Light Up The Sky
by Troublemaker-In-Chief
Summary: Lily and James are still grieving twelve years after Harry's death. He'd be 13 years old if he were alive. The war against Voldemort is more intense than ever. Three mysterious young Death Eaters keep helping the Aurors out. Read the full summary inside.
1. You're making a choice to live like this

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, obviously, yada yada yada.**

**Full summary: _Twelve years ago, Peter Pettigrew kidnapped Harry Potter and brought him to Lord Voldemort to be killed. To this day, Lily and James Potter grieve over the death of their son and have trouble coming to terms with what happened. They never got closure because no one ever found Harry's body. The war against Voldemort died down for a couple of years. There was a long period of time where Voldemort and his Death Eaters didn't come out into the open, leading some people to believe the war was over. But now the war is back again in full force, and James is determined to avenge his son and kill Voldemort, once and for all. _**

**_But complications arise when three very young Death Eaters help the Aurors during a battle. Who are these three young Death Eaters and why are they helping the Aurors?_  
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**_I miss you, I miss you so bad_  
_ I don't forget you, oh it's so sad_  
_ I hope you can hear me_  
_ I remember it clearly _

_I didn't get around to kiss you_  
_ Goodbye on the hand_  
_ I wish that I could see you again_  
_ I know that I can't

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_

They say June 21st is the longest day of the year. James Potter disagreed. For him, July 31st was the longest day of the year.

James Potter came home from a long day at the Auror office feeling like there was a heavy weight sitting on his chest. That heavy weight had been sitting there since he woke up in the morning and looked at the calendar. Today was July 31st. When he went downstairs for breakfast he found Lily making waffles with a too-cheerful smile pinned on her face. But James saw right through that smile. There was nothing genuine about it. The smile made her look fragile, like if you touched her she'd shatter. Neither of them acknowledged what day it was. Neither wanted to be the first to bring it up. The first one to bring it up was usually the first one to break down in tears.

Work was always terrible for him on July 31st. Half the people at work didn't know what was so significant about July 31st and went about their day as usual, and the other half of people who _did_ know talked to James in the same tone of voice you'd use at a funeral: soft, quiet, and full of pity. There was no balance between the two. So the hours dragged on by before James could go home.

When he finally came home to Potter Manor, the weight still sitting on his chest, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Lily was a Healer at Saint Mungo's and wasn't expected to be home for another hour. The silence in the empty house was deafening. Every footstep across the foyer, every tick of the grandfather clock on the wall, every pained breath and every lonely moment was roaring with the sound of _What Ifs._

_What if Harry hadn't been killed? What if he was alive right now? What if I woke up this morning and came downstairs to find Harry sitting at the kitchen table, and discovered the last twelve years of my life had been just a nightmare? _

_What if? What if? What if?_

If Harry hadn't been killed, the house wouldn't be so silent. Harry's footsteps would be pounding up and down the stairs, Lily would be laughing and trying to make a birthday cake, Harry would be noisily banging around up in his room while he waited for us to wrap his presents, people would be swarming in and out of the fireplace, coming to visit him on his 13th birthday.

But Harry _had_ been killed. And the house was silent.

James sat down on the couch and buried his face in his hands. He was only 33 years old but at the moment he felt like he'd lived for centuries. July 31st itself always held a century inside of it. The minutes passed much slower on that day than on any other day.

"Happy birthday, Harry." James whispered to someone who wasn't there.

He sat like that for a few moments, drowning in an ocean of _What Ifs_ and letting his regrets eat him alive. Until he heard a crash from upstairs.

Without missing a beat, James had pulled his wand from the pocket of his robes and raced upstairs. His heart was racing in fear and anxiety; could a Death Eater have broken in-?

But then he heard sobbing. Jagged, heart-wrenching sobs coming from the room at the end of the hall. James put his away his wand and walked into Harry's room to find Lily curled up on the floor, weeping. A broken picture frame was shattered on the floor. James assumed that had been what made the crash. He picked the picture up off the floor; it was one of Peter holding Harry. Anger boiled up inside of him and he understood why Lily had thrown it across the room.

"J-J-James," She stuttered through her sobs when she saw he had come in. "Oh, G-G-God, I c-couldn't go to work today. It h-hurts so bad, I feel like I'm g-going to d-d-die."

The tears James had been holding back all day finally escaped when he heard her say that. And suddenly he was on the floor, wrapping his arms around Lily, burying his face in her hair and crying with her.

"He'd b-b-be thirteen years old today, James, he's be thirteen b-b-b-but he's _gone -_"

"Lily Flower," James said, his voice thick with tears. "We received a tip that there's going to be a Death Eater meeting at a warehouse in London next week. Remus, Sirius and I were selected, among a few others, to raid the building and arrest the Death Eaters. If we arrest these Death Eaters then this can bring us closer to Voldemort's downfall. And I swear, Lily, I swear on my soul that I will fucking kill Voldemort some day. I'll kill him, and I'll kill Peter too. I swear."

"Oh, James." Lily sobbed, throwing her arms around him.

* * *

"My Lord, the trap has been set. The Aurors will arrive at the warehouse next week." A Death Eater said from the floor where he bowed, practically kissing Lord Voldemort's robes. "It is all going according to plan."

"Excellent, Macnair. I am pleased with you." Voldemort said in a delighted tone, much to Macnair's relief. "Do you know which Aurors should be there?"

"I don't know _all _of them, but I know Scrimgeour, Shacklebolt, Lupin, Black, McNaughton, Flaherty and Potter will be there. There will probably be many others, as well." Macnair said in a trembling voice.

"Scrimgeour, Shacklebolt, Black and Potter...those are the best Aurors the Ministry has to offer. I must admit that they are worthy opponents for my Death Eaters. Scrimgeour has always been a tough one, Shacklebolt is naturally gifted. Potter, as young as he may be, is quite a challenging opponent. His power impresses even me. And after I _'killed'_ his son twelve years ago" Voldemort grinned cruelly. "he has been fighting against me with more determination than ever. The same goes for Sirius Black, James Potter's closest friend and godfather of his child. Yes, this could be quite a challenge tomorrow. But I have faith that my Death Eaters will succeed."

"Yes, yes, yes, we will succeed, my Lord!" Macnair said hurriedly. "We will not let you down!"

"You had better not." Voldemort said sternly.

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**Reviews are GREATLY appreciated! I'll update sooner and more often if I get reviews. Sorry if I sound like a review-whore. XD**


	2. All of the noise, I am silence

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, don't sue me, blah blabbity blah.**

**Author's note: Thanks so much for reviewing last time, you guys. :'D Reviews give me the strength to carry on. I'm glad to know you guys liked the last chapter. Tell me what you think of this one. ;D  
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**_The days are cold living without you_  
_ The nights are long, I'm growing older_  
_ I miss the days of old, thinking about you_  
_ You may be gone, but you're never over_

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Grief is sneaky. It doesn't always follow you around loudly. Sometimes it tiptoes after you quietly, so you don't even feel it coming, and then it jumps out at you when you're least expecting it. Sometimes you can be leaning back and laughing with your friends, enjoying life, when suddenly someone will make some remark about the weather and your mind will find some way to connect that to the person you're missing. And then memories will hit you with the force of a wrecking ball and you suddenly feel this ache in your chest that had been there all along, but you'd been too busy to notice it.

That's what happened to James all the time. He'd find grief over Harry in places where he'd never expect it: at work, at Quidditch games, in the sky. Time didn't take away the pain. It just made it come in intervals instead of having it constantly.

The grief was always there at the back of James' mind, like a song he got stuck in his head. It was always somewhere underneath his other thoughts and only came to the surface if something reminded him of it. Most of the time it was just a whisper, looping over and over in the background: _"Harry's dead. Harry's dead. Harry's dead," _a whisper James didn't notice unless he focused on it._  
_

But sometimes it was like a scream that drowned out everything.

Just like now.

Remus and Sirius came over for dinner. Lily kept smiling and making small talk about work and Quidditch. That's how James knew she was faking it. Lily would never try to talk about Quidditch unless she was avoiding talking about something else. James sat in an armchair by the fire, his thoughts screaming at him: _"HARRY'S DEAD! HARRY'S DEAD! HE'S DEAD! DEAD -"_

He felt like he was crumbling apart from the inside. His fists clenched and unclenched on the armrests. Wasn't there anything that could make the screaming stop? Make his mind shut off? He racked his brain desperately for anything that could dull the pain: sleep and death. But those options were out of the question. Sleep brought nightmares. And death? James wasn't _that_ desperate. Not desperate enough to leave behind Lily and let her suffer through this life alone, having lost her parents, son _and_ husband. No, death wasn't something he'd even consider.

So what? What could dull the pain? What could make it better?

Nothing. That's what.

So James sat in the chair, a smile stuck on his face as Sirius and Remus laughed about something. He felt like he was watching one of those Muggle television shows Lily was so fond of. He felt detached from what was going on in front of him, like he was watching it all from behind a screen. Or like he was looking in on a window of somebody else's life. It was surreal, the way everyone around him was smiling and talking and James was just sitting there with his teeth clenched so he wouldn't scream out loud the way he was screaming in his head.

Was this karma? Was it punishment for bullying people back when James was fifteen? Was it life's way of repaying him for being conceited and arrogant and publicly humiliating Severus Snape all those times at Hogwarts? If that was the case then James was genuinely, utterly sorry. So sorry he couldn't even express it in words. He'd take it all back; every snide remark, every time he sneered at a Slytherin, every hex he shot towards Snape, every time he purposely messed up his hair to look like he'd just stepped off a broomstick. He'd take all of it back if there was just some way he could see his son again.

He'd searched for Harry years ago. When they'd found out Peter kidnapped Harry and brought him to Voldemort to be killed, the Ministry officials said there was absolutely no way Harry could be alive. But there had never been a body, so James searched vigorously for months. He never completely stopped searching, but his search died down after a while, when he realized Lily needed him more than he needed to look for Harry. Because somewhere inside him there was a dejected voice saying: _'Face it, he's dead and gone, your search is pointless. Stay with Lily.'_

James knew Lily missed Harry just as much as he did. Lily had even told James a few times how much she prayed for a miracle that would bring him back. And even though they'd carried on with their lives and laughed and smiled and went to parties, there was this shadow of grief following both of them everywhere through the years. It was just less noticeable sometimes.

"So, James, we've got a big mission next week." Sirius grinned and leaned back against the couch. "Gonna bust some Death Eater heads, am I right? They won't even know what hit them. Not like that will stop old Scrimgeour from grouching about how we all need to train more vigorously, because this whole thing could be a trap."

"It _could_ be a trap, you know, Sirius." Remus frowned.

"Oh, stop it, Moony! You know it's not a trap." Sirius laughed. "Its too obvious to be a trap!"

"It _does_ sound rather obvious." Lily said. "If it were a trap, the Death Eaters would have made it less obvious. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Sirius. For once in my life."

"Ouch, Lil! That hurts." Sirius said. "And no, it isn't 'for once in your life.' I'm almost positive you agreed with me on something else before. I just can't think of what it was..."

"_Lily_ agree with _you_, Padfoot? It was probably just a dream." James grinned, shaking off his sad thoughts and joining the conversation.

"I _do_ have quite a lot of dreams about Lily..." Sirius sighed. "OUCH!" Sirius jumped up in his seat when James whipped a pillow at his face. "Only joking, mate, only joking."

They talked for hours into the night, swapping stories about what went on in the Auror office that day. Lily told them about a ridiculously rude new Healer at St. Mungo's who transferred from another Wizard Hospital in New Zealand. They joked and laughed merrily, drinking Firewhiskey, all sadness forgotten, until Sirius brought it up.

"I 'member what it wuz now." Sirius slurred. James sniggered drunkenly at how silly Sirius sounded. "I 'member what it wuz Lil agreed wif' me about."

"What was it?" Remus asked, only a little bit drunk. He never drank as much as Sirius and James did.

"The name." Sirius said, leaning forward in his chair a bit.

"What name?" James asked, his brain feeling silly and happy with drunkenness. Everything looked and sounded funny to him.

"Harry's name." Sirius said, suddenly sounding more sober than before.

The smiles were wiped off of everyone's faces immediately at the mention of Harry. A long silence met this, a silence that spoke louder than words. It pressed in on their ears and smothered them slowly for almost a minute before Lily spoke up.

"I remember, Sirius." She whispered, eyes glazed over. "You and James were thinking of all these stupid names like Elvendork and Bathsheba..." She laughed a little bit, but her eyes never lost that glazed look. She looked on the verge of tears. "But then you said '_Why don't you name him Harry, after James' father.' _And I agreed with you."

James started to hear it again, that constant whisper in the background of his thoughts: _'Harry's dead, Harry's dead, Harry's dead.'_

But now he wasn't the only one who could hear it. Lily, Remus and Sirius heard it too. It was written on all of their faces_. _Everyone was silent again. And the silence had something to say, too: _What if? What if? What if?__  
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Lestrange Manor was always either too quiet or too loud. There was never a balance between the two. Sometimes it was packed with purebloods; Death Eaters and their children coming in and out of the fireplace, filling the house with voices, footsteps and noise. At other times, Lestrange Manor was empty. And the emptiness spoke louder than anything.

The emptiness filled every corner of the room, every crack in the floorboards, every gap between the curtains. It filled every waking moment with _What If, What If, What If. _Right now, the house was empty except for a young boy who was sitting on the floor of his shared bedroom. The two other boys he shared the room with weren't "home" yet. So the young boy sat in boredom, using magic to bounce a rubber ball off the wall, listening to the _thump, thump, thump_ each time it hit, trying to drown out the sound of _What Ifs._

_What if things were different? What if I didn't live here at Lestrange Manor? What if I left? What if I ran away right now? What if Kyro came with me? What if what if what if what if -_

"Harry, love." Said a voice from the doorway.

The ball stopped thumping against the wall and rolled under the bed farthest from the door, as if trying to hide.

"What, Bella?" Asked the boy on the floor irritably.

"Don't take that tone with me." Bellatrix Lestrange said, although she didn't sound angry. She smiled as she entered the room. "I just came up here to tell you something."

"What, Bella?" Harry repeated.

"First of all, happy birthday. Second, I'd like to remind you that we are training later. You need to keep practicing the Reductor Curse we worked on this morning." Bellatrix said. "Also, the Dark Lord has set a trap for the Aurors. They think they've received an anonymous tip that there's going to be a Death Eater meeting at a warehouse next week. They have no idea that one of our own Death Eaters gave them the tip. When they show up at the warehouse next week, we'll be waiting for them."

"Sounds great, Bella." Harry said monotonously. He'd learned years ago that it was best to just nod and agree with whatever Bellatrix says.

"You, Kyro and Mile, along with a few other Junior Death Eaters, will be coming on this mission with us." Bellatrix said. "We've kept the Junior Death Eaters a secret for too long. The rest of the Wizarding World are starting to feel hopeful that they can win this war. When they find out that we've been training children to be Death Eaters, all feelings of hope will be crushed, and they will start to feel defeated."

"Sounds cheerful, Bella."

"So you better continue to practice the curses and hexes I've been showing you, the Reductor Curse in particular. You're a little slow on that one. And you better be on your best behavior next week. Do not step out of line. Do not remove your mask. Do not make me regret persuading the Dark Lord not to kill you all those years ago."

"You say that every time I do something wrong. '_Do not make me regret persuading the Dark Lord not to kill you when you were a baby.' _Bloody hell, you're a broken record, Bella, I swear." Harry rolled his eyes. Bellatrix's eyes flashed warningly, so Harry threw his hands up and said, "Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to mess this up. If it means attacking the Aurors, I'm all for it. I want to see them suffer as much as you do. They killed my parents, after all."

"You're completely right, Harry. The Aurors _did_ kill your parents. And your parents would be proud to know that their son is following their footsteps in becoming a Death Eater." Bellatrix grinned, putting a hand on his shoulder. "And that is why I _know_ you will not do anything stupid on the mission next week. I have faith in you."

Harry smiled and said, "Thanks Bella."

But on the inside he was thinking: _What if? What if? What if?_

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_**Oh snap! Please review and tell me what you think. :D**_  
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	3. We already know how it ends tonight

**Disclaimer: I don't think this is even necessary by now.**

**Author's note: Thanks so much for reviewing, you guys! I just published the second chapter earlier today and now I'm updating again, haha! Don't forget to review telling me what you think of this, and I'd love to hear your theories on what you think will happen. And if you guys could recommend this story to your friends or people on other websites/forums, that would be amazing and I'd love you forever! Okay, I'm going to stop bothering you now and let you read the story.**

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_I try to make you see my side _  
_I always try to stay in line _  
_But your eyes see right through _  
_That's all they do _  
_I'm getting buried in this place _  
_I've got no room, you're in my face _  
_Don't say anything, j__ust go away_

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"Look at him. Look at him squirm. Its pathetic. He _deserves_ the pain. And you can do it. Feel the power in your hand."

The man on the floor cowered in fear, holding his arms over his face, trying to shield himself from whatever was coming next. He trembled and whimpered, occasionally mumbling about how he had a wife and child at home, and they needed him. Sweat was glistening on his forehead and his eyes were red and puffy, tears spilling down his pale cheeks.

"Its just one little word, Harry: _Crucio._ Say it. Say it and mean it. You already have the power, you just have to want it."

"Please, no. No, no..." The man on the floor moaned. "Please, don't, I'll do anything..."

"He has no dignity or pride. He deserves it, Harry." Bellatrix stepped forward from the shadows of the dungeon and placed her hand on Harry's shoulder. She looked at him eagerly, trying to hide her impatience behind a stiff smile. "Just say it, Harry. Say '_Crucio' _and you can punish this foolish man for everything he has done to the Dark Lord."

Harry's chest rose and fell with every deep breath he took. His nerves were all strung together. His hand that held the wand was trembling; he tried to hold it steady. He tried to hide it, but on the inside he was just as terrified as the man on the floor was.

"Harry, just _do_ it already." Bellatrix snapped. "The attack on the Aurors is in two days. You need to be prepared. What if you come face to face with the Auror that killed your family? You'll need to punish him."

"I don't even know his name." Harry said, not sure if he was referring to the man cowering on the floor or the Auror who killed his parents.

"Sirius Black." Bellatrix said. "His name is Sirius Black, the Auror who killed your parents. He's also a filthy, foolish blood traitor who betrayed his own family. You'll know who he is when you see him. He looks a bit like me; we're cousins. He deserves to die for what he did to our families. Betraying the Blacks and then killing your parents-"

"Sirius Black?" The man on the floor croaked. "He never killed _anyone_-"

"SHUT UP!" Bellatrix shrieked at the man on the floor, who stopped talking immediately. "Don't listen to this fool. He's just trying to save Sirius. Say the curse now, Harry."

"I _can't_." Harry said, feeling terrible when the man on the floor started sobbing.

"I'm losing my patience with you, boy, do it now! Don't be a bloody coward! Have some backbone! Your parents wouldn't want to have a son who was too pathetic to cast a simple Cruciatus Curse! They'd want you to toughen up and do as I say!"

Harry was visibly shaking now, his stomach churning in fear of what Bellatrix would do to him if he disobeyed, and sympathy for the man on the floor. His grip on the wand was loosening, his hands were so sweaty.

The man on the floor looked up at him with pleading eyes - eyes that widened in shock when he looked at Harry's face.

"You - your eyes look familiar." The man said. "I think I've seen you before."

"You think you've seen Harry before?" Bellatrix laughed like that was the most hilarious thing she's ever heard. "That's ridiculous! It must have been someone who looks like him."

"What's your surname?" The man asked Harry.

"Mendacium." Bellatrix answered for him. "He is Harry Mendacium, son of Carlian and Margret Mendacium. So whoever you're thinking of, it isn't him. Now shut up before I torture you myself." Bellatrix turned back to Harry and said, "Come on, Harry, do it now. Its not that hard! All you have to do is point your wand at him and say '_Crucio'_ and it'll be all done! But if you're going to be a little baby, I'm going to get upset!"

_You're already upset,_ Harry wanted to say, but decided against it. She'd surely lose her head if he said something like that right now.

"Do it! Just do it already, for Merlin's sake, just do it! Its not that hard! Do I have to tell the Dark Lord you're too much of a coward to torture someone? He's not going to like it if I have to explain to him you're not ready for the mission that's only _two days from now_ -"

"I can't do it, I just can't, alright?" Harry said, feeling angry himself now. Why should he have to torture some innocent man he didn't even know?

"What would your parents think?" Bellatrix shouted.

"I don't know what they'd think, because I never met them, did I? They're dead!" Harry shouted back.

_SMACK!_

Harry staggered back against the wall, his ears ringing and his face stinging where Bellatrix had slapped him. He put his hand over his cheek to try and dull the pain. His face felt like it was on fire and he tasted blood in his mouth.

_"DON'T YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU FILTHY LITTLE HALF-BLOOD!"_

Bellatrix stood before him, her chest rising and falling heavily, a furious look in her eyes. She had her wand clutched tightly in her hand like she was about to use it, and her skin was devoid of color. All traces of patience and pretend-motherliness had vanished. She looked dangerous now.

"_I'VE PUT UP WITH YOUR FLIPPANT ATTITUDE FOR THIS LONG BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD TRAIN YOU TO BE A GREAT DEATH EATER! I DIDN'T WORRY ABOUT HOW UNENTHUSIASTIC YOU ARE ABOUT THE DARK LORD'S CAUSE BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD PUNISH IT OUT OF YOU! BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO REGRET PERSUADING THE DARK LORD NOT TO KILL YOU WHEN YOU WERE A BABY!"_

Harry felt like now was not the time to make a joke about how many times she's said that before, because if he _did_ say something about it, she'd probably wring his neck on the spot._  
_

"NOW COME OVER HERE AND WATCH AS I CRUCIATE THIS MAN IN FRONT OF YOU, SO YOU CAN LEARN HOW ITS DONE!"Bellatrix shrieked. She rounded on the man on the floor and before he could even flinch, she screamed, "_CRUCIO_!"_  
_

The man's screams echoed off the walls of the dungeon and carried down the corridor outside. Harry watched in horror as the man writhed on the stone floor, digging his nails into his palms, his back arching and mouth stretching open in a scream that seemed to go on forever. Bellatrix's amused laughter mixed in with the man's screams and the louder the screams got, the more hysterical she laughed._  
_

_Stop it, stop it, STOP IT,_ Harry thought, pressing his hands over his ears trying to drown out the screams. _STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP -_

"CRUCIO! AND CRUCIO AGAIN, AND CRUCIO AGAIN, AND CRUCIO UNTIL HARRY LEARNS HOW TO DO IT!"Bellatrix laughed.

"STOP!" Harry yelled. "STOP, LEAVE HIM ALONE -"

"YOU WANT ME TO STOP? I'LL STOP WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO RESPECT YOUR SUPERIORS! I'LL STOP WHEN YOU PROMISE YOU'LL BEHAVE ON THE MISSION TWO DAYS FROM NOW! I'LL STOP WHEN YOU AGREE TO FIGHT AGAINST THE AURORS WITHOUT BEING TOO AFRAID TO CURSE THEM!"

"I WILL! I'LL FIGHT THE AURORS, I'LL CURSE THEM, I'LL DO WHATEVER, JUST STOP IT!"

"Well, why didn't you just say so, Harry?" Bellatrix asked sweetly, lowering her wand and releasing the man from the curse.

The man's screams cut off immediately, throwing the dungeon into sudden silence. The only sound was Harry's heavy breathing and the man panting loudly on the floor. Harry looked at Bellatrix's triumphant smiling face and thought, _She's mad, she's absolutely mad.__  
_

He always knew Bellatrix had a dark side but he'd never actually seen her go from torturing someone to smiling sweetly. The sudden mood swing made her appear completely unhinged and Harry couldn't help but back up a step. Bellatrix noticed this, and laughed again.

"Oh, poor baby, am I scaring you?" Bellatrix asked with a mocking pout. "Come on upstairs, let's get the poor baby something to eat, he must be starving after being down here in the big scary dungeon all day, poor thing..."

She grabbed Harry's shoulders and steered him out of the room and up the stairs into the bright manor, cooing the entire time, "_Poor baby, poor baby,"_ in a mocking tone.

But something Bellatrix had said stayed in Harry's mind: _'DON'T YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU FILTHY LITTLE HALF-BLOOD!'_

_ Filthy little half-blood,_ Harry thought. _Filthy little half-blood...filthy little half-blood...half-blood?_

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	4. You run in the dark through a firefight

**Disclaimer: I don't think this is even necessary by now, really. I don't own HP.**

**Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I'm back from Florida and it was AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. The WWOHP is so great, it was fantastic. I loved it so much. But I'll let you get onto the story. I made it extra long for you guys. :D**

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_I said I'm okay but I know how to lie_  
_You were all that I had, you were delicate and hard to find,_  
_I got lost in the back of my mind,_  
_And I can never get back, no I've never got back_

_What am I fighting for?_  
_There must me something more_  
_For all these words I've said, do you feel anything?_

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"McNaughton is gone." Scrimgeour announced to a room of Aurors who were all staring at him expectantly. "Some witnesses say they saw him being abducted on Diagon Alley by a group of Death Eaters, Bellatrix Lestrange leading the group."

"I can't believe this!" Sirius yelled loudly. "We need him! Who else is going to fill his spot?"

"We'll have to find somebody else, someone in the junior ranks." Remus sighed.

"But McNaughton was a good fighter, that's why he was chosen for this mission!" James ran a hand through his hair. "And what are we going to tell his wife?"

"And why was _he_ chosen to be abducted?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked, his voice much calmer than everyone else's. He was always able to stay rational, even during a crisis.

"Well, he was an Auror, wasn't he?" Scrimgeour snapped. "Obviously they'd want to abduct an Auror. We're not exactly on good terms with them."

"He _was_ an Auror? _Was_? We don't even know if he's dead, we can't go around referring to him in the past tense." Eric Flaherty snapped back.

"You missed the point, Scrimgeour." Kingsley said coolly. "Why was McNaughton chosen to be abducted, but not James? James was in the area at the time. Weren't you, James?"

Everyone turned to look at James.

"That's true...I _was_ around Diagon Alley the time McNaughton was abducted..." James said slowly.

"Then why didn't you do something to stop him from being abducted?" Scrimgeour asked harshly.

"Shut up, Scrimgeour. I just said I was in the area, that doesn't mean I witnessed it without doing anything to stop it." James replied flippantly.

"You ought to have more respect to someone of a higher rank than you." Scrimgeour narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, you should just fire me then. I mean, its not like we're in the middle of a war and need all the Aurors we can get."

"James, Rufus, can we discuss this like adults?" Remus stood and held up his hands. "Everyone needs to stop fighting each other. It won't solve anything, and it definitely won't help us find McNaughton."

"Finding McNaughton isn't the priority at the moment. Our objective is to find a replacement for him to fill in for the mission that's only two days from now." Scrimgeour said. He could see that he was getting angry looks, so he quickly added, "I want to find McNaughton just as much as you all do, but the raid on the Death Eaters' meeting is in 48 hours, and we have to be prepared."

Nobody could argue with that.

"We might hear some information about how the Dark Lord seems so indestructible, and maybe then we'll get an idea of how to defeat him." Scrimgeour said. "This could be the most important mission ever, so we have to be ready -"

Just then, the door of the room banged open. They all looked up, expecting to see another Auror, a messenger, or maybe even Dumbledore, but they certainly did not expect to see bug-eyed, batty old Sybil Trelawney.

"Hello, dears." Trelawney said. "I was wondering if any of you could point me in the direction of the Divination Department? It seems I've gotten lost, and ended up here in this strange place."

"This is the Auror department, professor." James rolled his eyes.

"Oh, hello there, James, dear. Haven't seen you in a couple of years." Trelawney said in a misty voice. "I remember when you were my student. You got terrible grades in my class, I'm afraid you just do not have the Seeing Eye."

"Of course I don't have the Seeing Eye. That's why I wear glasses." James said with a smirk.

Sirius nearly fell out of his seat laughing.

"Professor Trelawney, could you please ask somebody else to show you the way? We're in the middle of an important meeting." Scrimgeour said impatiently.

"Oh, I am so sorry, I apologize deeply for interrupting your big important meeting." Trelawney said in a miffed tone, walking towards the door. "I guess I shall be going now, since none of you _'gentleman'_ feel like showing a poor woman the way -"

"So, as I was saying -" Scrimgeour started again.

Trelawney was halfway to the door when she suddenly went rigid and stopped walking.

"Well, what is it, Trelawney? I don't have time for these games. If you have something to say, then say it." Scrimgeour snapped.

Trelawney fell to her knees and started twitching and shaking, her head lolling on her shoulder and her mouth gaping open. Everyone rose from their seats to see what was the matter with her. Remus and Kingsley rushed forward, lifted her up, and helped her into a chair. She was still shaking and rolling her head around.

"What's wrong with her?" Scrimgeour asked. "Is she having a seizure or something?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Trelawney suddenly spoke in a deep, raspy voice:

**_"The greatest gift has no cost_**

**_When one has found who has been lost_**

**_But before who's lost can be found_**

**_Plans must run into the ground_**

**_See past the mask and listen close_**

**_You will hear what you miss the most_**

**_But someone must return to hell_**

**_Before all can be well"_**

Everyone looked at each other warily, the words running over and over in their minds. What was that supposed to mean?

"What was that she just said?" Scrimgeour asked.

"A prophecy." James asked, horrible memories suddenly crashing down on him. He gripped the edge of the table and tried to remember how to breathe. "A real one."

"How do you know its real?" Scrimgeour asked.

"Because I bloody do, is that a good enough answer?" James snapped.

"No, that is not a good enough -"

"Piss off, Scrimgeour." Sirius said, noticing James was having a hard time holding it together and stepping closer to him.

Scrimgeour was about to say something to Sirius but was interrupted when Trelawney suddenly sat up, blinking around at everyone.

"Why am I sitting in this chair?" Trelawney asked.

"Because you went all rigid, fell over, and recited a prophecy." Sirius replied carelessly as he studied James' face, trying to make sure he'd be alright.

"I most certainly did not!" Trelawney laughed. "You must be awfully tired, starting to hallucinate. Well, I'd better be off. I'll go find somebody else to show me to the Divination Department, since none of you care enough to show me."

After she'd gone, Scrimgeour faced everyone.

"Well, how are we supposed to figure out what that means?" He asked. "Does anyone remember everything she said?"

"I remember all of it. I have a very good memory." Flaherty said.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Scrimgeour said. "Copy it down."

Flaherty, eager to please, pulled out a quill and started writing down the prophecy on a piece of parchment. When he was done copying, he handed it to Kingsley.

"Do you have an idea of what it could mean?" Flaherty asked Kingsley. "You're the most rational one here."

"Although I think Flaherty is an insufferable ass kisser, I'm going to have to agree with him. Kingsley is the most rational one here." Sirius said. "Have a go at it, Kingsley."

"Well, it says here: _'When one has found who has been lost.' _That must mean McNaughton, since we just recently lost him." Kingsley said. "So maybe this prophecy means we're going to find him. But only after some plans run into the ground. Our plans, Voldemort's plans, I don't know for sure."

"It also said_ 'Someone must return to hell before all can be well.'_ I wonder what that means..." Remus said.

"Isn't it obvious, Moony?" Sirius said. "It means Voldemort needs to bite the dust and go to hell before everyone can be happy."

"But it says '_Return_ to hell' not '_Go_ to hell,' Padfoot." Remus said.

"So maybe Voldemort was a demon in his past life? Who really knows?" James suggested. "It has to mean Voldemort."

"Well, whatever it means, we'll find out soon." Remus said.

**

* * *

**

"Headmaster," Severus Snape strode into Albus Dumbledore's office without bothering to knock. "I have important news."

"Good evening, Severus." Dumbledore smiled at Snape from his desk. "How have you been?"

"Let's skip the small talk. I have news about the Dark Lord, in regards of the trap he's set for the Aurors." Snape said.

"Trap? You mean to say the meeting in two days is a _trap_?" Dumbledore looked suddenly alarmed. "Why haven't you bothered to tell me this before now?"

"I thought you'd already deduced that much, I didn't think I had to spell it out for you; its completely obvious. Even a fool could recognize that this is a trap." Snape said harshly. "Would you like to hear what I have to say or not?"

"Alright then, Severus. What news do you have?" Dumbledore asked.

"The trap on the Aurors is merely a trick to get them away from the Ministry; a sort of distraction. And if I'm not mistaken, I have an idea of how the Dark Lord is keeping himself immortal." Snape said. "I believe he has horcruxes."

"Yes, I've suspected that much, but I've never had any proof." Dumbledore nodded. "Why does Voldemort want to lure the Aurors away from the Ministry?"

"From what I've been able to deduce, the Dark Lord has hidden one of his horcruxes somewhere in the Department of Mysteries. He's changed his mind about how safe the hiding place is, and is planning on going to the Ministry to retrieve it. But he obviously can't have the Aurors there at the Ministry when he goes." Snape explained. "The trap for the Aurors isn't just about attacking them, its also about having them out of the way when he goes to retrieve his horcrux."

Dumbledore had already risen from his chair and was making his way toward the fireplace across the room.

"This changes everything. This might even lead us to the downfall of Voldemort." Dumbledore said. "I must alert the Order and the Aurors immediately."

"There's more." Snape said.

Dumbledore looked at him expectantly.

"I only just found out about this today, its been kept quiet so far. Only a few others, aside from the Dark Lord himself, know about this." Snape said. "They have been training children to be servants of the Dark Lord. They're referring to these children as Junior Death Eaters. I don't know the names of these children. From what I can tell, only the Dark Lord and the Lestranges know who these children are."

Dumbledore froze on the spot, a look of deep concentration on his face. And then there was a strange spark of hope in his eyes, although Snape didn't understand why.

"What is it?" Snape asked, surprised at Dumbledore's reaction. Snape had been expecting Dumbledore to be shocked or horrified by this news. He hadn't counted on Dumbledore looking like this could be a good thing.

"Could this mean...? No, no, impossible..." Dumbledore trailed off.

"What? Could this mean what? What's impossible?" Snape asked again.

"I can't say for sure...I don't want to tell anyone and then later find out I was wrong, that would be horrible...until I know for sure, I mustn't say anything." Dumbledore thought out loud.

"Just say it!" Snape said impatiently.

"Forget I said anything, Severus. I'm probably wrong, anyway."

"Aren't you always saying how you're almost always right?" Snape asked exasperatedly.

"Yes, I usually _am_ right. But now is one of those times where I am probably wrong, and if I _am_ wrong, it could hurt people if I told them this theory." Dumbledore said. "Now, if you'll excuse me Severus, I must warn the Aurors that its a trap, and tell them about the horcruxes."

* * *

"What's the matter with you?" Mile asked as Harry trudged into the room. "You look horrible."

Harry ignored him and walked over to the bed. Mile noticed that there was a slight limp to Harry's walk and the sleeves of his shirt were pulled down over his hands. Harry's face was blanched and there were shadows under his eyes. Mile's expression changed from one of boredom to concern before he dropped the cigarette he'd been flicking and jumped down from the top bunk of the bed.

"What's wrong, Harry, what happened -" Mile tried to grab Harry's arm, but Harry dodged him and dropped down on his bed on the bottom bunk. "Harry, something's wrong and I'm going to find out what happened, so you might as well tell me."

"Bugger off, Mile." Harry said exasperatedly. "Nothing happened."

"You were limping, and you look pale. And why are your sleeves pulled down like that?" Not waiting for an answer, Mile reached over and grabbed Harry's arm. Harry tried to yank it away, but Mile was faster than him; he pulled his sleeve down and looked at Harry's arm: it was smeared with blood. "What the bloody hell happened to you? What did you do?"

"I didn't do _anything_, Mile. Honestly, every time I get hurt you assume its because I did something."

"That's usually because you did something to get yourself hurt. Like, I don't know, piss off Bella, for example?"

"She pushes me too far."

"No, you push _her_ too far. Your smart remarks are funny sometimes, but not _all_ the time. Sometimes you need to drop the humor and get serious, or else they'll do something to injure you."

"Like try to smack some sense into me? They've done that before. It hasn't made me behave any better, so they might as well stop trying."

"See, there you go again. Stop trying to be funny."

"I don't _try_ to be funny, it just comes naturally."

"You're _not_ funny."

"Shut up, Mile. I'm hilarious."

"You're so aggravating!"

"Cry about it?" Harry suggested. "Anyway, get away from my bed. I can't sleep with you breathing down my neck. Where's Kyro?"

"Practicing some curses with Lucius."

"Wonderful." Harry said dryly.

"The attack on the Aurors is tomorrow. You're not going to be able to fight them if you're hurt." Mile changed the subject back.

"Well, that's okay, because I'm not hurt."

"You have blood all over your arm and you're limping."

"Bellatrix wouldn't hurt me so badly that I couldn't fight. She doesn't _want_ me to mess up tomorrow. She only roughed me up a little, that's all. I'll be fine in a few hours."

"And what did she 'rough you up' for?"

"Because I couldn't concentrate on the spells she's been teaching me." Harry said, only a little bit truthfully.

"What? That's ridiculous, she's never gotten angry over something so minor before. Are you sure you haven't done something really horrible to make her mad?"

"If I'd done something really horrible, I'd probably remember. She's mad because I can't concentrate on the spells and the attack on the Aurors is tomorrow, and she's terrified that we're not ready to fight."

"Well, she's worried about us." Mile said. "She probably doesn't want us to get hurt tomorrow."

"Ha!" Harry barked a laugh. "That's a good one."

"What are you on about?" Mile asked, narrowing his eyes. "Of course she's worried about us. Bella always worries about us."

"Mile, you're three years older than me, and most of the time you're wiser than me, too. But now is not one of those times."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Can't you see? Bella isn't worried about us. She's worried about the Dark Lord." Harry sighed, pressing his hands against his face, trying not to drown under the waves of physical and emotional pain that were suddenly crashing down on him. His voice cracked as he said, "I can't believe I didn't see it before."

Mile was about to come back with a retort, when he noticed the break in Harry's voice, and the way Harry's hands were suddenly trembling. Mile sat down on the edge of the bed and looked over at him. Harry's palms were pressed against his eyes; it was something he always did when he was trying not to cry and didn't want anyone to know.

"Didn't see _what_ before?" Mile asked. But this time he didn't sound annoyed or accusing. He sounded as if he genuinely wanted to know.

Harry took a deep breath and started to explain. When he was done explaining, Mile looked extremely alarmed.

"If you're right about this...what are you going to do about it?" Mile asked. "Are you still going to fight tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm going to fight tomorrow." Harry said. "I'm definitely going to fight tomorrow."

Harry pulled the blankets over his head and nearly blacked out from the pain in his wrists. Bellatrix had used a Curse on him that slit his wrists for a few minutes. Little did Mile know, it wasn't only because he hadn't been concentrating on the spells. Harry _had_ done something really horrible. Something Bellatrix only suspected him of doing. Once she had legitimate proof he'd done it, there was no telling what she'd do.

"I wish Raden were here." Harry said out loud after minutes of lying in darkness. He didn't know what made him say it, or where the thought came from. It just sneaked up on him while he was trying to sleep, and now he couldn't get it out of his head.

"So do I." Mile said from the other side of the room. "I wonder what's keeping Kyro."

"I hope Kyro's alright." Harry said, suddenly overcome with worry. Harry didn't really like Kyro very much; the two of them never got along. But the thought of Kyro ending up like Raden was horrifying.

"He'll be alright." Mile said quietly. "He's only practicing curses with Lucius. Nothing will happen."

"I bet that's what Raden thought."

"We don't even know if...that's what happened to him. For all we know, Raden really _could_ have died by accident."

"But what if it wasn't an accident?"

Mile couldn't think of anything to say, and neither could Harry. The top bunk above Harry where Raden used to sleep was so empty, they could literally feel the absence. The empty bed hung above Harry's like a ghost, rubbing Raden's death in his face. Neither of the two boys wanted to say anything else on the subject, so they let the silence take hold, filled to the brim with overwhelming _What Ifs._ But these _What Ifs_ were different from the usual ones.

_What if Raden hadn't died by accident? What if Raden were here right now, with me, Mile and Kyro? What if I mess up when I fight the Aurors tomorrow? What if I don't even fight them? What if I change the plans? What if Bellatrix hates me for it? What if she really doesn't care about us at all? What if she isn't worried about me, and she's only worried about the Dark Lord? What if she _never_ cared? What if she finds a way to prove what she already suspects I've done? What if? What if? What if?_


	5. I would explode just to save your life

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah.**

**Author's note: I actually just updated this story an hour ago, and now I'm updating again. I couldn't resist writing more, this idea has just been going over and over in my head. Pleeeaase review. :D  
**

* * *

_That's rock bottom_  
_ When this life makes you mad enough to kill_  
_ That's rock bottom_  
_ When you want something bad enough to steal_  
_ That's rock bottom_  
_ When you feel that you have had it up to here_  
_ Cause you're mad enough to scream but you're sad enough to tear

* * *

  
_

Everyone took Harry's death differently. Lily and James felt grief and depression. Remus felt lost and scared. Most other people felt pity. But Sirius felt anger.

The anger crept up on Sirius all the time, when he least expected it. It sneaked into his room at night and crawled into bed with him when he was trying to sleep, forcing him to get up and pace the room. The anger was so deep and so harsh that sometimes he felt like doing something drastic. The anger reached into his chest and squeezed his heart so he could barely breathe, barely think straight. Most of the time, his anger wasn't focused on just one thing. It was always a jumble of different reasons.

Angry because James was ruined for life, and although on the surface he seemed like the same person he used to be, on the inside he was permanently damaged and could never live the way he lived before.

Angry that Lily felt guilty about how she wasn't able to protect Harry from Voldemort all those years ago.

Angry that Lily and James would both never truly be happy again, no matter what.

Angry that Remus felt lost and scared to trust too many people.

Angry at Peter Pettigrew, for betraying everyone and taking his friend's son to be killed.

Angry at Voldemort for killing James' son and Sirius' godson, who'd been just an innocent toddler.

Angry at Voldemort just for existing.

Angry at himself for feeling angry all the time.

Just angry, angry, _angry._

He lay awake in bed the night before the attack on the Death Eaters. Dumbledore came to the Aurors yesterday and told them all that it was a trap, and that Voldemort was training kids to be Junior Death Eaters. Sirius felt the familiar anger bubbling up in his chest. What kind of evil prick would train kids to be Death Eaters? The thought of Voldemort training 16 and 17 year olds to be Death Eaters made Sirius want to hit something.

_Just go to sleep, already. The attack on the Death Eaters is tomorrow, you have to be rested._ Sirius thought. _Get some beauty sleep._

But the anger just wouldn't go away, and it was keeping him awake. Bright moonlight poured through the open bedroom window and shined on the picture frame on Sirius' desk. Sirius could see the picture from where he lay: it was a picture of himself holding Harry on his first birthday. Sirius had cake frosting all over his hair in the picture because, a few minutes before it was taken, Harry decided it would be a good idea to smash a handful of cake over Sirius' head and rub it in his hair. Sirius' face looked comically bewildered, Harry's face was alight with amusement, and in the background James was laughing so hard he was actually crying.

That was when life had been perfect. Or as perfect as anything could be in a world where Voldemort existed.

But now everything was all broken and fucked up, and nothing Sirius tried to do ever fixed it. When Harry died, things only spiraled down from there, and rock bottom was starting to feel like home.

_We have to do well on the mission tomorrow. We had to change the plans a bit, because of what Dumbledore told us about it being a trap. But everything should go all according to plan. And then we'll find the horcrux and destroy it, and fucking kill Voldemort for everything he's done._ Sirius thought. _That alone can't make things go back to the way they were, but maybe then I'll get some sleep._


	6. Yeah, I would explode

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, obviously.**

**Author's note: Thanks for the reviews! I love reviews so much. More of them would be lovely! :D In response to what someone said about Remus being an Auror: I imagine Remus would have been able to become an Auror, but he probably had to fight for the job for a while before they let him. And since the war against Voldemort is so bad, they need all the help they can get, even if someone is a werewolf. **

* * *

_Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door _  
_What's life like, bleeding on the floor, _

_So give me all your poison _  
_And give me all your pills _  
_And give me all your hopeless hearts _  
_And make me ill _  
_You're running after something _  
_That you'll never kill _  
_If this is what you want _  
_Then fire at will_

* * *

"Is everyone here?"

"Yes, Scrimgeour, everyone's here."

"Does everyone have their wand out?"

"Yes, Scrimgeour, everyone has their wand out."

"Does everyone remember the new plan?"

"For Merlin's sake, Scrimgeour, _yes,_ everyone remembers the new plan!"

"Wait a second. _I_ don't remember the new plan."

"God damn, Flaherty, we just went over this -"

"Quiet, you three!" Remus snapped, glaring at Scrimgeour, Flaherty and Sirius as all the Aurors stood across the street from an abandoned warehouse. "They'll hear us."

"They already know we're coming." Sirius reminded him. "They just don't know that we know they know we're coming."

"Huh?" Flaherty's face crumpled in confusion.

"Forget it." Sirius said. "Alright, let's get on with it. James, Remus, Kingsley and I will take the back entrance. Scrimgeour, Paleski, are you taking the front?"

"Yes, we are." Scrimgeour answered before turning to a nervous-looking Auror who seemed to be the youngest of the group. "Maran, you're the only replacement for McNaughton we could find at last minute, so you better not disappoint us. Straighten up your shoulders and get a tighter grip on that wand. You and Takashi are going to climb up to the second story window over there. If there are Death Eaters up there, stun them immediately." Scrimgeour looked over at Mad Eye Moody. "Moody, are there any Death Eaters up there?"

"Not that I can see." Moody grunted, his magical eye focused on the dark windows of the warehouse. "But they could be skulking around in the back..."

"Can we _please_ go over the plan one more time?" Flaherty whispered.

"Alright, alright." Scrimgeour said. "James, you explain."

"Why do I have to -"

"Just explain it to him, James. I have no more patience."

"Fine." James sighed. "Alright, Flaherty, listen closely because if I have to repeat myself I will hex you into next week. The Death Eaters don't know that we know its a trap. They're expecting us to all barge in the front door, not knowing they're waiting for us. But now that we _do_ know its a trap, we have that advantage. Scrimgeour and and Paleski there are going to come in the front, acting as a distraction. The rest of us will come from the back and from upstairs, catching them off guard. We stun as many of those gits as we possibly can, arrest them quickly, then find the PortKeys that lead to the Ministry. Because according to _Snape,_" James sneered. "there will be several PortKeys hidden somewhere. Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy are planning on meeting Voldemort at the Department of Mysteries. We have to get to those PortKeys before they do. But in case they _do_ happen to find the PortKeys first, Moody has a couple extra PortKeys on him. Don't you, Moody?"

"Yep," Moody growled. "Got 'em right here."

"Good." James said. "So are we all on the same page here?"

"But...I don't get why we don't just go to the Ministry and find You-Know-Who's horcrux before he does." Maran said nervously.

"Because Dumbledore said not to do that." James answered.

"But...why did he say not to do that?" Maran asked.

"He's Dumbledore. He doesn't need to specify a reason." James said. "Now, are we all on the same page?"

There were scattered mumbles of "yes" throughout the group.

"So we're all ready?" Scrimgeour looked at everyone's determined faces. They all nodded. "Alright. Get into position in three, two, one..."

* * *

"Does everyone remember the plan?" Bellatrix barked at the Death Eaters that were all facing her. "Because if any of you mess this up for the Dark Lord, the severest punishment awaits you."

Most of the Death Eaters nodded.

"Shall we go over the plan one more time anyway, in case any of them forgot?" Lucius drawled from beside Bellatrix.

Bellatrix heaved a sigh, rolled her eyes, and said, "Fine. I'll explain it one more time in case any of you are suffering from a sudden case of idiocy. The Aurors are here now. They're standing right across the street, preparing to come in and attack us. They think they've received an anonymous tip that we're having a meeting here. Little do they know, _we_ are the ones who gave them the tip. Soon they'll come barging in the door, firing stunning spells at us. But we'll be waiting here for them. As soon as we've killed, cursed and injured all of them, Lucius and I will take the PortKeys to the Department of Mysteries. _None of you_ are allowed to follow us. Once Lucius and I have gone, all of you must Apparate immediately."

Bellatrix fixed her eyes on six cloaked figures, standing at the back of the group, their faces hidden under eerie Death Eater masks. These six figures were shorter than the rest of the Death Eaters.

"I'm sure everyone has noticed that we have added six more to our number." Bellatrix smiled. The Death Eaters all turned and looked at the six standing at the back. "Those six people back there are actually _children._ Our Junior Death Eaters. Most of you haven't heard of them before now because the Dark Lord was saving them as a little surprise. Lucius, Macnair and myself have been training them the magic of the Dark Arts for the past seven years, and you'll find that they are exceptionally talented. So talented that you'd think they were adults, if you don't see their faces or hear their voices. And I expect all of them to be on their _best behavior._" Bellatrix glared at the shortest one who was standing in the middle. "You know who you are."

"So now we wait here, for the Aurors to obliviously walk through that door, expecting us to be discussing something important." Lucius laughed lazily. "You know, their cluelessness is sort of funny, in a way. They actually think we'd have an important meeting _here,_ in this ugly rundown place, instead of one of our own manors. What fools."

Everyone laughed. The laughter from the six Junior Death Eaters at the back rose louder than the rest. So loud, in fact, that it seemed rather forced. Bellatrix glared in that direction to make them stop.

"_Is McNaughton still locked in the trunk upstairs?" _Bellatrix whispered to Rodolphus. "We absolutely cannot let him get out again. If he gets out and the other Aurors find him...the things he's overheard while he was in the dungeon...he'd tell the Aurors everything..."

"Relax, Bella." Rodolphus whispered back. "The only way McNaughton could get out again is if somebody lets him out. And nobody here would do that."

"I'm not so sure about that." Bellatrix looked over at where the Junior Death Eaters were standing. "Maybe the person who tried to help McNaughton escape two days ago is here tonight_..."_

"You don't think..." Rodolphus followed Bellatrix's gaze and looked at the Junior Death Eaters. "Oh, is that why you used the Cutting Curse on Harry? You think he's the one who tried to set McNaughton free?"

"Its a possibility. He hasn't always shown a lot of enthusiasm for our noble cause, has he? And I tried to get him to use the Cruciatus Curse on the bloody Auror down in the dungeon, but the little twit wouldn't do it. He was practically crying when I tried to make him do it, the little baby." Bellatrix sneered. "I'm losing my patience with him. He ran away from us countless times, sometimes he's disrespectful to me, he doesn't seem to admire the Dark Lord or care about the Dark Lord's plans, he's just like his bloody parents. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to care about him. I think he's starting to realize that I don't. What if he_ is_ the one who tried to help McNaughton escape? The Dark Lord will be angry with me for my bad judgment. After all, _I _was the one who convinced the Dark Lord we could use the boy as a Death Eater."

"Don't worry about Harry, Bella. He probably didn't try to help McNaughton escape. McNaughton is a highly skilled Auror, he could have found a way out on his own. And if worst comes to worst and Harry really did it, we'll let Redler have the kid. Redler would use him as a chewtoy." Rodolphus assured her. "But try to have a little more faith in Harry. The boy shows promise. He may not have wanted to cruciate the Auror, but everyone is a little apprehensive their first time."

"_I_ wasn't." Bellatrix smirked.

"Of course you weren't." Rodolphus smiled. "But remember, Harry isn't as brilliant as you are. Let's give him another chance and see how it goes today. Maybe he'll surprise us by killing a couple of Aurors."

"I hope so." Bellatrix smiled nastily.

"Everyone!" Lucius said. "The Aurors are coming now. Get into position."

"Are you ready?" Bellatrix asked the Junior Death Eaters as she walked over to them. They all nodded. "Now, remember, the plan is to curse them all before they can stun us. However, if any of them manage to block our curses and start dueling with us, do not turn your back on them. The dumbest thing to do when you're dueling with someone is turn your back on them. Remember the Cruciatus Curse, the Sectumsempra curse, the Reductor Curse and the Killing Curse. Those are the ones you'll be needing the most. And do not, absolutely _do not,_ remove your mask. No matter what happens. Are we understood?" Bellatrix looked significantly at the smallest Junior Death Eater when she said this. "Harry, do you understand me? Do you swear not to remove your mask?"

The smallest one and presumably the youngest looked over at her, his eyes covered by the mask.

"Yes, Bella. I swear not to remove my mask." Harry answered in a voice that _would_ have sounded sweet and polite, if Bellatrix didn't know him better.

"You better not." Bellatrix said. "Now, everyone have your wands out and face the door. The Aurors should be here any second. In three, two, one..."

* * *

**Uh oh! A cliffhanger! I hope you all don't hate me for it. XD But don't worry. The next chapter will probably be up really soon, at least by tomorrow.  
**


	7. Let me light up the sky

**Author's note: Hey you guys! I'm so so sorry that it took me so long to update. I thought I'd update in one day, but instead it took me over a week. Really sorry. I've been so unusually busy lately, and I couldn't think of what should happen in this chapter. But I've got the next few chapters planned out so I should update soon. I promise this time! Please review. :)**

**Oh and want to know something funny and weird? I was walking around outside trying to think of ideas for the story, when suddenly a car drove by with the windows open and the music blasting, and guess what song was playing? Light Up The Sky! Super weird coincidence. Anyway, I'll let you read now. :]**

**

* * *

**

_Long lost words whisper slowly to me_  
_Still can't find what keeps me here_  
_When all this time I've been so hollow inside_

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down_  
_Fearing you, loving you_  
_I know I'll find you somehow_

* * *

The door banged open; everyone in the room pointed their wands at the two Aurors who just opened the door. Lucius recognized them; their names were Scrimgeour and Paleski. Scrimgeour was one hell of an Auror, but Paleski was rather average. However, Lucius was surprised to see there were only two of them. Only two Aurors came to fight an entire group of Death Eaters? Maybe the others were too scared to come. Starting to lose their nerve...Lucius smiled to himself. He had been expecting maybe five or six Aurors to come. This would be easier than he'd expected.

"Oh, how terrifying!" Bellatrix laughed. "Only two Aurors bothered to come! This shouldn't take long at all. _AVADA -_"

"_EXPELLIARMUS!" _A dozen people shouted from behind.

Bellatrix's wand flew from her hand and disappeared into one of the dark corners of the warehouse. She and all the other Death Eaters spun around to see five Aurors coming down the stairs from the second floor, and ten more coming in the back door. All of the Death Eaters were temporarily stunned with confusion: _how had the Aurors known about the other entrances? Did they know this had been a trap?_ None of the Death Eaters had counted on this; this was something they hadn't expected. They thought they had the upper hand but evidently the Aurors were one step ahead of them.

Moments later, stunning spells and curses were flying across the room. Incantations were shouted, people were ducking and pushing and grabbing. Bellatrix, who had found her wand, swiftly moved around the room, dodging the stunning spells Aurors were firing at her. She shouted orders to the other Death Eaters, "THEY KNEW IT WAS A TRAP! SOMEONE MUST HAVE TOLD THEM! BUT NO MATTER, CURSE THEM ALL ANYWAY! WE STILL OUTNUMBER THEM!"

No one was sure how long this went on for. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. No matter how hard the Death Eaters fought, the Aurors never backed down. And no matter how hard the Aurors fought, the Death Eaters never backed down. They fought into the night but no one seemed to get hurt; all the curses were dodged and deflected.

Lucius decided it was time to go to the Ministry to find the Dark Lord. He made his way over to where Bellatrix was dueling with a timid-looking Auror who Lucius didn't recognize. He must have been a last minute replacement for McNaughton. But although he seemed nervous and scared, Lucius noticed, the young Auror was great at dueling. He was enough of a challenge to keep Bellatrix entertained for a while. Bella was laughing at the young Death Eater, sneering at him every time he attempted to curse her, but at the same time trying not to let her guard slip. Every time Bella taunted the young Auror, he seemed to fight back harder.

"Bella, I can see that you're having a lot of fun here," Lucius murmured to her, hoping the shouts and cries of the other Death Eaters and Aurors would drown out what he was about to say next. "But don't you think its time to go to the Ministry? We really don't want to keep the Dark Lord waiting."

"You're probably right." Bellatrix said. She smiled at the young Death Eater and said, "Its been fun dueling with you, foolish boy, but I have to be going now. _CRUCIO!_"

The young Auror didn't even have time to duck, or cringe in fear. He dropped to the floor and started screaming. Bellatrix grinned, pleased with herself.

"Lucius, stay down here a for a few minutes and make sure everything is going well." Bellatrix said.

Once Lucius was gone, she practically skipped toward the staircase that led upstairs where the PortKeys were hidden.

But there was trouble on the stairway.

James Potter stood at the top of the stairs, blocking her from getting to the second floor. She stopped at the fifth step and smiled up at him in a display of mock-joy.

"Why isn't it little James Potter!" Bellatrix cooed. "I haven't seen you in a while! Where have you been all this time? I'm going to have to ask you to move out of the way, James. I have to go upstairs."

James pointed his wand at her. Bellatrix sneered.

"Are you planning on fighting me?" Bellatrix laughed. "Oh, Potter, you don't stand a chance against me."

"Maybe not. But I guess we'll find out, won't we?" James said.

"You know, the Dark Lord sort of respects you. He thinks of you as a worthy opponent, he told me so." Bellatrix said, a grin creeping up on her face. She sounded like she was about to drop a huge bombshell. "But he also told me that some day, he's going to kill you like he killed your filthy half-blood son."

* * *

James didn't even remember deciding to attack Bellatrix Lestrange. He didn't plan it, he didn't say to himself, '_okay, I'm going to attack Bellatrix now.'_ He just heard her say something about his "filthy half-blood son" and his mind just exploded with rage. He lunged at her, every violent curse he ever heard of running across his mind, "_Cruciatus...Killing Curse...Cutting Curse...,"_ and he couldn't decide which one was horrible enough to use on her. He just wanted to make her suffer like he suffered for the past twelve years, make her scream like Lily screamed when they found out Harry was gone, make her beg for death like he sometimes secretly did.

Bellatrix fell back against the railing of the staircase when he pounced at her, but she regained her balance in time. She pushed him off and shouted, "_CRUCIO!_"

He jumped out of the way in time. The curse hit the wall behind him, leaving a scorch mark against the wood.

They started to duel and the entire time James was thinking, _I want her to suffer. I want her to feel the pain that I feel, or at least something _close_ to the pain that I feel. But all she cares about is Voldemort, and the only way she'd feel pain is if Voldemort is killed. The only way I can make her suffer the way that I do is to kill Voldemort..._

"I'm going to kill your master, you bitch!" James said. "I'm going to kill him like he killed my son!"

"You? Kill the Dark Lord?" Bellatrix cackled. "The idea of the Dark Lord being killed by _anybody_ is ridiculous in itself, but by_ you?_"

"Voldemort said it himself, didn't he? He said I'm a worthy opponent." James reminded her.

"A worthy opponent, yes, but not _that_ great." Bellatrix said.

"And besides, we know about the horcruxes." James said.

He didn't completely know what made him decide to tell her. Maybe it was just the way she smirked at him, unfazed by any of his curses, and unafraid of anything that he was trying to do. He wanted to see the smirk wiped off her face, he wanted to crush that triumphant look in her eyes. He wanted her to be afraid. He assumed that telling her they knew about the horcruxes would frighten her the most.

And he was right. She froze on spot like she'd been stunned and nearly dropped her wand.

"You - you know? That's impossible, you can't know." Bellatrix's eyes went wide.

"We knew about the horcruxes, we know they're at the Ministry, we know the PortKeys are upstairs and that you and Malfoy are planning on meeting Voldemort at the Department of Mysteries." James said, gloating a little, enjoying the fear that was entering her eyes. "We're going to find the horcruxes before he does, and we're going to destroy them. Then I'm going to kill him."

"KYRO!" Bellatrix turned away from James and yelled out into the fray. One of the Death Eaters turned and looked at her. "KYRO, COME OVER HERE AT ONCE!"

The Death Eater called Kyro ran over to the stairs and looked up at Bellatrix.

"Yes, Bella?" The Death Eater said.

James noticed Kyro's voice wasn't as deep as a normal person's voice. It was slightly higher in pitch and not completely developed. Also, he was shorter than the average person. James deduced that this Death Eater was one of the Junior Death Eaters Dumbledore told them about. According to Snape, the Death Eaters had been training kids to be Death Eaters. James had thought it was bullshit. Why would the Death Eaters want kids to join them? Were they _that_ crazy?

But James knew for sure now: the Junior Death Eaters were no joke. One of them was standing right in front of him, at the bottom of the stairs.

"Kyro, this Auror knows about the PortKeys. How do you think he found out?" Bellatrix asked.

"I don't know, Bella."

"Well, where are your roommates?" Bellatrix asked. "Who are they fighting right now?"

James realized he could have cursed Bellatrix while this exchange was happening, but he was too interested in hearing what they were talking about.

"I'm not sure. Its hard to tell who everyone is with all the masks on. But I can find them for you." Kyro said with an eager-to-please tone of voice.

"Good. You do that. And when you find them, tell them to find the PortKeys and bring them to me. I can't find them myself because I'm in the middle of a duel with this Auror." Bellatrix said. "Now, run along, Kyro." Kyro ran off into the fray again. Bellatrix suddenly turned around and yelled at James, "_CRUCIO!"_

James hadn't seen it coming. He let his guard slip. He dropped to his knees on the staircase and started to scream.

The pain was pressing in on him, coming down in horrible waves. He felt like he was being crushed or torn apart limb from limb. He knew he was screaming loudly, but he couldn't hear himself screaming because there was another sound drowning out his screams. The sound was coming from inside his head...

It was a soft, rhythmic thumping, like a hammer against cloth. It sounded like a heartbeat. But it wasn't James' heartbeat. It was someone else's. This person's heartbeat was pounding in his ears, drowning out the sound of his own screams. He could practically feel the heartbeat inside his head.

And then suddenly, he heard something inside his head telling him not to scream anymore. It was like a voice at the back of his mind, whispering, "_Don't scream, don't scream anymore."_ He felt like if he continued to scream, something really bad would happen. So he forced himself to stop screaming. He gritted his teeth together and started gasping, but he didn't scream.

"Why aren't you screaming, Potter?" Bellatrix asked. "I know you _want_ to scream...but are you trying to stop yourself from doing it? Perhaps because you don't want to give me the satisfaction of hearing you suffer?"

_That's not _exactly _it. I don't really _know_ why I stopped screaming. I just felt like I should,_ James thought as the pain intensified. He'd learned how to stop himself from screaming over the years; he'd started to get good at it. He gasped and arched his back and thought his head would explode from the pain, but he didn't scream.

"Alright, then, Potter. I'll just stand here and wait for you to scream. I won't go anywhere and I won't release the curse until you do." Bellatrix forgot all about meeting the Dark Lord as she leaned back against the wall and watched James suffer. Whenever she was torturing someone, she forgot about everything else. She grinned and looked down at James. "Come on, scream for me James. Scream so I can leave."

* * *

"Hurry up and find the key." Mile whispered in the dark.

"I'm looking for it."

"Look for it faster!" Mile said.

"I can't possibly look for it any faster." Harry replied, overturning boxes and pulling out shelves in search of the key. "I'm already looking as fast as I possibly can. It would be nice if _you_ would help me look."

"I'm already trying to pick the lock on this stupid trunk." Mile grumbled.

The room they were in was dark, dank and crammed with old filing cabinets and stacks of boxes. Sitting on the floor was a big wooden trunk with a lock over the opening. Mile was fiddling with the lock, twisting a pocketknife around inside of it, attempting to get it open. Meanwhile, Harry was searching high and low for the key that opened it.

"We've got to find it before Bellatrix comes up here and finds us." Mile said. "She's supposed to be meeting Voldemort at the Ministry soon, isn't she? She'll be coming up the stairs to get the PortKeys any minute now. I'm actually surprised she isn't up here yet."

"Something must have distracted her. Like the sight of someone bleeding." Harry said.

"Or someone in pain."

"Or someone bleeding as they're in pain."

Mile chuckled.

The moments stretched on. There were no sounds but Mile's frustrated sighs, the jiggling of the lock and the opening and closing of cabinet doors.

After minutes of searching, Harry finally said, "I've found it!"

Mile looked up at Harry to see him holding a long black key in his outstretched hand. Mile grabbed the key and shoved it in the lock. There was a series of _clicks_ and _clunks_ as the trunk popped open, revealing another trunk inside. That trunk popped open, and there was another one inside of that. The next trunk opened, and the next trunk opened, and finally the last trunk opened up to reveal a dark gaping hole.

Mile and Harry leaned over and looked inside.

* * *

"Come on, James! Scream for me." Bellatrix taunted. "Scream already."

James panted and clenched his fist, but refused to give in. He could not let himself scream. He didn't know why, but he had this strong feeling that he shouldn't scream. Intuition, maybe.

"I'm not leaving until you scream." Bellatrix said in a sing-song voice. "Just scream already..."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm going along with this." Mile said. "Its never been one of my priorities to anger Bellatrix and the Dark Lord, but look what I'm doing!"

"Its never been one of my priorities to nearly get myself killed, but look what _I'm_ doing." Harry said.

"What are you talking about? Its always been one of your priorities to almost get yourself killed. Its practically a hobby for you." Mile said. "As for me, I've always respected Bellatrix."

"I used to sort of respect Bellatrix too, but that was before I realized how crazy she is." Harry said. "Now let's just get on with it before she comes up here."

"I wonder what's keeping her?" Mile wondered out loud. "I thought she would have been up here by now."

* * *

"Scream, James, come on. You know the pain is horrible. You know you just want to scream." Bellatrix teased. "Its pointless to hold it back."

James squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to vomit from the unbearable pain that was washing over him. But he swore to himself that he wouldn't scream. Something bad would happen if he screamed. And he could still hear that rhythmic beating in his head. That heartbeat...

* * *

Mile and Harry lifted an unconscious Auror out of the depths of the trunk and lowered him onto the floor. The man had fair skin and brown hair, and appeared to be in his mid-thirties. Harry had tried to help the man escape from Lestrange Manor just a few days before. Harry watched as Bellatrix tortured the man, and he barely did anything to stop it. The guilt and sympathy for the man nearly ate Harry alive before he decided to help the man escape.

But before the man could make it past the front gate outside the manor, the guards caught him and dragged him back inside. Bellatrix suspected Harry had helped the man escape, and used the Cutting Curse on him as punishment. Harry's hand unconsciously drifted to his wrist where the scars still were.

"Is he breathing?" Harry whispered.

"I think so." Mile crouched down and put his hand below the man's nose. "Yeah, I think he's breathing...and he has a pulse."

"Let's wake him up." Harry said. "Hurry! Bellatrix should be coming soon..."

Mile shook the man awake.

* * *

"We can both leave, as soon as you scream for me." Bellatrix said. "I have to be going upstairs soon, but I'm not going to if you don't scream."

_Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream. Don't let her leave. Don't let her go upstairs,_ James thought. He wasn't sure why he was thinking it. The thoughts were coming from nowhere. They were irrational and random and didn't seem to make sense, but they were so strong that he believed it. He could not let Bellatrix leave, he could not let Bellatrix go upstairs. He had to keep her down here for as long as possible. So he clenched his teeth and forced himself not to scream.

* * *

"Who - who are you people?" McNaughton looked around blearily. He tried to sit up, but his arms felt so weak. "Where - where am I?"

"We're in a warehouse in London. There are loads of Aurors and Death Eaters downstairs. You were locked in a trunk but we're helping you escape now." Harry explained quickly. "Come on, stand up."

* * *

"Come on, Potter. Scream for me..." Bellatrix taunted.

James panted. _I can't scream. I can't let her go upstairs._

He could still hear the heartbeat inside of his head...

* * *

McNaughton looked at the boy kneeling in front of him. His eyes couldn't focus on one thing, everything looked all smudged and blurry, but he could make out certain shapes and colors. Although his vision was all smudgy, he could see that the boy in front of him was fair skinned with dark hair that stuck up all over his head. That messy hair was so familiar...

"James," McNaughton sighed in relief. "James, you found me.''

"I don't know who James is, but you need to get up." The boy said and grabbed McNaughton's wrists, trying to pull him up from the floor. Another person grabbed McNaughton under the armpits and lifted him up. "Come on, Bellatrix Lestrange should be coming up here soon."

"Come on, go run downstairs to the Aurors. They'll find you and take you home." The other person said to McNaughton. This person was taller, had a deeper voice, and wasn't recognizable to McNaughton. But the other boy, the one that had first spoken, he looked so much like James, McNaughton was so sure it had to be him.

"You're James." McNaughton said dizzily. The walls seemed to be spinning around in circles. "You are."

"I'm not James." The boy said. "But it doesn't matter, come on."

The two boys steered McNaughton in the direction of the door.

"Wait a minute." McNaughton said, looking at the boy who looked like James. "You're the one who tried to help me escape from the Death Eaters a few days ago."

"I knew it!" The older boy said. "I knew you did something stupid! So _that's_ why Bellatrix used the Cutting Curse on you!"

"Shut up, Mile." The boy who looked like James said. "Yeah, it was me. And now I'm helping you escape _again._"

McNaughton laughed at that, although he didn't know why. Everything was all fuzzy and spinny. He felt quite delirious, the stupidest things were funny to him. He briefly wondered if there was something wrong with him, before he started laughing again.

"Sshh!" The James-lookalike shushed him. "Someone'll hear you."

* * *

"James, doesn't it hurt? Don't you want to scream?" Bellatrix smiled. "Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you. Before we killed your son, we used the Cruciatus Curse on him."

That got James to start screaming.

* * *

"Come on..." Harry tugged on the Auror's arm, trying to pull him in the direction of the stairs. "We have to get downstairs so the other Aurors can find you."

Harry was just about to start dragging the Auror toward the stairs when Mile grabbed his arm.

"Stop. Do you hear that?" Mile asked.

Harry listened closely. There were lots of roars and shouts coming from the floor below, which was to be expected. After all, there was a battle going on. But what stood out to Harry was a sudden screaming coming from the stairwell. And then Bellatrix's voice.

* * *

"Thanks for finally screaming, sweetie. Now I can go!" Bellatrix laughed.

James gasped and pressed his head against the stairs, nearly blinded by the pain. Bellatrix released the curse, but James continued to scream out of anger.

* * *

There were footsteps coming from the stairs now, and Bellatrix's laughter was getting louder and louder.

"Bellatrix is coming!" Mile hissed. "Fuck! What do we do?"

"I don't know!" Harry said frantically. "She's going to come looking for the PortKeys, and I'm almost positive the PortKeys are in this room. She's going to catch us."

* * *

James lay on the stairs, barely conscious, not entirely knowing what was going on around him. He felt hands grabbing his shoulders, trying to lift him up. A voice saying worriedly, "Prongs, Prongs, come on, mate. Please, Prongs, please get up..."

But James couldn't get up. He was too focused on the heartbeat inside his head. The heartbeat had sped up and was now pounding faster than ever.

* * *

Harry tried to take calming breaths, tried to think of an idea on how to get out. But he couldn't calm himself down enough to think properly. His heart was jumping around inside his chest, he felt like it would burst through his ribcage.

"We could take the PortKeys..." Mile said.

"To the Ministry?" Harry said. "That's where Voldemort is."

"Well, we don't have any other options! Let's go!" Mile ran over to the other side of the room and grabbed a rusty can from the top of a cabinet. "I'm pretty sure this is a PortKey. Hurry! Grab on!"

Harry grabbed onto the PortKey and forced the Auror to do the same. He felt a tug behind his navel and suddenly he was spinning around and around in a blaze of shadows. The floor dropped out beneath his feet and the three of them disappeared from the warehouse just as Bellatrix entered the room.

* * *

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Its gone." Bellatrix said to Lucius as soon as she found him. "The PortKey, in the room where we locked the Auror in the trunk. The PortKey is gone. And so is the Auror."

"But how?" Lucius whispered. Behind him, an Auror shot a stunning spell in his direction. Lucius deflected it without even looking. "Who could have -"

"Harry." Bellatrix cut him off. "It had to have been Harry." Bellatrix looked behind her at the Death Eaters and Aurors that were still fighting and yelled, "KYRO!"

"Yes Bella?" The Junior Death Eater disengaged himself from a duel against two Aurors and ran over. "What is it?"

"Did you find your roommates?" Bellatrix asked.

"No, Mile and Harry seem to have disappeared." Kyro said loudly, catching the attention of a nearby Auror. "I can't find them anywhere."

"Keep your voice down!" Bellatrix hissed at Kyro. She quickly hexed the Auror that looked over when Kyro said 'Harry'. When the Auror fell to the ground, she said to Kyro so quietly that he had to strain his ears to hear her, "You can't go yelling things like that from the rooftops. Listen to me, Kyro. No one can know about Harry. Don't say his name around the Aurors, understand?"

"Yes." Kyro said.

"Also, I have new orders for you. There's a crate upstairs behind an old bookshelf. There's a PortKey shaped like a boot. Take the PortKey to the Ministry and look for Harry and Mile there. I think that's where they went. If you find them, enchant Harry's mask so he can't take it off. Then stun him and wait for us to find him."

"I thought you said only you and Lucius were allowed to go to the Ministry, and the rest of us were to stay here." Kyro said confusedly.

"Yes, but remember that Auror we were practicing curses on in the dungeons? His name is McNaughton. We had him locked in a trunk upstairs, and I think Harry set the Auror free. Harry, Mile and McNaughton are probably at the Ministry right now. Don't ask me any more questions, just take my word for it." Bellatrix said.

"Alright, Bella. I'll go find them." Kyro said before running off up the stairs.

"Lucius," Bellatrix said. "Tell the others to take the PortKeys or Disapparate to the Department of Mysteries. The Dark Lord said that only you and I are allowed to go there tonight, but I think the Dark Lord will change his mind about that when I tell him about McNaughton's escape, and that the Aurors know about the horcruxes."

"They do?" Lucius looked shocked. "How?"

"I don't know, but we have to tell the Dark Lord immediately." Bellatrix said. "Go tell the others to meet me at the Department of Mysteries in fifteen minutes."


	8. Light it up for you

**Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews, you guys. Keep them coming. :D And sorry about the cliffhangers, but sometimes they are necessary. I'm surprised that no one asked me what was up with James hearing a heartbeat in his head in the last chapter. I thought that might invoke some questions.

* * *

**

_All this feels strange and untrue_  
_ And I won't waste a minute without you_  
_ My bones ache, my skin feels cold_  
_ And I'm getting so tired and so old_  
_ The anger swells in my guts_  
_ And I won't feel these slices and cuts_

**

* * *

**

**At the warehouse**

The fight was just starting to get intense. Some of the Death Eaters were successfully stunned and fell over. A lot of the Aurors were hexed and came very close to being killed. The battle was reaching its climax when suddenly, all the Death Eaters Disapparated at once.

The warehouse fell into sudden silence. The Aurors all froze in place and looked at one another. Where had all the Death Eaters gone? Was this a trick?

"Where'd they go?" Paleski asked what everyone was thinking.

"Maybe they gave up?" Someone suggested.

"But why would they give up? Its not like they were losing." Remus said. "And how would they all know to Disapparate at the same time? Its like they planned it."

"Maybe they're going to the Ministry." James said coarsely from the corner of the room.

Everyone looked over at him. His face was pale and sweaty, he had smears of dirt on his neck. Sirius stood behind him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Why would they be going there? I thought only Bellatrix and Lucius were going there tonight." Paleski wondered.

"Because I kind of mentioned that we know about the horcruxes and that we're planning on finding and destroying them."

"YOU _WHAT_?" Scrimgeour roared furiously.

Scrimgeour nearly snapped his wand in half out of rage. Everyone around him literally backed up a couple of steps after his exclamation.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY WOULD YOU JEOPARDIZE EVERYTHING LIKE THAT?" Scrimgeour shouted.

"Because I felt like it." James shrugged, seemingly unfazed by Scrimgeour's rage.

"Who did you 'kind of mention' this to?" Scrimgeour demanded.

"Bellatrix Lestrange." James answered carelessly.

Scrimgeour groaned in frustration as a reply.

"What if they're there right now, getting the horcruxes? What if they move the horcruxes to a safer place because _you_ mentioned that we knew about them?" Scrimgeour seethed.

"They were going to move them to a safer place anyway. That was the whole point of Voldemort going there tonight; he wanted to change hiding spots. We could have went to the Ministry earlier and looked for them, but _no_, we just had to fight these god damn Death Eaters for no reason." James said.

"You said it yourself earlier, James. Dumbledore said not to go to the Ministry and Dumbledore is always right." Paleski reminded him.

"I don't really care what Dumbledore thinks right now. I don't give a fuck. At all." James said. "And for the record, I was _joking_ when I said Dumbledore didn't need to specify a reason. He never _does_ specify a reason, but it would be a pleasant change if he actually bothered to explain things for once. I don't know why we even listen to him."

"Dumbledore is the one who knows what he's doing! Dumbledore knows how to take down You-Know-Who! That's why we have to listen to Dumbledore! He can get us out of this mess!" Paleski yelled.

"Then why hasn't he done it yet?" James yelled back, losing his composure. "Yeah, Dumbledore is just a bloody savior for us all! The war has been going on for almost twenty years and Dumbledore has done _so much_ to stop it! That's why everyone's being tortured and kidnapped and we haven't got a clue how to stop it!"

"We _did_ have a clue. The horcruxes were the clue, but then you went and blew it!" Scrimgeour yelled.

"Shut up, Scrimgeour!" Sirius yelled. "You're not making this any better!"

"Stop yelling even more, Sirius, _you're_ not making this any better!" Remus said loudly but calmly. "Can everyone please settle down? Yelling at each other won't solve anything. What we need to do is go to the Ministry and find the horcruxes before Voldemort and the Death Eaters do."

"What we should have done from the start." James mumbled.

"James, drop it." Remus snapped. "Are we all agreed that we should go to the Ministry?"

There were mutters of "yeah" in reply.

"Good. Alright, Disapparate to the Department of Mysteries in 3, 2, 1..."

* * *

**Entrance to the Department of Mysteries**

When Harry landed on the floor of the Department of Mysteries, he hit his head rather hard. It didn't completely knock him unconscious but it made him suddenly remember something. Something that had been bothering him for a year now.

Before Rayden died, he said there was something he had to tell Harry and Mile. Something hugely important that he found out. He had told them that in the morning before he went off with the Death Eaters to practice curses, and promised to tell them what it was as soon as he came back. But he never did come back. Before Harry and Mile went to bed, Bellatrix came in their room to deliver the devastating news of Rayden's accidental death.

_What did Rayden have to tell me?,_ Harry thought as he pulled himself off the floor. _What could it have been?_

He looked around him. Mile was scrambling to his feet and the Auror was starting to get off the floor. They were in a round room with doors on all sides. Each door looked exactly the same, and had no labels on where they led.

"So this is the Department of Mysteries." Mile said.

"The Department of Mysteries..." The Auror said groggily. "What're we doing here? Who are you people?"

"We already told you: we're the people who are helping you escape from the Death Eaters." Mile said. "Only now we _all_ have to escape from the Death Eaters. By the way, what's your name?"

"Thomas. Thomas McNaughton." The Auror said.

"Well, McNaughton, you're an Auror, right? You must have been here in the Department of Mysteries before." Mile said.

"Only once or twice. The Unspeakables don't like to let us in, but sometimes they have no choice to." McNaughton mumbled. "I can barely see, its all blurry..."

Then suddenly McNaughton started giggling at nothing. The giggling turned into full blown laughter as he fell to his knees and clutched his side. After a few moments, he was positively howling with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Mile asked.

"Dunno!" McNaughton laughed some more.

"His head's probably all funny from being tortured by Bellatrix." Harry said. "It might wear off after a while..."

"James!" The Auror on the floor gasped through his laughter. "James, where are we?"

"Why do you keep calling me James? I don't know who that is." Harry said.

McNaughton nearly fell over laughing again.

"Alright, which one of these doors do we go through?" Harry asked. "I don't even know where we should go..."

"We should just get out of here. Leave the Ministry, get as far away as possible, change our names, live on the streets. It doesn't matter, we just need to get away." Mile said.

"We tried that before. It didn't work." Harry said. "They'll find us...you know they have a way."

Mile didn't say anything because he knew Harry was right.

"Look, we just have to pick a door. Any door. So we might as well go with this one..." Harry walked over and opened the first door he came to. Mile followed after him, practically dragging McNaughton along. "I really hope this doesn't lead somewhere awful."

* * *

**The Hall of Prophecies**

Kyro moved through the dark, breathing heavily, his eyes peeled for any signs of movement. He wove between the isles of towering shelves, the glowing blue orbs that sat on the shelves the only source of light in the vast room, aside from the light of his wand. His footsteps echoed loudly on the shiny black floor and his own shadow spooked him every time he turned around.

_They have to be here somewhere,_ Kyro thought darkly. _I'll find them._

Looking for Harry and Mile was never an easy task. Little did they know, Kyro had been assigned to find them on multiple occasions. Every time Harry tried to runaway and Mile reluctantly went with him, the Death Eaters made Kyro search for them. Harry and Mile never did find out that it had been him who found where they'd been hiding all those times. They didn't like him very much, but they trusted him. It didn't really bother Kyro that they didn't like him because truthfully, he didn't like them either. He didn't like Harry especially.

Harry was always so flippant towards the Death Eaters, so unenthusiastic about their noble cause. And although Harry was only a year younger than him, Kyro sometimes felt lifetimes older. Harry was always so naive in the things he said about the Dark Lord when none of the Death Eaters were around. He had all these ridiculous ideas, one of the most ridiculous being that the Dark Lord wasn't really a pureblood. Where would Harry get a stupid idea like that? So naive.

And Harry was always Rayden's favorite. Sure, Kyro didn't think Rayden had the greatest personality. Sometimes Rayden seemed a bit foolish and got on Kyro's nerves every now and then. But Kyro still looked up to Rayden like he was a brother. But Rayden never cared about Kyro the way he cared about Harry.

And it was just unbelievable that Harry was the son of the great Margret and Carlian Mendacium, two of the best Death Eaters there ever was. The Mendaciums had been killed by Aurors ten years ago, but any fool could tell they had been great people and loyal Death Eaters. Unlike their son.

Harry didn't even_ look_ like Marget and Carlian. Ever since Kyro started reading books about Death Eaters in the Lestrange Manor library, he'd been seeing pictures of the Mendaciums frequently. And the more he saw pictures of the Mendaciums, the more he saw how much Harry wasn't like them. Margret and Carlian both had tidy light colored hair, but Harry's hair was a dark chaotic mess. And both of the Mendaciums had long noses, but Harry's nose was more like a button nose. Also, Harry had a light scattering of freckles around his nose even though neither of the Mendaciums had freckles. But the biggest difference was the eyes. The Mendaciums had cold black eyes that reminded Kyro of tunnels. Harry's eyes were big and green and reminded Kyro of leaves when the sun hits them. Like a cat's eyes

Thinking of Harry's catlike eyes only annoyed Kyro even more. A few years ago Rayden referred to Harry as "Cat Eyes." He just kept calling Harry that for days.

_God, what would Rayden say if he were alive? He'd probably be really pissed at Harry for not following Bellatrix's directions. Rayden always liked Bellatrix._ Kyro thought. _It sucks that Rayden died...I always thought that if Rayden died it would be because of old age. I never thought he'd die from some stupid accident...but that's life, I guess._

Kyro missed Rayden so much it sometimes physically hurt. He tried not to show it because he had always pretended to be annoyed by Rayden when he was alive, and he didn't want Mile and Harry to know that he actually used to look up to Rayden. But sometimes he'd wake up in the morning expecting to see Rayden getting dressed for lessons, and every time he wasn't there it was like a slap in the face. Time healed nothing.

_Its Harry's fault,_ Kyro decided. _Its Harry's fault Rayden is dead. Rayden was killed because he'd been practicing curses and he accidentally cursed himself because he wasn't paying attention. The morning before Rayden left, he told Harry that there was something important he had to tell him later. Rayden was probably so focused on thinking about what he was going to say to Harry, he didn't see what he was doing. So that makes it Harry's fault._

_Its all Harry's fault._

Kyro's sudden rage at Harry made him determined to find him. He quickened his pace as he strode through the strange room of glowing orbs, needing to find Harry, needing to stun him so Bellatrix could find him. Kyro had the feeling Harry did something extremely bad now. Harry was always doing stupid things to make the Death Eaters mad, but Kyro felt like Harry had definitely crossed the line this time. He was in deep trouble now.

But even though Harry was always causing trouble for the Death Eaters, they eyed him more closely than they eyed any of the other Junior Death Eaters. Whenever they were at lessons or were practicing dueling, the Death Eaters watched Harry with rapt attention. Like he was a big deal or something.

Kyro never got the appeal of Harry. Harry just couldn't take anything seriously; he was always making jokes about things and it drove Kyro up the wall.

_I'll find you, Harry. And I'll make sure you pay._

_

* * *

_

**Entrance to the Department of Mysteries**

A dozen Aurors found themselves standing in a circular room with doors all around the walls. All of the Aurors that were fit to keep fighting had Apparated to the Department of Mysteries while the injured ones stayed behind.

"So now what do we do?" Paleski asked.

"We find the horcruxes." Remus said.

"How?" Paleski asked.

"Er - I don't know." Remus said. "Anyone have any ideas?"

"Why won't we split up? There's at least a dozen doors here. We can each go through one of them." Someone suggested.

"That's a brilliant idea." Sirius said with too much enthusiasm to be sincere. "Oh sure, let's all go wandering off on our own, despite the fact that Voldemort and all the Death Eaters are running around here somewhere."

"Well, what else can we do?" Takashi said. "There's no other options."

"We could split into groups." Kingsley said reasonably. "There's twelve of us. We could have four groups of three or three groups of four."

"I think we should go with four groups of three. That's the best option we've got." Scrimgeour said. "Everyone get into groups."

James naturally grouped up with Sirius and Remus. Once everyone else had gotten into groups, Scrimgeour said loudly, "Alright. Each group should pick a door to go through. One of the Unspeakables told me a few years back that most of the rooms are connected to each other. If the Death Eaters are here, we'll eventually run into them if we just keep making our way towards the center of the Department of Mysteries."

"What's at the center?" Flaherty asked. "How would we know when we've got there?"

"No one knows what's at the center except for the Unspeakables." Scrimgeour said. "But that's not the point. The point is, if each group goes in a different direction and keeps going through different rooms, we'll eventually get to the center, and we'll eventually find the Death Eaters. As you go through each room, try to look for anything that could be a horcrux in there. Dumbledore said it probably has something to do with the Hogwarts Houses. If you see any Death Eaters, stun them immediately, of course."

"What if we run into..._him_?" Flaherty whispered.

No one could think of what to say to that, and for the next few moments it was silent.

"Fight him." James suddenly said, breaking the silence.

"But what if we die?" Flaherty asked shakily.

"Then we die."

It was silent again.

"I don't want to die." Flaherty suddenly said.

I_ do,_ James was tempted to say. But did he mean it? He wasn't sure if he meant it. Sometimes he felt so fed up with this dark world that Voldemort practically owned now. Getting up each day and living was starting to be a chore. But did he genuinely want to die? He had Lily, the love of his life, the most wonderful woman in the entire world. He'd never want to leave her. He'd never want to make her go through life alone. And then he had Sirius and Remus, his brothers. They were what kept him going, his brothers and his wife. They were what made living worth the fight.

_No, I don't want to die._ James decided. _But I want the pain to die._

"Let's do it now." James said. "Sitting around here all day won't make it any easier. And Flaherty, you probably won't run into Voldemort, so don't stress about it too much. Alright?"

Flaherty nodded weakly.

"Alright, let's do this." James said. He turned to Sirius and Remus and asked, "What door do you reckon we should go through?"

Remus pointed to a random door, and the three of them headed toward it. The other Aurors did the same; all of them getting with their groups and choosing which doors to go through. As James grabbed the handle of the door and was about to pull it open he thought, _And I definitely need Voldemort to die._

_

* * *

_

**Somewhere in the Department of Mysteries**

"Any sign of the Dark Lord?" Lucius whispered to Bellatrix.

"No, I wasn't able to find him." Bellatrix said. "The Department of Mysteries is too big. We should have picked a specific place to meet him."

"Where are the other Death Eaters?" Lucius asked. "Did they arrive yet?"

"Yes, they already arrived here. I sent them off to find the Aurors." Bellatrix said.

"The Aurors are here?"

"Probably. They know the horcruxes are here so they must have already came here to search for them." Bellatrix said. "This is a disaster."

"Don't worry. The others will find the Aurors before they can find the horcruxes." Lucius said.

"Harry's here. And he might not have his mask on." Bellatrix said quietly.

Lucius couldn't think of anything to say. He knew that everything _was_ a disaster but having Bellatrix panic would not help anything.

* * *

**Somewhere in the Department of Mysteries  
**

"_You failed me...You failed me...You FAILED ME!"_

James' heart nearly leaped out of his chest. He spun around and raised his wand but saw no one. Not even Sirius or Remus. It was too dark.

"Who's there?" James called into the darkness. "Lumos!"

His wand emitted a burst of light, but the light could not penetrate the blackness. The darkness was too thick.

"_You...let...me..."_

The voice was distorted and sounded like it was coming from the end of a very long tunnel, or from the bottom of a well. It sounded like James was underwater and someone was screaming at him from above the surface. He couldn't tell what the voice sounded like. He wasn't sure if it was male or female, high or low, clear or raspy. He felt the words in his head more than heard them.

"_You let me...die..."_

He felt like the bricks that held up the world were crumbling down on top of him. There was this heavy weight in his chest to match the lump in his throat and he felt like he was going to start screaming. Everywhere he turned was darkness. The distorted voice was getting louder and clearer.

"_YOU LET THEM TAKE ME. YOU LET THEM KILL ME."_

"I'm sorry, Harry, I'm sorry." James fell to his knees and pressed his palms against his eyes like he always did whenever he cried. The tears were hot against his skin and each time he sobbed, it was like a knife in his throat. _"_I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"_YOU DIDN'T PROTECT ME!"_

"I know, I'm so sorry..."

"_YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH!"_

"I DID LOVE YOU ENOUGH! I STILL DO! I'LL NEVER STOP! I'M SORRY I COULDN'T PROTECT YOU! I WAS STUPID BUT I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE!" James yelled.

Suddenly the floor dropped out from underneath him. He felt himself falling downward and downward, spiraling into the blackness. The distorted voice yelled at him angrily from up above, but the farther he fell, the less he could hear the voice.

Just as he started to think he'd be falling forever, James suddenly he hit the floor and rolled onto his back. A bright light suddenly blinded him. He sat up and found himself in a different room, a room that had glowing green lanterns set into the stone walls. There were dark archways all around the room, leading to who-knows-where. James' heart was pounding and he felt like he was going to be sick. Sweat was dripping down his neck and face.

"Sirius...Remus..." James called out.

There was no reply.

_"Come over here..."_ A voice whispered.

James jumped and looked behind him. Just as he turned his head, something in the archway behind him moved. James stood up and raised his hand.

"Who's there?" James called.

"_Come on..."_ A voice whispered from inside the archway. "_Follow the sound of my voice."_

Throwing caution to the wind, James walked over to the archway and stepped inside. There was a great flash of purple light and suddenly the floor dropped out from beneath him again...

* * *

**Somewhere in the Department of Mysteries**

"Where's James?" Sirius asked worriedly.

He and Remus were standing in a room lined with mirrors. Their reflection looked different in each mirror: sometimes their hair was a different color, sometimes they were taller, sometimes they had a different skin tone. Neither of them understood the point of the mirrors, or had time to ponder it. Their best friend had vanished.

"He was right behind us when we went into that other room." Remus said.

"James is missing?" A deep voice startled them both. They both jumped in fright and raised their wands at the doorway instinctively, but the person who just entered the room was only their friend, Kingsley Shacklebolt. "Where did you last see him?"

"Kingsley, how did you find us?" Sirius asked. "And where's Paleski and Moody? They were in your group, weren't they?"

"Yes, but it seems that its very easy to get lost here in the Department of Mysteries." Kingsley said. "We were walking through this sort of tunnel, but when I came out at the other side, they weren't with me."

"Well, we went into this really dark room and then suddenly the floor disappeared and we landed here, somehow." Remus explained. "The room was really horrible. I kept hearing voices whispering things, and I couldn't even see where Sirius and James were."

"Its strange how you two ended up here in this room and yet James ended up somewhere else." Kingsley said. "I wonder why that is."

"Its a mystery. Its fitting, though, seeing as this is the _Department_ of Mysteries." Sirius said. "Who designed this bloody place?"

Remus was about to answer when there was suddenly a loud crash that made them all turn towards the doorway. It sounded like it was coming from far away, like from the end of a hallway, but it was still very loud.

"What was that!" Sirius yelled.

"Maybe it was Death Eaters." Kingsley said, raising his wand.

"We better go find out." Remus said.

* * *

**UH OH! CLIFFHANGERS!**

**The next chapter is when shit starts to hit the fan, you guys.**


	9. Let me tell you why

**Author's note: Thanks for reviewing the last chapter, guys. Please review this one too! And I hope you love the chapter because this is my personal favorite chapter so far, because there's humor in it. ;D**

**

* * *

**

_You're chasing the ghost of a good thing _  
_ Haunting yourself as the real thing _  
_ It's getting away from you again _  
_ While you're chasing ghosts_

* * *

_"Come on, James. Keep following my voice."_

"Who are you?" James called. "Why do you want me to follow you?"

James was in a dark tunnel somewhere in the Department of Mysteries. He could hear water dripping somewhere; every drop of water against the ground echoed off the stone walls. The air was cold and smelled like must. He didn't know how he came to be in that tunnel. He had just walked through an archway, saw a flash of purple light, and then he started falling. When he hit the ground, he found himself in the tunnel.

And the reason he walked through the archway in the first place was because he heard someone beckoning him towards it. But now he couldn't see that person. He could only hear their voice urging him to follow.

_"Follow the light."_ The person said, their voice echoing back to him from somewhere very far ahead. As soon as they said this, a big glowing orb of light appeared. It was golden and bright and although it was far away, it nearly blinded his eyes. "_Follow the light."_

The light started moving farther and farther down the tunnel.

"WAIT!" James yelled at it.

He started chasing after it, part of him feeling like an idiot for yelling at a ball of light. But the rest of him was eager to know who was talking to him. The faster he ran, the closer the ball of light got, and the more he could see the end of the tunnel. The end was just up ahead, only a few sprints away...the tunnel was leading into a bright room...

He ran into the room up ahead, relieved to be out of the dark tunnel. The room looked like a lot of the other rooms in the Department of Mysteries: there were lots of archways and doors leading to other rooms, torches set into the stone walls, and a dark Medieval rug in the middle of the floor.

Right in the middle of the room was the glowing orb of light, just hovering there as if waiting for him. Moments later, the orb of light transformed into a person.

James found himself staring at a Death Eater.

"Shit!" He yelled, raising his wand quickly. "You're a Death Eater! You tricked me!"

"Don't worry." The Death Eater said. But the voice wasn't as clear as a regular person's. It was strange and echoing, like it was coming from far away. The voice was definitely male, though, and it sounded very young for a Death Eater. Too young. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Are you one of the Junior Death Eaters?" James asked, starting to lower his wand. "You sound like you're only 17 or 18."

"I used to be one of the Junior Death Eaters, but not anymore." The Junior Death Eater, or _former_ Junior Death Eater, said. "I can take off the mask, if its frightening you."

"Its not _frightening_ me." James scoffed. "But take it off anyway."

The boy reached up and removed the mask, revealing the youthful face of a teenage boy behind it. He appeared to be seventeen or eighteen years old, with brown hair, brown eyes and a subtle smile on his lips.

"So you were the one that was telling me to follow you?" James asked.

"Yes, that was me."

"Why?" James asked. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"What for?" James asked. "I can't sit around and chat. I have to go find my friends, Sirius and Remus. Would you happen to know where they are?"

"I believe they're in the Self Perception room upstairs, at the moment. You can find them after I speak with you." The boy said.

"Were you that glowing ball of light I saw? How did you do that? Is that a sort of power you can develop?" James inquired. "I've never heard of anything like it."

"There are more important matters at hand. I have to tell you something." The boy said. "Its very important."

"Well, spit it out, then." James said impatiently.

"I can't tell you outright. That would be breaking the rules. I'm supposed to let you figure it out on your own because if I just tell you myself, it could ruin the balance of things."

"That makes no bloody sense. What rules are you talking about? Is it the Death Eaters' rules?" James asked. "And why can't you just tell me outright? You sound like Dumbledore!"

"Ah, Dumbledore." The boy chuckled. "I've always wanted to meet him."

"Well, maybe I could introduce you after this battle with the Death Eaters is over and we get out of here." James said.

"No, you can't introduce me. Maybe I'll meet him in the future, but it won't happen any time soon."

"Alright. Fine, then." James said. "Just tell me what you said you have to tell me!"

"Alright, alright." The boy muttered, shaking his head. "First off, once I'm done talking to you, go through the door on the right and up the staircase. Find the Room Of Fate. There you will find two of the horcruxes. They'll be difficult to find and destroying them will be even more difficult. But try not to take too long. After about an hour, Bellatrix Lestrange and a few others will come."

"How do you know all this?"

"Second, there's someone I want you to meet. He's a friend of mine."

"What's his name?"

"Third, don't attack him. I'm not sure if you'll even _want_ to attack him or not, because you're rather unpredictable, from what I've seen of you. But just _don't_ attack him, okay? Don't think its a trick, because its _not_ a trick. He is who he appears to be."

"If, at some point, you feel like actually explaining instead of giving me vague, unhelpful advice, you will let me know, won't you?"

"That's all I can tell you." The boy said.

"You're a great help." James said sarcastically. "That wasn't a complete waste of time at all. How do I know you're not just a Death Eater trying to trick me into going upstairs and getting killed? Why should I believe you about the horcruxes, or any of the other obscure, pointless things you said?"

"It was nice talking to you, James. I think we'll meet again sometime, although hopefully it won't be for a very long while." The boy said with a warm smile before turning and walking towards the door.

"Wait, you can't just leave without explaining anything!" James argued.

"Remember what I said, James." The boy said over his shoulder. He was halfway to the door when he turned around and added, "By the way, my name is Rayden."

Then he dissolved into a golden mist and vanished.

* * *

"I remember overhearing Bellatrix say something about the horcruxes before. I think they're supposed to have something to do with the Hogwarts Houses."

"Well, that's a lot of help, Harry. What do _we_ know about the Hogwarts Houses?"

"_I _know about the Hogwarts Houses, Mile. Its a little ridiculous that you don't. The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin."

"Well, why should _I _know anything about Hogwarts?" Mile said indignantly.

"Because everyone in Europe with a brain knows about Hogwarts." Harry said. "Can we just get back to looking for the horcrux?"

"_Why_ the bloody hell are we looking for this stupid horcrux, anyway?" Mile demanded. "I thought we were planning on leaving as soon as possible. Who decided we were going on a horcrux hunt?"

"I did." Harry said. "This isn't a democracy. This is a...Harry-ocracy."

"Oh, great." Mile rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm older and stronger. Therefore, I'm superior in every way. And _I_ say we get the hell out of here before the Death Eaters find us."

"And what would we do about _him_?" Harry pointed to McNaughton who was lying on the floor, giggling at the ceiling. "Just leave him here as we run like cowards?"

"No. We find the Aurors, dump him on them, _then_ run like cowards." Mile said. "Its a good plan."

"Mile, we have the chance to take down Voldemort. We can't just run away. Besides, the Death Eaters would find us if we tried to run. They always do." Harry said. "We'll never be safe, not as long as Voldemort is alive. That's why we have to find the horcruxes. There has to be at least one of them somewhere in this room. This seems to be where the Ministry throws all their unwanted junk. It would be a perfect hiding place. Now we just have to find something that resembles one of the Hogwarts houses. Although, that could take a while..."

"Maybe not as long as you might think." Mile said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, because there's a glass wall over there and behind it is a huge statue with a plaque that says 'Salazar Slytherin.'" Mile pointed.

Harry whipped his head around to see what Mile was pointing at. And, with a rush of excitement, he saw that Mile was right. There _was_ a statue of Salazar Slytherin behind a glass wall, all the way at the other side of the room.

"That could be a horcrux!" Harry said excitedly.

The two of them grabbed McNaughton by the arms and pulled him up from the floor. Dragging him along with them, they set off for the other side of the large room. The rest of the room was full of strange things: statues of angels and dragons and towering shelves full of random objects. Harry thought they would have been searching for hours before they found anything. But now they found something that could be the horcrux, right out in the open. It was easy.

But perhaps_ too_ easy.

"How do we get in there?" Harry stopped before the glass wall. The statue of Salazar Slytherin was right in front of him with nothing but a few inches of glass protecting it. The room behind the glass wall was too dark to see anything else besides the statue. Harry was tempted to press his face against the glass to see if there was anything else in there, but what if something jumped up against the glass? There could be anything in that room, lurking in the dark...or maybe Harry was just being childish. "We might have to break the glass."

"I'll go look for something to break it with." Mile said. "Watch him!" Mile pointed to McNaughton before running off towards the tall shelves.

"No, I was just going to leave him here while I go out for breakfast with Voldemort." Harry called after Mile sarcastically.

Harry looked back at the glass wall and stared at the statue of Salazar Slytherin. He really hoped it was a horcrux. What if they broke the glass and got inside, only to find out it wasn't a horcrux? How would they even _know_ if it was a horcrux or not? Its not like Voldemort would attach a sign to it that says_ "THIS IS A HORCRUX."_

And how would they destroy it if it were a horcrux? Do they just break it? Or was there something else they had to do?

The eyes of the statue were made of black marble but they seemed so _real_, with the way the light hit them. It seemed like the statue behind the glass were a person looking down at him. Without thinking about it, Harry raised his hand and touched the glass in front of the statue.

A sudden jolt of icy coldness nearly shook him out of his bones, and he felt like his hand had been zapped by lightning. Lights flickered inside the eyes of the statue and a harsh tinny sound filled his ears, sort of like a scream. It was horrible and terrifying and Harry would have yelled in fright if he had the strength to open his mouth. He wanted to pull his hand away but found that he couldn't.

Then suddenly, the feeling was gone and Harry was being pulled away from the glass. He quickly turned around and for one moment Harry had the irrational thought that the statue was standing behind him. But it was only Mile, one hand on Harry's shoulder and the other hand holding a crowbar.

Harry's heart was pounding so hard, he wouldn't be surprised if Mile could hear it.

"Merlin, Harry, why are you so jumpy all of a sudden?" Mile asked. "And why were you just standing there, touching the glass?"

"That's a horcrux. I know it is. It has to be." Harry said quickly with a slight tremor in his voice. "I can feel it."

Mile looked up at the statue and just stared at it for a few long moments.

"It _is_ creepy looking." Mile agreed. "Well, we might as well get on with this. Want to do the honors?"

Mile handed the crowbar over to Harry, who reluctantly took it.

"Where'd you find this?" Harry asked.

"On one of the shelves over there." Mile said. "I think it has magical properties. I hit a lamp with it, just for a test-run, you know, and the lamp nearly _exploded_. I didn't even hit it that hard, but the lamp still went shattering all over the place."

"I hope it does the same thing for this glass." Harry said.

He took a deep breath, raised the crowbar high over his head, and swung it as hard as he could.

The result was as loud as a bomb going off. The glass didn't even splinter or web, it just shattered as soon as the crowbar made contact. The fragments of glass rained down on all of their heads. McNaughton, who had been laying down on the floor deliriously, sat upright with a jolt and covered his face with his arms. Harry and Mile both closed their eyes and jumped back. Once the tinkling of glass hitting the floor stopped, they both opened their eyes and looked up.

One blow from the crowbar had completely knocked out the glass wall.

"Damn, that's one strong crowbar you got there, James." McNaughton said. "Must be impregnated with basilisk venom."

"Now what?" Harry asked, looking up at the statue. He really didn't want to touch it again. He looked at McNaughton and said, "McNaughton, are you sane enough in the head to tell me how to destroy this horcrux?" Harry asked.

"I think so." McNaughton said. "My brain keeps feeling all fuzzy, but at the moment I can think clearly...but I still can't see properly. S'all blurry..."

"Okay, well, we'll fix your eyesight later. First, how do I destroy this horcrux?"

"Fiendfyre could do it. Swords impregnated with basilisk venom, too." McNaughton said. "If that crowbar is impregnated with basilisk venom, it could do the trick."

Harry looked down at the crowbar curiously.

"Well, thanks." Harry said.

"No problem, James. Anytime." McNaughton giggled again and fell over.

"Well, his temporary sanity was good while it lasted." Mile looked down at McNaughton.

"I'm going to hit the statue with the crowbar and see what happens." Harry said.

"Wait," Mile grabbed his shoulder. "First, put your Death Eater mask back on. That way, if any of the Death Eaters come, we can just say we're retrieving the horcrux for the Dark Lord. I'll put mine on too."

Harry nodded in agreement. The both of them put on our masks.

"Alright, its show time." Mile said. "Now hit the horcrux."

Harry stepped forward near the statue. However, as soon as he did so, the floor rumbled violently and one by one all the torches around the walls started to go out, until the entire room was plunged into darkness.

"What the fuck?" Mile yelled. He raised his wand and said, "Lumos!"

His wand emitted enough light for him to see Harry's mask. Mile knew that if Harry wasn't wearing the mask, his face would have looked stunned.

"What just happened?" Harry whispered.

"WHO'S THERE?" A voice barked from somewhere at the other side of the room.

Mile and Harry quickly turned around. Standing in the doorway at the other side of the room were seven Aurors, all of them with their wands raised and lit up. The Aurors were quickly striding towards them.

"Shit." Mile mumbled.

* * *

After hearing the loud crash, Sirius, Remus and Kingsley ran through the door and into the hall. They didn't stop running there; they kept going and going, trying to find what could have made such a loud noise. Eventually they bumped into four other people: Paleski, Takashi, Flaherty and Scrimgeour.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, panting from running. "You guys heard that crash?"

"Yeah, we heard it." Flaherty said. "It came from the room at the end of this hall. We were just about to go there."

"Have you seen James?" Remus asked.

"No, we haven't." Paleski said. "Why? Did you lose him?"

"Yeah." Sirius admitted.

"That's not the priority right now. We have to get to that room." Scrimgeour interrupted.

_Oh, of course Scrimgeour doesn't care about finding James._ Sirius thought bitterly, but made no comment.

The seven Aurors continued to make their way down the hall. As they started to get closer to the end, the door to the room came into sight.

"Everyone, have your wands ready." Scrimgeour said. "We go in on three. One, two, three..."

Scrimgeour threw the door open. The room was pitch black except for the glow of someone's wand at the other side, where two people stood silhouetted by the wandlight. The six Aurors all lit their own wands and stepped forward.

"WHO'S THERE?" Scrimgeour barked, standing in front of the others.

The two people at the other side of the room turned around and faced the Aurors. With a jolt of fear and excitement, the Aurors realized the people were wearing Death Eater masks.

"Its Death Eaters! Stun them!" Paleski said.

"Not yet! Find out what they're doing in here." Flaherty said.

"Trying to get the horcrux back, obviously!" Paleski snapped.

"Quiet, all of you!" Scrimgeour hissed. Then he stepped forward, pointed his wand at one of the two Death Eaters and yelled, "WHO ARE YOU?"

"Who are _you_?" The Death Eater asked.

The Death Eater's voice shocked everyone. Instead of a deep, adult voice, they heard the voice of a kid. Yes, the Aurors knew about the Junior Death Eaters, but they'd assumed the Junior Death Eaters would be at least sixteen. The Death Eater that stood before them had to be somewhere between twelve and fourteen years old. But that was just way too young. How could the Death Eaters train somebody _that_ young to be one of them? The thought was ridiculous. And yet, it had to be true.

"Who am _I_?" Scrimgeour repeated, regaining his composure after being shocked by the Death Eater's voice. "I asked you first!"

"And I ignored you." The Junior Death Eater replied breezily."So, again, who are you? Are you an Auror?"

"Yes, I am an Auror!" Scrimgeour said indignantly. "I am Rufus Scrimgeour, head of the Auror Department."

"Yeah, that's great." The kid said carelessly. "Well, could you perhaps leave now? We were kind of in the middle of something."

Sirius was slightly in awe of this Junior Death Eater. The "_and I ignored you"_ wisecrack was truly genius, and sounded like something Sirius himself would have came up with. If it wasn't a Junior Death Eater they were dealing with, Sirius probably would have given the kid a high-five.

"In the middle of something?" Scrimgeour repeated incredulously. He didn't seem to know how to take this Junior Death Eater. He started to splutter, "You - you think you can just - _in the middle of something -_"

"What my always-articulate, eloquent colleague is trying to say -" Sirius stepped forward. "is that we can't just let you take the horcrux and go. You see, we're _Aurors,_ which means we're _against _Voldemort."

"Yes, we understand that." The other Junior Death Eater stepped forward. This Junior Death Eater had a deeper voice than the other, and sounded about sixteen or seventeen years old. "But, the thing is-"

"Hey Sirius!" A familiar voice said.

Sirius moved his wand, casting the light around in the dark, until he found who had spoken. Lying on the floor a few feet away from the Junior Death Eaters was Thomas McNaughton.

"McNaughton!" Scrimgeour said. "What are - how did you - are you alright? What -"

Sirius sighed at Scrimgeour's stammering and said to McNaughton, "Thomas, mate, what are you doing here? We thought Bellatrix Lestrange kidnapped you."

"She did, but then James rescued me." McNaughton smiled like a little kid.

"James?" Sirius' eyes widened in excitement and relief. "Where is he?"

"Right there!" McNaughton pointed at the younger Junior Death Eater.

Sirius frowned.

"That's not James." Sirius said.

"Yes it is!" McNaughton said.

"No, I'm not." The younger Junior Death Eater said.

"You were a few minutes ago, before you put the mask on." McNaughton said.

"No, I wasn't. I'm not James, I don't even know who that is."

"Yes you are!" McNaughton said.

"I'm not."

"You are!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"This is getting a little ridiculous." The younger Junior Death Eater said.

"What's going on here?" A shrill voice added to the conversation.

All heads turned toward another door at the corner of the room, where Bellatrix Lestrange and a handful of other Death Eaters stood in the doorway.

"Oh, good. Just what we need. More crazy people." The younger Junior Death Eater said.

* * *

**Another cliffhanger! Ahaha, sorry. But on the bright side, this chapter wasn't a complete angst-fest. There was some humor thrown in there for you. :D**

**I'll update again soon. Please review! I want to know what you think of this chapter, because I'm rather proud of how it came out. :]  
**


	10. I would die for you

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own Harry Potter. We all know. There's no need for a disclaimer.**

**Author's note: Hey guys! Sorry it took a few days to update. I'll probably update again tomorrow or the next day. Please review. :)**

**

* * *

**_I've spent all of my nights wide awake_  
_ Wishing for some kind of poison to take_  
_ So that my conscience would just take a break_  
_ I am so tired of the noise that it makes_

_I used to be so quick, so clever _  
_And I used to know myself much better _  
_Cause anyone can see that this is only permanent _  
_Temporary, it never hurts to try_

_

* * *

_"Shit." Mile let his breath out in a low whistle. "We're screwed."

"STUN THEM!" One of the Aurors shouted.

There were cries of "_STUPEFY!"_ all across the room as the Aurors turned their backs on Mile and Harry to face the Death Eaters that just arrived. Mile and Harry used this as an opportunity to get closer to the statue. They unlit their wands and ran across the darkness in the general direction of the statue. When Harry felt the crunch of broken glass beneath his feet, he knew he was right next to it.

When Harry turned back around to see what was happening with the Aurors, he saw that two of the Death Eaters had been successfully stunned while the others remained unharmed. However, the Aurors had all been disarmed. Bellatrix Lestrange now stood in front of them, sneering, as they were wandless and evidently terrified.

"What are the wittle Aurors doing here?" Bellatrix asked in an annoying baby voice. "Are the Aurors trying to get the horcrux? That's very, very bad. We can't have that, can we?"

"Bitch." One of the Aurors spat.

"What was that, dear cousin?" Bellatrix rounded on the Auror who'd spoken.

"She's distracted. Do it now_."_ Mile whispered. "Hurry, before she turns around..."

Harry was about to raise the crowbar and hit the horcrux, but Bellatrix suddenly whirled around and glared at them.

"And you two! What are you doing here?" Bellatrix asked accusingly.

Now everyone's eyes were on Mile and Harry again. Bellatrix, the Death Eaters and the Aurors were all staring at them suspiciously.

"_Think fast."_ Mile said.

"We were just trying to retrieve the horcrux for the Dark Lord." Harry said quickly.

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed when she recognized his voice.

"_You._" She said harshly. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you all throughout the battle at the warehouse. I sent Kyro after you."

"You didn't see me because I had the mask on." Harry said as if it should have been obvious.

"No, Kyro went around to make sure everyone was there, but you and Mile went unaccounted for." Bellatrix took a step forward. "And then the Auror went missing again. Tell me, why is it the Auror always escapes whenever nobody knows where you are?"

"Bad timing?" Harry suggested.

"Possibly." Bellatrix said slowly. "But I wonder...if you came in here to look for the horcrux, why are you holding a crowbar?"

Harry looked down at the crowbar like he just noticed he was holding it.

"That's a good question!" He said. "I have no idea. How _did_ this get in my hand? What am I even doing here? I can't remember. I think I've been Imperiused."

Mile groaned and resisted the urge to slap himself on the forehead.

"We - er - we found it, lying around over there...we used it to break the glass open so we could get the horcrux in there." Mile gestured around at the broken glass. "We only had the crowbar so we could break the glass."

"Yeah, that's it." Harry agreed.

"But how did you know _that's_ the horcrux?" Bellatrix asked.

"So you admit it?" Harry said. "That's the horcrux?"

"No, I did not admit it!" Bellatrix snapped, a little bit nervously. "Let me rephrase. I mean to say, what made you think that's the horcrux? Out of everything the horcrux could possibly be, why did you choose that?"

"We overheard one of the other Death Eaters saying the horcrux would have something to do with the Hogwarts houses." Mile said.

"Who was it?" Bellatrix demanded. "Which fool let themselves be overheard?"

"You." Harry answered, smirking behind his mask.

Bellatrix looked as if she'd been slapped.

"You're lying." She said angrily.

"I'm not. I really overheard you at Lestrange Manor." Harry said.

"But let's get back to the matter at hand, here!" Lucius Malfoy snapped from behind Bellatrix. "Why didn't you report to us before trying to retrieve the horcrux?"

"Because it would waste too much time if we were to report to you before coming for the horcrux." Mile said. "If we went and found you first, the horcrux could have been gone by the time we got back. We figured Voldemort's horcrux was more important than reporting to you."

Everyone in the room looked stunned at what he'd just said. Bellatrix, Lucius and the other Death Eaters stood in shock. Even the Aurors looked surprised.

"What?" Mile asked nervously.

"You..._dare._..speak his name?" Bellatrix said in a deadly whisper.

"What's the matter with you?" Harry asked. "Why'd you say his name?"

"_You _say his name all the time!" Mile said loudly.

"Yeah, but _not in front of the Death Eaters_!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Bellatrix demanded. "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE _REALLY_ DOING IN HERE! AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR SPEAKING HIS NAME, MILE, BELIEVE ME! JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET BACK TO LESTRANGE MANOR!"

While Bellatrix was shouting, the other Death Eaters had their attention on her. The Aurors noticed this; two of them had taken advantage of their lack of attention and were crouching down on the floor, looking for their wands. Meanwhile, Harry was looking around the huge room, trying to think of a plan. The light from the Death Eaters' wands illuminated the complicated web of rafters and beams on the ceiling. Harry traced the shape of the rafters with his eyes, calculating how they balanced each other out...

"I think I have a plan." Harry whispered to Mile. "Keep talking until I figure it out."

Mile nodded in silent agreement. Any plan of Harry's had to be ridiculous, dangerous and probably reckless. But there was just no other option. A stupid plan was better than no plan. So Mile took a deep breath and started talking.

"Actually, Bellatrix, I don't think you'll punish me." Mile said loudly. "Because I have no intention of ever going back to Lestrange Manor. You see, we've decided that we no longer want to be Death Eaters."

All of the Aurors looked slightly hopeful at this. Even the two Aurors on the floor who were searching for their wands looked up when he said this.

"And why is that?" Bellatrix asked in a voice that was trembling with suppressed rage.

"Well, there's a number of reasons." Mile said. "I don't think we're cut out to be Death Eaters. We just don't meet all the requirements."

"What do you mean you don't meet all the requirements?" Bellatrix was visibly furious now. Her hands were balled into fists.

"Well, to be a Death Eater, you have to be a heartless lunatic." Mile said. "And we just have too much...what's that called when you actually care about other people?"

"Compassion for others." Harry answered.

"Right. We have too much compassion for others, and I feel like that interferes with our ability to be heartless lunatics with the rest of you." Mile said, much to the Death Eaters' outrage.

"Also, I can't deal with this schedule. Getting up at 4 in the morning every day to run off and fight Aurors for some stupid reason? I can't do that." Harry added. "Its too bloody early in the morning to be running around with you lot. _Normal_ people are sleeping at this hour."

"Bella, why are we still listening to this nonsense?" Lucius hissed. "Let's just curse them and lock them up in the dungeons at my manor!"

"Lucius, I've heard about what goes on in your dungeons, and I really don't want to go there." Mile said. "So I'm going to have to decline the offer."

"It wasn't an offer, you insolent little-" Lucius started to raise his wand.

"NO, LUCIUS!" Bellatrix threw her arm up to stop him. "NOT YET!"

Harry looked over at the Aurors. One of the Aurors found his wand and was summoning the others' wands to him. Once he had all the wands in his hands, he quickly stood up and started passing the wands out to the others.

"And the biggest issue with being a Death Eater is the mask." Harry said. "Its so bloody thick, its practically suffocating me."

Harry started to reach for his mask but Bellatrix shouted, "NO, STOP! DON'T TAKE THE MASK OFF! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST DON'T TAKE OFF YOUR MASK!"

Harry stopped and stared at her quizzically. Why was she so desperate for him to keep his mask on?

"Don't be so melodramatic, Bella. Its just a mask. No need to make a big international thing about it." Harry said. "And besides, you can't give me anything I want. You_ know _what I want. You can't give it to me."

He raised his hand and Bellatrix's heart sank as she realized he was about to remove his mask.

But then, he _didn't_ take off the mask. Instead, he pointed his wand at the ceiling and shouted, "REDUCTO!"

* * *

_On one cold December morning when Harry was seven years old, Bellatrix asked him what he wanted for Christmas. She told him he could have anything he wanted. At the time, Harry thought Bellatrix was the nicest woman in the world. She just seemed so loving and caring, offering to get Harry whatever he wanted. It really seemed like Bellatrix loved him._

_If Harry had known better, he would have realized that it had nothing to do with love. Bellatrix didn't care about Harry's happiness. It was never about caring for him. It was always about keeping Harry naive. It was about making Harry think of Bellatrix as family, so that he'd never betray her. It was about keeping him in line and keeping him from questioning the fabric of his life._

_"What do you want for Christmas, Harry?" Bellatrix asked in an overly-polite voice. If Harry had been older and wiser, he would have noticed how fake she sounded. "What do you want more than anything?"_

_Harry had looked up into Bellatrix's black eyes and was too young to notice the coldness that resided there._

_"Parents." He answered._

* * *

Harry's Reductor curse hit one of the rafters, fracturing it. It split in half before crashing on top of another rafter, and one by one they all began to fall like dominoes. Bellatrix and the Death Eaters' had to tear their eyes away from the Junior Death Eaters in order to see what was happening. Looking up, they saw the beams holding up the ceiling start to fall over. They all jumped back as a section of the ceiling collapsed to the floor in front of them.

This had given the Aurors the time they needed to grab their wands and yell, "STUPEFY!" at as many Death Eaters as possible.

A few of the Death Eaters went rigid and hit the floor. Clouds of dust from the collapsed ceiling were settling in the air. Both the Aurors and Death Eaters were coughing and scrambling around fragments of the broken ceiling.

Bellatrix Lestrange was beyond furious.

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Bellatrix screamed, looking around for Harry and Mile but the clouds of dust and dirt were making it hard to see anything. "YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! HOW DARE YOU! YOU'VE USED THE REDUCTOR CURSE AGAINST ME! _I'M_ THE ONE WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT CURSE!"

"Then you probably shouldn't have taught me that one, Bella!" Harry jumped out at her.

"I'll hex you into oblivion, boy!" Bellatrix snarled.

"With what wand?" Harry smirked coldly.

Bellatrix felt around for her wand in alarm. It wasn't there. Then Harry pulled it out of his sleeve and held it in front of her.

"That's right, _I _have it!" Harry laughed as she made to grab for it. She ended up tripping over a fragment of the ceiling and landed on her knees.

"Stop wasting time!" Mile appeared next to Harry, grabbing his shoulder. "We can gloat later, right now we have to destroy the horcrux!"

And with that, Harry and Mile darted across the room towards the statue of Salazar Slytherin. Behind them, Bellatrix shouted, "SOMEBODY STUN THEM!"

But the Aurors were faster than the Death Eaters, who didn't seem to know what was happening. The Aurors managed to stun every Death Eater except for Lucius and Bellatrix. Lucius had ran in front of Bellatrix and put up an invisible shield to protect the two of them.

Things weren't looking good for Bellatrix. She didn't have a wand. All the other Death Eaters were stunned and lying on the floor, except for Lucius, who couldn't do anything because he was trying to hold up the invisible shield. Meanwhile, Harry and Mile were about to destroy the horcrux. What else could possibly go wrong?

At the other side of the room, Harry and Mile had reached the statue. Harry grabbed for the crowbar again.

"DON'T! DON'T DO IT!" Bellatrix shouted, but was unable to do anything because all the Aurors had their wands pointed at her. "I'M WARNING YOU! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THIS!"

"Oh, I'm so scared." Harry rolled his eyes before raising the crowbar high above his head and swinging it down onto the statue with all his might.

As soon as the crowbar hit, the statue cracked down the middle. Once it split open, there was a horrible screeching sound that rang throughout the entire room. Everyone cringed and ducked down, as if that would somehow stop the noise. If they were to listen closely, they'd hear that the screeching sounded almost human, like there had been a person trapped inside the statue.

And then it suddenly stopped. The room fell into silence. The statue crumbled apart and hit the floor. There was a few moments where no one said anything, and then:

"Whoops, did_ I_ do that?" Harry said. "I'm terribly sorry. You know how clumsy us filthy half-bloods can be."

* * *

James was starting to wonder how his life had ended up like this.

He was _James Potter. The_ James Potter. Quidditch star, Head Boy, object of every girl's affection, talented animagus, founder of the Marauders and creator of the Marauder's map. Back when he was a teenager (which felt like lifetimes ago), he had everything anyone could possibly want. Girls wanted him, guys wanted to be him. He had the best friends anyone could have, the best girlfriend who soon became the best wife, and then he had the perfect child. Dignified and a bit arrogant, he was at the top of the world.

Now look at him.

Childless, grieving, and a bit crazy, searching for horcruxes in a room in the Department of Mysteries because some random ex-Death Eater told him they'd be there. What happened to his dignity? What happened to his pompous attitude that used to drive the girls crazy? What happened to the James Potter who walked with his shoulders straight and his head up high, ready to take on anything?

How did life come to this?

He couldn't help but wonder all of these things as he looked for horcruxes that probably weren't even there.

The "Room of Fate" wasn't just a room. It was a huge hall with towering bookshelves, spiraling staircases that disappeared into the blackness up above, mirrors that showed different scenes, metal crates stacked on top of each other, containing things James couldn't even imagine. He'd been searching through the crates and shelves for only fifteen minutes, and he was already losing hope. He was on his hands and knees, dust all over his clothes, wondering if there was a god and if that god hated him.

Snape would have been ecstatic to see James in this condition.

James sighed, brushed himself off, and continued digging through the crates. Maybe the horcrux wasn't even there, but he had to try.

* * *

"Look what you've done." Bellatrix hissed, too angry to yell. "You've ruined everything...everything..."

"If only I cared." Harry replied lazily.

Harry was trying very hard to act like he didn't care, but the truth was, he did. He was terrified. His knees were shaking and he was wondering what Bellatrix would do now. Fortunately, she couldn't curse him just yet because the Aurors all had her at wand point and Lucius Malfoys' shield was the only thing protecting her.

She raised her shaking hands to her head and started pulling at her hair, like she usually did when she was angry.

"I can't believe this." She seethed. Then she ended up ripping a chunk of hair from her head, without even wincing. "You fool! You're insane for doing this to the Dark Lord! Insane!"

"You're calling _me_ insane?" Harry asked. "You do realize you just ripped your own hair out...?"

"You'll be punished for this, do you understand?" Bellatrix yelled.

"I understand that you're _crazy._" Harry said.

Bellatrix screamed angrily, pressing her hands against her head and rocking back and forth. Harry took an uneasy step back. Bellatrix was seriously unhinged now.

"Let's get out of here!" Mile grabbed Harry's arm and started pulling him towards the door. "Hurry!"

"Let's just arrest her already!" Scrimgeour said. "What are we waiting for?"

"Well, we can't do anything until Malfoy drops the shield!" Sirius reminded him. He looked at Lucius and said, "Come on, Malfoy, you bloody idiot! We're going to arrest you at some point, you can't keep hold of that shield forever! Surrender now!"

Lucius noticed that Harry and Mile had just run through the door. They'd escaped. And the horcrux was destroyed.

He and Bellatrix were cornered. There was no way out of this. Sensing defeat, he let go of the invisible shield that was the only thing protecting himself and Bellatrix and, with the few scraps of dignity he had left, let the Aurors stun them.

Once Lucius and Bellatrix went rigid and hit the floor, the Aurors all sighed in relief and stared around in amazement at what had happened to the ceiling.

"A _kid_ did this." Scrimgeour said, gesturing towards the broken sections of ceiling that were lying in heaps on the floor. "A bloody_ child._"

"I know." Sirius said, sounding impressed and amused. "Here we were, thinking those two Junior Death Eaters were trying to get the horcrux back to Voldemort, but they were actually trying to destroy it. And one of them was very disrespectful to you, Scrimgeour...me and that kid would get along great."

"Hey!" A voice cried. The Aurors all looked down and saw McNaughton kneeling on the floor, dust all over his face. "Where'd James go?"

Everyone ignored him.

"Well, the horcrux is destroyed and we stunned half the Death Eaters." Remus said. "Everything went better than expected. Now let's get these Death Eaters behind bars. Everyone grab onto a Death Eater and sidelong Apparate with them to Azkaban. Oh, and I'll Apparate with McNaughton. We can't forget about him."

Everyone did as Remus said, each Auror kneeling down and grabbing the wrist of a Death Eater.

"On three." Remus said. "One, two, three..."

Everyone closed their eyes and attempted to sidelong Apparate to Azkaban.

But nothing happened.

"What...why haven't we all Apparated?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"The wards are preventing us from Apparating." Scrimgeour said. "But why is that? We were able to Apparate here earlier."

"But earlier we Apparated to the _entrance_, not to the middle. Maybe you can only Apparate and Disapparate from the entrance of the Department of Mysteries. The wards could have it so you aren't able to leave or enter unless you're at the entrance." Kingsley said. "We might have to make our way back there before we can take the Death Eaters to Azkaban."

"We have to go _all the way_ back to the entrance with this lot," Sirius gestured towards the Death Eaters' lying on the floor. "before we can take them to Azkaban? This is ridiculous. I've never really _carried_ an unconscious Death Eater before, but I'm willing to bet they are heavy."

"We're just going to have to bind their bodies and levitate them." Kingsley said.

The Aurors each chose a Death Eater to bind and levitate, and pretty soon they were all marching towards the door, with the Death Eaters' bobbing up and down in the air before them. Sirius was levitating Lucius and Remus ended up levitating Bellatrix.

"Its been a pretty successful night, am I right, Moony? Bella-bitch Lestrange stunned bound, and levitating in midair at the hands of a 'filthy half-breed.' She better hope she never wakes up, because she'll die of shame the second she does." Sirius grinned. "If only we knew where James went..."

"He'll turn up." Remus said, sounding more confident than he felt.

Sirius and Remus started to chat idly, trying to discuss anything that didn't relate to the war. As the group of Aurors made their way through corridors and rooms, trying to make their way back to the entrance, Sirius and Remus eventually fell behind, too consumed in their conversation to notice that the others were walking much faster than they were.

"Hey," Sirius said suddenly. "The others are pretty far ahead..."

In the darkness, Sirius could barely make out their silhouettes up ahead.

"Oi! Wait up!" Sirius yelled.

None of the others seemed to hear him.

And then suddenly, in the dull light of the lanterns on the stone walls, Remus saw Bellatrix's eyes open.

"Oh no!" Remus said. "Sirius, she's awake."

"Just stun her again. She's all tied up, she can't stop you." Sirius said.

But Remus had stopped walking. At the other side of the corridor, there was a wide window that showed the night sky outside. The clouds that had been covering the moon drifted away, letting the moonlight flood through the window and shine on Remus' face.

Remus fell to his knees, dropping his wand, along with Bellatrix. When she hit the floor, she started to roll around, trying to break through the ropes that bound her.

Remus lay flat on his back, twitching and convulsing, his back arching off the floor.

"No," Sirius' face went white. "Not tonight, not tonight...how could it be tonight?"

Sirius dropped to his knees and grabbed Remus' hand, his mind racing with panic. How could they have forgotten there was a full moon tonight? Had they been so consumed with the mission that they forgot all about Remus' condition? Sirius was terrified; he'd never tried to help Remus with his transformation alone before. James had always been there.

But as Sirius was kneeling beside Remus, Bellatrix broke free of the binds and lunged at him. Caught off guard, Sirius fell over and rolled onto his back. Bellatrix climbed across him and grabbed Remus' fallen wand. Then she jumped to her feet, cackled hysterically, and took off running down the corridor, in the direction they just came from.

"Shit! She got away! Shit!" Sirius was torn between wanting to chase after Bellatrix and wanting to help his friend. His friendship with Remus eventually won him over. He grabbed Remus' shoulders and tried to hold him steady as he thrashed around on the floor, screaming in pain. And he waited out the minutes until the screams turned into howls before transforming into a dog.

* * *

"Mile! Mile! Where'd you go!"

Harry panted and leaned over the railing, desperately looking to see where Mile had gone. After destroying the horcrux and taunting Bellatrix, Harry and Mile had ran from the room and kept running down the hall until they found a hidden staircase. Harry ran up the stairs and had just reached when he realized Mile was no longer behind him.

"Mile!" Harry shouted down the stairs. "Mile, come on, where are you?"

He waited for almost two minutes, the blood rushing in his ears and his heart jumping around in his chest, until he realized Mile wasn't going to appear. Worried, more terrified than ever before and now alone, Harry continued running, not even sure where he was running to.

Was he looking for more horcruxes? Was he trying to find Mile? Was he trying to find a way out of the Ministry? Or was he just blindly running in circles with no plan for what to do next?

He didn't even know for sure if there were more horcruxes hidden at the Ministry. And how could he possibly find Mile again in this huge labyrinth known as the Department of Mysteries? But the biggest issue of all: even if he found a way out of the Ministry and escaped to Muggle London, what would he do then? Live on the streets, waiting for the Death Eaters to find him again? He could never truly escape from them, he'd never really be safe. They'd always find him. Always.

So he decided that the only thing he could do was try to find more horcruxes. But where to start? He didn't even know if there _was_ more. If there did happen to be more horcruxes hidden in the Department of Mysteries, where would he start? He doubted the other horcruxes would be as easy to find as the last one had been.

He continued wandering through the corridors, his mind stricken with panic, until he came across a door with the words "Room of Fate" written across the top.

Thinking '_why not?'_ he decided to start his search for other horcruxes in there. He opened the door and stepped inside, briefly wondering why they called it the "Room of Fate" and if that would be a good or a bad thing.

* * *

**Somewhat of a cliffhanger. Don't kill me. **


	11. So let me light up the sky

**Author's note: Sorry for taking so long, you guys! But this chapter will have been worth the wait, I promise. ;D Also, I couldn't mention this to you earlier because it would have been a spoiler, but in this story, Harry looks more like Lily than he does in canon. He still looks like James but he also looks like Lily. There's a reason for it that will be explained soon.  
**

_**

* * *

**Give me a reason to believe that you're gone_  
_ I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong_  
_ Moonlight on the soft brown earth_  
_ It leads me to where you lay_  
_ They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

* * *

"I've got you cornered at last, Harry."

Kyro pressed the tip of his wand against Harry's neck, rage pulsing through his veins. '_Its all your fault that Rayden's dead. Its all your fault. All your fault',_ he thought repeatedly. _'All your fault._' He laughed maniacally at the thought of Bellatrix finally doing something about Harry's bad behavior. Now all Kyro had to do was stun Harry and take him to Bellatrix so Harry could be punished severely and Kyro would be rewarded. It would be easy to stun and capture Harry now that Kyro had him at wand point.

"But before I hand you over to Bella, I want to see how scared you look." Kyro said savagely. "I want to see fear in your eyes, for once in your life."

Kyro reached up and ripped the mask off Harry's face, eager to see if Harry was frightened.

But it wasn't Harry.

It was Mile.

Smirking at him.

"FUCK!" Kyro raged. "WHERE'S HARRY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WEREN'T HIM?"

"I was going to tell you that I'm Mile, but hearing you say something as stupid as '_I want to see fear in your eyes'_ was just too funny." Mile laughed. "I wanted to let you keep talking for a while, because it was really amusing -"

Mile was cut off mid-sentence when Kyro suddenly hit him with a curse that blasted him into the wall. Mile bashed his head off the stone and fell to the floor, blood leaking out of his sleeves and onto the floor. Kyro stomped down hard on Mile's hand until he heard the crunch of bones. Mile cried out in pain and tried to grab his wand, but Kyro got it before he did.

"Tell me where Harry is." Kyro hissed through clenched teeth. "Tell me."

"What curse did you just use on me?" Mile spat blood out of his mouth. He was shocked and shaking, having never expected that Kyro would ever use Dark Magic against him.

"The Cutting Curse." Kyro said, twirling Mile's wand around in his hands. "Were you paying attention when Bella told us about the curse?"

Mile didn't answer.

"Were you?" Kyro demanded. "Answer me."

Kyro stepped on Mile's hand again, shattering the bones further and making Mile's back arch off the floor as he screamed.

"Barely." Mile mumbled.

"Well, I'll have you know that the Cutting Curse is a particularly cruel and slow method of torture. The depth of the cuts varies, depending on the caster's desire. There can be deep slices," Kyro made a sudden slashing movement with his wand and Mile screamed in pain again. "like I just did to you just now. Or there can be light scratches..." Kyro pressed the tip of his wand against Mile's wrist and dragged it down the length of his arm, leaving a thin cut against the pale flesh. "Sometimes the victim will recover, if the cuts aren't too deep. But other times the victim can bleed to death."

Mile sucked in a sharp breath of pain and squeezed his eyes shut, resisting the urge to scream again. The searing pain from the cuts in his arms made his head feel like it was going to explode. He could barely breathe through the pain.

"Yes, it hurts. Doesn't it, Mile?" Kyro grinned cruelly and looked uncannily like Bellatrix for a moment.

"You've gone insane." Mile said.

Kyro stomped on Mile's chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"You can't talk to me like that anymore." Kyro spat in Mile's face. "You've treated me like dirt for years and I've put up with it. Rayden had been the only thing stopping me from telling Bellatrix about all the trouble you and Harry get up to. But Rayden's dead now, and its Harry's fault somehow, I just know it is. And now Bellatrix is angry at the both of you for something you've done. I hope she punishes you severely. I hope the Dark Lord hears of it. I'll be rewarded for capturing you. But first," Kyro narrowed his eyes and increased the pressure of his foot on Mile's ribs. "Where. is. _Harry_?"

* * *

_Now what am I supposed to do?,_ Harry thought hopelessly.

He stood on the second story of a colossal room. Different staircases all around him disappeared up into the darkness, and if he looked over the balcony to see the floor below him, he could see the amazingly tall bookshelves that reached all the way up into the darkness of the ceiling. There were mirrors and stacks of crate left around in random places, like somebody had forgotten to put them in their correct place. Each of his soft footsteps echoed, making him feel like he had to be careful or someone would hear him, although he was seemingly alone in the room.

_The horcrux could be _anywhere_ in the Department of Mysteries. If there _is_ another horcrux, anyway._ Harry thought pessimistically. _And if it did happen to be here in this room, where would it be? Where should I even start?_

He tiptoed down one of the spiraling staircases to the floor below and found himself wandering through the huge isles between the bookshelves. The books on the shelves were huge and ancient with yellowed pages, their titles lost under all the dust. But books weren't the only things on the shelves. There were old lamps and cauldrons and strange objects Harry couldn't even identify. He wandered around aimlessly for at least twenty minutes before he started to feel horribly depressed. He dropped to his knees on the floor, feeling like the entire world was just pressing down on him.

He'll never find the horcrux. Voldemort will never be defeated and he'll win, as usual. And Harry will lose. Alone forever. Doomed to wander throughout the Department of Mysteries with nowhere else to go.

The depression was just eating away at him, making him feel like he literally could not stand up. Why was he feeling so hopeless all of a sudden? Where was this coming from?

As if by fate, he looked up at one of the shelves and saw the Diadem of Ravenclaw.

He knew it was the Diadem of Ravenclaw because he'd seen pictures of it in a book before. It was believed to be hopelessly lost forever, kind of how Harry was feeling at the moment. But there it was, sitting on a shelf. Maybe it was just a replica? There was only one way to find out.

Feeling as if there were shackles holding him down, he struggled to stand up and trudged over to the shelf. The moment he touched the Diadem, he felt this horrible sensation like electricity jolt through him, and a coldness that pried open his soul and sank into it...

With a startled gasp he dropped the diadem. It hit the floor with a loud clatter that echoed through the room.

_That has to be a horcrux,_ Harry thought. _It feels exactly how the other horcrux did. Cold and dark and evil..._

But now what? What could he use to destroy it? He was about to try to smash it open when he heard an unfamiliar male voice behind him.

"Who are you?"

Harry slowly turned around and saw someone standing a few yards away with their wand raised.

Harry said the only thing he could think to say: "Who are _you?_"

The man almost dropped his wand.

"You're a Death Eater...but you sound so young." The man sounded shocked.

"I get that a lot." Harry said.

How come every time Harry tries to destroy a horcrux, some Aurors show up and interrupt? It was like fate or something.

* * *

James could not find the will to stun the Death Eater in front of him.

It was only a kid. That was a _child_ behind the mask. How could James possibly stun a child? How could the Death Eaters be sick and twisted enough to train somebody as young as twelve or thirteen years old to be one of them? It was beyond evil. It was the one of the most horrible things James had ever heard.

Maybe that was Voldemort's plan. He often used people's good morals to manipulate them. He must have known that the Aurors would never want to attack a child. By having children fight the Aurors, the Death Eaters would have an advantage because none of the Aurors would want to fight back. But who _would _want to fight back? Who could find it in themselves to fight a kid?

But James had no other option. The kid has obviously been brainwashed to the point of no return by the Death Eaters. They probably taught him all kinds of Dark Magic and evil beliefs. If James didn't do something, this Junior Death Eater could attack him first.

He took a step forward without really knowing why, and instantly felt this heavy weight knock into him. It was like all of the horrible thoughts that have been plaguing the corners of his mind for years suddenly came to the surface. There was this sudden feeling of hopelessness he couldn't trace and he briefly wondered if the Junior Death Eater had cursed him.

James was just about to go against his morals and stun the boy, but then he saw that the boy had sunk down to the floor. He rested his head against one of the shelves behind him and appeared to be looking up at the darkness above, but James couldn't be entirely sure since the boy's eyes were hidden behind the mask.

Then James noticed the Diadem of Ravenclaw lying on the floor. A tiny spark of hope ignited inside of him, despite the depression and sense of hopelessness. Could this be a horcrux?

"Is that a horcrux?" James demanded, looking down at the Junior Death Eater.

"Yes." The boy said hoarsely.

James was genuinely surprised by the boy's honesty.

"Do you know how to destroy it?" The boy asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"Yes." James said.

"Then do it."

The Junior Death Eater picked up the horcrux and seemed so struggle not to drop it as he handed it over to James. When James took it in his own hands he understood why. The moment the diadem made contact with his skin, there was a horrible coldness that sunk down into his bones. And then he was absolutely sure: it was a horcrux.

"Are you really a Death Eater?" James asked curiously.

"Technically." The boy said.

"Then why did you just hand me the horcrux?"

"Because I want someone to defeat Voldemort." The boy's voice sounded weak and drained, like he barely had the energy to speak. James wondered if the horcrux had anything to do with it.

"Why would you want Voldemort to be defeated?" James asked, genuinely interested. The boy was a Death Eater, after all. Surely most Death Eaters don't _want_ Voldemort to die.

"Because I'm not an evil lunatic."

James thought about this for a moment. Then he shrugged and said, "Good enough for me."

James knew what he was going to do with the horcrux. He didn't have anything impregnated with basilisk venom with him at the moment so he couldn't destroy it himself, but he knew who _could_ destroy it. He made his way towards a tall black cabinet he'd found earlier, opened it up, and put the horcrux inside of it. Then he took out his wand and muttered, "_Flagrate"_ before writing "Albus Dumbledore" over the cabinet door with the tip of his wand. The letters burned for a moment before fading away.

James opened the cabinet again. The horcrux was gone. He sighed in relief.

"What did you just do?" The Junior Death Eater asked, slowly standing up. His voice was stronger than it had been a few moments ago, now that the horcrux was gone. "Where'd the horcrux go?"

"I sent it away." James said. "That's a Vanishing Cabinet."

"You sent it to Albus Dumbledore?" The Junior Death Eater asked.

"How'd you know that?"

"Because I saw you write 'Albus Dumbledore' against the wood." The Junior Death Eater answered.

"Oh. Right." James said.

Would this kid go and tell the other Death Eaters that James had found the horcrux and sent it to Dumbledore? And if he did tell, would it matter? If the Vanishing Cabinet worked, and it seemed like it did when he tried it earlier, then Dumbledore should have gotten the horcrux immediately. The Death Eaters wouldn't have time to try and get it back. And how _could_ they get it back? Voldemort himself was afraid of Dumbledore. Surely the Death Eaters wouldn't try to fight Dumbledore.

But maybe the kid wouldn't tell the others. He seemed genuine when he said he wanted Voldemort to be defeated. Maybe he didn't even want to be a Junior Death Eater. They probably forced him into it.

"How did you end up as a Junior Death Eater?" James asked. "Did they force you into it?"

"I think I was born into it."

"Were your parents Death Eaters then?" James asked.

"Yes." The boy answered, not very proudly.

"What are their names?"

"Carlian and Margret Mendacium." The boy answered.

"Carlian and Margret Mendacium...they're dead, aren't they? They died more than ten years ago." James said a bit insensitively. It was hard for him to sound sympathetic to the boy about his parents' deaths because those people had been evil murderers when they were alive. "You don't _have_ to be a Death Eater just because they were. I'm an Auror and you could help us. We could help you."

"No one can help me." The boy replied. "But I'll help you. Is there another horcrux hidden here somewhere?"

"I think there's another one in this room somewhere." James said. "God damn, this room is huge. Voldemort is good at finding hiding spots. He must have won at Hide and Seek all the time when he was a kid."

"I can't imagine Voldemort as a kid."

"Me neither." James said. "Unless he was like that kid from the Bad Seed that killed everyone."

"What's the Bad Seed?"

"Its a muggle movie where a crazy little girl murders loads of people."

"Sounds like Voldemort. Except for the girl part." The Junior Death Eater said.

James was thoroughly surprised that the kid didn't say anything horrible about muggles.

"Actually," the boy said suddenly. "Voldemort _could_ be a girl and we'd never know."

James looked at the mask that hid the boy's face, wondering what he looked like behind it.

"That's a scarily good point." James said.

James was about to get back to more important topic of horcruxes when suddenly a door burst open up above. He and the Junior Death Eater both whirled around and saw none other than Bellatrix Lestrange entering the room.

"Oh, great." James and the Junior Death Eater groaned simultaneously.

* * *

Sirius' tore after Remus at full speed, running without knowing where they were heading. Remus crashed into some shelves, knocked over a row of jars and jumped all the way down a flight of stairs without stopping. Sirius had chased after Remus tons of times before, but never somewhere like the Department of Mysteries.

And worst of all, _Bellatrix had escaped._ Where was she headed now? Was she returning to her master or was she going after those two kids? Somewhere in his mind, in one of the parts where he was still human, he was slightly worried about those two kids. Sure, they were Junior Death Eaters but they were only _kids_. And by the way they were resisting Bellatrix, they didn't seem to be _bad_ kids either. If he didn't have Remus to worry about, he probably would have went looking for those kids. Made sure Bellatrix wasn't murdering them...

* * *

"Gotcha." Bellatrix grinned.

She toyed around with her wand as she sauntered across the room, running it down the side of her face and twirling it in her hands, a spooky grin on her face that unsettled him. However, James stared back at her unflinchingly, refusing to show fear. But then he noticed something that made his eyes widen. She was holding _Remus' _wand.

Bellatrix followed his worried gaze and looked down at her wand. Then she laughed and said, "Oh, so you recognize the wand. Yes, it belongs to your filthy halfbreed friend."

"And _you_," Bellatrix looked at the Junior Death Eater that stood beside James. "are going to be punished."

James noticed that the boy started rubbing his arm when she said this.

"The Dark Lord will be here soon. I'm only going to ask you once." Bellatrix said. "Where is the horcrux?"

"What makes you think I'd tell you?" James snorted. "You're dumber than I remembered."

"_Again,_" Bellatrix said loudly. "Where is the horcrux?"

"You just asked twice. You said you'd only ask once." The Junior Death Eater said, much to James' amusement.

"Keep testing me, boy." Bellatrix said warningly. "If the Dark Lord doesn't get the rest of his horcruxes back, there's going to be hell to pay."

"The _rest_ of his horcruxes?" James asked. "So there _are_ more horcruxes?"

Bellatrix froze, horror written across her face as she realized her mistake.

"You're just all about slip-ups these days, Bella." The Junior Death Eater said. "Remember that time you accidentally mentioned that I'm a half-blood? That was pretty foolish, Bella. You need to stop doing that."

"I thought your parents were Death Eaters?" James looked at him.

"So did I." The boy answered.

"Enough of this chatter!" Bellatrix snapped. She threw a sharp glare at the Junior Death Eater and shouted, "I demand to know where the horcrux is right now. You're in enough trouble as it is, boy, so you had better start answering me!"

"What makes you think its gone?" James asked. "It could still be here in the room."

"If it was still here, I'd be able to feel it! The Dark Mark on a Death Eater's wrist activates a sort of flare inside the horcrux that sends out a feeling of hopelessness to anyone who is near it."

"Well, its probably still here, then. Because I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now, and you don't look very happy either." The Junior Death Eater said.

"Shut up!" Bellatrix yelled. "Of course you're feeling hopeless! I've just caught you betraying the Dark Lord and now you're going to face the severe consequences! Your feelings of hopelessness have nothing to do with the horcrux, you simpleton!"

"Jeez, calm down." The Junior Death Eater said. "Take a deep breath."

"You're lucky I'm still allowing you to breathe." Bellatrix seethed. "You're lucky I didn't let the Dark Lord kill you when you were BARELY OLD ENOUGH TO WALK, YOU INSUFFERABLE, FRUSTRATING BRAT!"

"Anger issues." The Junior Death Eater mumbled only loud enough for James to hear. The corner of James' mouth twitched and he fought the urge to laugh.

But something about what Bellatrix had just said triggered something in James' mind. It sounded as though Voldemort had wanted to kill this boy before he was even old enough to walk. Why did that sound so _suspicious?_

"Tell me where the horcrux is RIGHT NOW!" Bellatrix yelled. "I've had enough of these games!"

"Okay, Bella." The Junior Death Eater said. "I have an idea on where the horcrux might be."

James' stomach dropped.

Bellatrix smiled triumphantly.

"I knew I could scare the truth out of you." Bellatrix said. "You were always very weak. So tell me, where is it?"

"Its somewhere between_ there_" The boy pointed to a tall black cabinet. "and the other side of the world."

Bellatrix slapped him so hard the mask almost came off his face. He staggered back and had to reach up and straighten the mask so it wouldn't fall off.

"DON'T _EVER_ TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I DON'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF DISRESPECT!" She shrieked.

"You just slapped a child. You're _very_ tough, Bellatrix." James said sarcastically. "What's next? Drowning puppies?"

"WHERE. IS. THE BLOODY. HORCRUX?" She screamed. "TELL ME _NOW_!"

"I honestly have no idea, but I hope to god its somewhere with padded walls and a psychiatrist." James said.

"You think you're so clever, you horrible blood traitor, but what you fail to realize is that the Dark Lord WILL find out about this and _he_ will be able to find where the horcrux is hidden by looking into your thoughts!" Bellatrix was gripping Remus' wand so tightly it almost snapped in half. She glared at the Junior Death Eater and said, "_You _will be lucky to ever see the light of day again if I don't get some answers very soon!"

"Alright, calm the fuck down, Bellatrix." James stepped forward. He'd made up his mind on what to do. "You're right. I _did_ take the horcrux. Its with Dumbledore, though, so you're too late."

James didn't even take the time to enjoy the horrified look on Bellatrix's face. He raised his wand at lightning speed and yelled, "STUPEFY!"

But she reacted quicker than he expected and deflected the spell.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" She shouted.

James dodged the curse; it hit one of the shelves behind him and made all of its contents fall to the floor.

"GO GET THE HORCRUX BACK! GO TO DUMBLEDORE, TAKE THE HORCRUX BACK FROM HIM AND _GIVE IT TO ME_!" She roared.

James laughed in reply.

"Oh, Bella, you are a raving lunatic!" James grinned tauntingly. "Do you really think I'd do that?"

"I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! ANYTHING YOU WANT!"

"You can't give me anything I want!" He yelled back. "Everything I want is _dead_ thanks to your master!"

"You!" Bellatrix turned her maddened eyes to the Junior Death Eater. "If you go and get the horcrux back, I'll try to convince the Dark Lord not to kill you for everything you've done tonight! If you don't get the horcrux back, it'll ruin everything. And since I'm the one who convinced the Dark Lord not to kill you when you were a baby, _I'm_ the one who'll be blamed for your mistakes. I can't let you ruin everything for me!"

"So what will you do if I don't listen to you? You're going to kill me? I think Voldemort will notice if you murder me, and that will probably give him the hint that I messed things up." The Junior Death Eater said.

"I'll just make your death look like an accident!" Bellatrix said.

"Like you did with Rayden?"

Bellatrix looked like she'd been petrified. Her eyes bulged and she could barely conceal the shock that was written all over her face.

"How do you know about that?" She whispered.

"You didn't do a good job of hiding it."

The gears of James' mind were turning. _Rayden._ That was name of the ex-Junior Death Eater James had met earlier, the one who told him there were was a horcrux hidden in the Room of Fate...but now Bellatrix and the Junior Death Eater were making it sound like this Rayden was dead. How was that possible?

Had James met a ghost?

James suddenly remembered something else Rayden had told him: '_there's someone I want you to meet. He's a friend of mine.'_

Maybe the Junior Death Eater was the friend Rayden was referring to.

"You killed Rayden, you might as well admit it." The Junior Death Eater said. "His death wasn't an accident."

"Yes, I killed him!" Bellatrix said. "There's no point in denying it! He was a meddlesome fool and got in the way of everything I was trying to accomplish! He almost ruined everything, just like you. Soon you'll meet the same fate as him, if you don't find the horcrux and bring it back to me!"

"I'm never going to listen to you." The Junior Death Eater said. "So just do it, then. Kill me."

"No, _don't_ do it!" James said.

The boy's tone of voice when he told Bellatrix to kill him was what freaked James out the most. The boy sounded so _terrified, _and so helpless. This wasn't what he wanted.

Bellatrix stared at the Junior Death Eater, considering him, and it seemed to James like she was debating on whether or not to kill him. James wanted to quickly stun her before she could do anything, but he knew she'd probably deflect it before he could even get the incantation out of his mouth.

And then suddenly, with no warning and no snide remarks, she made a slashing motion with her wand that knocked the boy off his feet. A split second before the boy hit the ground, James dove forward and caught him in his arms, falling to his knees in the process.

James was kneeling on the floor, the Junior Death Eater lying across his lap, bleeding and unconscious. Bellatrix stood over them, staring at her wrist.

"How sad. Its time for me to go." Bellatrix said. "If only I could stick around a little longer and have some more fun."

James noticed the Dark Mark on her wrist had turned black, which could only mean Voldemort was summoning her. She tried to Apparate but evidently found that she couldn't, and instead decided to turn and run for the door. James grabbed his wand and shouted, "STUPEFY!" as she was running, but the spell missed her. She was running too fast. And he couldn't get up and chase her because the Junior Death Eater was laying on him. And he wasn't just going to push the kid onto the floor.

Bellatrix reached the door but before she left she turned around and said, "You can keep him. He's more trouble than he's worth. And besides, he's yours anyway."

Then she slammed the door behind her.

'_He's yours anyway.'_

What was that supposed to mean?

James looked down at the boy in his lap. Blood was leaking out from under the mask and down his neck. James also noticed that the boy had an injured hand; there were blood stained bandages wrapped around his palm. James wondered if Bellatrix did that to him. The kid seemed to be Bellatrix's human punching bag.

James reached down and removed the mask from the boy's face.

His breath stopped.

His mind stopped.

Time might have stopped.

He could not make sense of what he was seeing, could not make sense of the face that looked like his own, could not make sense of the features that looked like Lily's, could not make sense of the head that had his hair. Could not make sense of his mouth, Lily's nose, his cheekbones, Lily's freckles, all on this boy's face. Could not make sense of the pulse he found in the boy's wrist.

The boy must have felt James checking his pulse because he suddenly breathed sharply and opened his eyes.

Most of all, James could not make sense of those eyes.

Vivid green, like a cat's. Like Lily's.

* * *

**The moment you've all been waiting for. :D :D :D**

**PLEASE review. I worked extra hard on this chapter. :]  
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	12. I can't find a wall to pin this to

**Author's note: Thanks for reviewing the last chapter you guys! I appreciated all of your reviews so much I decided to update as quickly as I possibly could.**

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* * *

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_The anger swells in my guts_  
_ And I won't feel these slices and cuts_  
_ I want so much to open your eyes_  
_ 'Cause I need you to look into mine_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
_ Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
_ Tell me that you'll open your eyes_  
_ Tell me that you'll open your eyes_

* * *

Sometimes, when we're faced with things we don't understand, we act quickly and end up doing things we'll later regret. Now was one of those times.

"Who are you?" James pointed his wand at the boy on the floor, who was rubbing at his bloody neck with his sleeve. "What's your name?"

"Harry."

James had to close his eyes because he almost collapsed under the wave that came over him at the sound of Harry's name.

"What's your real name?" James clenched his teeth.

"I just told you."

"Your name can't be Harry." James shook his head, taking a few steps back. "That's impossible."

"Yeah. Right." The boy muttered distractedly, staring down at his bloody hands. When he lifted his hands, blood trickled out from under his sleeves.

"This is a trick, isn't it?" James said, feeling like he was going to be sick. Everything had suddenly kicked into overdrive and he could barely breathe. "This is a trick. You and Bellatrix set this up."

The boy didn't say anything but instead looked up at James, confused. Lily's eyes looked up at him. James felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He was starting to feel lightheaded.

"You're trying to trick me. Its not going to work." James said. "Give me your wand."

The boy's eyes were unfocused and for a few moments it seemed like he was staring at James without really seeing him. Then he snapped out of the daze he was in, blinking and evidently trying to figure out what was happening.

"I said give me your wand." James repeated. "I'm not going to fall for this trick."

The boy handed his wand over to James, apparently too confused to try to put up a fight.

"Come on. We're going to go see someone. Don't try to run off or I'll hex you." James said through the lump in his throat. He turned away and started for the door, fighting against the tidal wave of emotions building inside his chest. His hands were shaking. He felt like his knees were giving way. When he turned around to see if the boy was following him, James saw him just standing there, holding onto a shelf for support. "What's wrong with you?"

The boy didn't answer, didn't even move. Despite James' tremendous effort not to feel anything for this impostor, he couldn't fight back the fear that came with seeing someone who looked like Harry bleeding profusely and not moving.

"She didn't really curse you. I'm not stupid. I'm not falling for this..." James said although he was really starting to panic now. "She was only pretending to curse you, right? This is all just a setup."

The boy suddenly jumped, making James jump too. The green eyes darted around as if looking for something. James refused to let himself think of those eyes as Lily's eyes. Those weren't Lily's eyes. It was just an illusion, something Voldemort made up in order to trick him...

"Where's Bellatrix?" The boy asked suddenly.

"You know where she is." James said. "She probably told you. This is all a part of your plan, right?"

"What are you talking about?" The boy asked. "I don't know where she is. Do you?"

"Voldemort summoned her, as you must already know." James said.

James was surprised that he could even make words come out of his mouth with the condition his mind was in. Although the room was silent except for the boy's panting breaths, everything felt so loud to James. There was screaming and yelling going on inside his head.

The boy looked over at him and James' heart felt like it tore in half. As much as he tried to deny it, those were Lily's eyes. And it wasn't just the eyes. It was the mouth, it was the nose, it was the freckles, it was the hair, it was the facial expression that matched the one Lily usually wore when she was frightened. James wasn't sure if he could take it anymore. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to hit something.

"Why are you doing this to me?" James asked, his voice cracking.

At that precise moment, the boy fell to the floor.

James' limits for emotional and psychological pain had been pushed many times over the past decade, but as he knelt to the floor and lifted the boy who looked like his dead son into his arms, he had never felt anything quite like that before. He'd gladly take the Cruciatus Curse over it any day, that was for sure. Every bone in his body was trembling as he carried the boy towards the Vanishing Cabinet, stepped inside and wrote '_Albus Dumbledore'_ against the wood with the tip of his wand.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was sitting in his office, hunched over the broken fragments of the Diadem of Ravenclaw. When he found the pieces of the diadem in his old Vanishing Cabinet, he realized one of the Aurors must have sent it to him. But that also meant that the Aurors were somewhere at the Ministry, so the raid at the warehouse must not have gone according to plan. However, Dumbledore didn't let this bother him too much because at least now they had one of the horcruxes.

Dumbledore had immediately recognized the horcrux for what it was and destroyed it with the Sword of Gryffindor minutes after he found it. Now he was just looking at the broken pieces, pondering them.

But a sudden bang from the room next to his office interrupted his thoughts. Dumbledore looked over at the door curiously. What could have possibly made that noise?

"Albus," Dumbledore recognized the voice of James Potter. "Are you here?"

"Yes, James, I'm in my office." Dumbledore replied. "But I must admit, I'm wondering how you ended up in my sitting room."

Dumbledore smiled when James came into his office but James did not return the smile. In fact, he looked terrible. Pale, shaking, and seemingly fragile, like if you touched him he'd shatter into a thousand pieces. Dumbledore stood up in concern, wondering what had happened. Had someone gotten hurt? He prayed it hadn't been Lily or Sirius. Dumbledore knew James wouldn't be able to survive without either of them.

"Whatever is the matter, James?" Dumbledore asked. "What's going on?"

"I don't know." James' voice sounded hoarse. "Come see."

Dumbledore strode across his office and into the sitting room, where he found what must have been the greatest shock of James' life, lying unconscious in an armchair.

The boy appeared to be thirteen years old, with a shock of dark hair and a dusting of light, hardly noticeable freckles across his nose and cheekbones; the nose that matched Lily's and the cheekbones that matched James'. The boy's head lolled against his shoulder and although it was hard to see the stains of blood on the boy's dark blazer, Dumbledore could see blood on the cuffs of the white shirt he wore underneath.

"Ah. I see." Was all Dumbledore said.

* * *

James seemed to be having a meltdown in the doorway.

Why was Voldemort doing this to him? What was the point? Was there a good reason for it or was it just to make James suffer? This was beyond cruel. Voldemort was known for being able to manipulate people by using their deepest fears and desires against them, but James had never heard of anything like this. He couldn't remember ever hearing about Voldemort pretending somebody's dead son was alive.

This was a horrible trick.

James' hatred for Voldemort was so overpowering that he started to see red. He could barely think straight, could barely breathe. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand and pretended he was tearing into Voldemort's throat and ripping the life from his pathetic body.

Wasn't it bad enough that Voldemort ruined James' life already? Did he have to come back and rub it in James' face? Voldemort killed Harry but it _still _wasn't enough for him. He couldn't just kill James' son and leave him alone to grieve for the rest of his life. No, Voldemort had to wait ten years or so and then make somebody pretend to be Harry, to psychologically torment him. It was so evil and so twisted that James could barely believe that any human being would do it.

But Voldemort wasn't a human being anymore. He had changed into something else. Something that didn't even deserve a name.

James couldn't see Dumbledore's expression at first, as Dumbledore was facing the Harry impostor with his back to James, but when he turned around the look on his face was not what James had been expecting.

His face was worried. Not shocked. _Worried._ And his worry didn't seem to be about James. From the look in Dumbledore's eyes, he seemed to be worried about the boy in the chair.

"What happened to him?" Dumbledore asked. "Why is he covered in blood?"

James was caught off guard by the question. Shouldn't a more appropriate question be '_why is he posing as your dead son?' _Wasn't that the matter at hand here?

"Bellatrix Lestrange cursed him." James said. "It was a nonverbal curse so I don't know what the incantation was."

"Get Madam Pomfrey."

"Wait, _what_? Shouldn't we find out who he is first?"

"Hurry." Dumbledore ordered. "If she used the Cutting Curse, he could bleed to death."

* * *

"You failed." Lord Voldemort said softly. "All of you."

"M-master..." Bellatrix whimpered. "I'm so, so, sorry. I didn't know -"

"Silence!" Voldemort snapped, his voice hitting her like a whip. "This is primarily your fault, you foolish woman."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, forgive me, master." She sobbed. "I thought we could use Harry as a Death Eater. I thought if we raised him right, he'd grow up to be like us. Believe me, I was only thinking in your best interests."

"He has Lily and James Potter's blood in his veins. He comes from a long line of Aurors and _Gryffindors_," Voldemort spat, as if 'Gryffindor' was something foul. "You should have known better. And I must admit, _I_ myself should have known better, but I had been foolish. I listened to your persuasions. I believed you could turn the half-blood brat into a worthy young Death Eater. But now look what's happened. He ruined _everything._"

Every Death Eater cowered before him, all of them wondering how severely they'd be punished.

"Crucio." Voldemort flicked his wand at Bellatrix.

She fell to the floor screaming and writhing. He let it go on for twenty seconds before he released the curse. Her screams fell into heavy pants, and after a few more moments she was silent.

"How many?" Voldemort asked, looking around at the Death Eaters. "How many horcruxes were destroyed or taken?"

"Two." Bellatrix said. "Only two."

"_ONLY _TWO?" Voldemort roared furiously, rising from his seat and standing over her. She cringed at his feet like an abused dog. "WHICH ONES!"

"The statue of Salazar Slytherin was destroyed by Harry. Then the Diadem of Ravenclaw was taken by James Potter. He - he sent it to Dumbledore." Bellatrix winced as she said this.

Voldemort let out a scream of rage that echoed off the walls of the large room. All of the Death Eaters recoiled in fright.

"Where are the others?" Voldemort asked quietly, his voice shaking with barely suppressed rage.

"Where you left them, I swear!" Bellatrix said.

"And the one at your manor?"

"Its still there."

"It had better be." Voldemort said. "Or you will experience suffering like you've never known before."

"Please, master. I only suffer when you suffer." Bellatrix said.

"Lord Voldemort doesn't suffer." Voldemort said before Cruciating her again. He lifted the curse after a few minutes and said, "You let James Potter take his son. Why would you do that? Why would you be so foolish to let Potter know his son is alive?"

"I thought - I thought I killed the boy. I used the Cutting Curse on him." Bellatrix said. "I thought it would torture James Potter if he found out that his son is alive, only to have his son die moments later."

"What if you didn't kill him, Bella?" Voldemort seethed. "Have you considered that? Have you considered the possibility that Harry wasn't immediately killed by the curse, and that James Potter probably took him to a Healer?"

"I - I'm sorry!" Bellatrix blubbered.

"Sorry isn't good enough."

And Voldemort Cruciated her for the third time.

* * *

James' stomach was in knots as he sat in Dumbledore's office, practically rocking back and forth in his chair. Dumbledore was with Madam Pomfrey in the sitting room, trying to figure out what was wrong with the boy. _'Voldemort disguised him to look like he could be my son,'_ James thought. _'That's what's wrong with him._' But no matter how much James tried to stop himself from worrying about the kid, he still did. He was worrying so much he thought he might be sick.

'_Surely Bellatrix didn't _really_ use the Cutting Curse on him. She was only pretending to. It was all a part of their plan.' _James said. _'The boy is just a really good actor...he might not even be a _boy_ at all. He could be a grown man who was only disguised as a child. It could be one of the older Death Eaters, like Avery or Macnair...'_

But James couldn't stop worrying. Everything the kid had said was running through his mind: '_I have an idea on where the horcrux might be. Its somewhere between _there_ and the other side of the world'...'Voldemort could be a girl and we'd never know'...'Because I'm not an evil lunatic'...'I think I was born into it...'_

He had to have been faking it, everything he said. They probably planned out what they'd say ahead of time. Bellatrix probably told the boy to say all of those things to make it sound like he resents Voldemort, when in reality he probably worships him. That was it...

"James." Dumbledore's voice broke his worried thoughts. "He woke up."

James hated himself for the relief he felt at those words. Why was he feeling relieved that a Death Eater posing as his son wasn't dead?

"Poppy says Bellatrix _did_ use the Cutting Curse on him, but the wound wasn't very deep and she was able to heal it within minutes." Dumbledore said. "He seems to be fine now."

"But - but he _fainted_. He just collapsed right on the floor. He must have lost a lot of blood." James argued.

"Over-exhaustion." Dumbledore said. "Evidently, the boy doesn't get a lot of sleep."

"Who is he?" James' anger had returned. "Why is he pretending to be Harry?"

"I don't know who he is, James, but I intend to find out as soon as possible." Dumbledore said. "Come in the sitting room with me. I have a way of finding out who he is."

In the sitting room, James saw the boy sitting up in the chair, looking at Madam Pomfrey warily. Madam Pomfrey stared back at him, apparently annoyed. James tried extremely hard not to smile at the familiar frown on her face. It was the same frown she used to give James when he was a teenager and kept picking at whatever bandages she put on him, or whenever he tried to leave the hospital wing without permission. James briefly wondered what the boy had done to make Madam Pomfrey annoyed, but then he immediately scolded himself, '_Who cares? He's a Death Eater. He's an impostor.'_

"Hello again. I am Professor Dumbledore." Dumbledore smiled politely. "I'm just going to ask you some questions and then take a sample of your blood."

_'Why is he being so friendly to the impostor?'_ James thought in annoyance.

"Why?" The boy asked. Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Are you a vampire?"

The question was so childlike that James' heart actually softened a bit and he almost smiled. But then he immediately said to himself, '_He's a good actor. He's just pretending to be all innocent when in reality he's an evil Death Eater, who is probably 40 years old...'_

But if this boy was actually an adult, the disguise was _genius_ and the acting deserved an Oscar.

"No, I'm not a vampire." Dumbledore smiled. "Now, let's get on with it. My first question for you is: how do you feel about Voldemort?"

"He's bloody crazy." The boy said.

_'Good acting. Its just good acting.'_ James thought repeated. '_Good acting. Good acting...'_

"You don't respect him?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Why would I?"

"Have you ever killed someone?" Dumbledore moved onto the next question.

"No." The boy said indignantly.

"Would you mind if I took a sample of your blood now?" Dumbledore asked, holding up a small knife.

"Would you still do it, even if I don't want you to?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"I'm afraid so. However, I won't be the one doing it." Dumbledore looked over at James and said, "James, would you -"

"_What? _No!" James' heart started pounding.

"I'm sorry, James, but this won't work if you aren't the one doing it." Dumbledore said, handing the knife out to him.

James stared at it in horror. He couldn't do it. He absolutely could not.

"James," Dumbledore pleaded. "There's no other way."

The guilt James felt was sharper than the knife when he took it from Dumbledore and looked over at the boy. He was staring at James with wide green eyes - _Lily's eyes._ James tried to order himself not to feel guilty. This was just a Death Eater, after all. A Death Eater posing as his dead son. It was just an impostor.

But knowing that the boy was an impostor didn't make it any easier to walk towards him with a knife in his hand. James knelt in front of the chair, refusing to look at the boy's face. He didn't want to see what kind of emotion was in those green eyes. James looked over at Dumbledore and asked, "What am I supposed to do?"

"All you have to do is cut his hand." Dumbledore explained.

The boy held his hand out to James, and as James reached for it he accidentally looked into the boy's eyes.

He looked uneasy, for the most part, but also slightly curious, like something about James interested him. And this bothered James so much, he could barely stand it. His anger flared up again.

He took the knife and slashed it across the back of the boy's palm. The boy cringed and pulled his hand back as his blood spilled onto the blade. James was breathing heavily, his anger at this impostor roaring in his ears. He barely even noticed when Dumbledore took the knife from him. It was only when Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder and gestured towards the door that he realized they were done with the little interrogation.

James stood up, glaring down at the boy. The boy looked back up at him, appearing confused and yet still curious.

"James, please hurry, before the blood tries." Dumbledore said from the doorway. "Poppy, would you mind cleaning the wound and performing some last minute tests on him, just to make sure the Cutting Curse hasn't left any lasting damage?"

James tore his eyes away from the boy and followed Dumbledore into his office, slamming the door behind him.

"Sit down, James." Dumbledore said as he placed the knife on his desk and rifled through a drawer.

James didn't sit down. Instead he paced back and forth in front of the desk, running his hands through his hair.

"Ah," Dumbledore suddenly said minutes later. "I found it."

Dumbledore laid a faded sheet of parchment out on his desk.

"A piece of old parchment?" James scoffed. "That's what you've been looking for?"

"Its not a regular piece of parchment. Its a special kind of parchment that I received as a gift many, many years ago. I didn't think I'd ever need to use it, but I've kept it, just in case." Dumbledore said. "If you put somebody's blood on this paper, the blood will spell out their name and date of birth."

"So we'll know who that kid is?" James asked. "Who he _really_ is?"

"That's correct." Dumbledore said. "Lord Voldemort doesn't know that I have this so he wouldn't have thought of finding a way to trick it. And even if he did try to find a way to trick it, he wouldn't be able to. This parchment is absolutely foolproof. It cannot be tricked because blood cannot change."

James watched with baited breath as Dumbledore raised the bloody knife and wiped it on the parchment.

James couldn't watch anymore. He turned away from Dumbledore and closed his eyes, trying to steady the beating of his heart to no prevail. His heart was pounding so hard, his breath was stuck in his throat, he couldn't remember how to breathe. He tried to take deep calming breaths but that only made him feel nauseous.

"Its done." Dumbledore said from somewhere behind him. James couldn't read the emotion in his voice.

He still didn't open his eyes.

"James." Dumbledore said. "Come see it."

"I can't."

"You must, James." Dumbledore said.

James opened his eyes and sighed. He moved towards the desk, his heart beating so hard he thought it was going to break out of his ribcage. Dumbledore moved the parchment across the desk and gestured for James to sit down and look at it. But James was terrified. He didn't want to look at it. Because if he sat down and looked at the parchment, he didn't know if he'd ever be able to stand back up again.

"Look at it, James." Dumbledore insisted.

James sat down and with trembling hands pulled the parchment closer to him so he could read the name written across it, the true name of the Junior Death Eater.

_Harry James Potter - July 31st, 1980_

James stared at the words while his heart thumped in his ears and the room started spinning. His brain tried to register what he was reading. _Harry James Potter, Harry James Potter, Harry James Potter, July 31st, 1980._ He thought of a dark haired, emerald eyed baby, squirming in his arms as he tickled him. Then he thought of the twelve years he spent grieving over that baby. Then he thought of the living, breathing, thirteen year old boy in the other room.

And that was the precise moment James hit the floor, the world going black around him.

* * *

**I am HORRIBLE for ending the chapter right here, but I had to. I'm sorry. As usual, please review! I don't want to sound like a review whore but when I get lots of reviews it makes me determined to finish the next chapter faster.**


	13. Theyre all coming down since I found you

**Author's note: Hey you guys! Thanks for reading and reviewing the last chapter, I'm glad you all liked it so much. Hopefully a lot of your questions will be answered soon. **

**Animus of Masada - James kept pushing other possibilities from his mind because he didn't want to let himself believe that Harry was alive, because he didn't want to get his hopes up. He knew that if he allowed himself to think Harry could be alive and then it turned out that Harry was actually dead, it would be like losing him all over again. But I appreciate your criticism and thank you for reviewing. :)**

**And to the person who mentioned basilisk venom in the sword (I know what your username is but for some reason, every time I write it, gets all screwy and your name disappears, ugh) - Thanks for bringing that to my attention. Dumbledore probably did kill the snake himself. Since Harry never defeated Voldemort when he was a baby, Voldemort was always around, so he probably set the basilisk free from the chamber at one point. And then Dumbledore probably figured out that it was a basilisk and just killed it himself.**

* * *

_The green eyes, yeah the spotlight shines upon you_  
_And how could anybody deny you?_  
_I came here with a load_  
_And it feels so much lighter now I met you_  
_And honey you should know_  
_That I could never go on without you_  
_Green eyes_

* * *

As soon as James' head hit the floor, he started to dream. But instead of having a normal dream, this dream was riddled with memories.

He was standing in the bright, golden kitchen of Potter manor, holding Harry in his arms and affectionately kissing him all over his face. Sirius was imitating him, puckering his lips and making kissy sounds. James grabbed an apple off the counter and threw it at him, causing him to fall out of his chair. Then Harry reached up and snatched the glasses off James' face and threw them at Remus.

The glasses bounced off Remus' head and landed in his tea. While James wished he could see the expression on Remus' face, Harry and Sirius both laughed hysterically. And Lily, who was watching from the corner, was saying, "Oh Merlin, Sirius, Harry has been hanging around you too much. He's starting to laugh like you."

"Yes, Padfoot." James said. "You're a bad influence on my child."

"James, Harry only threw the glasses because you threw the apple." Lily said.

"I didn't throw anything!" James said with mock indignation. He looked at Harry's innocent face and said, "Did I, Harry? Did I? Did Daddy throw something?"

Harry only blinked at him, having no idea what James saying.

"Just say no, Harry!" James stage whispered. "Say 'no, you did not throw anything!'"

Harry continued to stare blankly. But when James tickled him, he laughed again.

Then suddenly the dream changed into a different memory.

James was standing in the drawing room that was decorated in the Gryffindor House colors, watching as Harry chewed on the keys of Sirius' motorbike.

"Hey Harry," Sirius said, dangling a pair of plastic colorful keys in Harry's face. "Do you want _these_ keys instead? They're yours, and they're actually meant for babies to chew on. They probably taste loads better than mine do, anyway."

Harry grabbed the plastic keys from Sirius' hand and threw them across the room. They hit Remus on the head, bounced off and landed in his cup of tea. Then Harry went back to chewing on the motorbike keys.

The memory changed again.

Suddenly Sirius was holding Harry in his arms while James tried to fashion Harry's hair into a Mohawk using hair gel. Remus watched from the corner with an amused look on his face, but didn't get involved. Then suddenly Lily stormed into the room.

Sirius and James stopped what they were doing and looked at her fearfully. She glared at them disapprovingly for a few moments but couldn't hold back laughter when she looked at Harry's hair. She ran over, scooped him up into her arms and cooed, "Oh, my poor baby! What have they done to your hair?"

As she tried to smooth down Harry's hair with her hand, he reached over her shoulder and grabbed the bottle of hair gel from a shelf before throwing it across the room. It crashed into a picture frame on the wall before bouncing off and landing in Remus' tea, for the third time ever.

James roared with laughter at the ludicrous look on Remus' face. He walked over and stole Harry from Lily while saying, "You are the world's greatest son, you know that? You're only a year old and you're already pulling Marauder stunts. These days you throw things in Remus' tea, but in a few years you'll be throwing things in Filch's pumpkin juice at the Hogwarts feasts, and he'll never see it coming because you're a genius and you'll find a way to do it without getting caught, and I love you. I love you so much."

"James!" Lily slapped his arm. "Don't teach Harry to throw things at Filch!"

"I never said throw things_ at_ Filch, I said throw things in Filch's pumpkin juice. There's a difference, Lil."

But then everything changed.

Harry disappeared from his arms. Sirius and Remus weren't there anymore. The curtains had drawn and hardly any sunlight made its way into the room. Everything looked gray and gloomy.

"Harry?" James whispered into the dark room. "Sirius? Remus?"

Then he heard weeping. He turned around and saw Lily lying on the floor in the corner of the room, holding one of Harry's teddy bears in her hand. The scene looked familiar somehow...wasn't this how he found Lily after they realized Harry had been kidnapped?

But wait. When was Harry kidnapped? Harry was just in James' arms a second ago, he couldn't have been kidnapped...

And then suddenly, James was kneeling in front of a boy who looked a bit like him but also looked like Lily. He felt angry, just so angry, and he didn't really know why. So he took a knife and slashed it across the boy's hand and watched him bleed all over the floor...

* * *

Familiar green eyes stared down at him, glowing like a cat's in the candlelight.

"Are you alright?" The voice sounded like it was coming from far away.

James blinked a few times, unsure of where he was. But as he started to sit up and saw he was lying on a couch in Dumbledore's sitting room, everything that happened before he fainted came rushing back to him, making his heart start to pound again.

He looked over and saw the boy standing beside the couch. James stood up so suddenly that the boy jumped back in surprise. James grabbed him by the wrists so he couldn't back away and stared into the bright green eyes.

"You're...you're Harry." James said incredulously.

"Yes."

_He's Harry. He's my son. My Harry._

James placed his hands on the sides of Harry's face, hardly daring to believe it. His face was so warm and soft but so solid and real. James looked over every inch of Harry's face, marveling over every little detail; the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, the arch of his eyebrows, the length of his eyelashes, the feel of the soft skin beneath his hands. The freckles that seemed to only show up in the light, the flecks of orange in his eyes, James couldn't stop staring.

If Harry was freaked out by having a stranger grab his face, James didn't notice. He was too busy staring at Harry's face to notice his facial expression.

_I'm dreaming. I'm hallucinating,_ James thought. _I must be._

But as he ran his hand through Harry's messy hair, his heart soared because it felt real. Could a hallucination feel like this? James didn't think so.

"You're really Harry." James said.

"Yeah."

"Do you know who I am?"

"I think your name is James..." Harry said uncertainly.

"James, can I have a quick word with you in my office?" Dumbledore asked from the doorway.

Harry turned his head away from James to look at Dumbledore, but James barely acknowledged that Dumbledore had entered the room. He continued to stare at Harry in awe, not removing his hands from the sides of his face.

"James, could I please speak with you?" Dumbledore repeated.

"No." James said, staring at Harry like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

"Its very important." Dumbledore said. "You need to hear this."

"No thanks." James said bemusedly.

"James." Dumbledore's voice was stern now. "Harry will still be here when you get back. You can talk to him - or rather, stare at him - after."

Dumbledore was suddenly next to James, placing a hand on his shoulder and steering him towards the door. As Dumbledore practically dragged him away, James continuously looked back at Harry, who was standing there looking so confused it was almost comical.

"What?" James said impatiently once they were in Dumbledore's office. "What could be more important than Harry?"

"I was just about to -"

"That's my son, Albus! That's my son! He's alive and breathing and he's thirteen years old, oh god, how did he grow up so fast? I mean, he's still just a kid, but the last time I saw him he was so small and couldn't even talk, and oh my god, he's alive, he's alive." James paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. "And he has my hair and Lily's eyes and he's alive, and the Death Eaters had him for years, they tried to make him a Death Eater but they failed because he's a good person, and he's alive, and SHIT! I CUT HIS HAND!"

"James, please -"

"No, Albus, you made me cut his hand! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!"

"It was necessary, James. It wouldn't have worked if you weren't the one doing it -"

"BUT I CUT HIM SO DEEP AND SO HARD!" James said, furious at himself. "I THOUGHT HE WAS AN IMPOSTOR AND I WAS SO MAD, I CUT HIM HARDER THAN NECESSARY! I COULD HAVE JUST PRICKED HIM WITH THE KNIFE A LITTLE BIT, BUT INSTEAD I SLASHED HIS HAND OPEN!"

He tried to take deep calming breaths but that only made him feel nauseous.

"FUCK, HARRY'S PROBABLY AFRAID OF ME NOW!" James said, pressing his hands against his face.

Then it occurred to him: _Harry_ was probably afraid of him. _Harry,_ his son, would hate him because _he's alive _and you have to be alive in order to hate someone. James grinned and said, "He's alive, Albus, did you see him? He's alive."

"Yes, James, I saw him."

"No, I don't think you understand, Albus. Harry is ALIVE!"

"James, I think you need to sit down before you pass out again. A great shock like this can take a toll on a person. I won't be surprised if you started to have mood swings."

"I don't get mood swings, Albus. But listen to me, HARRY'S ALIVE." James started laughing. But then he immediately stopped laughing and said, "But fuck! I CUT HIS HAND! WHY'D YOU MAKE ME DO THAT? FUCK!"

Dumbledore sighed.

"How am I going to tell Lily? What am I gonna tell Sirius and Remus? When can I tell them all? Right now! I should do it right now. But wait, I can't leave, Harry's here. I'm not leaving Harry, not even for two minutes." James said. "And shit, its been more than two minutes since I last saw him! I should go get him and take him with me to see Lily! But how am I going to tell Harry who I am?"

James hadn't realized he was crying until Dumbledore held out a tissue. James took the tissue but didn't really know what he was supposed to do with it; he never really used tissues when he cried. So he just dropped it on the floor and continued raving, "Why am I still standing here talking about this? Why aren't I in there talking to Harry? I have to go see him!"

"James, please wait!" Dumbledore stood up. "I understand your need to rant and if you still feel the need to do so, then carry on if you wish. I'm in no great hurry. But before you see Harry again, there is something that I have to tell you."

"What? What is it?" James asked eagerly.

"I talked to Harry while you were unconscious." Dumbledore said. "And I learned some things about his life, and things the Death Eaters have told him. He's lived at Lestrange Manor for the majority of the past twelve years, except for the two years he ran away from them and lived in the Muggle world with his friend Rayden, who is now deceased."

_So I did talk to a ghost_, James thought.

"Harry thinks his parents are dead." Dumbledore continued. "Bellatrix Lestrange told him he is the son of Margret and Carlian Mendacium, the infamous Death Eaters who were killed ten years ago."

"So let's go tell him that I'm his dad!"

"James, I'm not sure you understand. Harry thinks he's an orphan. He's believed himself to be an orphan for his entire life." Dumbledore said. "This isn't something we can just spring on him. It could scare him away, and we really don't want to do that right now, after what he's done."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see, James? Harry has destroyed one of the horcruxes and caused a lot of problems for Bellatrix tonight. Bellatrix already used the Cutting Curse against him. The Death Eaters must be looking for him right now. If we tell him you're his father, it will change his life drastically and we don't know how he'll react to it. If it scared him and he were to run away from us, the Death Eaters would find him." Dumbledore explained.

"I just found out that _he's_ alive and I'm not taking it badly! He probably won't take it badly either!" James argued.

"James, though you aren't taking it badly_ per se_, you do seem to be shaken up. And you're a lot older and wiser than he is." Dumbledore said. "Harry is just a child. Children react to shocking news differently than adults do. If you're quite shaken up and having mood swings about this, I can't even begin to imagine how Harry would react."

"So when do you think we should tell him?" James asked.

"That I don't know." Dumbledore said sadly.

"Well, we have to tell Lily, at least!"

"That could be dangerous."

"What the hell are you talking about? Why would it be dangerous? That's ridiculous!"

"James, Bellatrix Lestrange knows Harry is with you. If Voldemort knows Harry's still alive, which he must have figured out already, he probably sent the Death Eaters looking for him. And you know for a fact that the Death Eaters will use any method necessary to find him. If you tell Lily that Harry is alive and that he's here at Hogwarts, the Death Eaters would probably torture her to find out. Telling Lily would put both her and Harry in grave danger."

"But what if I just tell her Harry's alive but I don't tell her where he is?" James asked although he had the feeling Dumbledore was right.

"You know Lily won't accept that. She's going to want answers. You can't go to Potter Manor and tell Lily that your son, who was previously believed to be dead, is alive, and then leave. It would be quite cruel and I have the feeling Lily won't stand for it. She'd try to follow you back here."

"What if we just take Lily and bring her back here?" James asked.

"I'm not even sure where you and Harry will stay while you're here. There wouldn't be enough room for Lily, unfortunately. And it would be much kinder to let her keep living at home, so she can continue to go to work and live her normal life."

"But her normal life is miserable. She's miserable without Harry. Its been twelve years and she's still grieving over him. _I'm_ still grieving over him. Or at least I was, up until an hour ago."

"Its better that she's miserable but safe than happy and in danger." Dumbledore said. "And she won't be miserable for long, James. We will tell her eventually. Just not today."

"So what now? I'm just on exile here?" James asked.

"I'm afraid so. But Harry has agreed not to run off, so he'll be staying here as well -"

"HARRY! I haven't thought about him in twenty seconds, that's a new record. I have to go see him!" James said quickly.

He ran for the door that led to the sitting room and Dumbledore didn't try to stop him. However, before James opened the door he turned back and asked, "Er - is there any chance Harry overheard us?"

"There might be a few people in Africa who overheard you yelling, James, but I'm certain Harry did not. The door is soundproof." Dumbledore smiled.

James didn't stick around to talk to Dumbledore any longer. He practically knocked the door down when he ran into the room. He was surprised to see Madam Pomfrey in there, talking to - or rather, arguing with - Harry.

_Harry_. James felt a fuzzy feeling in his heart he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Hold still!" Madam Pomfrey snapped, putting her hand on Harry's head and shining a light in his eye with her wand. He pushed her wand away from his face, making her sigh exasperatedly. "I'm trying to check your pupils. I need to make sure you have all your vital signs."

"You don't have to check my vital signs, I'm alive." Harry said. "Trust me."

Both Harry and Madam Pomfrey looked up when James took a few loud steps closer to them. Madam Pomfrey started nagging about something but James wasn't paying attention; he didn't even care about how or why Madam Pomfrey got back in the room. All he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating, and all he had eyes for was Harry. And as he was staring, he noticed Harry's eyes were watering.

"Harry." James practically pushed Madam Pomfrey out of the way in his rush to get to Harry's side. James put a hand on his shoulder, knelt beside him and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Harry looked back at him in surprise. "Why?"

"Your eyes are watering." James said.

_Is it my imagination or does he look like he's going to cry? Is it my fault? Is he crying from pain because I cut his hand with the knife? If he is, I'll never forgive myself -  
_

"She poked me in the eye with her wand at a few minutes ago." Harry said, rubbing his eye with his bandaged hand.

"Because he wouldn't sit still while I was trying to check his vital signs!" Madam Pomfrey snapped. "Honestly! Its impossible to check someone's eyes when they're moving around."

James grinned at Harry, who hesitantly smiled back. James' heart swelled up with a kind of affection he hadn't felt in twelve years and it took all his self restraint not to stand up and wrap Harry in his arms with no intention of ever letting go. In fact, the effort not to do it was putting a strain on him. He literally had to keep thinking, _'Don't do it, don't hug him, it'll scare him, you're just a stranger to him...'_

"You're friendlier than you were before you got knocked unconscious." Harry said.

"What do you mean?"

"Earlier you kept glaring at me and saying that I planned everything with Bellatrix." Harry said.

"Oh." James frowned. He swallowed hard and said, "I'm sorry. I thought you were a Death Eater."

"I _am_ a Death Eater."

"No, you're not. They tried to force you into it, but that doesn't make you one." James said. "But what I meant was, I thought you were a _real_ Death Eater. One of the evil ones."

"I told you I'm not an evil lunatic." Harry reminded him.

"I should have believed you." James said, feeling a lump start to form in his throat again. "And I'm so sorry."

James reached down and took Harry's hand, turning it over to look at the cut on the back. James' heart dropped when he saw the vivid red line that went all the way across the back of his hand and he nearly drowned in the guilt. He gently ran his thumb across the cut but apparently he wasn't gentle enough, because Harry winced in pain. James cringed at the pain he saw in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for cutting your hand. I'm so sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am, and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you." James' eyes started to burn with unshed tears. "I'll never hurt you again. I promise."

"Why do you care so much?" Harry asked, casually looking down at his hand. "Its just a cut."

"I wish I could tell you." James said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Could you at least tell me how you got knocked unconscious?" Harry asked.

"Because I'm an idiot." James grinned.

* * *

"Before I kill you, Mile, there's something you should know."

Kyro smirked down at the older boy who laid on the floor, injured and bleeding. Kyro crouched down so he was close to Mile's face and whispered, "Your parents weren't even Death Eaters."

Then Kyro grinned expectantly, like he thought Mile would burst into tears at the news. When Mile just stared at him blankly, Kyro frowned.

"Well? Doesn't that upset you?" Kyro pressed. "Bellatrix told me this _years_ ago, but she made me promise not to tell. I'm her favorite, you know. She likes me more than she ever liked you or Harry."

"Why would it upset me? Your Lunatic Lestrange's favorite, hurray for you, who bloody cares?" Mile said.

"Don't you want to know who your _real_ parents are?" Kyro sneered. "I don't want you to die without knowing what kind of filth you were conceived from."

Mile didn't want to show it, but he was suddenly desperate to know who his real parents were. He'd always wondered if Bellatrix was lying about who his real parents were. And now that he realized how horrible Death Eaters actually were, he was kind of glad that his parents hadn't been ones.

"Your mother was some stupid half-blood Auror who got herself killed when she refused to join the Death Eaters. She died shortly after you were born. She was a stupid bitch, so there's no need to grieve over her." Kyro said with a cruel smile. "Your father doesn't even know you exist. Your mother left him when she got pregnant and didn't bother telling him that she was going to have a child. He's still alive, you know. His name's Rufus Scrimgeour."

_Rufus Scrimgeour._ Why did that sound so familiar to Mile? He tried to think of where he heard it before. He had heard it recently, maybe just a few hours ago...

_"WHO ARE YOU?"_

_"Who are _you_?"_

_"Who am_ I_? I asked you first!"_

_"And I ignored you. So, again, who are you? Are you an Auror?"_

_"Yes, I am an Auror! I am Rufus Scrimgeour, head of the Auror Department."_

Mile's eyes widened. The Auror Harry had been talking to...that was Mile's _father_?

"Oh, so you've heard of him." Kyro said. "I can tell by the look on your face. How does it feel, Mile? How does it feel to know that you don't come from a noble Death Eater family like me, and that you actually come from a family of Aurors?"

"Pretty good, actually. Now I know there's no crazy blood in my veins." Mile said. Then he laughed and said, "Oh, and what do you mean I don't come from a noble Death Eater family_ like you_? What makes you so sure you come from a Death Eater family? Bellatrix could have been lying about your parents just like she lied about mine."

"Because she wouldn't lie to me!" Kyro yelled. "She loves me! She doesn't care about you!"

Kyro glared down at Mile angrily for a few moments, so upset that he apparently couldn't even speak. When he finally found his voice, he said quietly, "Say goodbye to your life, Mile. Because I'm about to end it."

Kyro raised his wand and was about to say the incantation that would wipe the life from Mile's body, but there was suddenly a loud crash from behind him that startled him so badly he dropped his wand. Whipping his head around, he saw a large wolf burst through the door.

"What the -"

The wolf pounced at Kyro, knocking him to the floor. Mile wasted no time wondering what the hell a wolf was doing in the Department of Mysteries. He got to his feet, grabbed Kyro's wand and bolted for the door, just as a big black dog came running in after the wolf. As Mile ran from the room, he looked back and saw the dog push the wolf away from Kyro, as if it knew what it was doing.

_How strange,_ Mile thought as he ran for his life. _Not strange enough to make me turn back, though..._

* * *

"Here's where you'll be staying while you're here, Harry. I do hope you find it comfortable and if you need anything don't hesitate to ask." Dumbledore gestured around a spare bedroom. "This is one of the many secret rooms Hogwarts has. I'm sure there are dozens of other rooms we don't know about, as well. I was lucky enough to stumble across this room during a midnight stroll a few years back."

Harry stepped inside and looked around. It wasn't as ostentatious as Lestrange Manor, but that was a good thing, in Harry's opinion. Lestrange Manor was so flashy that it felt more like a museum than somebody's home. This spare bedroom Harry would be staying in was very nice but it had a homelike feel to it. The stone walls were lined with bookshelves and there was a roaring fireplace in the corner, with a four poster bed covered with thick crimson blankets.

"People don't tend to come around this part of the castle, so if you feel like walking around, you won't be seen. But do try to stay in this part of the castle and out of sight, please. It is safe here at Hogwarts and you won't run into any Death Eaters, but we still want to be careful." Dumbledore said. "You especially must not leave the castle grounds. I don't wish for you to leave the castle at all, because that could be risky as well, but if you leave the castle grounds you're officially out of the protection of the wards and the Death Eaters could find you."

Harry wasn't sure what to say so he just stared at Dumbledore as he talked.

"If you wish to to see me, take a left around the corridor and walk up two flights of stairs where you'll find my door. The password is 'Chocolate Frog.'" Dumbledore said. "And if you wish to talk to James again - I noticed that you two seemed to be having a conversation earlier - he is staying in a room right down the hall from here. He'll probably come looking for you, eventually. Although, I told him he should give you some space. He's taken quite a liking to you." Dumbledore seemed to be trying hard not to smile as he said this, like there was some joke Harry wasn't getting. "Do I have your word that you won't leave this part of the castle?"

"You have my word." Harry nodded.

Dumbledore smiled and left the room to return to his office.

It only took ten minutes for Harry to leave the room and wander around to other parts of the castle.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, and thank you sooo much for all the reviews on the last chapter. Please review some more, it encourages me to write faster. :D**

**Also, if you're wondering how Madam Pomfrey randomly got back in the sitting room to check on Harry, she went back in the room while James was having his little emotional breakdown in Dumbledore's office. He was yelling so much he didn't even notice Madam Pomfrey come back. XD  
**


	14. I just wanna be where you are tonight

**Author's note: Thank you guys for being so patient with the story, even though some of you have told me that it's making you pull your hair out and that you need a bubble bath. XD **

**Admittedly, Dumbledore's logic is very confusing and doesn't seem like the best answer, but I had it be that way because in the books nobody understood his logic either. If everybody always understood his logic, they would have realized that Snape was good and it wouldn't have taken long to find the horcruxes. But unfortunately, as much as I love Dumbledore and I don't think he's manipulative, he isn't very good at making people understand his reasons for things, and he sometimes hides information.  
**

**As for why Lily couldn't stay in the castle, it wasn't only about there being no room. It was also about not wanting to put her on exile and just letting her live normally. **

**And who knows? Maybe Dumbledore is hiding some other information...I'm not saying he is, but I'm not saying he isn't. :) Please review.**

**

* * *

**_And everything I thought I knew _  
_ Has been redefined by you_  
_ Now there's no need for this stupid disguise_  
_ I stepped into a different place_  
_ The moment that I saw your face_  
_ I swear I saw myself deep in your eyes_  
_ And I don't know how_  
_ All I know now for sure_  
_ It's obvious that you're what happened to me_

* * *

James really hated Dumbledore at the moment, but his hatred for Dumbledore was mixed in with his love for Harry and worry about Lily, so the finished product was a hurricane of emotions waging war in his head. He paced back and forth in the spare bedroom that seemed like a smaller version of a Gryffindor dorm room, tempted to run down the hall and find Harry. But _no_, Dumbledore told him to give Harry some space. How could he possibly give Harry some space? What made Dumbledore think that was an easy thing to do?

James nearly went insane. His son, who was living and breathing, was right down the hall. The baby he'd loved so much, and still did love more than anything, hadn't been killed and was now a thirteen year old boy. And Lily didn't know about any of this. She was probably at St. Mungo's at the moment, healing people although she could never really heal herself after what they _thought_ had happened to Harry.

But it hadn't really happened. And James could tell Lily that, if Dumbledore hadn't forbidden him to do so.

But since when did James follow orders?

...unless Dumbledore's orders really were just to protect Harry and Lily.

James could barely think straight. He desperately wanted to see Harry and it made thinking rationally about anything else impossible. He could practically feel Harry's heart beating from down the hall. But he knew that he probably shouldn't go looking for him. So what could he do to pass the time?

And then it hit him: _The Marauder's Map._

Of course! The Marauder's Map always provided entertainment, even if you weren't using it to sneak around. It was always hilarious to just watch Filch's dot on the map storm around the castle in an angry flurry, probably chasing after Peeves. Filch had always hated Peeves and that much probably hadn't changed since James left Hogwarts fifteen years ago.

But James remembered that Filch had found and confiscated the map right before the Marauders graduated and they never got the chance to get it back. Filch probably locked it up in his office somewhere.

_Well,_ James thought as he made his decision. _The fact that its locked up will only make this more interesting._

He held up his wand and said, "Accio Marauder's Map!"

* * *

Hogwarts was the most amazing thing Harry had ever seen in his life. He hadn't seen much, admittedly, because the Death Eaters didn't let him get out much and when he ran away to live in the muggle world with Rayden, they mostly had to stay indoors so they wouldn't be seen by Death Eaters. But Harry knew that even if he'd traveled all around the world, Hogwarts would still be the most amazing place.

There were moving staircases and portraits that visited and chatted with each other. There were huge stained glass windows that changed colors and ghosts that wandered from corridor to corridor. Harry could barely believe his eyes as he wandered from floor to floor and gazed around at everything. But as amazed as he was with all of it, he couldn't stop worrying about other things.

_Where is Mile? Is he still at the Ministry or did he escape or did he get killed? And if he gets out, where will he go? Will I ever see him again? We weren't the closest of friends but we were all we had for each other after Rayden died...and what about the other horcruxes? There had to be more somewhere,_ Harry was thinking. _And what about that James bloke? He accused me of planning everything with Bellatrix and made me hand over my wand...I only gave him Bellatrix's wand, but he doesn't know that...and then he cut my hand open with the knife and glared at me like he hated me. But then he got knocked unconscious and was much friendlier when he woke up. He kept putting his hands on my face and staring at me..._

Harry leaned over a balcony and looked down at a ghost soaring in the air below. The ghost was mumbling something that sounded like, "...not fully headless...ridiculous...should have told him...hopeless, its all hopeless..."

"Are you alright?" Harry asked.

The ghost looked up at him, startled.

"A student at this part of the castle!" The ghost cried. "Dear me, I haven't seen a student in this part of the castle in ages. Well, yes, I suppose I am alright. However, my request to join the Headless Hunt was denied once again. They said I'm not headless enough. Ridiculous, isn't it?"

Harry had no idea what the ghost was talking about so he just nodded.

"Wait a second...you're not a student here." The ghost inspected Harry. "But your eyes look familiar. I can remember a Gryffindor student who had eyes just like yours. How strange..."

The ghost drifted away, sighing and mumbling to himself.

But something the ghost had said stuck with Harry: "_hopeless...its all hopeless..." _For some reason, that reminded Harry of something. He just wasn't sure what.

* * *

The first thing James did when the Marauder Map came to his room after he summoned it was look for Harry's dot. However, much to James' fright, Harry wasn't in the spare room Dumbledore told him to stay in. James searched the map anxiously, desperate to see where Harry had gone. At last he found the dot labeled _Harry Potter_ walking around in a corridor somewhere downstairs.

James left the room and held the map close to him as he tried to find the corridor Harry was in. To his relief, there didn't seem to be anyone near Harry. The map showed him that the closest person to Harry was himself, and he was only about twenty feet away...

When James finally found Harry, he said, "Didn't Dumbledore tell you not to leave the room?"

Harry jumped in surprise at the sound of James' voice. Then Harry said, "Well, he might have mentioned it."

James grinned.

"Dumbledore also might have mentioned that I should give you some space, but I didn't feel like listening to him." James said. "Although, if you do want me to give you some space, I will."

"Why'd he tell you to give me some space?" Harry asked a bit suspiciously.

_Shit,_ James thought. _I might have said too much._

"Who really knows?" James shrugged, hoping he came off as nonchalant. "Dumbledore is a mystery."

"Did he say how long I have to stay here?" Harry asked.

"No, he didn't." James said. "Where do you plan on going once he lets you leave?"

Harry shrugged and didn't meet James' eye.

"You can't go back to the Death Eaters. They'll kill you." James said.

"I won't." Harry said. The sincerity in his voice relieved James a bit. "How did you find me down here?"

"Using the Marauder's Map." James said.

"What's that?"

"Well, once upon a time there were four - actually, make that _three_ - best friends, and then one little git who followed them around all the time. They were surveyors of aid to magical mischief makers and called themselves the Marauders. Their nicknames were Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. They called themselves the Marauders."

James' heart was pounding at the interested look on Harry's face. This was the moment James had daydreamed about all the time when he was younger; the moment he'd tell his son about the Marauder's Map. After Harry's "death," James thought he'd never get the chance.

But now here he was, standing with Harry, holding the map in his hands.

"They created this map so they could sneak around Hogwarts at night without getting caught." James said. "It shows the names of everyone in the school, including the teachers and ghosts. But along with making the map, they also became Animagi in order to help their friend."

"How would becoming Animagi help their friend?" Harry asked curiously.

"Well, Moony was a werewolf. But he wasn't a bad werewolf like Fenrir Greyback or Ragus Redler. He was a good person with a horrible illness. He had to be locked up in the Shrieking Shack, an old building in Hogsmeade, every full moon. He never told his friends what he was and instead made up excuses for why he had to leave every full moon. But they figured it out. It took them a while but they managed to illegally become Animagi so they could be with him during his transformations."

"They sound like good friends."

"Most of them were." James said. "Except Wormtail turned out to be a pathetic, traitorous scumbag and kidnapped Prongs' son."

"That sucks."

"But its alright, because Prongs found his son eventually and if he ever sees Wormtail he'll use the Cruciatus Curse on him until his head explodes. Because Wormtail is so hopeless, death is too good for him."

Then suddenly a strange expression passed over Harry's face. His green eyes widened and stared off into space, and he looked like he'd just realized something.

"I just remembered something." Harry said. "Something important."

"What is it?" James asked.

Harry looked at James uncertainly and seemed to be deciding whether or not he should tell him.

"Its alright, you can trust me." James said.

"Bellatrix said there's a flare inside of a horcrux that sends out a feeling of hopelessness, and its activated by a Dark Mark on a Death Eater's wrist." Harry said this reluctantly at first, like he wasn't sure if should be telling James all of this. But something about the look in James' eyes must have made Harry trust him, because Harry's voice gradually gained speed and confidence as he continued. "There's a room in Lestrange Manor that's usually locked but I've been in it a few times. Every time I was in there, I felt really hopeless and depressed but I had no idea why. But now I realize there must be a horcrux in there somewhere."

James was both excited by the news and impressed at Harry's cleverness. _My son is a genius,_ James thought. _I always used to tell Sirius that Harry was a genius, back when he was a baby. But Sirius always just laughed and rolled his eyes. Well, I was right. Harry _is_ a genius._

_"_We have to tell Dumbledore." James said.

Harry looked doubtful, so James continued, "Trust me. Dumbledore would know what to do."

Harry continued to look at James for a few moments before nodding. They made their way back up to Dumbledore's office to tell him the news. However, once they arrived in his office, they found it empty.

"Where'd he go?" Harry asked.

James looked around the spacious room, wondering the same thing. But then he saw a paper bird above Dumbledore's desk, flapping its wings anxiously. Written on the bird's head in green ink was James' name. James took the paper bird in his hands; it stopped flapping and unfolded itself. It was a note.

_Dear James, _

_If you are here in my office because you need to talk to me, it will have to wait until I get back. The other Aurors have captured an entire group of Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries and are bringing them to Azkaban. However, they need my help doing this. Also, it seems that there was a full moon last night. Sirius and Remus have both disappeared and that's how Bellatrix Lestrange escaped from the Aurors. I have confidence that both Sirius and Remus are alright. __I'm terribly sorry to run out like this and I do hope you don't need me for anything important. _

_Sincerely, Albus_

"This isn't good." James said.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Dumbledore's gone to help the other Aurors arrest a bunch of Death Eaters." James said. _And Padfoot and Moony are missing,_ he thought. "We'll have to wait until he gets back."

"It can't wait!" Harry said. "We already destroyed two horcruxes, the Death Eaters are probably changing all the hiding places of the other ones. They could be moving the horcrux right now. I'll have to go there myself."

"No, you can't!" James said in alarm. "They'll kill you!"

"They might not be there yet."

"You just said they're probably there right now, moving the horcrux." James said. "So which is it?"

"It doesn't matter! I just have to go there!" Harry said.

"Why? Do you _want_ to go back there?"

"Of course not, but I want Voldemort to die, so I have to get the horcrux!"

"Dumbledore can get it, we just have to wait -"

Harry turned around and started making his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

But Harry had already left. James ran out of Dumbledore's office and chased after Harry down the corridor.

"Stop! Harry, stop!" James said.

He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and tried to carry him back to Dumbledore's office, but Harry thrashed around in James' arms and finally broke free.

"What's the matter with you?" Harry yelled.

"I can't let you do this, okay? I'm sorry." James said, hurt by the angry look in Harry's eyes. "I really don't want to manhandle you but I'm not going to let you run off like that."

"Why are you trying to stop me?" Harry demanded. "You don't even know me!"

James closed his eyes because he couldn't handle the way Harry was glaring at him. Like James was just a stranger to him.

_But I _am_ just a stranger to him__,_ James realized. _He hasn't seen me since he was a year old, so of course he wouldn't remember me. And its not like he knows I'm his dad._

He was so hurt by Harry's anger and worried about Harry's safety that he ended up saying very reluctantly, "Alright...you can go to Lestrange Manor, but I'm coming with you."

Harry's anger was replaced by obvious confusion.

"But...why?" Harry asked. "You could get killed."

"So could you, and that's all I'm really worried about."

This just made Harry even more confused, evidently.

"But _why_?"

"Look, Harry, its just..." James couldn't think of anything else to say besides _'you're my son, you're my baby, and its a miracle you're alive'_ because those words were just dying to burst from his lips. "If we're going to get the horcrux, we really have to hurry."

_This is a terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. Harry could get hurt or worse...  
_

"We need to be fast." James said. "Promise that you'll hurry and that you won't run off while we're there. I'm not going to let you out of my sight, okay?"_  
_

Harry nodded, seemingly confused by how much James cared for him, but not questioning it for the time being.

"Alright, how will we get there?" James wondered aloud. "I highly doubt Lestrange Manor is connected to the Floo network."

"I can Apparate us there." Harry said. "It'll work for me."

"What?" James was both shocked and alarmed by this. "You know how to Apparate?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"You have to be at least seventeen to Apparate."

"So?"

"You _just _turned thirteen!"

"How did you know that?"

"Lucky guess." James brushed off Harry's question. "You shouldn't be Apparating, its very dangerous."

"But I do it all the time." Harry said.

"Oh, that makes it better."

When Harry was a baby, James joked around all the time about all the mischief Harry would probably get up to when he was older. They guessed what kind of rules he'd break. But now that James was hearing about his son Apparating, which was not only against the law but also extremely dangerous, it wasn't as amusing as it had seemed twelve years ago. He was suddenly stricken with worry and it made him feel sick to his stomach.

"How else would we get there then?" Harry said. "There's no other way."

"How about we just don't go at all?" James suggested. But when he saw the look on Harry's face he said, "Alright, alright. We'll Apparate there, although its extremely dangerous and if you get splinched, I'm taking you to Saint Mungo's and personally making sure you never attempt to Apparate ever again. Agreed?"

"Agreed." The corners of Harry's mouth twitched like he was holding back a smile.

"Why are you trying not to smile?" James asked, always observant.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"I'm really not."

"Sure, whatever you say." James smirked. "Well, back to the point, if we're going to Apparate, we can't do it inside the castle. We have to get past the grounds and outside the safety of the wards."

"But didn't Dumbledore tell us not to be seen by anyone?" Harry reminded him. "If we just walk out the door, won't loads of people see us?"

"Yes, they would. That's exactly why we're not going to walk out the front door." James smiled mysteriously. "Also, you don't strike me as the type of person who listens to Dumbledore, so what does it matter?"

Harry grinned and James grinned back, his heart swarming with butterflies.

_My heart is pounding, _James thought._ My heart feels all warm and fuzzy, and there are butterflies in my stomach. I'm turning into a 12 year old girl. What happened to me?  
_

Then he looked at Harry, who was tiredly rubbing at his eyes with the back of his bandaged hand, and he looked so adorable and innocent that James had to try s_o_ hard not to hug him.

_Oh, now I remember. _Harry_ is what happened to me._

James led Harry towards a secret passageway that was labeled on the Marauder's Map a few corridors below, being careful not to let Harry see his own name on the map. Surely if Harry saw himself labeled as _Harry Potter_ while _James Potter_ was standing next to him, he'd put two and two together.

Even though a part of James wanted to let that happen.

They sneaked out of the castle using the secret passageway and ended up at the edge of the grounds by the forest. James' heart was hammering with fear at what they were about to do. He desperately tried to block out thoughts of Harry getting splinched or killed by Death Eaters and with each step he took away from the castle, he hated himself more and more.

_Why am I going through with this? I just got Harry back. I could lose him again._

"What's wrong?" Harry looked up at him.

James had no idea that Harry had been staring at him.

"I really don't want to do this." James answered honestly.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to." Harry said.

"There is no way in hell I'm letting you go alone." James said. "I'd go by myself and let you stay here if I thought you'd listen to me. But there's no stopping you, is there?"

"No, there isn't." Harry said, seemingly trying not to smile again.

_He's a lot like Lily,_ James noticed.

"Well, we better just get this over with." James said once they were out of the protection of the wards. "Remember what I said. Don't run off while we're there. Stay close to me. And we really need to hurry, alright?"

Harry nodded and held out his hand. James took it, thrilled by the feeling of Harry's hand wrapped inside his own after twelve long years of being apart. Once again, James marveled at Harry's face, awestruck by his very presence. But James didn't have much time to stare because soon he felt the familiar tug of Apparition behind his navel and everything started spinning.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, guys. :) Please review, it will make me very very happy and motivated to write more. :D**


	15. I run in the dark looking for some light

**Author's note: Congrats, you guys. This is the longest chapter yet. Its like, super duper long. Three times longer than some of the other chapters. I hope you like it. Please review. :D  
**

* * *

_Dancing bears_  
_Painted wings_  
_Things I almost remember_  
_And a song someone sings_  
_Once upon a December_

_Someone holds me safe and warm_  
_Horses prance through a silver storm_  
_Figures dancing gracefully_  
_Across my memory_

_Far away, long ago_  
_Things I yearn to remember_  
_And a song someone sings_  
_Once upon a December_

* * *

When they plummeted to the ground in front of Lestrange Manor, James landed flat on his feet. But Harry ended up stumbling onto the grass dizzily, having not yet mastered how to land gracefully after Apparating. James reached out and held Harry's arm, steadying him on his feet.

"So this is it." James said, looking up at the huge, gloomy mansion just twenty feet away from them.

"Yeah." Harry said, his stomach doing flipflops in fear. What if there were Death Eaters in there? What if they locked Harry up in the dungeons and never let him out again? What if they killed him? Or what if they killed James? If they killed James, it would be all Harry's fault. "This is it."

Harry nervously took a step forward but James grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Wait," James said. "Dumbledore said the other Aurors captured a bunch of Death Eaters, but Bellatrix Lestrange and a few others are still running free. They could be in there. Can you tell if anyone is in there right now?"

Harry looked up at the house with its stone walls laced with vines and its dark windows looking back like they eyes of a monster. He felt like the house was a living, breathing creature that was going to swallow him whole. Harry tried to take deep calming breaths as he looked for some sign that would tell if the Lestranges were home.

"Well...there's no lights on." Harry said hopefully. "Maybe they're not in there."

"Or maybe they're sleeping. Just hanging upside down from the ceiling in there, like bats." James said, hoping it would get Harry to smile a little bit. "That's how I always imagined Death Eaters would sleep."

That got Harry to crack a smile, as James had intended.

"Well, let's get this over with." James took a deep breath.

Harry nodded in agreement. And as they started to walk towards the manor, Harry wondered where Mile was, and if he was alright.

* * *

Mile panted as he leaned against the wall of a brick building somewhere in London. The nights events had played out so randomly and unexpectedly, it almost seemed like a dream. They destroyed a horcrux, pissed off Bellatrix and the Dark Lord, and then Mile got tortured by Kyro before a giant wolf came and threw Kyro down. Oh, and then a dog pushed the wolf away from Kyro. What the hell was that?

Mile wondered where Harry was and if he was okay. If Bellatrix caught Harry, she was probably killing him right now.

_Fuck,_ Mile thought. _That's not good._

Mile and Harry had never been best friends and they didn't always get along, but after Rayden died, they had to look out for each other since Rayden was no longer there to look out for them. If Rayden was alive, he'd be pissed if Mile just let Bellatrix kill Harry without trying to save him.

Also, Mile now knew that _he had a father._ And his father wasn't a Death Eater, either. He was the head of the Auror Department and he was alive. Mile wasn't even sure how to react to this. He was so shocked that he felt temporarily numb.

But there was still the matter of Harry. Should Mile go looking for Harry or should he just worry about himself for the time being?

Mile thought about getting up and going to find the old flat that Rayden bought a few years ago, when they all ran away to hide in the city. He thought about living there and just staying there for the rest of his life, or at least until Voldemort was defeated. He'd be safe there, but he'd be cut off from the rest of the world.

But then he thought about what Harry had said: _"Mile, we have the chance to take down Voldemort. We can't just run away. Besides, the Death Eaters would find us if we tried to run. They always do. We'll never be safe, not as long as Voldemort is alive."_

Harry had just fought against Bellatrix and the Death Eaters, the only family he'd ever known, despite the fact that they could have killed him. He'd risked his life to destroy a horcrux. And what had Mile done? Complained the entire time about how they should just run away like cowards.

_Harry is ten times braver than me, and he's years younger,_ Mile thought. _How pathetic of me._

Sighing, Mile stood up, knowing what he had to do.

_Alright. If I were Harry, where would I be?_ Mile wondered. _Oh right. I forgot. Harry is as unpredictable as a tornado. _

He tried another approach.

_Alright, if I were Bellatrix Lestrange and I wanted to look for Harry so I could kill him, where's the first place I'd go?_ Mile wondered. _Downtown London...other parts of the Ministry...Lestrange Manor?_

Mile thought about that for a moment Lestrange Manor was probably the last place Harry would want to go. Mile couldn't imagine Harry going there. But that's what made Mile think that Harry might be there. Harry was unpredictable and random, so in order to find him, you'd have to think backwards. The last place he'd want to be is probably be the best place to look for him.

_Fine. Lestrange Manor it is._ Mile thought before he Apparated.

* * *

James' first thoughts upon entering the manor were, '_So this is how the other half lives...sucks for them.'_

The house was extravagant and flashy with too much artwork and strange statues. But although it was very extravagant, it was still gloomy. It looked like the world's most depressing museum. James tried not to waste any time looking around and immediately looked at Harry and said, "Where's the room with the horcrux?"

"Upstairs." Harry answered, looking around the house nervously. Fearfully.

"I'm not going to let them hurt you." James tried to assure Harry, although he was still trying to assure himself. James' stomach was in knots and every little noise he heard sounded like the footsteps of a Death Eater coming to kill Harry. And although he was worried himself, he said, "Don't worry."

"There might be traps." Harry said.

"What?"

"I think I remember Bellatrix saying something about them before. There are traps all around the manor that can be activated by any Death Eater." Harry said. "They might not be activated right now. But still..."

"Let's just find the horcrux and get out of here." James said.

Harry nodded in agreement.

"The room with the horcrux is right up the stairs." Harry said.

Then he took off running up the grand staircase, his footsteps thudding loudly against each step. James ran after him, trying to make his footsteps as quiet as possible.

"Harry, wait!" James whispered loudly. Harry stopped at the top of the stairs and waited for James to catch up. Once James reached the top, he said, "Could you run a bit louder? There might be a few Death Eaters fifty miles away that didn't hear you."

Harry laughed and made his way down the hall. James shook his head and sighed, but smiled at the sound of Harry's laughter.

"I think its this room here..." Harry said, stopping in front of a mahogany door with a crystal knob.

Harry put his hand on the knob but as soon as he did, the floor started to vibrate and a low, magnetic rumble came from somewhere in the walls. Harry jumped back from the door, eyes widening in surprise. James ran forward and grabbed Harry by the shoulders protectively.

"What's happening?" James asked.

"It must be one of the traps." Harry said.

"But if the traps are activated, a Death Eater must be here." James' heart was beating frantically in his chest. He gripped Harry's shoulders so hard his knuckles turned white.

Everything went dark. The floor dropped out from beneath James' feet and he felt his hands being ripped away from Harry's shoulders before he spiraled downward into blackness.

* * *

When the lights came back on, Harry was alone in the hallway.

"James?" Harry called. "Where'd you go?"

His heart pounded anxiously. How could James have just disappeared within a few seconds? What kind of trap was that? Harry desperately wanted to go find James, but what if he ran into a Death Eater instead? Feeling alone and worried and scared out of his mind, Harry reached for the doorknob to the room again and found that he could actually open the door this time.

As he pushed the door open, he wasn't sure what he was expecting to be inside, but he was imagining something horrible. However, when he saw that the room was just somebody's office, he was a bit relieved. The room had wood paneled walls that were lined with bookshelves, and a big desk that was covered with pieces of parchment and bottles of ink.

Harry only had to take a few steps into the room before he felt it: the feeling of hopelessness. The Dark Mark on Harry's arm must have activated it.

He quickly ran towards the desk and started rummaging through the doors, hoping to find the horcrux before the feeling of hopelessness made Harry too weak to move. At last, he found something sitting at the bottom of a drawer: a black ring. Harry reached down and touched the ring and immediately felt that familiar cold electricity that identified the ring as a horcrux.

_That was fast,_ Harry thought, relieved. _Now I just have to find James and get out of here. But where could he have gone?_

Harry was about to leave the room but was distracted by a strange silvery light coming from a cabinet behind the desk. Without knowing why, Harry made his way toward it. After opening the cabinet, he found a black basin filled to the brim with a glowing silvery water.

_A pensieve,_ Harry realized. He'd read about these things in a book before.

Below the cabinet was a row of drawers. On one of the drawers the words '_Junior Death Eaters' _were written in green ink. Curiosity getting the better of him, Harry pulled out his wand and said, "_Alohomora."_

The drawer slid open, revealing stacks of papers and rows of little vials of glowing liquid. Harry guessed the vials of glowing liquid were containers of memories that were supposed to be poured into the pensieve.

Harry dropped to his knees and started sifting through the stacks of paper. Written on the papers were mostly just names of people Harry didn't know, but then finally one name jumped out at him halfway through the pile: _Mile Scrimgeour._

Mile _Scrimgeour?_

Harry took the paper out of the drawer and flipped it over. On the back was a picture of Harry's roommate Mile. In the picture, Mile looked about four years old. Harry read what was written below the picture:

_Mile Scrimgeour. _

_Birth date: April 9th, 1976. _

_Parents: __Marie Solven, ex-Auror. Deceased as of April 30th, 1976. Killed by Rodolphus Lestrange for not joining the Death Eaters.  
_

_Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of Auror Department. Still alive.  
_

Harry could barely believe what he was seeing. So Mile's parents hadn't been Death Eaters. Mile's mother had been an Auror and Mile's father was still alive. He was that Auror Harry had talked to at the Ministry.

Harry continued rummaging through the drawer to see what else he could find. Was there anything about himself there? Finally, he found a folder labeled '_Harry' _in black ink.

Harry opened the folder and found only one paper. It looked as if there _used_ to be paragraphs written on the paper, but whatever was written there had been crossed out multiple times, leaving behind a mess of black scribbles. Why had it all been crossed out? Harry flipped the paper over to see if there was anything on the back.

There _was_ something on the back. The words _"Vial 7: Extremely Confidential."_

_Vial 7?,_ Harry thought.

He started looking through the rows of vials in the drawer, reading the labels on the sides, trying to find Vial 7. At last he found it at the very back. He stood up, removed the cover from the vial and poured it into the pensieve. The pensieve began to glow even brighter and swirled around like a whirlpool. Harry took a deep breath and stuck his head under the water. Then the room dropped out from beneath him and he was falling forward into a memory...

* * *

Harry landed on his feet in the middle of a dark room he didn't recognize.

"My lord." A man said.

The trembling voice carried across the dark, cavernous room and echoed off the walls. A stubby man with watery eyes and grayish skin entered the room, holding a bundle in his arms.

"My - my lord," The man stuttered. "I-I have the ch-child you requested."

Lord Voldemort looked down at the man who was slowly crossing the room, and smiled with grim amusement as the man shook with fear. Bellatrix Lestrange swooped out of the shadows and grabbed the bundle from the man's arms. He dropped to his knees in front of Voldemort's feet and wept silently.

As this was all happening, Harry stood there, his legs locked in place by his own terror. _Lord Voldemort_ was right in front of him_._

_But its not really Voldemort,_ Harry thought, trying to steady the beating of his heart. _Its just a memory of him._

"You have done well, Peter." Voldemort said. "I must admit, I wasn't expecting you to actually go through with the plan. I thought your cowardice nature would have made you back out at the last minute...you proved me wrong."

The man on the floor continued to weep. As Harry watched, he remembered who the man was. It was Peter Pettigrew, who was more like a slave than a Death Eater. Harry had never talked to him but he'd seen him around, scrubbing the dungeons and being bossed around by the other Death Eaters.

"You're dismissed, Peter." Voldemort snapped.

Peter stood up and quickly fled the room.

"My lord," Bellatrix looked at Voldemort's horrible face. "What if...what if you don't kill the boy? What if we keep him, use him, for our own cause? We could raise him to be like us."

A cold chill ran down Harry's spine and he felt like someone had just dumped ice water over his head as he realized what was happening in front of him. He suddenly knew what the bundle in Bellatrix's arms was. It was a baby. But it wasn't just any baby. It was_ him_.

"Keep him?" Voldemort sneered.

"Yes, master." Bellatrix said. "You see, this boy supposedly has a lot of power. What if we used his power for our own benefit? We could keep him for ourselves and teach him the ways of the Dark Arts."

Harry realized that he was watching the moment Bellatrix had always told him about when she was angry: the moment she persuaded Voldemort not to kill him when he was a baby.

"And what will happen if the boy's parents find him?" Voldemort said coldly.

"They never will!" Bellatrix said. "We can tell the boy his parents were Death Eaters that were killed by Aurors, make him believe that he was born to be one of us. We'll never let him out in public and when he's older and goes to Death Eater meetings, we'll make him wear the mask at all times. I am only thinking in our best interests, my lord."

Voldemort looked down at her.

"Let me see the boy." He demanded.

Bellatrix handed over baby Harry and Voldemort held him in his lap. However, there was nothing affectionate about the way Voldemort was holding him. The red eyes looked down at the baby in disdain, and the bright green eyes looked back up at the snake-like face curiously.

As thirteen year old Harry watched this happening, he felt intensely freaked out that he had once sat in Voldemort's lap when he was a baby.

"I suppose we could try to raise him as a Junior Death Eater, along with the other children we kidnapped." Voldemort said almost casually. "As an...experiment."

Voldemort handed baby Harry back over to Bellatrix.

"You had better pray that he grows up to be like us." Voldemort said. "You will be the one who has to raise him, and you will pay for any mistakes he might make in the future."

Harry's mind was reeling. _I was kidnapped,_ he thought. _My parents weren't Death Eaters. Bellatrix lied to me. But if the Menaciums weren't my parents...then who was?_

He hoped that Bellatrix or Voldemort would mention the names of Harry's real parents before the memory ended, but suddenly everything started getting blurry. The colors bled into each other and everything looked all distorted. Then there was a great flash of light that almost blinded Harry's eyes, and when the light faded away, he was standing in a different room.

Harry looked around in confusion. Gone were the dark walls and shadowy corners. The room was now bright and golden with huge windows covered with red drapes, letting in the pink glow of sunset. The room was full of people and comfortable looking red couches.

The memory had changed. Harry realized there must have been more than one memory in the vial.

Sitting on one couch was a young man around twenty one years old with streaks of gray in his light brown hair that seemed unusual with his young face. He sat there quietly drinking a cup of tea and trying to read the Daily Prophet. However, a handsome young man with dark hair kept enchanting things to fly at the other's head from the armchair where he sat.

Harry recognized the dark haired man from somewhere. He remembered seeing him before. After thinking about it for a moment, Harry remembered that he'd seen the man at the Department of Mysteries. He was one of the Aurors.

Rufus Scrimgeour - _Mile's father_ - had started spluttering at Harry angrily. Then the dark haired man said to Harry, "_What my always-articulate, eloquent colleague is trying to say is that we can't just let you take the horcrux and go. You see, we're Aurors, which means we're against Voldemort."_

The man with gray-streaked hair looked up and snapped, "Sirius, would you stop enchanting things to fly at me?"

"Sorry, mate, I can't." The dark haired man, Sirius, replied breezily. "I'm practicing charmwork. You know how much studying means to me, Remus."

"That's bull, Sirius." Remus frowned. "You're just trying to be annoying."

"You should know for a fact that I don't have to _try_ to be annoying." Sirius smiled. "It comes naturally."

"That I can believe." Remus said, looking back down at his paper.

Another man came into Harry's view. He was fidgeting in a chair at the corner of the room, wringing his hands uncomfortably as his watery eyes darted around like he didn't know what he should look at. Harry recognized the man as Peter from the previous memory. The one who'd brought Harry to Voldemort when he was a baby.

"Peter, why do you look so nervous?" Sirius asked. "You look like we're back at Hogwarts and McGonagall is lecturing you for messing up in class."

Peter tried to laugh but it sounded like he was being strangled.

Suddenly, the door to the room banged open. Harry jumped in surprise just as Peter nearly fell out of his chair in fear.

"Lily has gone mad!" A man exclaimed as he rushed into the room. When the man slumped down onto a couch, Harry instantly recognized him as a twenty-one year old James.

He didn't look much different in the memory than he did in the present. There was the same messy hair, hazel eyes and arrogant smile that Harry had come to know over the past day. Except in the present he was paler and had shadows under his eyes that came from sleepless nights.

"What's she doing now?" Sirius chuckled.

"Oh nothing, just completely going crazy." James replied. "Trying to get me to come to visit her psychotic sister with her."

Sirius winced sympathetically.

"Just explain to her that you don't feel like going." Remus said.

"Are you out of your mind, Remus?" James said. "I can't let Lily go alone. Those crazy muggles might sacrifice her to some muggle cult."

"I seriously doubt it." Remus said.

"Hey!" Sirius stood up. "Was that a pun on my name?"

"No, it wasn't." Remus sighed.

James looked over at Peter who was a nervous wreck in the corner.

"What's wrong with you?" James asked him. "Is McGonagall here? Did she lecture you?"

Sirius laughed while Remus rolled his eyes.

Just then the door opened and a pretty red haired woman entered, holding a baby in her arms.

"James, he keeps crying. I think he wants you." The woman said. "Here, come see daddy."

She handed the baby to James, who grinned and held the baby against his chest.

"What's wrong, Harry? Did she tell you she wants to take you to see her sister?" James laughed.

Thirteen year old Harry's heart skipped a beat. His mind stopped working properly. Everything else faded away and Harry couldn't see anything except James holding the baby in his arms, the baby he had called Harry.

_Is that me?_ Harry thought anxiously. _Is that me? Is that me? _

He could barely breathe. His heart was beating excitedly against his ribcage.

"Lily, you can't take Harry to see your wretched sister!" Sirius stood up. "Lil, you know I love and respect you, but I think you might have hit your head on something, because that's a ridiculous idea and as Harry's godfather, I won't stand for it. Your sister will sacrifice Harry to a muggle cult."

"Exactly!" James agreed. "Who knows what kind of muggle cults Petunia is a part of?"

"What is with you two and muggle cults?" Remus shook his head.

"I don't like her either, but she can't _not_ meet her nephew." Lily said. "I don't want to meet her son either, but I'm going to, because its what our mother would have wanted!"

"Harry, tell your mum to calm down." James said to the baby.

"COM DOW!" The baby shouted.

James and Sirius roared with laughter. Lily tried very hard not to.

"He spends way too much time with you." She said as she shook her head. "If you're not careful about what you say around him, he's going to be cussing soon."

"Lil, what kind of a dad do you think I am? I would _never_ teach Harry to cuss." James tried to smile sweetly but instead it looked more like a smirk.

"Oh, sure. Well, I'm going to visit Arabella. I'll be back in an hour." Lily rolled her eyes and started for the door. But before she left the room she turned back and yelled, "And remember, _behave!_"

"Lily is so dramatic, thinking I'd teach Harry how to swear." James said. "You don't swear, do you, Harry?"

"BUG ROFF!" The baby yelled.

"Did he just say 'bugger off'?" Sirius looked both shocked and impressed.

"Oh no, James. You'd _never_ teach Harry to swear." Remus chuckled.

"So I might have cussed in front of him a few times." James grinned. Then he looked the baby in the eyes and said, "Don't say that, Harry. If Mummy hears you, I'll be screwed."

"Skood!" The baby repeated him.

James laughed and kissed the baby's cheek.

"I better be going now." Peter stood up quickly. "I - I just remembered that I have to g-go somewhere."

And with that, Peter rushed out the door. The memory faded to white before changing again.

Although the memory had changed, the room was the same. But this time, the curtains were drawn and it appeared to be nighttime. Sirius, Remus, and a tall black man Harry didn't recognize were all sitting on the couches while James sat in an armchair holding the baby in his lap.

_Is that baby me? Is James...my dad?_ Harry tried to steady his breathing but he felt like he was about to hyperventilate. _He called the baby 'Harry' but that doesn't mean its _me_, does it? Harry is a common name.  
_

But then Harry thought about how James had been treating him.

James had seemed very angry and confused when he saw Harry's face. Then when Harry told James his name, James had said, "What's your _real_ name? Your name can't be Harry, that's impossible." He'd accused Harry of conspiring with Bellatrix.

_But then later on, after James woke up, he put his hands on my face and kept staring at me like he was seeing an angel or something, _Harry thought.

_And he had seemed so upset with himself after cutting my hand, and said he'd never forgive himself for it..._

_And when my eyes were watering after Madam Pomfrey poked me in the eye, he thought I was crying and seemed so worried..._

_He didn't want to let me come to Lestrange Manor because he didn't want me to get hurt..._

_Dumbledore told James to give me some space, and said James had taken a liking to me. And after he said that, he smiled like there was some private joke..._

_And James didn't want me to Apparate because its dangerous..._

_And when I was at the Department of Mysteries, McNaughton kept calling me 'James'..._

_Now that I think about it, James and I _do_ look alike...we definitely have the same hair..._

_And that red haired woman who just left the room...we have the same eyes._

Thirteen year old Harry felt this strange emotion in his stomach that he'd never felt before. It was strange and unfamiliar but warm and pleasant. His heart was thumping with excitement, there were butterflies in his stomach. He could barely breathe. _  
_

"Voldemort is on the move." The black man said. "There have been reports of muggles seeing him around the Belgium countryside. He's making his way back to England right now."

"But Kingsley, what was he doing in Belgium?" Remus asked. "Does anybody know?"

"Recruiting, possibly." Kingsley shrugged. "That's the only guess anyone can come up with."

"This is such a dark subject. Shall we talk about something less serious?" Sirius suggested. "And no, that was not a pun on my name!"

"Any time anybody says the word 'serious' you automatically assume its a pun, and every time _you_ say the word 'serious' you feel the need to make sure everybody knows you're not making a pun." Remus rolled his eyes. "There's no need for it. We _know_ you're not making a pun about your name."

"Yeah, Sirius. Nobody would ever make a pun about your name. Seriously, who would do that?" James grinned. "And I'm being serious."

Sirius grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and was about to throw it at James but stopped when he saw that baby Harry was in James' lap.

"Oh, sure. Use your kid as a shield." Sirius said. "That's _low_, James. That's very low."

"Harry's been in my lap long before you wanted to throw something at me so I'm hardly using him as a shield." James said. "And if you wanted to throw something at me, I wouldn't even_ need _a shield. Your aim is terrible."

"It is not!"

"It is too. Remember the time you tried out to be Chaser for the Gryffindor team?" James snickered.

"Do you hear this, kid?" Sirius looked down at baby Harry. "Do you hear what your dad is saying to your favorite godfather?"

_My dad,_ Harry thought in awe. _James is my dad. And Sirius is my godfather.  
_

"You're his _only_ godfather, git." James said.

"If he had more than one, I'd still be his favorite, prat." Sirius said as took baby Harry from James' lap and picked him up. "And just for that, I'm kidnapping him."

Peter made a nervous squeaking sound when Sirius said 'kidnapping.' Everyone looked over at him.

"Why are you so nervous?" James asked.

"I'm - I'm not nervous, I just have t-to go." Peter stood up and rushed for the door.

_And Peter is the reason why I've never known them._

The memory changed again.

Sirius, Remus and Peter were all seated around a kitchen table as James knelt in front of a highchair watching baby Harry eat.

"Eat the cereal, Harry." James said.

Harry blinked back at James innocently. Then Harry grabbed a handful of Cheerios and stuffed his fist in his mouth, seeming to think you had to stick your hand in your mouth in order to feed yourself. James smiled.

"James is smitten with that kid." Sirius stage whispered to Remus. "But don't tell him I said that."

James grabbed threw an empty cereal box at Sirius' head.

"Wait until you have kids, Sirius." Remus said as he smiled. "Then you'll understand."

"Me? Have kids? You're barking mad." Sirius leaned back in his chair. "James, enough is enough. I love Harry but if you keep staring at him, your eyes are going to fall out. And if Harry sees your eyes fall out, it'll traumatize him. I'm only trying to look out for the kid."

James lifted Harry out of the highchair and said, "Harry, what animal can Sirius turn into?"

"A dwog."

"No, Harry, I asked what animal _Sirius_ is, not what his _mum_ is."

Even Sirius had to crack up laughing at that. Baby Harry laughed along, although he was too young to understand the joke and had no idea why it was funny.

"If I didn't hate my mum, I'd hex you." Sirius chuckled.

Harry handed out a fistful of Cheerios, wet from being inside his mouth, to James. James said, "No thanks, Harry. _You_ eat them."

Then Harry reached up with saliva-covered hands and started tugging at James' hair.

"You like my hair?" James smirked. "One day, son, this will all be yours."

Thirteen year old Harry reached up and touched his own hair.

"_One day_?" Sirius scoffed. "Harry already has more hair than you."

"Lily wanted to cut his hair but I begged her not to." James said.

"James Potter, Pompous Git of the Twentieth Century, _begged_?" Sirius laughed. "I wish I could have seen that."

"Why didn't you want Lily to cut it?" Remus asked Harry.

"Because then how would we give Harry Mohawks?" Sirius answered for James. "Lily is getting out of control. First she tries to cut my hair, and now she's trying to cut Harry's hair? She has to be stopped, James, I swear. You need to just tell her - _whoa,_ hey there, Lil. When did you get here?"

Standing in the doorway was Lily, glaring at Sirius.

Harry's heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he looked at her. _That's my mother,_ Harry realized. _She's _not _an old, creepy looking Death Eater who was killed by Aurors ages ago, like Margret Mendacium. She's pretty and she's the same age as James, so if she's still alive she must still be fairly young, they're probably only in their early thirties.  
_

Harry crossed the room and stood next to Lily, gazing at her in awe. He reached out and touched her shoulder but she didn't react to him at all, it was as if he wasn't even there.

_Because I'm _not_ even here, _Harry thought. _I'm just watching something that already happened._

"James, can I talk to you for a minute?" Lily said coldly.

"Oooh, someone's in trouble." Sirius chuckled.

James looked into baby Harry's eyes and said, "Harry, Mummy is probably going to kill me for some reason, so before I die I just want you to know that I love you. Goodbye, son."

And with that, James handed Harry over to Remus before following Lily out of the room as Sirius laughed.

Thirteen year old Harry followed them into the drawing room.

"Lily, you know Sirius was only kidding. And even if he wasn't, don't kill _me_ for it. Kill _him._" James said once he and Lily were alone.

"James, there's something important I need to tell you and it can't wait, because I've been meaning to say it for a while now, but I just don't know how to." Lily bit her lip.

Thirteen year old Harry moved closer to them, desperate to hear every word.

"What is it?" James asked.

"Its - its about Peter." Lily said, running a hand through her long red hair. "He's acting strange."

"Peter _is_ strange. He was born that way, you know he can't help it." James smirked.

"No, James, I'm being serious. And don't even make a pun about Sirius' name. Now is not the time. Peter is acting strange, and I mean stranger than usual. Its really starting to creep me out and I'm not sure if I trust him. I know he's been your friend for ten years, but something's not right with him." Lily dropped her voice to a whisper so Harry had to take a few steps closer to hear what she said next. "He always stares at Harry."

"So what? Harry's adorable, everyone stares at him."

"Yes, but Peter stares at him in a different way. He stares at him like...like...I don't even know, its just scary."

"I've never seen Peter stare at Harry before."

"That's because you yourself are too busy staring at Harry to notice the way other people stare at Harry. You're doing it right now, James. You're looking at Harry as I'm talking to you."

Thirteen year old Harry gasped when he realized that James _was_ staring at him, with a smile on his face. _He can see me?,_ Harry thought as his heart started pounding.

But then Harry turned around and saw the baby version of himself in Remus' arms through the kitchen doorway, right in James' line of vision.

_Oh. Right._ Harry thought, feeling stupid.

"Please, James. Just pay more attention to Peter from now on and you'll see what I mean. Notice the way he stares at Harry and try to tell me it isn't strange." Lily said. "I can't believe you haven't already noticed. You're twice as overprotective about Harry as I am, and yet you still haven't seen the way Peter acts around him."

_They're overprotective about me._ Harry thought, the warm and pleasant feeling tickling his stomach again. _They really care about me._.._or at least they _did _care about me in the past, when I was a baby._

At that moment, Peter Pettigrew came into the room and said, "J-James, Lily, I must be going now. I'm running late for an appointment."

As Peter left, the memory changed again. Harry realized that he must be witnessing Peter's memories, because they changed every time he left.

In Peter's next memory, they were in a different place. The room was dim and dank, with a long table with almost two dozen people sitting around it. A man Harry recognized as Rufus Scrimgeour, only much younger, was saying something along the lines of, "The attacks on the muggle neighborhoods...protective wards...Voldemort gaining power..." Harry realized it must be an Order of the Phoenix meeting.

Harry saw Lily and James, _his parents,_ sitting together towards the end of the table. Sirius was right beside them, dangling a pair of keys and making baby Harry, who was in James' arms, try to snatch them. One time he actually did manage to grab the keys, and Sirius said, "This kid could be a Seeker."

"Would you pay attention down there?" Scrimgeour snapped.

"Sorry, Professor McGonagall." James rolled his eyes.

"What was that, James?" The real Professor McGonagall turned around in her chair and glared at him.

"When did you get here?" James and Sirius both exclaimed at the same time.

"She got here ten minutes ago. Both of you would have noticed if you'd stopped playing with Harry." Scrimgeour said grumpily.

"We weren't _playing_ with Harry." Sirius scoffed. "We were discussing tactics for killing Voldemort. Harry's going to defeat old No-Nose someday, anyway. We should all just listen to what Harry has to say about this."

"Really? What could a one-year-old tell us that's so important?" Scrimgeour said.

Baby Harry started to suck his thumb. A couple of people laughed and said "_awww,_" much to Scrimgeour's annoyance.

"Can we get back on topic, please?" Scrimgeour said harshly.

Everyone turned back around and started listening to Scrimgeour talk again. James whispered, "Don't worry, Harry. Scrimgeour is just jealous because you get more attention than him."

"And you talk better than him, too." Sirius whispered.

Baby Harry continued to suck his thumb and looked back and forth from James to Sirius, having no idea what they were talking about.

"You two really need to pay attention. I feel like we're back at Hogwarts again." Lily whispered to them, but she was smiling, and her eyes were also on baby Harry.

James laughed quietly and kissed baby Harry's cheek. Thirteen year old Harry reached up and touched his own cheek, as if trying to see if he could feel the kiss there after twelve years. His heart was fluttering and he could practically feel their affection for him radiating off of their bodies. But something was troubling him.

Why hadn't James told Harry he was his son?

Twelve years is such a long time. Was it long enough to break the love James once felt? Is that why James hadn't told Harry who he was?

Harry was distracted from asking himself that painful question when he saw Peter Pettigrew slowly enter the room. He seemed to be trying not to let anyone know he was late for the meeting, because he was trying to tiptoe towards the empty chair next to James and Sirius. However, the graceless man tripped over the edge of the carpet and stumbled loudly. Everyone looked over at him.

"Why're you so late, Pettigrew?" Scrimgeour groaned.

"S-s-sorry, I was just -" Peter started to stutter.

But Scrimgeour had already continued talking about the Order's plans again, not even bothering to listen to Peter's excuse.

As Peter made his way to a seat, he knelt beside James and smiled and said to baby Harry, "Hello Harry."

Baby Harry continued to suck his thumb and glared at Peter. Peter moved a bit closer, and baby Harry buried his head in James' chest. Peter seemed to get the hint that Harry was afraid of him and decided to just sit down in the chair next to Sirius.

_Its like I knew, somehow._ Thirteen year old Harry thought. _Its like I knew what Peter was going to eventually do..._

"And now, I'm about to move onto something a bit shocking and unsettling." Scrimgeour said.

"As if Voldemort gaining more power and murdering a bunch of muggles isn't shocking and unsettling?" Someone said.

"This is even more unsettling, because its personal." Scrimgeour said. "A couple of you have been suspecting it for a while now, and now we have legitimate proof: there's a spy in the Order."

There was a ripple of murmurs and whispers all around the room, mixed with accusatory and disbelieving stares. Everyone's reactions were written on their faces as they looked up and down the table: _could it be him? Could it be her? Could it be the person sitting next to me?_ But some people just scoffed at Scrimgeour, like they thought he was joking.

"Who is it?" Someone cried. "Who could it be?"

"That's nonsense!" A man said. "Nobody here would join Voldemort."

As this went on, Peter stayed very still in his chair and didn't meet anyone's eye, but James glared at the side of Peter's head. Peter continuously gulped nervously, as if he could feel James' stare. Lily noticed that James was glaring at Peter, and she leaned over and whispered in James' ear, "So you've finally noticed the way Peter's been acting."

James nodded.

"Do you think its him?" Lily whispered.

James apparently couldn't think of anything to say. Sirius looked over at them and saw the angry stares on their faces. Then he followed their gaze and noticed that they were looking at Peter. Comprehension dawned on his face as he realized what was going on.

"You think Peter's the spy?" Sirius whispered to James. "I mean, you're giving him the most impressive death glare I've ever seen."

Thirteen year old Harry stared at Peter, too, and tried to see if he heard what his friends were whispering about him. Whether Peter heard them or not, it was impossible to tell. Though his hands shook as he gripped the edge of his chair, his face was impassive.

There was a flash of white light and the memory changed.

"You're the spy, Peter, aren't you?"

James words were like a brandishing whip, making Peter flinch in fear. They were standing in a hallway somewhere, but the portraits on the walls and the golden chandeliers made Harry think they were in someone's manor. James was standing in front of the only door, and Peter looked like he was going to pass out from fear.

"I d-d-don't know what you're t-talking about, J-J-James."

"There's no point in lying. I already know. It explains a lot, actually. Why you always wear long sleeves, always suddenly leaving to go to some appointment, always late for Order meetings. I just don't get why Voldemort would want _you_ as a spy. You're piss poor at being inconspicuous. My god, the number of times we got caught sneaking around at Hogwarts because of you." James said, taking a step closer to Peter. Peter took a step back. "But what I really want to know is why _you_ chose to betray us."

"I'm sorry!" Peter yelled, his eyes red with tears. "I truly am! But he's getting so powerful and there's no point in trying to fight him!"

"There's no point?" James scoffed, his voice surprisingly calm. "There's no point trying to stop the most evil wizard who ever lived?"

"Anyone who tries to stop him ends up dead, we've all seen it happen to the best of wizards! He can't be stopped, so we might as well join him!" Peter said. "And I can't help but thinking that You-Know-Who might be right about some things -"

Peter was suddenly thrown against the wall, with James' hand closed around his throat.

"Voldemort kills innocent people! He wants to kill Harry!" James had lost his calmness and now seemed ready to strangle Peter right then and there. "He wants to kill _my son,_ Peter! He's only a year old and Voldemort wants to kill him! Tell me, do you think Voldemort is right about that? Do you think Voldemort is right in wanting to kill Harry?"

"I don't think it's right -"

"No, SHUT UP! You already made your decision!" With great effort, James released his grip on Peter's throat, making the latter slump down to the floor, gasping for air. "GET UP!" Peter obeyed, quickly getting to his feet. "I'd kill you right now but I don't feel like cleaning your blood off the floor. But if I ever see you on the street, I _will_ kill you. And you know I will."

With a flash of white, the memory changed. They were on the Hogwarts grounds on a bright afternoon. Peter sat on the ground nervously picking at the grass, Sirius was lying beneath a tree, James sat on a branch high above, as Remus read aloud clippings from the Daily Prophet. The sky was blue, the air was warm and a breeze rippled across the grass and through James' hair. Harry stood next to the tree and looked up at him. In this memory, James had to have been about fourteen years old. He didn't look much older than Harry did now.

"Here's an article that has nothing to do with Voldemort, for once. But its something bad." Remus said, pointing at the page of the newspaper. "A young boy was kidnapped and the father found the kidnapper and killed him. That's rather harsh."

"Harsh?" Sirius scoffed. "Not really. The guy deserved it, kidnapping a child."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." Remus shrugged. "I can understand why the man did it."

"What would you have done, Prongs?" Peter tilted his head back and looked up.

_Prongs,_ Harry remembered. _From the story about the Marauder's. Prongs is my dad?  
_

"Well, Wormtail," James dropped down from the branch and landed on the grass beside Peter. "If I had a son and someone kidnapped him, I'd kill that person. And I'd make it hurt."

With another flash of light, they were standing back in the hallway again.

"I really am sorry, James." Peter said. "Truly."

He turned around and started walking for the door. James glared at him as he walked away. But then, with no warning, Peter turned around with his wand raised and shouted, "STUPEFY!"

James had obviously not expected Peter to try to attack him. During the split second before the spell hit him, James looked surprised. But then the stunning spell crashed into his chest, knocking him to the floor. Peter ran past James' fallen body and into the drawing room in which the previous memories had taken place. Lily was standing in the middle of the room and baby Harry was sleeping on the couch.

"Peter." She stepped back in surprise. "When did you get here? Where's James?"

Peter raised his wand. Lily had obviously expected something like this, because she immediately reached for hers without hesitation. But she wasn't quick enough.

"Stupefy!" Peter cried. As Lily fell to the floor, Peter said, "So sorry about this."

He hurried over to the couch and picked baby Harry up. Baby Harry mumbled sleepily, "Dah-dee?" and clung to Peter's neck. But as Peter was heading towards the door, baby Harry seemed to realize it wasn't his father who was carrying him. His green eyes opened in alarm.

"No!" Baby Harry said when he realized Peter was the one carrying him. "I no like you."

Thirteen year old Harry's heart was pounding in fear as he watched Peter carry his one-year-old self towards the door.

_He's kidnapping me. Oh god oh god oh god._ Harry felt like he was going to be sick.

Then he chased after Peter and tried to grab himself from Peter's arms, but it didn't work. He knelt to the floor beside James and tried to shake him awake while saying, "Wake up, please wake up, Peter's taking me, he's going to bring me to the Death Eaters, get up, get up, please! DAD, WAKE UP!"

But as Harry sat on the floor he knew he could not change this memory, for it had already happened. He was just witnessing it like it was something on a television screen in a muggle home. When he put his hand over James', he could barely feel the flesh, he could only remember what flesh felt like. And as he realized that he could not save his past self from being kidnapped, he laid down on the floor beside the memory of his dad and struggled to hold back tears. He was not really there in his parents' house, he was not really there with his dad.

_But I _can_ be with him right now,_ Harry thought. _I just have to find him._

And as if responding to Harry's thoughts, the pensieve pulled him out, returning him to the office in Lestrange Manor where he'd found the horcrux. And for the first time, he felt hope. He could leave this place, and leave it forever this time. And unlike the last time he'd left, he actually had somewhere to go. A home to return to.

_But what if James - I mean, my dad - what if my dad doesn't love me anymore? What if after all these years, James' love for me faded? What if he doesn't love me because I'm a Death Eater now? He didn't tell me that I'm his son. He let me believe we were just strangers._

But despite these horrible thoughts, Harry had to at least _try_ to find James, had to try to get an explanation. And most of all, he had to know if James was alright. What if the Death Eaters caught him?

_If he got caught in one of the traps, they must have brought him to the dungeons._ Harry thought frantically. _So if I'll have to look there first._

He was gripped with fear at the thought of going down to the dungeons. The dungeons brought back so many horrible memories, some of them recent and some of them dating back to when Harry was only six years old. All the times Bellatrix tried to make Harry practice curses on prisoners, or watch her perform curses on them. And then even worse were the times she punished Harry down there. Just remembering all of his punishments made him cringe and start rubbing his arm where she'd used the Cutting Curse on him just last week.

_But I have to go down there if I want to find my dad._ Harry thought. _I'll just have to be brave, like he is._

So Harry took a deep breath, made sure the horcrux ring was deep in his pocket, left the office and made his way to the dungeons.

* * *

**Oh and its fun-fact time! Mendacium, what Harry once thought was his surname, actually means "lie" or "falsehood" in Latin.**


	16. How will we know if we just don't try?

**Author's note: Hey you guys, sorry it took me so long to update! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks so much for all the reviews on the last one.  
**

* * *

_Tell me something that I know_  
_ Just something that I understand_  
_ I need to taste the warming glow_  
_ Of your medicating hands_  
_ I know I'm ready for your love_  
_ I just don't understand it_  
_ There is a silent pact of trust_  
_ That I never could admit_

_ So now I'm telling you the reason I'm all messed up_  
_ Just have to look me in the eyes and I fall apart_  
_ Please let me hold you 'til I know we are both through this_  
_ I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms_

* * *

_If Harry is hurt, I might have to kill myself._

James closed his eyes and leaned his head against the stone wall of the dungeon. Coming to Lestrange Manor was the second biggest mistake James had ever made in his entire life, the first being the decision not to kill Peter Pettigrew the moment he realized he was the spy. James could barely remember how he ended up in the dungeon. All he could remember was standing in a hallway, holding onto Harry's shoulders, and then suddenly falling through the floor into darkness. Once he landed, there was a Death Eater standing over him. The Death Eater hit him over the head, knocking him unconscious, and when he woke up he was in the dungeon. He'd tried to break through the bars of his prison but they were too strong. He found his wand stowed up his sleeve but he found he wasn't able to use magic or Apparate or even transform into a stag. There was no point even having his wand; he couldn't use it. So he dropped down to the floor and panicked.

As for how James ended up in the dungeon in the first place, the only conclusion James could reach was that Harry had set off one of the traps when he touched that doorknob. And since the traps were activated and a Death Eater had found James, that meant there were Death Eaters in Lestrange Manor.

His worry for Harry was almost driving him insane. He wasn't used to feeling this way. He wasn't used to the anxious flipflops of his stomach and the shakiness of his hands. He hadn't felt this kind of worry in twelve years. If it was better or worse than the numbness he'd become used to, James didn't know, but he had no idea how he was going to handle this.

He drifted in and out of consciousness, having brief, senseless dreams of green eyes and childlike laughter. Sometimes loud noises would pierce his dreams like popping bubbles and he'd jolt upright on the stone floor, wondering where he was. And then he'd remember, _The dungeon of Lestrange Manor...without Harry..._

Every now and then, after loud noises woke him, he would get up, shake the bars on the cell door, scream in frustration before throwing himself back down on the floor and dreaming of green eyes again.

"You don't look so good, Potter."

James was startled awake by the sound of footsteps coming across the stone floor. Looking up, he saw the figure of Bellatrix Lestrange standing behind the cell door, silhouetted by the gloomy green light from the lanterns on the wall behind her.

_Fuck._ He thought miserably.

"Are you enjoying your stay here?" Bellatrix said. "Are you comfortable?"

"This is practically a five star hotel. I'm having the time of my bloody life." James said. He was tempted to demand, _'Where's Harry?'_ but held back in case Bellatrix didn't even know that Harry was there at Lestrange Manor.

"I thought you'd say something like that." Bellatrix said. "What could I do to make you _less_ comfortable?"

"Well, you could keep talking to me. That'd do it."

"No, I need something more than that, you see. I have to punish you for the deeds you've done against the Dark Lord." Bellatrix said. "I need to make you suffer."

"I think you've got that covered. Your voice is like nails on a chalkboard."

"Keep joking about it, Potter, go on. But sooner or later I'm going to make you beg me for mercy."

"Me? Beg _you_?" James laughed. "That's a good one. But you must know I'll never beg you for _anything._"

"You think you're so clever, Potter, but in truth you're just an insolent little kid."

"I'm a little kid?"

"You're only thirty three. I consider that a kid. And your childish behavior makes you seem even younger. Also, you look like you're only in your twenties."

"What is the point of saying that? Are you hitting on me or something? I hate to disappoint you but you're not my type. I don't go for sadistic psychopaths. I wouldn't go out with you, even if I weren't married."

"You're only proving my point, you filthy blood-traitor. You don't know how to act your age. Perhaps I could teach you a lesson or two about respecting your elders." Bellatrix stepped forward and turned into the light so that James could see the cruel smile on her face. "I'm good at teaching blood-traitors lessons. Just ask your son. I've taught him many lessons about respect, sometimes right here in this very cell."

James' blood went cold as something dawned on him: _Harry has lived with her for twelve years._ Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the most sadistic and wicked witches who'd ever lived, practically raised James' child. He knew that Harry still turned out to be a good person, but that didn't change the fact that they had obviously tried to make him think like them. They'd tried to brainwash him into believing their lies about blood purity. They'd taught him how to Apparate, despite the fact that it was extremely dangerous for anyone under seventeen. They must have taught him loads of curses.

James had been so ecstatic and euphoric when he found out Harry was alive that he hadn't given thought to what Harry's life must have been like, living here with Death Eaters. James hadn't even thought about the things they probably tried to make Harry do, and what they might have done to him if he didn't cooperate with them.

While James was moping around for the past decade, depressed about Harry's 'death', Harry was actually here with Bellatrix in this house of horrors. Bellatrix could have done hundreds of horrible things to Harry, while James was hundreds of miles away, feeling sorry for himself. What kind of a father was he?

It seemed like the walls of the cell were closing in on him as the weight of Bellatrix's words sunk in: _I've taught him many lessons about respect, sometimes right here in this very cell._

"What did you do to him?" James managed to say through his indescribable anger.

"Oh, nothing he didn't deserve. He was always talking back to me and never listened when I tried to tell him about how horrible muggles are. You know how children can be. Actually, you probably don't, since we kidnapped your child when he was just a baby. Anyways, I always tried to make him see the truth about how disgusting muggles are and why they all need to die, but he never did learn, did he? Kept insisting that they weren't all bad. He has the heart of a Gryffindor, it disgusts me. I tried to beat it out of him, but that didn't work. I tried to act motherly because maybe if he thought I cared for him, then he'd do what I want."

Bellatrix sighed and continued, "It worked for a while, he did as I asked him to as long as he thought I was looking out for him. But eventually he realized that I was only acting, and you know what happened after. He ran off and destroyed one of the Dark Lord's horcruxes. It really is a shame, you know. What a waste of power. We really could have used him, but now it looks like he's going to end up like his dear friend Rayden."

"What did you kill Rayden for?" James asked. He had trouble speaking when really he just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. Something Bellatrix said was repeating on loop in his head: _I tried to beat it out of him._ His hands shook with fury and horror as he tried to block out any mental images of Bellatrix putting her hands on Harry. "What did Rayden do that was so bad?"

"He found out about something I worked hard to keep secret, and threatened to expose it." Bellatrix said.

"And what would that be?"

"Normally I wouldn't tell you, but its nothing you don't already know." Bellatrix sighed and leaned against the bars as if explaining things took up a lot of energy. "Rayden found out that Harry's parents weren't actually Death Eaters. He found out about you and your mudblood wife and how you lost your poor, dear son Harry all those years ago. He must have read about it in an old copy of the Daily Prophet, or maybe he heard it somewhere in London when he ran away. However he found out about you, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that he put two and two together and realized that _our_ Harry is actually _your _Harry. Rayden was going to tell Harry about his true family and that would have ruined everything, so I was forced to kill him. What else could I have done?"

"Why are you telling me all this?" James asked. "I could go back to Dumbledore and tell him everything you're telling me!"

"How are you going to get to Dumbledore?" Bellatrix smirked. "You're trapped down here with absolutely no way of escaping. And even if you did manage to tell Dumbledore, why should I care? What use could he have with the information I just gave you? Dumbledore isn't going to care about the death of a foolish teenage boy when he has the war to worry about. Merlin, am I glad to have killed Rayden. I can barely imagine the trouble he'd give me today if he were still alive. He always gave me trouble. I had to bring him down here and punish him all the time. That stain on the floor by your feet might actually be Rayden's blood...or it could be your son's blood."

James threw himself against the bars and grabbed Bellatrix's throat. But she only tossed her head back and laughed, completely unfazed by his attack. White hot anger surged through him and he wanted nothing more than to kill her right then and there. But she could use magic and he couldn't.

"Crucio." She said carelessly, flicking her wand in his direction.

He fell to the floor and writhed in pain, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Oh Potter, when will you learn?" She clicked her tongue at him in disapproval. "You're no match for me. Especially when you're locked in a cell, unable to use magic."

She released the curse and he stopped screaming.

"Here is the famous James Potter. Pureblood by birth, blood-traitor by choice. Conceited Gryffindor, arrogant Auror, handsome and admired by many." Bellatrix laughed scornfully. "Lying at my feet, gasping in pain, dignity lost. How did that come to be? How did it all change?" She paused for a moment before saying, "Crucio!"

The pain took over again. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it left him gasping and shaking.

"Let's see how much you've really changed." Bellatrix said. "Let's see if I can get the arrogant James Potter to beg. CRUCIO!"

The pain hit him again, harder this time, if that was somehow possible.

"Beg for me, James, that's all you have to do. Beg me and I'll make the pain stop." Bellatrix taunted. "Crucio, crucio, crucio until you beg!"

After letting the curse go on for minutes on end, Bellatrix allowed the pain to stop momentarily so James could speak. He gasped for air and looked up at the green lanterns behind Bellatrix's head. They reminded him of green eyes. And suddenly, as James took a deep breath of air and his mind was filled with the sound of Harry's laughter, the numbness he'd succumbed to over the past twelve years burned away completely, leaving a sense of passion in its wake. The miserable shell he'd turned into after Harry's death was gone, replaced by a different person, a person who was a lot more like the twenty-year-old-James. Breathing. Hoping. Still fighting.

"I don't know how much I've changed." James said, feeling like pieces of his old self were slowly coming back to him. "But I do know that I will _never_ beg you for anything. And that's something that will never change."

Bellatrix froze, evidently shocked by the sudden confidence in James' voice. Then she threw her head back and screamed in anger before stomping out of the dungeons and slamming the door behind her. James heard her footsteps fade as she went up the stairs and into the manor above.

Once she was gone, James started to think about how he could get out of there. He needed to get up and find a way to break the door down. He had to find Harry and make sure he was alright. He had to get Harry to safety.

But he found that he couldn't move. The curses had taken a toll on him. Although he felt better than he had in years, he was too tired to get up. His eyelids felt as heavy as led and they kept drooping shut. Before he knew what was happening, he fell asleep again.

He did not sleep peacefully. He dreamed that he was in the cell, standing in a puddle of blood on the floor. He looked down at his bloody shoes in horror and the disembodied voice of Bellatrix said, "That's Harry's blood you're standing in." James' heart started pounding and he felt like he was going to be sick. Bellatrix had hurt Harry. How could anyone hurt Harry? It seemed impossible that anyone would want to. The puddle of blood spread across the entire floor so that it was all over the cell and it gradually got deeper and deeper so that James was sinking down into it. All the while Bellatrix was saying, "I had to teach him a lesson. While you were off feeling sorry for yourself, I was here with Harry, punishing him in this cell. And you weren't here to help him..."

James couldn't breathe, the blood was rising higher and higher, and he couldn't find a way out of the cell. The shadows were pressing in on him, everything was cold...but then there was a sudden warmth, clasping onto his arm. He didn't know where the warmth was coming from. Through Bellatrix's chant of _"that's Harry's blood, that's Harry's blood," _James could hear another voice saying, "Are you alright? Can you hear me?" The voice was pulling him up to the surface, away from the darkness and the blood...

And then he was jolted awake, sitting in the dark with a pair of bright green eyes staring at him.

"Hi." Harry said.

"Harry," James sat upright, grabbing Harry's arms and pulling him close. "Are you okay? How did you get in here?"

"I just walked in." Harry said simply, but there was something wrong with his voice. It sounded strained.

"But Bellatrix just left, she could have seen you." James said.

"She might have." Harry shrugged, his eyes downcast.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" James asked anxiously.

"No. I got the horcrux." Harry said. "You can leave now"

"_I _can leave now? What about you? You have to leave with me."

"I _can't_ leave." Harry said, his voice cracking. "I've got nowhere to go."

Harry backed up against the wall and pressed his palms against his eyes. James recognized that habit; it was something Lily always did when she tried to stop herself from crying, like she was trying to force the tears back into her eyes. As James watched Harry do that, he realized he was stuck between a rock and hard place. He could break his promise to Dumbledore and tell Harry that he was his dad, or he could continue to let Harry think he had nowhere to go once he left Lestrange Manor.

"You can't stay here, Harry, they'll kill you -" James said. Then he thought, _Who cares about my promise to Dumbledore? I have to tell him the truth._

But just as James was about to tell him the truth, Harry dropped his hands from his face, looked at James with teary eyes and said, "You're my dad, aren't you?"

James' heart skipped a beat and his stomach dropped. His mouth hung open stupidly as he stared at Harry, wondering how on earth he found out. Also, just hearing Harry say the word "dad" brought a swarm of butterflies to James' stomach.

"How long have you known?" James asked once he found his voice again.

"For two hours." Harry said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, I just -"

"Are you mad at me?" Harry asked eagerly. "For being a Junior Death Eater? Is that why you didn't tell me?"

"No! That's not it at all!" James said hurriedly, his heart shattering at the hurt expression on Harry's face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I meant to tell you as soon as I found out that you're alive - I thought you were dead for _years_ - but Dumbledore said not to tell you right away-"

"Because I'm a Death Eater?"

"No, that's not why!" James said frantically. "Don't think you're a Death Eater, because you're not! You're a good person, the Death Eaters just tried to use you."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"I was going to, but then Dumbledore said it would scare you off, and that I should wait." James tried to explain. "I wanted to tell you more than anything, believe me. That's why you can't stay here, Harry, you have to come back with me. I care about you." _That's the biggest understatement I've ever said,_ James thought.

"That's what Bellatrix said, too. But she was lying."

"I'm not lying." James' eyes were burning as he moved closer to Harry, desperate to make him understand. "Please believe me."

"So sorry to interrupt," Said the cold voice of Bellatrix from the doorway of the dungeon, making both James and Harry jump. "But I have something to discuss with the two of you."

James instinctively grabbed Harry's arm and forced him to stand behind him. James' heart was jumping around in his chest fearfully as Bellatrix sauntered across the dungeon towards the cell doorthem.

"Hello there, Harry. I didn't know you were here." Bellatrix said. James could feel Harry's breath against his arm and it was both comforting and alarming. Although it was good to feel Harry so close to James, it was terrifying that Harry was also close to Bellatrix who was standing a few feet away from them, right behind the cell door. "Did you miss me? Is that why you came back? Well, I have to tell you that I'm still going to punish you for what you've done. Also, one of you has taken a horcrux that was kept in a drawer in my office, and nobody leaves until I get it back."

"Like you'd let us leave anyway." Harry muttered.

"You know, I was so upset when you destroyed the other horcrux, I almost lost my mind." Bellatrix said.

"Now there's a bloody surprise." Harry mumbled.

"What was that?" Bellatrix snapped.

"He said you've got beautiful eyes." James said quickly, his mind racing as he tried to think of a way for Harry to get out of there. "And neither of us have the horcrux."

"I'm not so sure about that. The horcrux sends off a flare of hopelessness and depression when activated by a Dark Mark. And young Harry looks pretty depressed over there." Bellatrix said, smiling cruelly at Harry from behind the bars of the cell. "I think one of you has it. And I have an idea of which one of you." Bellatrix's eyes lingered on Harry.

"He doesn't have it!" James said.

"I think you're lying. Harry, dear, come over here." Bellatrix said.

James reached over, gripped Harry's arm tightly and said to Bellatrix, "If you touch him, I'll kill you."

"How are you going to do that, James?" Bellatrix said. "You can't use magic."

"I still have hands." James said menacingly.

"Oh, how terrifying." Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Harry, give me the horcrux. I know you took it. There's no way for you to get out of here, so just hand it over already."

James glanced over at Harry and saw his eyes were wide with fear. _I'll protect you, I promise, _James vowed inside his head, his heart clenching at the thought of Harry getting hurt.

"Give it to me, Harry." Bellatrix demanded. When Harry didn't answer her, she sighed. But then a smile crossed her lips and her eyes lit with a familiar spark that James recognized and hated. It was the look she got whenever she was about to do something horrible. "If you won't hand it over, I guess I'll have to resort to other ways..."

_No, no, no, this can't be happening,_ James thought frantically. But he knew that look in Bellatrix's eyes. James had seen it there before, during previous duels against the Death Eaters; it usually appeared right before she tortured someone. _No, no, god no, don't let this happen -_

Bellatrix raised her wand and pointed it at Harry. But by the time she said, "_Crucio"_ James had thrown himself in front of Harry and took the curse himself.

The pain wrenched his body like thousands of white hot knives stabbing at his skin. It was far worse than the Cruciatus Curse she'd used on him earlier, maybe because she put more thought into it. James tried to stop himself from screaming for the sake of not scaring Harry, although he knew that Harry was already terrified. James gnashed his teeth together, gasping in pain and desperately trying not to scream through the blinding haze of pain. As his head felt like it was going to split open, a roaring sound filled his ears that nearly drowned out everything else. But in the background, sounding like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel, he could hear Harry yelling, _"STOP, BELLA, STOP -"_

The pain stopped abruptly, leaving James gasping. He blinked his eyes blearily and saw Harry kneeling over him, green eyes wide with fear and worry. Harry's hand clasped James' arm tightly, giving the latter a feeling of warmth in his stomach.

"Why did you do that?" Harry asked as James sat up.

"Yes, James, why _did_ you do that?" Bellatrix sneered. "There was no point. You must have known that I was going to cruciate the boy anyway, once you were done _nobly_ taking the curse for him." Bellatrix pointed her wand at Harry and before James could do anything, she shouted, "CRUCIO!"

"NO!" James yelled, as if that could help anything.

Harry fell over onto his side and screamed, pressing his hands his face and digging his nails into his forehead, writhing and convulsing on the stone floor. For James, watching Harry being Cruciated was worse than himself being Cruciated. He would have given anything, absolutely anything, including his own life, just to make Bellatrix stop the curse. Every tortured scream cut into James like a knife, and every gasp for air just twisted the knife even further. With trembling hands he lifted Harry off the cold floor and into his lap, where he continued to thrash around. James tried to hold Harry's head still so he wouldn't hit it off the floor.

"STOP!" James yelled at Bellatrix who was smiling, evidently pleased with herself. "STOP! TAKE THE CURSE OFF OF HIM! PLEASE!"

Bellatrix raised an eyebrow when he said 'please.'

"PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP! OH GOD, PLEASE!" James yelled above Harry's screams.

"You'll have to beg me first." Bellatrix said calmly.

"I _AM_ BEGGING YOU! THIS IS ME BEGGING YOU! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!" James pleaded. "PLEASE STOP!"

"Oh, you want me to stop? Why didn't you just say so?" Bellatrix said. She lowered her wand and the curse was lifted. "All you had to was ask."

Harry's screams fell into raspy gasps for air, his chest rising and falling with every pant.

"My, my, James. I remember you telling me you'd never beg me for anything." Bellatrix smiled in amusement.

"Harry isn't a thing, so he doesn't fall into the category of _anything._" James said, his voice hoarse.

"Oh, so you've found a loophole. How clever." Bellatrix rolled her eyes.

"Harry, can you hear me?" James put his hand on Harry's face, his heart thumping in fear and worry when his eyes didn't open. "Harry?"

"I stopped the curse because you said you'd do anything. And now you have to give me the horcrux." Bellatrix said, her eyes flashing maliciously. "Unless you want me to hurt poor little Harry again."

"No! Don't hurt him! I'll give you the horcrux, alright? He has it on him somewhere." James said. "It must be in one of his pockets."

"Then check his pockets!"

"Wait! Just - just give me a minute to see if he's alright!" James begged. "Please!"

"What, you want me to leave you two alone in here so you can plot an escape?" Bellatrix scoffed.

"We couldn't escape, there's no possible way! Please, just let me have one minute with him, then I'll give you the horcrux!" James said anxiously. "You wanted me to beg, now I'm begging!"

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes suspiciously before saying, "You're lucky I'm a kind person, otherwise I wouldn't allow this. I'll give you one minute, then I'm coming back."

As Bellatrix backed away from the cell and left the dungeon, James desperately tried shaking Harry awake. The pain must have caused him to pass out. After a few terrifying moments of Harry being completely still, he finally opened his eyes. James' heart soared with relief when Harry blearily blinked up at him.

"Harry, are you alright?" James hated himself for asking such a stupid question.

Harry slowly sat up, sweat making his hair stick up in odd angles, even more than usual. His face was white and streaked with dust and dirt, the green in his eyes was the only color on his face.

"We have to give her the horcrux. You do have it, don't you?" James asked.

Harry nodded slowly in a way that showed he was drained of energy.

"Okay, well, we have to give it to her." James said. "If we don't, she'll hurt you again."

"I don't care if she hurts me." Harry said, his voice raspy from screaming.

"I care." James said earnestly. "Please just give it to me and I'll try to find a way to get us out of here."

Harry stared into James' eyes for a few moments and it seemed like he was searching for something in there. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out a black ring, and held it out in his hand. Before taking the ring, James clasped his own hand around Harry's and stayed like that for a few moments, basking in the warmth from his son's hand. Then James took the ring and stood up, trying to calculate how they could possibly escape.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Harry asked, looking up at James with trusting eyes.

"You're not going to." Bellatrix said loudly as she walked back into the dungeon, another Death Eater trailing in behind her. "So don't even try." She glared at James and said, "Give me the horcrux."

James handed it over quickly, not wanting to give her any reason to hurt Harry. Bellatrix handed the ring over to the other Death Eater and said, "Put this back where it belongs. I'll come up with a better hiding place later, after I've dealt with these two."

As the Death Eater obediently left the dungeon with the horcrux ring in his hand, James' stomach flopped in fear at Bellatrix's words: _after I've dealt with these two._

"Now what shall I do with you?" Bellatrix asked, looking back and forth from James to Harry. "How about the Cruciatus again? I'm in the mood for some torture."

James' eyes widened in alarm.

"No! You you said you wouldn't hurt him in exchange for the horcrux!" James protested.

"I lied." Bellatrix shrugged.

"Don't hurt Harry! Hurt me instead!" James begged.

"Well, it seems that the best way to hurt you is to hurt Harry." Bellatrix grinned evilly. "So I will hurt you by hurting him."

"Please don't!"

"Oh, now look who's begging!" Bellatrix said. "Its funny how just an hour ago you told me you'd never beg me for anything. Now look at you. Well, I'm feeling a bit generous at the moment so I'll make you a deal: instead of the Cruciatus Curse, I'll only use the Cutting Curse. He's so used to it, it probably won't even hurt that much. Am I right, Harry?"

"Piss off." Harry answered.

"That's not very nice, little Harry." Bellatrix pouted. "Say you're sorry."

"He's sorry!" James answered.

"No, I want to hear it from him." Bellatrix said.

_She's playing with us. She's just going to play with us then kill us, like a cat with a mouse. This is just a game to her, _James thought. Then with ferocious protectiveness he thought, _NO! She's not going to kill Harry. I won't let her. _

Suddenly, with a bang that startled everyone, the door to the dungeon opened and somebody ran inside. Bellatrix turned around to see who had entered but before she could even look at the person, she was hit with a blast of red light that made her go rigid and fall to the floor.

Standing in the doorway with his wand raised was a seventeen year old boy with brown hair and eyes that were somehow familiar to James. James' heart soared in relief when he realized Bellatrix had been stunned.

"Who are you?" James and the boy asked each other at the same time.

"Mile?" Harry moved towards the bars. "Where have you been?"

"At the Department of Mysteries." Mile answered, panting heavily. "I was running all over the place trying to find you. And _of course_ you were in the dungeons. You have a habit of ending up down here, don't you?" Mile walked over and opened the cell door.

"It wasn't locked?" James asked in shock when he saw how easily the door opened for Mile.

"If you're a Death Eater, you can open it." Mile said. "And unfortunately for the Death Eaters. I am one of them."

"Why'd it take you so long to get here?" Harry asked. "And where did you go? You were right behind me then you were gone."

"The craziest thing happened." Mile said. "Kyro found me and tried to kill me and was raving on about he wants to see fear in my eyes, and then he tortured me for a while. Oh and then some random wolf came out of nowhere and pushed Kyro off me, and a big black dog came into the equation, and I ran out of there."

_A wolf? A big black dog? _James thought. _That has to be Sirius and Remus._

"Are there more Death Eaters upstairs?" Harry asked.

"There might be, but I'm not sure." Mile said. "I didn't see any."

James looked at Harry and said, "We have to get out of here. I'm not going to let you stay here."

"I'm going to come with you, but I have to get the horcrux back first. Otherwise we came here for nothing." Harry said.

"No, you can't! Someone will catch you!" James grabbed Harry's arm as if he were going to try to run off. "Its too dangerous."

"Who are you, by the way?" Mile asked. "And why do you two look so much alike?"

"He's my dad." Harry answered.

"Really?" Mile asked.

"Really." James answered.

"Your dad is alive, Mile." Harry said.

"Yeah, I know." Mile said. "Kyro told me right before he tried to kill me. What an idiot. But anyways, apparently my father's name is Rufus Scrimgeour."

"_Rufus Scrimgeour?"_ James repeated incredulously. "He's your father? How the bloody hell?"

"Do you know him?" Mile asked.

"Unfortunately." James said. "He tries to be my boss."

"_Tries_ to be?" Harry smirked.

"It doesn't work out too well for him." James grinned. "But really, we have to get out of here as soon as possible. I'm not going to let you get hurt again. And I meant it when I said I'm sorry, earlier. I really wish I had told you sooner."

"Its okay, I understand." Harry smiled. "But then how will we get the horcrux back? They're going to move it and then all this would have been for nothing."

"I can get it back." Mile said. "Where did they put it?"

"A Death Eater took it back upstairs to Bellatrix's office. It should be in the top drawer of her desk." Harry said. "But they'll kill you if they catch you up there."

"I'll take the risk." Mile shrugged.

"You could leave with us." James said. "I'm taking Harry to Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts, you say?" Mile thought about it for a moment. "I've always wanted to go there...but the horcrux is important. We _need_ to get it back. What if I go get the horcrux then Apparate to Hogwarts?"

"You can't Apparate to Hogwarts, there's too many wards." James said. "You could Apparate to Hogsmeade, though. Its a wizarding village. There's a shop called Honeydukes that has a secret passageway to Hogwarts under their cellar."

"But what would I do when I get to Hogwarts? There's nothing for me there." Mile said.

"I could introduce you to your father." James said.

Mile stared off into space for a few moments and James had the impression he was thinking very hard about this. Finally he looked up and said, "Alright. But first I'll get the horcrux. If you two are leaving, you have to Disapparate from the edge of the property where the wards end. But go through the back door because there's probably loads of Death Eaters near the front of the house."

Mile led the way out of the dungeon and up the spiraling staircase to the manor above. If James could have read Harry's mind, he would have known that just last week Bellatrix had led Harry up the same staircase, right after striking him across the face and screaming at him. Mile stopped at the top of the stairs and peered through the grainy window on the door.

"The coast is clear. If you want to get outside, now's the time." Mile said before opening the door. They stepped into a bright, extravagant dining room. "I'm going upstairs, you two get out of here. Fast."

"The dungeon is right below the dining room?" James snickered. "Is it so they can enjoy the screams of prisoners as they eat?"

"Yeah, its music to Bellatrix's ears." Harry said. As he and James made their way for the hallway to the right side of the dining room, Mile went left towards the stairs. "Its like classical music for her."

"I think I'd rather listen to people screaming than classical music, so I can understand that." James said. "But we really better keep our voices down."

They made it to the back door and found that it wasn't locked. James motioned for Harry to stay back, opened the door and peered outside. He saw nothing but the trees of the woods behind the house, where he assumed the wards ended. After being absolutely sure no one was out there, he turned back to Harry and said, "Alright, it should be safe. But we shouldn't run. We don't want to attract attention. We'll just walk quickly."

So the two of them quickly left the manor, quietly shut the door behind them and made their way towards the woods.

"So you're really my dad." Harry said as they walked across the grass.

James smiled as he said, "And you're really my son."

"For my whole life I thought my parents were dead. And I thought they'd been Death Eaters." Harry said. "This is so surreal...but in a good way."

"And for most of your life, I thought _you_ were dead. But instead you were here with the Death Eaters...and I'm so sorry for that." James stopped walking and looked down at Harry. "Really."

"Its alright."

"No, its not."

"Yes, it is. I'm not mad at you."

"You were earlier."

"I wasn't mad at you, I was just upset because I thought you were mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I'm a Death Eater."

"You're not a Death Eater. They tried to make you a Death Eater but that doesn't make you a Death Eater."

"So you're not mad at me."

"I could never be mad at you."

"Can I call you 'dad', then?"

James suddenly pulled Harry into a tight embrace that lifted the boy off his feet. James didn't breathe and held perfectly still with his arms around Harry, like if he moved the moment would shatter. His heart was racing with excitement as the gravity of what was happening sunk in: he was holding his long lost son in his arms. Finally, he let himself breathe again and inhaled the scent of Harry's hair as he ran his fingers through it. His heart was swelling with affection, he was feeling so lightheaded. It felt like he'd downed an entire bottle of Firewhiskey, and he felt quite sure that if he tried to speak at that moment his words would have been slurred.

"Should I take that as a yes?" Harry asked, his voice muffled by James' chest.

James laughed and said, "Yes, of course."

Then he looked back at Lestrange Manor and saw something move in one of the windows, reminding him of the danger they were in.

"Let's run the rest of the way, okay?" James said.

They took off running across the grass for the next ten yards or so until they reached the woods. Once they were under the cover of the trees, James felt like he'd stepped through an invisible wall, letting him know they were past the wards.

"Alright, we'll Apparate to Hogsmeade on three." James reached out and took Harry's hand. Holding it tightly he said, "One, two, three -"

The two of them Disapparated and left Lestrange Manor for what James promised himself would be the last time.

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**Thanks for reading, you guys. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know its hard to believe that James would ever beg a Death Eater, because he's so pompous (but lovable!) But I think the only way James would beg is if it was for someone he loved, so that's what happened in this chapter. :D Please review and tell me what you thought of it. I promise to update sooner than I did this time, I think it took me more than a week.**


	17. We won't ever know

**Author's note: Hello there readers. I'm going away on vacation for a week, so I won't be able to update again until then. I'm leaving you with this chapter until I come back, because I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing. I hope you like it. :D  
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_Show me your hands_  
_ Show me your hands_  
_ Let me wash them clean_  
_ Show me your heart_  
_ And let me heal you, let me heal you_

* * *

_"Can I call you 'dad', then?" Harry asked nervously, scared that James would say 'no.'_

_But then Harry felt James' arms wrap around him, and his feet left the ground, and his whole body was filled with a kind of warmth he'd never felt before. It made his heart swell up and his stomach do excited flipflops. When James ran his fingers through his hair, Harry got a tingly feeling in his spine. He buried his face in James' chest so he could hide the tears that were threatening to spill down his face. He felt foolish for crying when he was so happy. And 'happy' was an understatement. It was euphoric. It was a dreamlike kind of bliss that reached into Harry's chest, held onto his heart and wouldn't let go. __He never thought it was possible to cry tears of joy before, but apparently it was. __Once Harry got control of his tear ducts and forced them not to overflow, he said, "Should I take that as a yes?" _

_"Yes, of course." James laughed into Harry's hair. _

_An excited mantra of '_I can call him 'dad', I can call him 'dad', _played over and over in Harry's head, and his heart leaped with joy._

* * *

As soon as Harry and James Apparated to a street in the middle of Hogsmeade, they wasted no time standing around. They could see the spires of Hogwarts rising above the rooftops of the village. They made their way down the main cobblestone street, where all the busy shops were. There weren't any people out on the street because it was starting to get dark, and all of the shops had closed up for the night. James hoped they'd be able to break into the cellar of Honeyduke's without making too much noise.

However, they were halfway to Honeyduke's when James stopped in his tracks and held out an arm signaling for Harry to stop too. James had a prickly feeling at the back of his neck, the hairs on his arms were standing on end.

"Why did we stop?" Harry asked, looking up at James eagerly.

"Something's wrong." James looked up and down the darkening street, a sense of paranoia creeping up on him as he noticed how many shadows there were. He wondered if there was someone lurking in those shadows, watching them. He took Harry by the arm and pulled him out of the street and under the awning of a nearby shop. "I think someone's here on the street." James caught a quick glimpse of fear in Harry's eyes for a moment, but then Harry forced himself to look brave, as if afraid James would think he was a coward. "Its alright, Harry. I won't let anything happen to you but we really shouldn't stay on this street. Honeyduke's is about half a mile from here but by the time we get there someone could catch us...we can just go to the Shrieking Shack, there's another way to Hogwarts from there. We'll stick to the side streets, we'll be fine."

James remembered all of the shortcuts around the village from his years at Hogwarts. The nearest side street led up to the house that the villagers named the Shrieking Shack because of the screams they'd once heard there. Everyone thought it was ghosts, but little did they know the screams actually came from Remus, who was a werewolf. Thinking of Remus gave James a twinge of worry. Was he alright, wherever he was? James hoped Remus hadn't hurt anyone during the full moon last night.

But as James and Harry walked along a side street in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, James felt it again; that nagging sense that something was off. He spun around just in time to see someone move down the street. Someone wearing a Death Eater mask.

"Did you see that?" Harry whispered, his eyes wide.

"Yeah, I did." James said, his heart racing in fear.

"What should we do?" Harry asked.

"Do you have a wand on you?" James asked as he pulled his own wand out of his sleeve and raised it.

"Yeah." Harry said, pulling a wand out of his sleeve as well.

"Hang on, didn't I take your wand from you back at the Department of Mysteries?" James asked. "Which I'm terribly sorry for, by the way."

"No, I only gave you Bellatrix's wand. I'd taken it from her earlier on. I still had my own wand." Harry said.

"Clever." James would have smiled in appreciation at his son's cleverness if he wasn't panicking and trying to figure out what to do about the Death Eater down the street. "Keep your wand ready, in case anything happens. But there's only one Death Eater so if he tries to attack us, I could take him down easily."

Suddenly there were several loud _'Cracks!' _all around the street as three more Death Eaters materialized out of thin air.

"Shit!" James grabbed Harry and forced him to duck as a curse flew over his head. James stunned the Death Eater that tried to curse Harry while simultaneously dodging a curse another Death Eater shot at him. Harry successfully stunned another Death Eater, which left only two standing. James pushed Harry back and yelled, "Run!"

James deflected a curse a Death Eater had shot at him. Harry shot a stunning spell at one of the Death Eaters but it was deflected.

"Harry, go!" James yelled. "Run! I'll hold them off!"

"I'm not leaving you!" Harry said. He pointed his wand at a Death Eater and shouted, "Stupefy!"

This time the spell actually hit without being deflected. The Death Eater fell to the ground and now there was only one left standing.

"Then I'll come with you, come on!" James cast a shield charm over the two of them as he grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him towards the nearest house. James tried the door and found it was locked. '_Alohomora'_ didn't work on it, so he ended up smashing one of the windows. "Get in, quick!" He wrapped his arms around Harry's waist and helped him through the window. The moment after James climbed through, the Death Eater broke through the shield charm.

James realized the house must be abandoned because there was nobody in there. There were just heaps of broken furniture and boxes lying around on the floor. The Death Eater outside was approaching the house; James could hear the footsteps getting louder, coming towards the door.

"Run and hide!" James turned around, looked into Harry's eyes and begged. "Harry, please!"

The Death Eater blasted the door off its hinges. It exploded inward, splinters of wood flying around the room and cutting into the furniture and their faces. A curse hit James square in the chest, knocking him off his feet. Before he could get up, the Death Eater got in another curse. It slashed across James' arm, ripping his sleeve and splattering blood across the floor. His wand flew out of his hands and rolled away.

"Stupefy!" Harry shouted with his wand pointed at the Death Eater.

But the Death Eater deflected it almost carelessly. Then he turned right around and hit Harry with a curse that threw him back against a mirror on the wall. James' heart froze in fear as he watched without being able to do anything. When Harry made impact, the mirror smashed into pieces and rained glass down onto the floor. James crawled forward, grabbed his wand and cast a shield charm in front of Harry. Then he pointed his wand at the Death Eater and shouted, "Stupefy!"

The spell hit the Death Eater and knocked him to the floor with a loud thud. James sighed in relief.

"Harry, Harry, are you okay?" James got to his feet and made his way towards Harry who was slumped in front of the broken mirror. Harry winced when James took his hands to help him stand up. Observing Harry's hands, James saw they were bloody and cut up from the glass. His blood turned cold as he wondered how much pain Harry was in. "Merlin, that's a lot of cuts. Alright, uh, new plan." James moved over to the window and peeked outside. There weren't any more Death Eaters out there. But farther down the street James saw a rather rundown-looking house with all the lights on. A sign over the door read 'The Hog's Head.' James took a deep breath and tried to sound like he wasn't panicking about the blood on Harry's hands, "The Hog's Head is right down the street. We can forget about the Shrieking Shack. There's a passageway in the Hog's Head that leads to a room in Hogwarts. Aberforth Dumbledore told me about it a few years back. I don't know why, though. The old codger usually doesn't talk to anyone. I think its because he felt bad for me or something. But anyway, its right down the street, so we should be able to get there without any problems."

James tried to put on a brave face but his insides were all rattled up from seeing Harry get thrown into the mirror. He kept his hands on the windowpane behind him so Harry wouldn't notice how badly they were shaking.

"Why would he feel bad for you?" Harry asked curiously.

"Er - I don't know. He's a strange bloke." James lied.

He didn't want to tell Harry the real reason why Aberforth had felt sorry for him, because Harry _was_ the real reason. Or rather, Harry's supposed 'death' had been the reason. He really didn't want to let Harry know how catatonic he'd been over the past decade. He had no idea how the boy would take it.

"Madam Pomfrey will heal your hands when we get b-back to H-Hogwarts." James stuttered the last few words. Then he realized how odd it was that he'd stuttered. James _never_ stuttered as a general rule. His speech was always articulate and clear. He'd never spoken in a shy or nervous tone in his life, so why now? "Do your hands hurt?"

"No." Harry shook his head. "I'm fine."

Looking at Harry's face, James noticed that the boy definitely was _not_ fine, for it wasn't just his hands that were cut up: his face was too. There were two scratches under his eye, right across his cheekbone, and his lip was bleeding. With his stomach in unpleasant knots, James knelt down and picked up the Death Eater's wand.

"Alright, we better go now." James said. He walked towards the hole in the wall where the door used to be, Harry following behind him. When they got outside they took the wands of the other Death Eaters; James stowed two of them up his sleeve and Harry stuck one inside his boot. James looked around, half expecting to see another Death Eater standing there, but saw no one. "See that house up there, the one with the lights on? That's the Hog's Head. Let's run the rest of the way, before someone else comes."

They ran as fast as they possibly could towards the Hog's Head and then through the back door. The pub was empty except for a hag sitting in the corner drinking from a flask. Aberforth was rubbing at a dirty dish with a filthy cloth, which wasn't helping anything.

"James Potter." Aberforth said as they walked in. Then his eyes bulged with surprise when they laid on Harry. "And..._Harry_ Potter?"

If James could read Harry's mind, he would have known that Harry got a thrill by hearing his full name for the first time.

"Yeah." James panted, holding onto the door frame.

"You don't look so good." Aberforth acknowledged.

"There's Death Eaters outside. Four of them." James said breathlessly.

"Are they still out there?" Aberforth asked in alarm.

"Nah, we stunned them." James panted some more.

"Did you run all the way here?" Aberforth questioned.

James nodded.

"I suppose you want a room." Aberforth said.

"No, we just have to use the passageway to get back to Hogwarts." James said.

"I see." Aberforth rubbed his face tiredly. "I don't usually let people go through the passageway. Tell 'em to get lost is what I normally do. But you entertained me quite a bit when you were at Hogwarts, and brought quite a crowd into my pub. And seeing that you have a child with you..." Aberforth sighed and said, "Come with me."

They followed Aberforth to a portrait of a blonde girl who smiled down at the three of them. Aberforth gazed at the portrait with an emotion in his eyes James had never seen there before. His blue eyes were full of both affection and sadness, two emotions James hadn't thought Aberforth capable of feeling. Then the portrait swung open, revealing the entrance to a tunnel behind it.

"Right through there. Keep on going, it'll lead you to Hogwarts." Aberforth grumbled, rubbing at his eyes. James could have sworn he saw tears in them. "Don't mention this to anyone."

After promising Aberforth he wouldn't tell anyone about it, James climbed through the portrait hole. Once he was sure there weren't any Death Eaters lurking around in the tunnel, he motioned for Harry to follow them. They walked through the darkness for what seemed like ages before they finally reached the end.

The room they entered looked a lot likes James' guest bedroom: a small replica of a Gryffindor dorm room, with red and gold covers on a four poster bed and Gryffindor wall scrolls on the stone walls. There was a first aid kit sitting on a table by the fireplace and a door that led to the rest of the castle.

James wondered what room this was, and what part of the castle it was located in. However, he was too tired to wonder about it too much. He sighed in relief as he collapsed into a nearby chair. He'd made it back to Hogwarts with Harry alive, and everything would probably be okay.

But there was still the matter of Harry's injuries.

"Harry, your hands are cut up." James said. "You have to see Madam Pomfrey. And I have to let Dumbledore know we're back. I can't even remember how long we've been gone."

"Well, it was really early in the morning when we got here. Then we left a few hours later. And its nighttime now." Harry said. "So we've been gone all day."

"It feels like weeks." James said. He got up from the chair and said, "Come on, let's get you to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey can heal your hands in a matter of minutes."

"No! She's crazy!" Harry protested. "She's going to try to check my vital signs again and her wand will end up in my eye like last time."

"Last time you weren't really injured, but this time you are." James said.

"I'm not injured, its just a few small cuts." Harry said.

James didn't know if Harry was actually injured or if his fatherly instincts were causing him to overreact. He wasn't used to this fierce protectiveness he felt. He hadn't had to worry about a child's safety in twelve years, and now he felt like he couldn't tell the difference between actual injuries and minor cuts.

"Well, I'm no healer, but would you let _me _heal your hands?" James asked.

Harry nodded without hesitation and James was pleased that Harry trusted him so much.

"Alright, sit down. There's a first aid kit over there, I'll go get it." James said. "And its almost alarming how convenient that is."

James marveled at how convenient it was that there was a first aid kit already laid out, as if someone knew James would be needing it. He grabbed the kit from the table by the fire and then knelt in front of Harry who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Inside the first aid kit was a bottle of Skele-Gro, vials of potions and some magically absorbent cloth. Then at the bottom there were some muggle things like tweezers and gauze.

"I don't want to attempt a healing spell because I'm rubbish at them, and if I did it wrong it could end up hurting you." James said. "So is it alright if I do it the muggle way?"

Harry nodded, relieving James of any doubt about the Death Eaters' brainwashing having no effect on him. He was proud to see that Harry was so open minded despite having been raised around racist sadists.

"Aguamenti." James said with his wand over Harry's hands. The water poured down into Harry's palms and washed away the blood. Then James set his wand down and picked up a pair of tweezers. "If this hurts, tell me and I'll stop, alright?"

Harry nodded. James carefully began to pluck pieces of glass from Harry's skin.

"How do you know how to do this?" Harry asked.

"Your mum showed me how to do this a few years ago." James said. "She's muggle-born."

"Is she alive?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes." James smiled. "I don't think I'd still be here if she weren't."

"What do you mean?" Harry's brow furrowed.

"Ah, I mean that she, uh, saved my life a few times." James lied quickly. He tried to change the subject. "Are you sure this isn't hurting you?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Harry said. "Her name is Lily, isn't it?"

"Yeah, her name is Lily." James answered, feeling a sense of warmth just by saying her name.

"Can I meet her?" Harry asked.

"Yes." James' heart started pounding in excitement. He fought to stop his hand from shaking as he pulled a piece of glass from Harry's hand.

"When?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Soon. I don't know exactly when, but soon."

Harry was silent for a few moments. Then he spoke up, "Would she _want_ to meet me?"

"Of course!" James said loudly, looking up into Harry's eyes. "Why wouldn't she want to?"

"Well, I've been gone for twelve years. I don't want to interrupt her life." Harry said. "I don't want to interrupt _your_ life, either."

"Oh, please _do_ interrupt our lives." James said. "That would be the best thing for us. And I really mean that. You were everything to us before the Death Eaters took you. When you were gone...we were miserable at best. Now that I have you back, you're everything to me again. And I know you'd be everything to your mum again, once she finds out you're alive."

Harry looked down at his hands. The glass was mostly gone now.

"I'll try to convince Dumbledore to let your mum come here. He didn't want me telling her that you're here for a number of 'safety' reasons. He said if we told your mum that you're here at Hogwarts, the Death Eaters would torture her to find that out. But the Death Eaters must already know that you're here if they came after us in Hogsmeade. And its not like the Death Eaters can get into Hogwarts. There's too many protections. Especially with Dumbledore here." James said. "And besides, if we had told your mum you were here, and the Death Eaters tried to get information out of her, she would never have told them anything, no matter what they did to her."

"She must be brave then." Harry said.

"You get it from her." James said, making Harry grin.

"I was under the impression I got it from you." Harry said.

"Fine, you got it from both of us." James grinned back. "And the glass is gone from your hands now."

Harry looked down at his glass-free hands.

"I'm going to put this on them," James held up a small vial of disinfectant. "to keep the wounds from getting infected. It should sting a little."

Harry cringed as James poured the cold liquid over the cuts on his hands.

"Sorry." James said, hating to see Harry in pain, even though the pain was only minor. "But you need some on your face, too. You've got a scratch on your cheek."

He poured disinfectant on the cloth and gently pressed it against the cut on Harry's face, his stomach fluttering with tender affection when the boy's eyes drooped shut tiredly.

"You should go to sleep now." James said. "Its getting late and you probably haven't gotten a proper good night's sleep in ages. Merlin knows how often those bloody lunatics let you sleep."

"Not very." Harry admitted. "But I'm not tired."

"You look like you're going to pass out, Harry. And when we were at the Ministry, you fainted from exhaustion." James tried to reason with him. "Please do me a favor and go to sleep."

Harry sighed and laid down on the bed.

"What about you? You look tired, too." Harry said.

"Well, I have to go tell Dumbledore we're back and that we haven't been murdered." James said and slowly backed towards the door. "I'll come back to check on you after."

"No, don't leave!" Harry sat up. "Please."

James' heart softened at the desperation in Harry's voice.

"Well, I suppose we can let Dumbledore wait just a little longer." James said. "As a sort of payback for trying to make me wait to tell you the truth."

Harry smiled. James came and sat beside him on the bed.

"Try to go to sleep." James said. "I won't leave. I promise."

Harry closed his eyes and was still for a few moments. But then his eyes shot open and he said, "Its too quiet. I can't sleep."

"You can't sleep when its quiet?"

Harry shook his head.

"What do you want me to do?" James asked.

"Talk to me. Tell me about the Marauders." Harry said. Then he smiled and said, "You're Prongs from the story you told me earlier, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. How'd you find out?"

"That's a story for another day." Harry said mysteriously. "Tell me more about the Marauders."

"Alright, so you want me to tell you about the Marauders. Well, there's loads of stories I could tell you. Let me think...oh, have you met Filch yet?"

"No, I haven't."

"He's the grumpy old caretaker here. He's in love with his cat and has no life whatsoever."

"Sounds like a charming fellow."

"Stop talking. You can't fall asleep if you're talking. Anyway, one of the other Marauders, Padfoot, is your godfather. His real name is Sirius. You'll have to meet him soon, too. Same goes for Moony, whose real name is Remus. Wormtail is actually Peter Pettigrew. Do you know him?"

"You told me not to talk. I can't sleep if I'm talking."

"I'm making an exception, wiseguy."

"Yes, I know him. He's a git."

"Right you are. He's a bloody traitor and one day I'm going to wring his neck for kidnapping you. Well, back to the subject of Filch. We came up with this game where we had to try to throw things in his pumpkin juice at dinner..."

Harry closed his eyes and listened. James gently stroked his hair, hoping it would help him fall to sleep. He could hardly believe that he was sitting next to his long lost son, telling him a bedtime story. He could hardly believe that a little over 24 hours ago, he didn't even know Harry was alive. It felt an entire year had been packed into that one day. The past 24 hours had changed James' entire life. And even though Dumbledore was probably worried out of his mind, and Lily was at home alone, James couldn't bring himself to be upset. He was soothingly running his hands through Harry's hair to help him fall asleep, and that was all he cared about at the moment. Lily might be alone at home for the time being, but soon they'd all be reunited again. Soon their family would be complete for the first time in twelve years. Soon.

* * *

**I apologize for any typos there might be. I wrote this in a bit of a rush. I know you all wanted to know what's going to happen with Mile, and if he'll get out of Lestrange Manor alright. I promise you'll find out in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed and please review. Reviews make me very happy. :D**


	18. Light up the sky just for you tonight

**Author's note: Oh my god, you guys! I am so so so so sorry times a million that it took me so long to update! I was on vacation for an extra long amount of time, and then when I came home I got grounded and I also had writer's block and its just been crazy. Basically, I am just very very sorry and I tried to make this chapter extra special so it could hopefully make up for the ridiculous amount of time it took me to update. So I hope you enjoy it and I hope it was worth the wait. **

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* * *

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_And I'd give up forever to touch you _  
_Cause I know that you feel me somehow _  
_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be _  
_And I don't want to go home right now _

_And all I can taste is this moment _  
_And all I can breathe is your life _  
_Cause sooner or later it's over _  
_I just don't want to miss you tonight_

* * *

Lily Potter sighed as she listened to one of the new Healers rant on and on about how much she hates house elves. Lily, who had always felt bad for house elves, was tempted to turn around and throw something at the woman but that would be extremely unprofessional. And besides, she had a patient to take care of.

"Where does it hurt?" Lily asked almost monotonously. The answer was always the same:

"I don't know!" The patient complained.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me where it hurts." Lily said exasperatedly.

_God, I can't wait to go home...and its only 6 PM, _Lily thought._ 7 PM couldn't possibly come fast enough...maybe if I pretend to have a headache they'll let me go home early..._

"It just hurts everywhere." The man whined. "I got bit by a leprechaun and before I could take the bugger's gold, he vanished! Now I have leprechaun venom in my bloodstream!"

"You do know that leprechaun gold vanishes after a few hours, right? And there's no such thing as leprechaun ven-" Lily started to say but was cut off by a collection of loud bangs and shouts from somewhere down the hall. Then she heard a familiar voice yell, "Everyone stop crowding around him, give him room to breathe!"

_Rufus Scrimgeour? _Lily wondered. _What's he doing here..._

"I'll be right back." Lily said to the man with the "leprechaun bite" before running out into the corridor. Truthfully, she was thankful for the interruption. But she was also worried about why _Aurors_ would be there at St. Mungo's. Down at the end of the hall she could see a group of Aurors standing around, one of them being levitated into another room on a stretcher. Then she remembered that she hadn't heard from James in almost 24 hours and a sudden sense of worry made her run down the hall towards the Aurors. The first Auror she saw was Kingsley Shacklebolt, her long time friend. "Kingsley, what's happening? Who's hurt?"

Kingsley looked slightly guilty and uncomfortable by her question.

"Well..."

"Its not James, is it? Or Sirius and Remus?"

"The man on the stretcher was Thomas McNaughton." Kingsley said.

"Oh, you found him. That's great!" Lily said. "So where's James?"

But Kingsley still looked like he had bad news for her.

"Lily, I'm sorry to say we do not know where James is." Kingsley said, making Lily's stomach do a horrible somersault. "Sirius and Remus aren't here either. We captured a group of Death Eaters at the Ministry and took them to Azkaban. But as we were taking them to Azkaban, Remus transformed into a wolf. Sirius had to turn into a dog so he could run after Remus."

"God, this is horrible!" Lily said.

"As Remus was transforming, he accidentally let Bellatrix Lestrange escape. She took his wand before she ran off." Kingsley finished.

"What else could possibly go wrong?" Lily groaned. "Oh, and when did all of this happen? When did you guys get out of the Ministry?"

"James, Sirius and Remus all went missing early this morning. We got out of the Ministry only a few hours ago. The place is like a maze and it took us hours to find our way back to the entrance. We couldn't Apparate, either, because the wards prevented us. And before we came here, we had to go to Azkaban and lock up all the Death Eaters." Kingsley said.

"I've been to the Ministry of Magic dozens of times before. It doesn't take _hours_ to find your way out, and its usually organized." Lily said, narrowing her eyes.

"We weren't in just any part of the Ministry. We were in the Department of Mysteries." Kingsley said.

"Oh." Lily said. "But why? I thought you were just going to a warehouse in London."

"The plans changed." Kingsley said simply.

Her stomach was in uneasy knots as she stood next to him and watched as McNaughton was levitated into one of the emergency wards. But her concern was not for McNaughton. It was for James. She knew that Sirius and Remus were probably okay and that they could make their way back easily. But if James was hurt...or worse...no, she couldn't allow herself to think like that.

She felt so useless right then. She became a Healer so she could help people. But lately she felt like she wasn't helping anyone. Voldemort was steadily gaining more power by the day and people were vanishing left and right, and there _she_ was healing people with "leprechaun bites" that would probably go away on their own after a few hours.

"I'm going to go talk to McNaughton." Lily declared.

"Only five people are allowed inside at a time and there's already five in there. They won't let you in, we already tried." Paleski told her.

"Watch me." Lily said.

Lily barged straight into the room, despite the protests of the two Healers standing guard at the door. McNaughton was lying on a bed as four Aurors hovered around him, dressing his wounds with bandages and forcing him to drink potions. Rufus Scrimgeour was standing by the bed.

"How'd you get in here?" Scrimgeour demanded.

"I walked through the door." Lily replied breezily.

"Only five people are allowed in here at a time."

"I don't think I care." Lily said.

"He only needs four Healers." Scrimgeour said.

"That's okay, because I'm not here to heal him, I'm here to get answers." Lily said.

"Anything he has to say would be classified information only a select few Aurors would be allowed to know." Scrimgeour said.

"James would probably be one of those select few Aurors, and he'd tell me everything anyway." Lily said. "Speaking of James, you bloody lost him at the Ministry! And now I want to know what happened."

"_I_ didn't lose him! He got himself lost!" Scrimgeour argued.

"You're his 'commanding officer' or whatever you call yourself these days! He's your responsibility, isn't he?" Lily shouted. "How could you let him get lost? What if the Death Eaters captured him! What if he's hurt, what if he's -"

"Can you stop yellin', Lily?" McNaughton slurred from the bed. "Hurts my ears."

"I'm sorry, Thomas, but James is missing and -"

"Oh, e's fine. I saw him." McNaughton giggled.

"Where?" Lily demanded.

"Don't listen to him, he didn't really see James. He only thinks he did." Scrimgeour said.

Lily ignored him and asked, "Where did you see James, Thomas? Was he alright?"

"Dunno..." McNaughton tried to sit up. "Can't remember...memory all foggy..."

"I need to know everything you remember, McNaughton. You were in Lestrange Manor for days. You could have overheard something important about Voldemort's plans."Scrimgeour said.

"But I can't. My thoughts...all scrambled." McNaughton scrunched his face up. "Maybe if I had a pensieve."

"There's one in a storage closet somewhere upstairs." One of the Healers said. "I can go get it, if you'd like."

"Please do." Scrimgeour said gruffly.

After the Healer left the room to fetch the pensieve, Lily moved closer to McNaughton's bed until she was standing right over him.

"Do you remember anything, Thomas? Anything important at all?" Lily looked down at him eagerly. "Anything?"

He stared up at her, his face screwed up in concentration like he was trying very hard to remember something. Then something seemed to click inside his brain as he stared at her, because his eyes suddenly bulged and he grabbed her wrist with a surprising amount of strength.

"Your eyes." He whispered.

"What about them?" Lily asked cluelessly.

Then McNaughton fell back against his pillow and mumbled something incoherent.

Just then one of the Healers came back into the room, carrying a pensieve. He set the pensieve down on the beside table.

"Put your memories in there, McNaughton. As many as possible." Scrimgeour ordered, handing McNaughton his wand.

McNaughton pressed the tip of the wand against his temple and dragged out the silvery substance that was his memory before placing it in the glowing basin. He continued to do this for about ten minutes before finally stopping.

"I think that's all of 'em." He mumbled. "I can't make sense of them right now, though. Maybe if I look at them later..."

"Do you think your memories would show where James is?" Lily asked.

"He never saw James, Lily!" Scrimgeour snapped impatiently. "He just _thought_ he did."

Before Lily could reply, the door opened and Albus Dumbledore walked in.

"Dumbledore, do you have any news?" Scrimgeour asked.

"No news, but I do have new instructions for you: since Bellatrix Lestrange escaped, I have the feeling she went back to Lestrange Manor. We need to get her back. I want you to go to Lestrange Manor. Normally it would be impossible to get in, but with most of the other Death Eaters locked up in Azkaban, the manor is virtually unguarded. Go there, capture Bellatrix Lestrange and any other Death Eater you come across, and look around for horcruxes if you have time." Dumbledore said. "Take Flaherty with you."

"Albus, do you have any idea where James is?" Lily asked.

Dumbledore said nothing at first, he only stared at her with that unnerving gaze that made you feel like you were under an x-ray. But Lily thought she saw something flicker in his eyes, guilt, possibly. But for the most part, his face remained impassive.

"No, Lily, I'm afraid not." Dumbledore said. "I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is. I have complete faith he'll turn up soon."

Lily's heart deflated as both Dumbledore and Scrimgeour left the room. Eventually, the other Healers left too and McNaughton fell asleep. She sat down in a chair by his bed and put her head in her hands. She simply would not be able to go on if anything happened to James.

_I can't just sit here uselessly while my husband is missing! I have to go out there and look for him! _She thought fiercely. _But how would I find him? I wouldn't even know where to start..._

That last thought trailed off when she suddenly remembered the pensieve sitting by the bed. Of course! Why didn't she think of that sooner? McNaughton says he saw James. Despite what Scrimgeour said, Lily believed McNaughton saw him. Or rather, she _wanted_ to believe it. The memories would have all the answers to her prayers.

She stood up, walked over to the pensieve and looked down into the swirling brightness. Scrimgeour would be so angry if he knew what she was about to do. He'd probably come up with some stupid thing about her "obstructing justice" or "tampering with evidence." A part of her felt guilty that she was going to invade McNaughton's thoughts without his permission. But she _had_ to do it. If that's what it would take to find the only memory of her family she had left, then that's what she'd do.

So she took a deep breath and stuck her head inside the pensieve, plunging herself down into the memories...

* * *

"Bugger, that hurt!" Mile yelled loudly after grabbing a scalding hot doorknob. "Damn these bloody traps!"

He'd been living in Lestrange Manor for as long as he could remember, and yet the house was still like a maze to him; especially since Bellatrix had always forbidden them from going to certain rooms and corridors. This particular corridor only looked slightly familiar to him. He had a faint idea of where he was.

He was looking for Bellatrix's office, the room that was always locked, where Harry said the horcrux would be. His mind was still boggled by the fact that Harry had an alive Auror for a father. Mile's mind was utterly _blown_ by the fact that he too had an alive father, and that he and Harry's fathers knew each other.

_What does this mean for me? _Mile wondered. _Does this mean I have somewhere to go once this mess with the Death Eaters is cleared up? If it ever gets cleared up? Could my father help me clear it up? Or would that be too much to ask? He doesn't even know that I exist...what if he doesn't believe me that I'm his son? Would if he _does_ believe me but he doesn't want me because I'm a Death Eater? _

He kept thinking like this until he arrived at a corridor that he knew well: this was the corridor where Bellatrix's office was. It was right at the end of the hall. Walking carefully in case he fell into a trap, he made his way down the hall. The door to Bellatrix's room was ajar. _  
_

But as he stood outside the door, he could hear someone moving around in there, opening and closing cabinet doors, moving things around. Mile raised his wand and stepped inside, preparing to stun a Death Eater.

But as soon as he walked into the room, the other person in there quickly whipped around and raised their wand as well. And this person was not a Death Eater.

"Expelliarmus!" The man shouted.

The wand flew from Mile's fingertips and hit the wall.

_Damn it!_ Mile cursed inside his head.

"Who are you?" The man demanded in a way that sounded familiar.

"Who are _you?_" Mile borrowed Harry's answer to that question.

Then Mile realized why it sounded so familiar: the man who was questioning Mile now was the same man who questioned Harry at the Ministry: Rufus Scrimgeour. _His father._

Mile's stomach did a flip-flop at this realization and he felt a sort of excited chill run down his spine as he studied the man who was his father. He wore spectacles over yellowish eyes and had tawny, gray-streaked hair. If Mile didn't already know that the man was his father, he never would have guessed that they were related. They looked nothing alike.

"You...you look familiar." Scrimgeour lowered his wand slightly. "Where've I seen you before?"

"The Ministry." Mile said, a bit shakily, if he was honest with himself. "I was one of the Junior Death Eaters you talked to."

Scrimgeour continued to stare at Mile.

"My friend blew up the ceiling." Mile blurted out.

"Yes, but..." Scrimgeour took off his glasses, rubbed them against his shirt, put them back on and squinted at Mile's face. "You...your face just...reminds me of someone." Scrimgeour shook his head as if trying to banish a silly thought.

"My mum, possibly." Mile said loudly. The shock from seeing his father was starting to wear off, and he was starting to get his old confident demeanor back. "Yeah, that must be it."

"Marie. You look like Marie." Scrimgeour said with wide eyes. "Why do you look like Marie?"

"I guess that's just how genetics work, Daddy-o." Mile grinned. "Are you looking for the horcrux?"

"Yes, I found it in the top drawer of this desk right here and did you just call me D-Daddy-o?"

"Yeah, 'Dad' just sounded too plain to me, I thought I might spice it up a bit. Also, you might want to pocket that horcrux and get out of here before the Death Eaters come. You should take it to Hogwarts. People there are expecting me to bring it to them."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying we should quick beating around the bush and get to Hogwarts, dearest father of mine!" Mile picked his wand up off the floor, ran to the door and looked over at an utterly shocked Scrimgeour standing in the middle of the room, his eyes bulging out of his head as he stared at Mile. "Come on, quick wasting time! Also, don't forget to pick your jaw up off the floor before we leave. And you might want to put your eyeballs back in their sockets."

Scrimgeour put the horcrux in his pocket with a shaking hand and reluctantly followed Mile, leaving caution behind.

* * *

Lily understood how memories and pensieves worked. The pensieve only shows you whatever the person's memory beholds, and sometimes memories don't always tell the truth. So if McNaughton was lying to himself, the memory would be lying as well. And if McNaughton had been hallucinating at the time, the hallucination would show up in the pensieve. And if the memory was fuzzy, choppy or was interrupted suddenly, then that would be how the memory played out in the pensieve.

But despite knowing all this, she was still surprised by the world in the pensieve around her. She was standing in a dank room that was dimly lit with green lanterns. The edges of the walls looked blurry, like a faded photograph. It didn't look like real life at all. It looked like how the world would look to an intoxicated person.

Then the memory changed. She was standing next to McNaughton in Diagon Alley as a group of Death Eaters came closer and closer. One of the Death Eaters hit McNaughton with a hex. The colors of the memory bled together, like water splashed onto a canvas. Then it all went black and the memory changed.

She was back in the dark room with the green lanterns. McNaughton was lying on the floor, Bellatrix Lestrange standing above him, with a young boy at her side. The boy had light brown hair and blue eyes and had an eager look on his face.

"Go on, Kyro. Show me your best Cruciatus." Bellatrix said encouragingly.

"No, please -" McNaughton started to beg.

"Crucio!" The boy called Kyro grinned as McNaughton began to scream in pain.

Lily cringed and looked away, her heart pounding in sympathy for McNaughton as he writhed on the floor. The curse was lifted after about thirty seconds and Bellatrix had a pleased smile on her face as she looked down at Kyro.

"I'm proud of you, Kyro." Bellatrix said. "You're going to do great on the mission next week. I know I won't have to worry about _you_ when we're fighting the Aurors. You could take them down easily."

Kyro beamed with pleasure at receiving compliments from Bellatrix.

Little red dots started appearing all over the room, and Lily guessed this was because McNaughton was about to pass out. She knew she guessed correct when the memory suddenly faded to black.

Then there was light again. The gloomy green light from the lanterns on the walls illuminated a new scene. McNaughton was curled up on the floor, whimpering in pain and fear, as Bellatrix was talking to a boy who was standing in the corner. However, Lily could not tell what the boy looked like, for the shadows covered his face.

"Come on, just curse him. Kyro did it just fine." Bellatrix said exasperatedly.

"But he didn't _do_ anything." The boy replied. Lily was surprised at how young he sounded. He seemed to be even younger than the other boy. Twelve years old, or maybe thirteen, was Lily's guess. "Why should I?"

"Because I said so." Bellatrix snapped.

"That's not good enough."

"Well then, because the Dark Lord said so." Bellatrix said sternly. "And because this man is a pathetic Auror who was foolish enough to challenge the Dark Lord! That's why you need to curse him! Because he deserves it!"

The boy didn't answer her. She sighed and pressed her hand against her forehead.

"Honey, why won't you listen to me?" Bellatrix asked in an uncharacteristically sweet voice that made Lily cringe. "I always know best, don't I? I'm always looking out for you, aren't I? You know that I'm only telling you to do this because I care about you, right?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Bellatrix?"

Bellatrix groaned.

"Come on, look at him, he's pathetic. He deserves the pain, you know he does." Bellatrix changed tactics. "Come over here!"

Bellatrix grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him towards her, into the light. And Lily saw the boy's face for the first time.

Her heart missed a beat.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Her stomach did a flip.

Her mind shut down.

The earth was thrown off its axis.

The entire universe was suddenly turned inside-out as she stared at this boy, this boy with a face that looked so much like hers and so much like James' and so much like the joyous, happy life she used to know. It seemed like the memory froze or was put on pause, because time itself seemed to have stopped and everything was suspended in that one moment.

"Oh my god." Lily whispered, her trembling hand coming up to her mouth. "Oh my god."

He had wide green eyes and a small nose she recognized as her own, but his mouth and messy dark hair were just like James'. The room started to sway around her, and everything started to look blurry, but it had nothing to do with McNaughton's mind this time. She held onto the wall to steady herself and tried very hard not to faint.

"Look at him. Look at him squirm. Its pathetic. He _deserves_ the pain. And you can do it. Feel the power in your hand."

Bellatrix grabbed Harry's arm and forced him to point his wand at McNaughton.

"Its just one little word, Harry."

The name hit Lily like a wrecking ball.

_Harry._ She thought, clamping her hand over her mouth as if trying to stop the bile that was rising up in her throat. _Harry...that's Harry..._

A part of her realized that she was being too calm. But it wasn't a genuine calmness, it was more like the calm before the storm. Her mind was still processing what she was seeing, still trying to make sense of it. That was why she wasn't freaking out yet. However, she could sense that the wave of emotions was coming. It was building up below the surface, like an underwater volcano, and it was due to erupt any second.

"Crucio. Say it. Say it and mean it." Bellatrix continued trying to coax him into cursing McNaughton, who had started sobbing on the floor. "Say the curse now, Harry."

"I _can't._" Harry said.

_Harry...that's Harry...that's my son, Harry...it has to be...that's my son...my Harry..._Lily's breath was starting to come in short, uneven gasps. _Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry -_

"HARRY!" She yelled, crossing the room in the memory to kneel in front of him. She put her hands on the sides of his face and stared at him although he did not stare back. He did not react to her at all; he could not feel her hands on him, he could not see her staring at him with eyes that matched his own. "Harry, oh my god, Harry -"

His hand that held the wand was shaking. She reached down and grabbed his hand, wrapping it inside her own, and tried to steady it and keep it from trembling. But of course, that didn't work. His hand continued to tremble and Lily's touch had no affect on him.

A small part of her knew that he wouldn't react to her at all because this was all just a memory of something that already happened. But the rest of her chose to ignore that knowledge, and she continued trying to make contact with him.

"Harry, Harry, please hear me." She ran her hand across the back of his neck. "Harry -"

Without warning, the memory changed. Harry and McNaughton were standing in some sort of foyer. It was dark and quiet and the only sounds were Harry's heavy breathing and McNaughton's confused mumbles of "What's going on?" and "Where are we?"

Harry opened a door that led outside, where it was pitch black except for the stars swimming around in the sky.

"You have to get out of here or they'll kill you." Harry said. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, yes, I understand." McNaughton said. But then he stumbled loudly and nearly fell over. "Wait, where am I?"

"It doesn't matter, just go." Harry said. The edges of the memory started looking blurry again, and Harry's voice sounded like it was coming from the end of a long tunnel. "Go out there and run!"

Harry gave McNaughton a shove outside. McNaughton stumbled around in the dark for a few moments before finally deciding to run. He ran blindly in the darkness before he tripped over something and fell on his face.

The memory changed back. They were in the dungeon again. McNaughton was slumped down on the floor. Bellatrix was standing over him, gripping Harry's forearm. Lily wanted to grab Bellatrix's hand and pry it off of Harry. She wanted to bend Bellatrix's fingers back and break them.

"Did he help you escape?" Bellatrix demanded. "Did he?"

"No." McNaughton said, his eyes darting back and forth from Harry to Bellatrix. "He didn't."

"Someone had to have helped you. You couldn't have gotten out on your own. I know that my husband didn't let you out, and none of the other Junior Death Eaters would have done it. They're not brave enough to do it. They're too smart for bravery." Bellatrix said. "So either Harry helped you escape, or you have a fairy godmother that nobody knows about who let you out."

"It was a fairy godmother, then." McNaughton said.

Bellatrix slashed McNaughton's arm open with the Cutting Curse. He hissed in pain and grabbed his arm, examining the wound.

"Really?" Bellatrix said. "Then where's the fairy godmother now?"

"Lunch break?" McNaughton suggested weakly.

Lily gasped loudly as Bellatrix turned around and randomly slapped Harry across the face, so that he fell back against the wall. It was like a punch in Lily's gut, watching that happen. The moment Bellatrix's hand hit Harry's face, Lily felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. She knelt in front of Harry and gently placed her hand against his face where Bellatrix slapped him, pretending he could feel her touch. Harry touched his lip and saw blood come off on his fingers. Bellatrix had slapped him so hard his mouth had actually started bleeding. Anger surged through Lily so hard, she wanted to snap something in half, preferably Bellatrix's neck. She wanted to do so many violent things she'd never even imagined before.

"Next time you make a wisecrack like that, I'll hit Harry again. And you probably don't want me to do that, since you seem so keen on protecting him." Bellatrix said. "But there's no point in trying to protect him, Thomas, because I know that he helped you escape. You can deny it all you want but I _know_. I just want one of you to admit it."

"He didn't help me, I escaped on my own, I'm telling you the truth!" McNaughton said.

Bellatrix grabbed Harry's wrist and slashed it open with her wand. Lily pressed her hand against her mouth to muffle her scream of horror as Harry's blood splattered onto the wall.

"Are you sure about that?" Bellatrix grinned. "Choose your answer wisely."

"Don't hurt him, he's just a kid -"

"Wrong answer." Bellatrix made another cut on Harry's wrist.

Harry slumped down to the floor and started panting.

"You just keep picking the wrong answer." Bellatrix said. "Do I have to keep cutting him?"

"NO!" Lily screamed. She wrapped her arms around Harry's shoulders as Bellatrix raised her wand again, as if she could somehow change the past. "NO, NO, DON'T!"

But instead of cutting Harry's wrist, Bellatrix hit him with some sort of spell that knocked him out. His eyes closed as he fell over onto his side, his cheek pressing against the cold stone of the floor. Lily wasn't sure if she should be relieved or worried.

"What did you do to him?" McNaughton asked Bellatrix what Lily was thinking.

"Just put him to sleep. He sounded like he was going to start hyperventilating, and that would have really annoyed me." Bellatrix said. "Did he help you escape?"

"N-no! He didn't!" McNaughton lied. "I swear."

"This changes nothing for you." Bellatrix said before pointing her wand at him.

"W-wait! I've figured out why he looks familiar." McNaughton said. "His eyes...Lily Potter...that's her and James' son. Their son who was killed years ago."

"Very clever of you to notice. Yes, he is the son of Lily and James Potter." Bellatrix declared, making Lily's heart soar. But then she gave a cruel smile and said, "But he doesn't know that. So sshh! Don't tell the secret."

"I'll tell them! I'll tell them their son is alive!" McNaughton yelled. "I'll tell them you have him!"

"How could you do that, McNaughton, if you don't remember anything?" Bellatrix said. "_Obliviate."_

McNaughton fell back against the floor, blinking around in confusion.

"Wh-where am I? What is this place?" He sat up.

"And besides," Bellatrix continued as if she hadn't just tampered with his memory. "its not like you'll ever see the light of day again."

The rest of McNaughton's memories flashed by in a haze of confusion, in a random order...Harry and another boy pulling McNaughton out of a trunk...McNaughton trying to fight off Death Eaters at Diagon Alley...being tortured by Bellatrix...Harry trembling in fear as Bellatrix tried to force him to cruciate McNaughton - witnessing that particular memory made Lily start sobbing uncontrollably...though most of these memories flashed by too quickly for Lily to concentrate on any of them.

But then one memory jumped out at her, clearer than the others. McNaughton was being brought into a room full of Death Eaters to be interrogated about the Order's plans. There was a long table where the Death Eaters sat in two rows, facing each other. Two of the Death Eaters tied McNaughton to a chair at the end of the table so all the Death Eaters could see him.

They asked him questions but he never gave them answers. Each time he didn't answer, they'd Cruciate him. But amongst the faces of the Death Eaters at the table, Lily saw Harry sitting between Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Bellatrix grinned as McNaughton was tortured, but Harry looked sympathetic and absolutely horrified. Just as Lily started wishing she could run over and cover Harry's eyes, he buried his face in his arms.

And that's when it _really_ hit her: Harry was alive. He had always been alive. Voldemort hadn't killed him twelve years ago when he was just a baby. Instead he was here in this hellhole, being raised by a sadistic maniac. And even though Bellatrix had tried to make him Cruciate McNaughton, Harry wouldn't do it. He'd even risked his life to try to help McNaughton escape. Lily could feel an ocean of emotions running through her veins and a tornado of different thoughts storming around in her mind. Her heart felt so heavy and so light at the same time. That was when she started laughing.

Then the memory faded to white and she could feel herself rising up, out of the memory, out of the pensieve and onto the floor of the St. Mungo's emergency ward, where she continued to laugh until her sides ached and she couldn't breathe and couldn't even remember why she was laughing.

She could only hear '_HARRY'S ALIVE, HARRY'S ALIVE, MY SON IS ALIVE'_ singing inside her head, and she could practically feel his pulse in her own veins. Just by knowing he was out there somewhere, living and breathing, she could feel his heart beating inside of her own. She was vaguely aware of an Auror coming into the room and helping her up off the floor. She could vaguely hear people asking her why she was laughing and then why she was crying, but she couldn't answer any of them. Words couldn't explain it and frankly, she didn't feel like she needed to explain. All she could do was run her hands through her hair and laugh hysterically, and the only time she spoke was when another Healer tried to sedate her. She mumbled "No, no, I'm okay" before falling back down and laughing again.

She kept alternating between laughing and sobbing. She'd laugh and laugh and feel like she was floating in the clouds as she thought '_Harry's alive, he's alive and breathing' _but then the horrifying image of Bellatrix slitting his wrists would come crashing down on her and she'd start sobbing, but then she'd think '_at least he's alive' _and start laughing again.

There came a point when sobbed so hard she actually threw up into a trash bin. That was when everyone started to panic. She could hear everyone buzzing around her, feel their worried stares on her, but she waved them away and continued laughing as if she hadn't just been sick.

But then a horrible thought penetrated her little bubble of hysteria: _Harry is alive. What am I doing standing around laughing like an idiot? I have to wipe my tears and go find him. He could be at Lestrange Manor, with Bellatrix Lestrange. I have to go protect him._

She wiped her face on her sleeve, stumbled toward her locker where she kept her things, shoved anything that looked important into a bag and Apparated before anyone could ask where she was going.

_I'll find you, Harry. _She thought as the familiar squeezing sensation of Apparating took over. _I'll find you and take you home._

_

* * *

_**Lily knows! Hurray! Dumbledore thought he could hide it from her, but he seemed to have forgotten that she is a Gryffindor and you just can't hide things from us Gryffindors. We're too pushy. Its even harder to hide things from Hufflepuffs, because they're particularly good finders. /A Very Potter Musical reference. Please forgive my nerdiness. And once again, I'm very sorry for the long time it took to update/ Forgive me? :) Please review. :D **_  
_


	19. Help you fly cause you won't have time

**Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. :D I tried to update as soon as I could, instead of leaving you hanging for weeks at a time like last time. =P Sorry about that again, by the way. And now here we go...!  
**

* * *

_Sleep, sleep little darling_  
_ I swear I'm not trying to wear you out_  
_ I'm not trying to drag you down_

_ When you fall asleep tonight_  
_ They'll be waiting for you_  
_ When you try and close your eyes_  
_ They'll try not to hate you_  
_ Sleep, sleep the night away_  
_ Act like nothing's wrong_  
_ You know we're going down_

* * *

Harry was cold and shaking. He felt bare and exposed and so very, very cold. He could feel a hard, icy surface under his back and suddenly had the realization that he was lying on a metal table, shirtless. Then he remembered that he had so many scars on his torso that he didn't want anyone to see. He quickly crossed his arms, trying to cover himself.

"There's no point in trying to cover your scars, Harry." He heard Bellatrix's voice. "I've already seen them. I'm the one who gave them to you, remember?"

He sat up in alarm and looked around. He was in a bright white room that smelled sharp like bleach. Panic gripped him tightly and his blood started to race as he wondered how he got there.

"How'd I get here? How'd _you_ get here? Where's my - my -"

"Your daddy?" Bellatrix suddenly appeared in front of him, pouting mockingly. "Does the poor baby miss his daddy?"

"I fell asleep. He was beside me." Harry started breathing shakily like he was about to throw up. "I can't be here. I can't."

"Well, you're not really _here_ with me." Bellatrix said. "You're still at Hogwarts. Or at least your body is."

"Wait, what does that -"

"It means that you're dreaming."

"I want to wake up."

"You can't. " Bellatrix grinned slowly. "You don't control this dream. I do."

"If this is a dream then you're not really here."

"Oh, yes I am. I'm here in your mind, Harry." Bellatrix said. "Don't you remember, Harry? Don't you remember that we have a method of finding you wherever you are? You can run but you can't hide. You can travel to the other side of the world but we'll always have a way of reaching you."

Harry had started shaking. He swallowed nervously because he knew she was right.

"Of course I'm right." Bellatrix said. "I'm always right."

"How'd you know what I was thinking?" Harry asked.

"I'm in your mind, you stupid boy." Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "Of course I know what you're thinking."

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

Harry was suddenly pushed down onto the table by an invisible force. Bellatrix raked her nails across his bare chest, slicing it open. He cried out in pain and squeezed his eyes shut.

_I want to wake up, I want to wake up, I want to wake up -_

"You can't wake up until I let you wake up." Bellatrix said.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Harry yelled

"I just want to remind you who you belong to." Bellatrix said.

"DAD! DAD, WAKE ME UP!" Harry said as Bellatrix began to trail her cold finger down his bare chest, making him squirm in disgust.

"He won't hear you." She grinned sadistically. "And I just want to let you know that you can't play "daddy's boy" forever. Sooner or later your dad is going to find out about the little _link_ we have to you, and he probably won't want anything to do with you after that."

"He won't be mad if he finds out." Harry said shakily. "He'd still care about me."

"Would he? I'm not so sure." Bellatrix clicked her tongue. "If you're so positive that your dad would still care about you once he finds out, then why haven't you told him?"

"I - I have." Harry lied.

"No you haven't." Bellatrix said. "You've been trying to make sure he doesn't see it. You've been hiding it from him."

"I haven't been hiding it, I just haven't been showing it off."

"Why?" Bellatrix smiled cruelly. "Does it scare you? Does the sight of it scare you?"

"Shut up."

"Because it reminds you of who you really are -"

"Shut up!"

"Who we made you into -"

"Stop!"

"One of us." Bellatrix grabbed his wrist and held it up to his face, forcing him to look at the Dark Mark emblazoned there. He tried to turn his head so he could look away, but she grabbed his head and prevented him from moving it. "Don't try to look away from it, Harry. Accept it. Its there. It will always be there. Nothing you try to do will ever get rid of it. And I _know_ you've tried to get rid of it before."

"No I haven't." Harry said.

"Then what's all this?" Bellatrix pointed at the long scratches that went from his elbow to his wrist, right over the Dark Mark.

"Scars." Harry said simply.

"Scars from what?"

"You."

"No, they're not. I never cut you on this arm. I always cut you on the other arm. This was all you."

"Shut up, Bella!"

"Sinking your nails into your flesh and dragging your hand across your wrist until it bleeds, desperately trying to claw the mark out of your skin."

_Suddenly Harry was thrown into one of his own memories from a year ago. He'd been standing in the bathroom at Lestrange Manor, sitting on the floor with his sleeves rolled up so he could stare at the Dark Mark with horrified eyes. His eyes had been glassy with unshed tears as he looked at it and looked at it, and eventually he couldn't take it anymore. He dug his nails into the skin near his elbow and dragged it down the length of his wrist, gasping in pain. He looked at his wrist and saw he'd barely left a mark. Trying again, he dug his nails in, pressing down harder and harder until blood bubbled up at the surface. Once he saw blood, he dragged his nails across his wrist again, harder and harder. When he was done, there were two long scratches there. But it wasn't enough. He stood up, rifled through a cabinet until he found one of Bellatrix's knives, and pressed the tip against his skin. His heart had been pounding in fear of what he was about to. He hadn't ever done something to hurt himself before. He hated pain, he hated it when Bellatrix cut him, and now he was willingly cutting himself. But what other choice did he have? The mark on his wrist made him sick every time he looked at it. It made him one of them, one of those murderers. So he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the knife across his wrist, hot tears leaking out of them and streaming down his pale face, crying out in pain when the knife slashed his skin open. And then he sobbed in frustration and anguish when he saw the mark was still there, unaffected by his cuts..._

"GET OUT OF MY MEMORIES!" Harry yelled.

"Oh, poor baby. Crying as he cuts his wrists, trying in vain to get rid of the Dark Mark..." Bellatrix mocked.

"So what if I did? What about it?"

"What I'm trying to say is you can't ever get rid of it. You can use your nails, you can use a knife, you can carve up your entire arm with whatever sharp object you can find but the mark will never go away." Then Bellatrix smiled and leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "And how much will daddy care about you when he finds out about the Dark Mark, the symbol of what he hates the most, on your wrist? He tries to tell you, tries to tell himself, that you're not a Death Eater. But how will he be able to deny it once he sees the mark?" Harry closed his eyes and tried to block out the sound of her voice. Bellatrix spoke even louder, "He won't be able to."

Harry had a lump in his throat and his eyes stung with tears.

"You think this is bad, Harry? Me taunting you in your dreams?" Bellatrix scoffed. "This is just the beginning. Thanks to that mark on your wrist, we have access to you anytime. We can torture you from miles away, if we feel like it."

"How are you talking to me right now, though? Mile stunned you! You should be unconscious!" Harry yelled.

"I am unconscious, you idiot. How else would I get into your dreams? And I'm going to stay here with you until someone comes to wake me up. And that could take a while, since most of the other Death Eaters are in Azkaban right now." Bellatrix smiled. "Yes, just you and me. So what should I do to pass the time? Should I continue to taunt you emotionally, or should we move onto physical torture? I can do that to you, you know, even if we're both unconscious."

"How?"

"The Dark Lord taught me so many wonderful things." Bellatrix said. "He knows how to do just about everything. It was foolish of you to change sides."

"I was never on your side to begin with." Harry said. "I never -"

But then Bellatrix vanished right before his eyes. He stayed still waited for her to reappear, but she didn't.

"Bella?" He called out. There was nothing but silence in reply.

_Someone must have woken her up,_ Harry thought. _Now maybe I can wake up. _He started thinking to himself, _Let me wake up, let me wake up, let me wake up..._

And then he jolted upright in bed, his heart drumming in his ears as he looked around the dark room. He was relieved to see that he was back in that room at Hogwarts instead of at Lestrange Manor with Bellatrix. There were blankets on him. He thought,_ How did these blankets get on me? I don't remember climbing under the covers before I fell asleep..._

Then he spotted his dad sitting on a couch at the other side of the room, looking at him.

"Are you alright, Harry?" James asked.

Harry didn't answer at first. His dream was still vivid in his mind, he could still hear Bellatrix's taunting words in his head, could still feel her nails on his bare chest.

"I'm fine." Harry said hoarsely.

"Are you sure?" James asked uncertainly. "You were breathing strangely. I was debating on whether or not I should wake you up. Did you have a nightmare?"

Harry nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked.

Harry shook his head.

"Alright then." James sighed and leaned back on the couch.

Harry laid back down in the bed but he felt cold and shivery, even with the blankets on him. And he just didn't feel safe. What if he fell asleep an Bellatrix was there again? His stomach did a horrible flip at the thought of it. Or even worse, what if Bellatrix found some way to attack James while they were sleeping? The idea would have sounded ridiculous before, but if Bellatrix could torture Harry in his dreams, she could probably do anything. Voldemort taught her tons of horrible things. Harry didn't even know if he wanted to go to sleep. He didn't want to go to sleep in the same place he'd had a nightmare. It felt like sleeping in a grave.

Without even thinking about it, he got out of bed, crossed the room and sat on the couch next to James.

"Do you want to stay over here?" James asked.

"Is that okay?" Harry asked.

"Of course it is. Are you cold?" James asked. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over Harry. "Lay down and try to go back to sleep. It'll be okay. Bad dreams are only in your mind. They can't really hurt you."

Harry didn't close his eyes. He continued to stare out into the darkness anxiously. _If only you knew,_ Harry thought. _If you knew, you wouldn't say that. If you knew, you wouldn't even care about me. You'd hate me._

"Is there something else bothering you?" James asked.

Harry shook his head quickly, maybe a bit _too_ quickly.

"Really?" James asked, disbelief evident in his voice. "Nothing at all? You can tell me anything, Harry."

"Its nothing." Harry said.

He curled up against James' side and laid his head on his chest. James wrapped his arm around him and weaved his fingers through his hair softly. So many emotions and feelings ran through Harry, clashing together and confusing him. He felt so safe and warm lying in his dad's arms, and he felt this pleasant shivery feeling in his spine as James touched his hair. But contrasting with that was all the worry nagging at him. He was so worried about losing his dad. They were just reunited. Harry didn't want to lose him again. Also, he was worried about his dad in general. He'd never really had anyone to really worry about before. But now that he had family, he couldn't stop worrying. He didn't want anything bad to happen to his dad. Harry couldn't stand the thought of him getting hurt.

And above all, he was terrified of how James would react if he ever saw the Dark Mark on Harry's wrist. James was an Auror who despised Voldemort and anyone associated with him. The Dark Mark was Voldemort's symbol. If he found out that Harry had Voldemort's symbol permanently etched onto his wrist, giving the Death Eaters access to him whenever they want, how would he feel? Would he be mad at Harry for lying to him? Disgusted that Harry had the Dark Mark on him?

"Why are you crying?" James put his hand under Harry's chin and tilted his head back to look into his eyes.

Harry touched his face and to his surprise, felt tears on his fingers.

"You can tell me, Harry." James said earnestly. "Please trust me."

"I do trust you." Harry said.

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong? I know something is wrong, Harry. You had a nightmare and now you're crying." James said.

Then Harry realized the raw emotion in James' voice, and the intensity of the concern in his eyes. He was looking at Harry like his well-being was the most important thing in the world. And for a second Harry felt like telling him the truth. He felt like pulling up his sleeve and showing his dad the Dark Mark, just letting the truth come out. The concerned look in James' eyes made Harry feel like even if he found out about the Dark Mark, he wouldn't be mad.

But then Harry realized how much he liked being cared about. He liked that James was looking at him with concern in his eyes. If Harry told him about the Dark Mark, what if James stopped caring? Harry didn't want to risk it.

"Its nothing. I'm just tired." Harry rubbed the tears away with the sleeve of his blood-stained blazer.

"This blazer is all bloody, Harry. You should take it off and I can find you another one tomorrow." James said.

"No! I can't." Harry said quickly.

James stared at Harry worriedly, wondering why he was acting so strange. Then he realized Harry might have taken what he said out of context and suddenly felt very annoyed at himself. _'Way to go, James. Tell him to take his shirt off. That'll make him feel more comfortable around you.'_

Meanwhile, Harry's heart was pounding anxiously. He didn't want to seem suspicious by not wanting to take the blazer off, but he was wearing a loose-fitting white button-down shirt underneath. The Dark Mark could show through the white fabric, or the loose sleeves could roll up accidentally. He couldn't have that happen. He needed to keep the blazer on.

"I-I'm tired." Harry stammered. "I just want to sleep."

James nodded in understanding and Harry laid his head back down against his chest, listening to the sound of his dad's heartbeat and taking some comfort from it.

* * *

Lily landed hard on her feet outside of Lestrange Manor, with her wand in her hand, a small bag of anything that seemed important under her arm, and no plan whatsoever in her head. But if what Kingsley said was true, then most of the Death Eaters were in Azkaban so there wouldn't be too many Death Eaters inside, except for Bellatrix Lestrange. And what did it even matter? _Harry_ was in there. Lily's own son was living and breathing and was probably less than fifty yards away. Voldemort could have been inside the manor and Lily still would have went charging straight ahead.

Once she made it inside the house, she found it gloomy and empty. It was so quiet Lily felt like the Death Eaters would be able to hear her heart pounding. If she'd thought about it first, she would have realized that it probably wasn't a good idea to walk into every room without pausing and listening at the doors first. But the sound of Harry's voice in her head drowned out her common sense, and so she threw caution to the wind.

She walked through a door and found herself in the dining room. It was probably the brightest room in the house with green and silver wallpaper and bright chandeliers. Nothing in the room seemed out of place, at first. But then she noticed a barely-noticeable door the same color as the wallpaper at the side of the room. The door almost seemed like it was trying to be hidden. This sparked suspicion in Lily. She went through the door and found herself on a dimly lit staircase that winded downstairs.

After descending the staircase, she found herself in a dank, gloomy room with green lanterns on the stone walls and cells against the back wall. _The dungeon,_ Lily thought in excitement and fear. _This is where all of McNaughton's memories took place...this is where Harry was less than a week ago. My son was here. My son was here..._

Thinking that Harry had been there gave her both joy and uneasiness. It was joyous to think that she was standing in the same place her long lost son had stood in. But it was downright disturbing to know that the place her son had been in was the dungeon of a Death Eater's manor.

"Harry?" She called out his name hopefully.

When only silence met her ears, her heart deflated a little bit.

_Maybe he's not down here because he escaped, _She thought, trying to be optimistic. _Maybe he got out of here..._

But upon walking further into the dungeon, a dark shape lying on the floor in front of the cell caught her eye. Her heart started pounding with frantic worry as she raced forward, not sure if she wanted it to be Harry or not. She wanted to find him more than anything but did she really want to find him unconscious and hurt?

Then she realized who it was lying on the floor: _Bellatrix Lestrange._

Anger and a malicious kind of excitement rose in Lily as she stared down at the evil woman's unconscious form. Her arms were lying by her sides and her mouth was slightly open as if in shock. Lily studied every inch of her, especially her hands. The hand that had slapped Harry. The hand that had cursed Harry. The hand that had gripped his arm with a cruel possessiveness. The hand that had probably done so many other things to Harry that Lily didn't even know about. She was so tempted to stomp down on the woman's hand, but she _somehow_ managed to control herself.

Then she saw a wand lying on the floor right by Bellatrix. Lily snatched it up and then recognized the design around the handle.

_Remus' wand, _She thought. For a moment she started to worry, wondering if he had been captured. But then she remembered what Kingsley told her about Bellatrix stealing his wand at the Ministry.

"Harry?" Lily's voice cracked as she looked around in the darkness. "Are you here?"

Again there was no reply.

"I'll just have to get answers from you." Lily said darkly, staring down at Bellatrix. She stowed Remus' wand up her sleeve so Bellatrix wouldn't be able to take it, pointed her own wand at the woman's chest and said, "_Ennervate."_

The dark eyes opened in a flash, and then crinkled in confusion upon seeing Lily's face. But then Bellatrix smiled.

"If it isn't Lily Potter." She grinned. "What a pleasant surprise."

Lily brought her foot down hard on Bellatrix's chest, who immediately coughed and gasped for air, the wind knocked clean out of her.

"I don't remember -" Bellatrix continued to cough. "-you being this violent before, mudblood. But then again, its been such a long time since we've last met."

Bellatrix started to pull herself up off the floor but Lily said, "_Locomotor Mortis," _locking Bellatrix's legs together and dropping her back down to the floor.

"Where is he?" Lily asked with a deadly calmness in her voice.

"I don't know what you mean."

"_Where is he?"_ Lily repeated.

"Could you say that again? I didn't quite catch that."

"WHERE IS HE!" Lily shouted, her fist clenched around the handle of her wand.

"I still couldn't hear you." Bellatrix smirked.

Lily dove on top of Bellatrix, straddling her, pressing the tip of her wand against Bellatrix's throat. Both women were breathing heavily but for two very different reasons. While Lily's face was flushed with anger, Bellatrix's face was alight with amusement.

"Tell me where he is or I swear to god I'll Cruciate you." Lily said between clenched teeth.

"Do you think you scare me, you little mudblood?" Bellatrix snorted derisively. "If you want to find out where your husband is, you'll have to try a little harder than that."

"Oh, you're talking about James?" Lily said, digging the wand deeper into Bellatrix's throat. "Because I'm talking about Harry."

"You're - you're talking about..." Bellatrix faltered for the first time. But then she recovered and smiled. "So you've heard?"

"I've _seen._" Lily said. "In McNaughton's memories."

All of a sudden Bellatrix reached up, grabbed Lily by the neck and threw her off. Lily rolled over onto the floor, wand falling from her hand. Bellatrix snatched up the wand, pointed it at her legs and said, "_Finite Incantatum."_

_Damn it! _Lily thought. She quickly grabbed Remus' wand from her sleeve and yelled, "_Protego!"_ blocking a curse Bellatrix shot at her. Then Lily shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

The wand flew from Bellatrix's hand and hit the wall. Bellatrix looked at Lily, who had her own wand pointed at her, then looked at the wand she'd just dropped at the other side of her room, then at the staircase, considering her options. And within the next moment she was running for the stairs.

"_Impedimenta!" _Lily shouted but the spell missed.

She chased after Bellatrix and grabbed her around the waist as she was running up the stairs, dragging her back down them. Bellatrix hit her face off the railing before falling backwards against Lily, knocking both of them to the floor. Lily rolled over on top of Bellatrix, pinned her wrists to the floor and screamed in her face, "WHERE IS HARRY? WHERE IS HE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM!"

"I'll give you three guesses!" Bellatrix grinned.

"I'll give _you _three chances before I kill you!"

"You won't kill me, mudblood. You don't have the capability of killing me. You don't have it in you. Most Gryffindors don't."

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Shall we try to find out?"

"If you kill me, you'll never find Harry. And you can torture me all you want, but I won't tell you anything. So I've got a better idea. Let's play a game, shall we?"

"I've had enough of your games!"

"If you win the game, I'll tell you where Harry is."

Lily's heart leaped at the prospect of finding Harry, however, she knew there must be some sort of catch. But what did it matter if there was a catch? If she had to go along with one of Bellatrix's games in order to find Harry, then that's what she'd do.

"What sort of game are we talking about?" Lily asked.

"Do you have one of those silly Deluminators Dumbledore gave to members of the Order?"

"What?" Lily spat. However, at the back of her mind she did remember the Deluminator. Dumbledore invented it years ago; it looked like a cigarette-lighter but it was capable of putting out lights and then later replacing the light. He thought it might prove to be useful to members of the Order. Lily had received one of them too. And back at St. Mungo's, as Lily was shoving things into a bag, she remembered seeing the Deluminator. It could possibly be in her bag. "Yes, but why?"

"The game is called 'catch me if you can!" Bellatrix laughed and before Lily could do anything, she Disapparated.

"NO!" Lily screamed, falling to the floor where Bellatrix once was. She howled in rage and punched the floor, bruising her knuckles.

But then she heard something.

"_Lily! Oh Lily Mudblood Potter!" _A small voice was saying. _"What's keeping you? Lily, Lily, Lily -"_

Lily dug through her bag and found the Deluminator, the source of the noise. Pressing it against her ear, Lily could hear Bellatrix saying, "_Lily, Lily, oh Lily, come get me! The game's no fun if you don't play along! And you do want to find your son, don't you?"_

Then a ball of light burst out of the Deluminator and appeared in front of Lily. Not quite sure what she was doing, she stepped into it. Then she felt the familiar squeezing sensation of Apparition and within a split second, she was gone from Lestrange Manor, being transported to some unknown place.

* * *

"This doesn't make any sense!" Scrimgeour declared, following Mile out the front door of Lestrange Manor. "I don't have a son! This is - this is utterly ridiculous! Must be some scheme cooked up by the Death Eaters."

"Oh, come off it. I look like my mum and you know it."

"They did a good job at making you look like Marie, then. But you're not really her son. You're not really _my_ son..."

"Then why aren't you stunning me and dragging me off to Azkaban?" Mile turned around and looked at his father, his heart beating excitedly.

"Because, because I just..."

"Let's Apparate to Hogsmeade on three, okay?" Mile said.

"No, not okay! I'm not going anywhere with you until I get some answers!"

"One -"

"No, no, stop!"

"Two -"

"This is ridiculous -"

"Three!"

"Oh, fine." Scrimgeour grabbed Mile's arm and Apparated to Hogsmeade, hoping to god he wasn't making a huge mistake. And if he was honest with himself, he was secretly praying the the boy whose arm he was holding was actually, _truly_, his own son.

* * *

**There you are, I hope you enjoyed it. Please review, as always. :D**


	20. To cover your eyes or get your diguise

**Hello there, lovies! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update. I've been busy with school and laziness and writer's block. But I hope this chapter was worth the wait. :D**

_**

* * *

** _  
_I was raised in the valley, there was shadows and death. _  
_Got out alive but with scars I can't forget._  
_This kid back in school, subdued and shy. _  
_An orphan and a brother and unseen by most eyes._

_Don't go, I can't do this on my own._  
_Don't go, I can't do this on my own. _  
_Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night. _  
_I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight._

_

* * *

_

James woke up in the morning in a very different position than the one he fell asleep in. He remembered Harry coming over to sit beside him on the couch, then leaning against James' chest as he fell asleep. James had been sitting up when that happened. But now James was lying down with Harry wrapped up in his arms like a teddy bear beside him. He had no recollection of when and how they ended up that way, but it made him smile. He wanted to sit up a bit because his neck felt cramped, but Harry's arm was slung across James' shoulder and he didn't want to disturb Harry's sleep by moving. So James laid still and put up with the pain in his neck for Harry's sake.

'_He's cute when he's sleeping.'_ James thought, running his hand down Harry's arm affectionately. '_But its probably morning. I should go find Dumbledore now. Let him know we're alive...'_

James slowly sat up, stealthily climbed over the back of the couch and crept out of the room. He wondered what Dumbledore's reaction would be. He'd probably be furious. James had only seen Dumbledore truly angry once before, and to be honest, James had found it hilariously uncharacteristic. While everyone else was cowering in fear, James and Sirius were trying so hard not to laugh. And of course Remus and Lily stared at them disapprovingly while they struggled to contain themselves.

When he finally arrived in Dumbledore's office, he saw him sitting at his desk with his head bowed. He looked up when James entered and his expression drastically shifted from worry to relief.

"James." Dumbledore stood up. "Where did you go? Is Harry alright?"

"Harry's fine." James said. Dumbledore sighed and sat down again. "We went to Lestrange Manor."

"Lestrange Manor?" Dumbledore's eyes widened. "You took Harry to Lestrange Manor?"

"Oh yes, Albus. I _took_ Harry to Lestrange Manor. I decided that I felt like doing something completely dangerous that could possibly get Harry killed, because that's the kind of dad I am." James said, struggling to control the anger that was rising in him. _Dumbledore_ was supposed to be the angry one here, not him. "He said there was a horcrux there and he wanted to go get it. I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me. The first time he tried to leave, I had to pick him up and practically _drag _him back here, but that just made him mad." James said heatedly. "So what else could I have done? Its not like _you_ were here, Professor Bad Timing. So I agreed to go with him."

"Did you find a horcrux?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yeah, Harry found it but Bellatrix took it back and hid it again. But Harry's friend, Mile, he said he was going to go find it and then he'd come back here. And I'll give you three guesses as to who Mile's father is."

"Who is it?"

"No, I'm really making you guess."

"Hm. Let me think for a moment." Dumbledore folded his hands and stared at them thoughtfully for a few moments. "Sirius?"

"Sirius? You're barking, Albus. Sirius isn't a father."

"Forgive me, I'd only assumed it was Sirius because I heard that he gets around."

"Harry's alive, Scrimgeour got laid, and you just uttered the phrase 'gets around.' My life is now complete."

"Wait a moment, what's that about Scrimgeour? He 'got laid'? What does that mean, exactly? I'm not up to date with all these terms."

James threw his head back and laughed. Not only because Dumbledore said 'got laid,' but because Harry was alive and everything felt a million times better than it did two days ago. James felt twelve years younger and everything was ten times funnier than it would normally be.

"You're in a good mood." Dumbledore said as James' shoulders shook with laughter.

"How could I not be?" James grinned. "Harry's alive."

* * *

"HARRY'S ALIVE!" Lily screamed. "I KNOW HE IS! I SAW IT IN THE PENSIEVE, AND YOU ALREADY ADMITTED IT TO ME! NOW TELL ME WHERE HE IS!"

"Lily, you're cheating." Bellatrix said calmly as Lily threw her to the ground in the middle of a clearing. "You're supposed to give me a head start. That's how the game works. I Disapparate, you use that stupid Deluminator to find me, you give me a ten-second-head-start before chasing me."

"LIKE HELL I'LL GIVE YOU A BLOODY 'HEAD START!' Lily pressed her wand against Bellatrix's throat and yelled, "TELL ME WHERE HE IS! TELL ME!"

"You're not playing by the rules, Lily. If you don't play by the rules, I'll never tell you anything. You could take me back to Order headquarters and try to interrogate me, but I'll tell everyone you're crazy with grief. I'll lie and say Harry isn't alive."

"McNaughton saw him. The proof is in the pensieve."

"McNaughton? The one I tortured and Obliviated over and over again to the point where his mind is a jumbled, unstable mess? I don't think he's the most reliable source." Bellatrix said. Now, do you want to find Harry?"

"Yes!" Lily snapped.

"Then play by my rules. Get off of me, let me run, wait a few seconds and then chase me."

"WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS?"

"To make you work for it, of course. I want to see how badly you want to find Harry. If you really, really work for it, I might give in and tell you."

"Why should I trust you?" Lily demanded.

"Oh, you shouldn't. But you have no other choice, do you?"

Bellatrix pushed Lily off of her, stood up and ran off into the trees on the west side of the clearing.

"COME AND GET ME!" She called over her shoulder, laughing hysterically as she disappeared into the shade of the trees.

Lily had no choice but to obey. She howled in frustration before tearing off after Bellatrix.

* * *

Harry woke up to a burning sensation in his arm.

"OW!" He yelled into the silence, sitting up on the couch. It immediately occurred to him that he was alone. He could feel the weight of the emptiness beside him. "Dad?"

He grabbed his arm and cradled it to his chest as it started throbbing painfully like it had been punched.

"Dad?" Harry's voice broke.

He got up from the couch and ran out of the room into the cold corridor outside. His chest rose and fell heavily with breaths he struggled to keep steady. Everything looked blurry and strange. Noises seemed extra loud. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jumped in fear and surprise.

"Harry, what's wrong?" He heard his dad say, then felt hands on his shoulders turning him around. His head felt heavy and groggy. "Are you alright?"

He breathed heavily, staring up into his dad's hazel eyes, his stomach in knots. For a moment he felt like he was going to be sick and it must have shown on his face because James took him by the arms and made him sit down on the floor.

"Harry." James put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Harry gasped as his arm twinged painfully.

"Are you hurt?" James tightened his grip on Harry's shoulder.

'_Don't tell him. Don't tell him. He'll hate you.'_ Harry thought.

"Please trust me, Harry." James said. "You can tell me anything."

Something inside of Harry broke and despite having slept for several hours, he suddenly felt exhausted and drained of energy. He didn't want to lie anymore.

"Its Bellatrix." Harry said, wincing at the pain that was steadily worsening.

"What - what about her?" James asked, anxiously running a hand through his hair.

"She's cursing me."

James' eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean? She's not here, Harry. Its okay."

"No, its not." Harry said, his lips barely moving. "I have something to show you."

He took a deep breath, held up his arm and pushed back his sleeves, exposing the Dark Mark. James' face paled, his mouth dropped open and his eyes widening. He grabbed Harry's wrist and stared at it like he couldn't believe his eyes.

"The Dark Mark." James said, his voice just above a whisper. "They gave you the Dark Mark."

"I'm sorry."

"What do you mean she's cursing you? She's cursing you with - with the Dark Mark?" James kept blinking and rubbing his eyes as if hoping he wasn't seeing Harry's arm correctly, like maybe he was only imagining it.

"My mark is connected to Bellatrix, somehow. She can talk to me and torture me without being near me. She came to me when I was sleeping last night. That's how she's cursing me right now."

"Come on." James pulled Harry to his feet and led him down the corridor.

"Where are we going?"

James didn't answer. He kept a tight grip on Harry's wrist and led him up two flights of stairs and through another corridor. At last they came to a room Harry realized was the hospital wing.

"Why are we here?" Harry asked but James didn't answer.

"Poppy!" James ran over to Madam Pomfrey and grabbed her arm. "Poppy, you have to help Harry."

"What's wrong with him?" She looked Harry up and down.

"Nothing." Harry answered.

"He has the Dark Mark." James said. "And Bellatrix Lestrange is trying to torture him somehow!"

Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened in shock.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm sure, he showed it to me and he told me!" James said frustratedly. "Do something!"

"I'm not sure what I _can_ do. I don't know how to deal with things like this. I'll have to report to Dumbledore first." Madam Pomfrey said. "If you wait here, I'll go get him."

"No, _I'll _get him." James started backing out of the room. "Harry, just - just stay here, alright?"

Harry watched him leave, feeling like his heart had ripped in half. His head was spinning and his arm twinged painfully every few seconds, and it was taking him a lot of effort not to cry out. Madam Pomfrey took him by the shoulders and forced him to sit down in a chair and before he could try to stop her she pulled up his sleeves.

"Sweet Merlin, what did those horrible lunatics do to you?" She cried. "You've got scars all over your wrists! How did this happen?"

"Why'd he leave?" He asked, ignoring her question.

"He went to go get Dumbledore, you heard him."

"You could have went. But he wanted to go." Harry said, his throat tightening.

"Well, I don't know about that, but we need to do something about this mark." She said, inspecting the Dark Mark. "There must be some way to get rid of it."

"There isn't." Harry said. "Its permanent."

"Why do you look like you're in pain?" She asked. "Does the mark hurt you?"

"Yes. Bellatrix is trying to torture me. She can do that." He said.

"Even if she's not near you?"

"Yes."

"How is that possible?" Madam Pomfrey gasped. "I've never heard of anything like it."

A sudden stab of pain in his arm made him suck in his breath sharply. The colors of the room bled together making him so dizzy he had to close his eyes and try not to scream against the steadily building pain.

"How badly does it hurt?" She asked.

"A lot."

"You just wait one moment, I'll try to find something to help with the pain." Madam Pomfrey hurried off to her office. "Stay put!"

* * *

"Dumbledore, have you heard from Remus at all?" Nymphadora Tonks asked, playing with one of the trinkets that sat on his desk. "I'm really worried about him. I haven't heard from him since before everyone went to the Ministry. _Two days go._ Is something going on?"

"No, Tonks, nothing is going on. But I'm afraid I haven't heard from Remus." Dumbledore said.

"And what's up with Lily? Have you heard from her?" Tonks asked, leaning back in her chair as she changed her hair from pink to purple. "I heard from some of the other Aurors that she completely lost it at St. Mungo's last night. Apparently she was all giggly and crying and then she just up and left."

"I don't think she took the news of James' disappearance very well." Dumbledore looked down at his hands. "I assume she went home after she left. I haven't tried to contact her because she probably just needs time to be alone right now."

"But what if she does something drastic?" Tonks asked.

"I don't think Lily will do anything drastic. She's very responsible, as you already know."

"Yes, she's responsible, but she's also a Gryffindor. A Gryffindor who already lost a child and doesn't want to lose her husband. She's bound to do something crazy if she's hysterical and upset. Someone should check on her." Tonks said.

"Perhaps you're right, but -"

Suddenly the door banged open and James rushed inside.

"Albus, there's something wrong with Harry."

"James!" Tonks jumped up. "You're alright and - wait, _Harry? _Did you just say 'Harry'? Harry as in _your son_?"

"Tonks, what are you doing here?" James asked. But without waiting for an answer he turned to Dumbledore again and said, "He's hurt or sick or something, and he has the Dark Mark, and there are all these cuts on his arms, and he has the Dark Mark!"

"Where is he now?" Dumbledore stood up.

"In the hospital wing." James said. "You have to do something! I think he's in pain and Poppy doesn't know what to do!"

"I'm sorry but I just can't get over what you last said. _Harry? _Your _son_ Harry? Is that who we're talking about?" Tonks asked in shock. "Or is there some other Harry I don't know about?"

James rushed out of the room with Dumbledore right behind him. Tonks followed along after them, an incredulous look on her face. As James led the way back to the hospital wing, his mind was in a state of chaos. _Harry has the Dark Mark. _My son _has the Dark Mark. My own son. They gave him the Dark Mark. They can summon him, and torture him from far away, and it won't ever go away. Its permanent. But it can't be, can it? There has to be some way. There has to be..._

When they reached the hospital wing, Dumbledore went on inside but James just couldn't. He leaned against the wall outside the room covering his face with his hands, trying to take calming breaths. Tonks looked at him worriedly.

"James, tell me what's going on." She said. "Please."

He removed his hands from his face and looked at her.

"Harry's alive." He said. "And yes, I mean my son."

"Merlin's pants, this is great!" She grinned and grabbed his arm. "Does Lily know yet? Is that why she freaked out at St. Mungo's yesterday?"

"Wait, what? No, she doesn't know. What happened at St. Mungo's?"

"Er - it was nothing. But James, what's wrong with Harry? You said there was something wrong."

"He has the Dark Mark."

"So he's a Junior Death Eater?" She clasped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, I understand now. They didn't kill him because they wanted to raise him to be a Death Eater, didn't they? Oh James, I'm so sorry."

"He's not a Death Eater! He's really not!" James said. "They tried to make him a Death Eater but he wouldn't listen to them. He didn't become a bad person. He's a _good _person. I know he is. He's a lot like me and Lily."

"Then why are you out here talking to me instead of him?"

"Because I'm an idiot." He practically shoved her out of the way as he ran back into the hospital wing, suddenly desperate to be by Harry's side.

When he entered the room, Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore were talking quietly while Harry sat on the edge of a bed, holding his head in his hands. Harry looked up when James approached but his eyes were watering and his face was drained of color.

"Are you okay?" James asked stupidly.

Harry didn't answer. Madam Pomfrey turned away from Dumbledore and said, "Harry, I'm going to try something that will hopefully help with the pain." Then she picked up a syringe from a nearby table and said, "I'm just going to give you a little shot."

"No!" Harry said loudly.

"Well, I _have _to, otherwise its going to continue hurting." She sighed exasperatedly. "Now hold still." She grabbed his arm and tried to press the needle against it, but he smacked it out of her hand. "Harry, don't be ridiculous. Its just a needle." She picked it up from the floor and said, "Now let's try this again -"

He quickly pulled his sleeves down and backed away from her.

"Don't worry, Harry. Its not going to hurt." James said warily. Then he looked at Madam Pomfrey and asked, "Its not going to hurt, is it?"

"It'll just be a little pinch." Madam Pomfrey said. "That's all."

"Poppy, James, can I have a word with the two of you in the corridor for just a moment?" Dumbledore asked. Without waiting for an answer, he left the room.

James looked at Harry one last time before reluctantly following. Madam Pomfrey mumbled the entire time about trying to give proper medical attention.

"It seems to me that Harry is very afraid of needles." Dumbledore said.

"I noticed." James said with a frown. He peeked through the crack in the door and saw Harry talking to Tonks inside. Or more like Harry was _listening _to Tonks as she talked animatedly with enthusiastic hand gestures, and he just sat there with a confused look on his face, making James smile despite his worries.

"But all children are afraid of needles. It really isn't a big deal." Madam Pomfrey said. "He _needs _to have this shot, otherwise the pain will progress."

"Can't you just give him something he can drink?" James asked. "A potion of some sort?"

"There's no drinkable potion strong enough to fight a curse like this without having negative side effects, like headaches and nausea." Madam Pomfrey. "I know what I'm doing, James, now if you'd just -"

"Getting back to the reason for why I called you out here," Dumbledore said, cutting Madam Pomfrey off. "I think Harry may have a phobia of needles. And phobias, as you may know, are caused by a traumatic childhood experience."

"You think..." James looked through the door at Harry again then looked back at Dumbledore. "You think the Death Eaters..."

He stopped and thought of it for a moment; Bellatrix or another Death Eater doing something to hurt Harry, something that involved needles. There were hundreds of horrifying things that could have happened; James only allowed himself to imagine a few of them and they all made his blood boil with anger.

"Why is he in so much pain? He said Bellatrix is cursing him somehow, and that she came to him when he was sleeping last night. How is that possible?" James asked.

"Voldemort must have found a way to link two people together by the use of the Dark Marks." Dumbledore said. "He must have had Bellatrix Lestrange link herself to Harry to keep an eye on him. As for cursing him and entering his dreams, I believe its possible."

"What kind of curse is it? How is she doing it?" James asked.

"Its a powerful curse, one that causes pain to slowly spread throughout the body. The pain is only minor at first but it gradually worsens until its as painful as the Cruciatus." Madam Pomfrey explained.

"How long would that take? How can you stop it?" James' heart wrenched at the memory of Harry being Cruciated by Bellatrix at Lestrange Manor.

"Well, the shot I tried to give him would temporarily dull the pain until we can think of a permanent solution, or until Bellatrix Lestrange stops the curse herself. The curse's effects seem to be controlled by the caster." Madam Pomfrey said.

"What about the Dark Mark?" James asked. "How can we get rid of that?"

"James," Dumbledore said gently. "I'm afraid there's no known way to get rid of it."

"There has to be a way!" James said hopefully. "Voldemort must have come up with a way to take the Dark Mark off, right? In case he doesn't want someone as a Death Eater anymore?"

"Well, he generally kills them if he doesn't want them as a Death Eater." Madam Pomfrey said rather tactlessly.

"Thanks Poppy! Thank you!" James yelled. "You're a great help!"

"Please calm down, James." Dumbledore said.

"James, have you seen the scars on his arms?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "Did he tell you how he got them?"

"I saw them for the first time a half hour ago. He didn't say much about them." James ran a shaking hand through his hair.

"I asked him how he got them and all he said was, 'I tried to get rid of it.'" Madam Pomfrey said.

"I need to talk to him. Alone." James said. "Wait out here."

"Now wait a moment, James, Harry is my patient and I need to go see him. You can't keep me out of my own office -" Madam Pomfrey started.

But James had already ran in the room and shut the door behind him. Tonks turned around and looked at him excitedly.

"Oh Merlin, James, he's just like Lily! But then he's a lot like you. And yet somehow he's like Sirius, and I'm suspicious as to how that happened." Tonks was grinning ear to ear.

"Tonks, I need to talk to Harry alone for a few minutes, so run along now." James said.

She smacked his head playfully before leaving the room. He was too focused on what he was about to say to Harry that he didn't even retaliate against her.

"Harry..." A million questions ran through James' mind and he just couldn't decide on which one to ask first. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd be mad." Harry said without looking up.

"I'm _not_ mad." James said.

"Yes you are." Harry said. "That's why you ran off."

"I didn't really - well, yes I did run off, but I didn't run off because I was mad. I ran off because I panicked and I was worried about you and freaked out that you've got the Dark Mark on your arm and I didn't know what to do. Needless to say, I'm a git. But I'm not mad, Harry. At least not at you. Mad at the bloody Death Eaters who gave you the mark, but not you. Its not your fault."

"It _is_ my fault! I could have stopped them but I didn't!"

"Stop them from giving you the mark? They're adult wizards. Sick, twisted adult wizards who've been studying the Dark Arts their entire lives. You're just a child. How could you have possibly stopped them?" James knelt down so he could be at Harry's level, but Harry didn't meet his eyes. "You couldn't have."

"You keep trying to tell me that I'm not a Death Eater." Harry said. "But I _am_ a Death Eater. This proves it!" Harry pulled up his sleeve and showed him the mark. Then he cringed in pain again.

"Its still hurting?" James asked in alarm. "Should I get Madam Pomfrey?"

"No!" Harry said loudly. "She'll want to give me a needle."

"You need to get that shot, Harry. I know you're scared but -"

"I'm not scared." Harry said stubbornly. "I just don't want it."

James tried very hard not to smile at how much he sounded like Lily.

"Back to the point...Harry, do you want to be a Death Eater?" James asked.

"No, of course not."

"Then you're not a Death Eater. Its as simple as that."

"But I have the Dark Mark!"

"Harry, its not about what's right _here._" James pointed to Harry's wrist. "Its about what's in _here._" He placed his hand over Harry's heart and looked into his green eyes, desperate to make him understand. "And that's about the sappiest thing I've ever said so you better remember it because I'm never saying anything like it again."

That last bit got Harry to crack a smile. But then he cringed again and grabbed his arm.

"You'd rather go through all this pain than just get a shot?" James asked. "What happened that made you so afraid of needles? Did they do something to you?"

"A shot wouldn't help anything. Shots are for sickness. They _heal _things. I'm not sick, I'm being cursed. There's nothing to heal."

"I think the shot would numb you, or make it so you won't feel the pain. It's got nothing to do with healing." James said. "And you ignored my question. What happened with needles?"

"What makes you think something happened?"

"Why else would you be so afraid?"

"I'm _not_ afraid."

"There's nothing wrong with being afraid. If you're afraid of needles, its nothing to be ashamed of. Dumbledore's afraid of things, too. He's probably afraid of not getting socks for Christmas. And Madam Pomfrey is probably afraid of not having anyone to boss around. Tonks is probably afraid of morphing her face into something weird and getting it stuck that way."

"What are _you_ afraid of?" Harry asked.

"You being hurt." James answered honestly, making Harry's eyes go wide with surprise. "Which is why I want you to let us help you.

"Needles would just make it hurt worse."

"What makes you think that? What happened?" James asked. "You can keep dodging the question if you want, but I'll keep asking. I'm very persistent. You can ask your mum when you meet her. She'll tell you."

"When can I meet her?" Harry asked.

"You dodged my question again." James said. "I just want to know the truth, Harry. You don't have to hide anything from me. I just want to know what your life has been like so I can make it better."

"You already made it better." Harry said, meeting James' eyes.

James couldn't stop himself from grinning.

"But how can you not be mad that I have a Dark Mark?" Harry asked. "You _have _to be mad."

James sighed exasperatedly.

"Harry, in all honesty, you could have tortured and killed loads of innocent people and I'd still care about you. So no matter what happens, you don't have to worry about me being mad. Even if I seem mad, I'll always care."

"Really? What if I killed a million muggles and the Ministry was after me?"

"I'd drive the getaway car for you. And it wouldn't be the first time I've driven a getaway car, believe me." James said. "Speaking of getaway cars, what was Tonks saying to you?"

"She was just staring at me and saying 'oh my god' a bunch of times." Harry said. "What does she have to do with getaway cars?"

"Well, a few years ago she was there when me, Sirius and Remus tried to - well, that's a story for another day." James said. "Are you going to tell me what happened that's made you afraid of needles?"

"Its nothing. It was just something Bellatrix did."

"What did she do?" James asked earnestly. "You can tell me, I promise."

"It was years ago. I think I was nine or ten when it happened. Mile did something to make her mad but I can't remember what it was." Harry said shakily, looking around the room as if he expected Bellatrix to appear. James put a hand on his shoulder, silently encouraging him to continue. "She said Mile had to be punished. So she got this needle and I don't know what was in it, but she injected something into Mile's arm. He started shaking and then he fell on the floor and started screaming. I told her to make it stop and that she had to help him, but she just smiled and said 'he needs this so he can learn' and she just let him keep screaming. She said if I tried to help him, she'd do to me what she did to him. But I didn't listen to her. I tried to help him anyway...so she stabbed me with the needle. I felt like my arm was on fire and it got worse by the second. I probably would have started screaming like Mile, but then Rayden came out of nowhere and he used some spell to knock me out. I don't remember what happened after that."

James so horrified he couldn't think of anything to say. The mental image of Bellatrix stabbing a 9-year-old Harry with a syringe was cutting into him, making it hard for him to breathe. After several painful moments of trying to block the picture from his mind, James felt Harry staring at him.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked. "Why are you -"

Whatever Harry was going to say next was cut off when James suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Harry asked, his voice muffled by James' chest.

"Its my fault, what she did to you." James' said as he buried his face in Harry's hair and holding him tight. "Everything is my fault."

"Its not your fault, you weren't there."

"That's _why_ its my fault." There was a lump in James' throat as he spoke and his eyes burned behind closed lids. "I'm sorry for not being able to stop her from hurting you. I'm sorry for every time she's ever hit you or used the Cutting Curse on you while I was somewhere else, not even knowing you were alive. I should have kept looking for you; I could have found you sooner and took you away from her."

"Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have looked for me forever."

"Actually, I think I could have. I only stopped because your mum was depressed and she needed me to stay with her. It killed her every time I tried to find you because I always got her hopes up and then came home without you." James said.

"Well then its my fault too, for not knowing that you were my real parents."

"Its not your fault, you couldn't have known."

"Its not _your _fault either."

"Then having a Dark Mark isn't your fault, and you have to believe that." James pulled out of the hug to look Harry in the eyes. "The Dark Mark doesn't mean anything. Its just a stupid tattoo that only exists to scare people. I'll find a way to get rid of it. I don't care what anyone says, there has to be a way. And even if I don't find a way to get rid of it, it will be okay. We'll find a way to deal with it." Then James sighed and said, "But first...you have to let Madam Pomfrey give you a shot. Its the only way to stop the pain before it gets worse."

"Will it hurt?" Harry asked.

"She said it would pinch a little, but it shouldn't hurt too much. I promise."

James went and told Madam Pomfrey, Dumbledore and Tonks they could come back in the room. Tonks resumed her mantra of "oh my god!" while staring at Harry as Madam Pomfrey pulled up his sleeve and prepared the needle. Harry looked terrified. His green eyes were wide with fear as they darted around the room.

"It will only hurt for a second and then it'll be over." Madam Pomfrey said.

James reached over and took Harry's hand because the boy looked like he was about to get up and run.

"Are you ready?" Madam Pomfrey asked. Without waiting for an answer, she stuck him with the needle. He cringed, squeezed his eyes shut and gasped in pain, making James' heart wrench. Somewhere between two seconds and an eternity later, Madam Pomfrey removed the needle and said, "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Harry opened his eyes and looked at his arm where there was only a small drop of blood.

"James, you can breathe now." Dumbledore smiled.

James only then noticed that he'd been holding his breath along with Harry's hand. He let go of both.

"The pain from the curse should die down soon." Madam Pomfrey said to Harry. "You should try to get some rest."

"I'm not tired." Harry said.

"That's ridiculous, of course you're tired!" Madam Pomfrey put a bandage on his arm and started fussing with it. "Now don't remove this bandage for at least a day, you don't want to get an infection. And lay down so I can bring you a sleeping potion, you need to get some sleep."

"I already slept!" Harry said. "I don't need to sleep."

"Poppy, I'm going to go bring Harry back to his room so he can sleep. I'll watch him and make sure he does." James said.

"Oh alright." Madam Pomfrey gave in. "But make sure he sleeps for at least a few hours."

James nodded and motioned for Harry to follow him to the door. Then he called over his shoulder, "And, Tonks, you can come too if you'd like. I'm sure you'd love to watch Harry sleep." Tonks grinned and followed them out the door of the hospital wing, shutting the door behind her.

"You're not really going to make Harry sleep, are you?" Tonks asked.

"Nope." James grinned.

"Then where are we going?" Harry asked with a smile.

"On an adventure."

* * *

**I'm sorry if it seems rushed. I did my best. Please review, you know how much I love it. ;)  
**


	21. They won't ask you why

**Hello, you guys! Thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter. I hope you like this one. :D**

**

* * *

**_Come with me_  
_ Into the trees_  
_ We'll lay on the grass_  
_ And let the hours pass_  
_ Take my hand_  
_ Come back to the land_  
_ Let's get away_  
_ Just for one day_

_

* * *

_**Two years ago**_  
_

Peter Pettigrew stood in a gloomy dim corridor, mopping the dirty floor with even dirtier water. His back ached from the strain of carrying the heavy bucket up and down the stairs without the use of magic. Bellatrix had told him to "stop being so bloody lazy" and carry it around on his own. But the real reason why she didn't let him use magic was because she liked watching him struggle. Somewhere deep inside he knew he deserved the horrible treatment, but that didn't stop him from resenting it.

The water sloshed around in the bucket as he carried it down the hall to a room he was supposed to be cleaning. But as he neared the room, he heard noises from inside that made him stop. There were slashing sounds coming from behind the door, followed by gasps of pain.

"There's no need to cry about it." came Bellatrix's cruel voice. Another slashing sound. A young boy crying out in pain. "Its what you deserve, you know."

Peter realized Bellatrix must have been punishing one of the Junior Death Eaters. He decided to keep mopping the floor in the corridor until Bellatrix was done. It would probably be a bad idea to go in and clean while she was in there beating someone. As he started to pour a bit of water onto the floor so he could clean, a sudden scream from inside the room startled him so badly he knocked the bucket over, spilling it everywhere.

"There, there." Bellatrix said softly. "Are we learning our lesson now?"

The boy screamed again, rattling Peter's bones and making him flinch away from the door. However, he was suddenly eager to know which child she was torturing and what she was doing to make him scream like that. Fortunately there was a window in the door he could peak through without Bellatrix noticing. He tiptoed towards the door and peered in through that small window.

With a cold feeling of dread he saw that it was Harry, the son of his old best friend, the boy he had kidnapped and brought to Voldemort ten years ago. Peter had already known that Voldemort had decided to keep Harry alive and raise him as a Junior Death Eater, but he'd only seen him around the manor every few years; Bellatrix was keen on keeping the Junior Death Eaters out of sight.

Harry was slumped on the floor inside the room wearing black slacks without a shirt. His bare chest was bleeding in several places and his hair was matted with blood. His eyes were wide with fright as he stared up at Bellatrix and he flinched every time she moved her hand.

"Your parents would be disgusted with you for not listening to me." Bellatrix said harshly. "They would not be proud of you in the slightest."

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Peter looking through the window.

"Peter!" She snapped. "Get in here and clean up this blood." Then she turned back to Harry and said, "You stay down here for the rest of the night" before storming out of the room and back upstairs. Peter grabbed his bucket and sponge and moved into the room where Harry was still on the floor.

As he knelt down and started scrubbing at the blood with the dirty sponge, he could feel Harry's eyes on him. _Lily's eyes, _Peter thought with a twinge of guilt. He felt uncomfortable as Harry watched him, like he thought Harry might somehow know what he'd done ten years ago.

For the most part, Peter forced himself not to look over at Harry. But once or twice he slipped up and found himself glancing at Harry's chest where there were many cuts and bruises. A small part of him felt guilty. Knowing that the boy's bruised flesh was the same flesh as James' and knowing that his tear-filled eyes were the same as Lily's just made him feel ashamed of himself for not doing anything to help him. But then an idea struck him.

What if Peter were to bring Harry back to Lily and James? Maybe they'd feel so grateful to Peter for saving Harry from those horrible people that they'd forgive him for kidnapping their son in the first place. Then Peter would be welcomed back to the "good" side with open arms and the Aurors could protect him from the Death Eaters, and he would never have to clean the dungeons again.

'_Or maybe,'_ Peter thought pessimistically. '_James would take one look at Harry's chest and be so enraged at me for not doing anything to help him, he'd Cruciate me and then kill me. That sounds more accurate.'_

He continued to scrub the blood off the floor, listening to Harry breathe heavily, each breath sounding raspy from the pain. Although Peter felt sorrier for himself than he did for Harry, a small bit of him kept feeling guilty, just a small twinge of guilt that said, '_If it weren't for me you would be getting hugs from your mum instead of beatings from Bellatrix.' _

The boy was hugging himself out of coldness, wincing occasionally when his arms brushed against the cuts and bruises on his torso. He looked terribly cold. Peter himself was cold just by being in the dungeons and he was actually wearing two sweaters, while Harry was shirtless and shivering. His lips were blue and there were goosebumps on his arms. For a split second, Peter considered getting Harry a blanket, but he quickly dismissed the idea.

It was then that Peter realized he was not a true Gryffindor. A true Gryffindor would have gotten Harry a blanket. No, a true Gryffindor would have done more than that. A true Gryffindor would have helped Harry up and carried him back to his parents. A true Gryffindor never would have betrayed Lily and James in the first place so Harry would never have ended up in that dungeon.

But Peter was not a true Gryffindor. Lily and James were true Gryffindors, as were Remus and Sirius. Even young Harry showed all the definite signs of a Gryffindor, despite being raised by Slytherin blood purists. He was only eleven years old but he was already as brave as James, as chivalrous as Lily and Remus, and as daring as Sirius.

But Peter was none of those things. He wasn't brave enough to help Harry and risk getting in trouble with Bellatrix. He wasn't even chivalrous enough to really care about Harry's well being. A small part of him felt bad for the boy but that small part was very easy to ignore and it got drowned out by all of the selfish parts of him. So Peter cast away all thoughts of sympathy and continued scrubbing the floor, trying to ignore the fact that Lily's eyes were staring at him.

Once the blood was gone, Peter put the sponge back in the bucket and headed for the door. But before he could leave, Harry spoke behind him.

"Wait."

Peter turned around and looked at him.

"Did you..." Harry hesitated. "Did you know my parents?"

Peter's heart skipped a beat. _He knows, _he thought worriedly. _He knows. He knows. He knows about Lily and James.  
_

"Their names were Margret and Carlian Mendacium." Harry said.

"Oh, yes. Yes, yes, I knew them." Peter said quickly, sighing in relief. "The M-Mendaciums were, er, my friends."

"Would they be proud of me?" Harry asked, his eyes shining with tears. He was biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling and Peter was reminded of Lily; she always used to do that. "For not listening to Bellatrix?"

_It would make them prouder than anything, _Peter thought.

"No." Peter lied. "They wouldn't be."

A Gryffindor would have said yes. But Peter was no Gryffindor.

And then he shut the door and locked it, leaving Harry alone inside the room, and walked down the corridor, swallowing down whatever guilt he'd felt and replacing it with his own self pity.

* * *

"James, when you said we were going on an adventure, I thought you meant we were leaving Hogwarts." Tonks admitted as they walked across the grounds, hiding behind trees every now and then when students looked in their direction.

"Well, we can't leave Hogwarts yet. Not when there's so much trouble that needs causing." James said. "Look at the state of this place! All neat and orderly. Someone has to put a stop to this good behavior nonsense."

"So where are we heading?" Tonks asked.

"Don't ask so many questions." James said.

"Dad!" Harry yelled from up ahead. "Where are we heading?"

"To that hut up there!" James answered.

As Harry walked further, he could see a hut through a part in the trees. He stopped walking and waited for James and Tonks to catch up. Once they were right behind him he continued walking again. James sighed and said, "You walk so fast, Harry. It makes me feel all old and Filch-like." Then he walked on ahead and rapped on the door of the hut.

"Hagrid!" He yelled. "You great loon, open up!"

The door banged open and standing behind it was the largest man Harry had ever seen in his life. He had glistening black eyes, a thick scruffy beard and was so tall he had to look down to see the top of James' head. Just one of his hands was as large as a medium-sized dog and when he stepped outside, he had to duck down so not hit his head off the roof.

"James!" Hagrid cried. "What are yeh doin' here? Yeh haven' been to see me in ages, yeh haven'! Thought you mighta forgot about me!"

"Good to see you too, Hagrid." James said.

"Wotcher Hagrid!" Tonks grinned.

Harry had thought James was tall, but compared to Hagrid James looked short. His mind was completely blown.

"An' hello Tonks, haven' seen yeh in quite a bit!" Hagrid said with friendly smile. "James, why do yeh look so ruddy happy? Las' time I saw yeh this happy was - _ruddy hell! _It can' be, can it?" Hagrid's eyes had finally spotted Harry standing behind Tonks. "Is tha' _Harry?"_

"Yes. that's Harry." James grinned.

"I dunno how this is happenin'!" Hagrid stared at Harry in awe. "Yeh're alive! I haven' seen yeh since you were a baby, 'course we all though' you were...well, come in! Come in!" Hagrid stepped aside and allowed James, Tonks and Harry inside. As Hagrid shut the door he muttered, "No wonder James is actin' so merry..."

"How's this poss'ble?" Hagrid asked once they were all seated around the table. "I though' that bloody Pettigrew took 'im ter You-Know-Who ter be killed!"

"Well, yes, dear old Peter took him to Voldemort to be killed." James said in a pleasant tone, though Harry noticed how his fist was clenched under the table. "However, it seems that Old Snakeface decided it would be a better idea to raise him as a Junior Death Eater."

"But yeh're not really a Death Eater, are yeh?" Hagrid asked.

Harry looked at James before looking back at Hagrid and answering, "No."

"Well o' course yeh couldn' be. Yeh've got the blood of Lily 'n James Potter in yer veins, tha's enough ter make anyone a good person." Hagrid smiled. "Nothin' You-Know-Who can do that'll change it. Though I am lookin' forward to the day yer dad here gets 'is hands on Peter Pettigrew, meself."

"I too am looking forward to that day, Hagrid." James smiled like they were talking about a picnic date instead of revenge. "What a fine day it will be."

"Not for Peter, though." Tonks added.

"No, not for Peter."

"I've been meaning to ask, James, what _do_ you plan on doing to Peter?" Tonks asked.

James' eyes brightened like this was his favorite question and he said, "Well, the first thing I'd do is tie him up, of course. And then I'll do to Peter whatever the Death Eaters did to Harry, only I'll make it ten times worse for him. And then I'll probably Cruciate him until he chokes on his own-" James suddenly realized that Harry was listening and finished with, "and that's the end of my story! So Hagrid, how have you been?"

Harry felt really strangely happy by what James had said: '_I'll do to Peter whatever the Death Eaters did to Harry.' _It wasn't that Harry particularly wanted James to torture Peter, but the thought behind it was what really made Harry feel cared about. He already knew that James cared about him, but every little reminder of it made him feel all warm inside. The fact that James wanted to make Peter suffer the way Harry had suffered just showed how much he cared, in a grim way.

And Harry couldn't stop thinking about what Hagrid had said when he shut the door: '_No wonder why James is actin' all merry.'_

He looked across the table at James, who was engaged in conversation with Hagrid, and thought, '_I'm the reason why he's acting 'all merry'?'_

James must have felt Harry's eyes on him because he suddenly looked over and smiled, paralyzing Harry with this sudden overwhelming feeling. He couldn't identify it, he couldn't even tell where the feeling was coming from. Somewhere in his stomach or maybe in his chest. It felt warm, but it was more than that, it was like every single thing he ever worried about wasn't so bad anymore. Almost everything was alright, and then some things were better than alright.

"Well, Hagrid, it was great seeing you." James stood up. "But we'd better be going. There's an adventure awaiting us. And try not to mention anything about Harry to Lily if you see her. I'm planning on telling her myself very soon."

"I 'spect to see yeh again soon!" Hagrid said and gave James a hug. "Don' forget, now. 'N Harry, come 'ere!" Hagrid grabbed Harry and pulled him into a tight, bone-crushing embrace. When Hagrid finally let go, Harry staggered backwards into James, gasping for air.

"Bye Hagrid!" Tonks called as the three of them left the hut. "I hope to see you soon!" She looked at James and asked, "Now where are we off to? What kind of adventure are we talking about?"

"An adventurous one." James answered. "Well, to be honest, I don't have much planned. All I know is we need to do something to anger Filch - shouldn't be too hard - and then we have to find an old invisibility cloak Sirius and I hid somewhere."

"Your old invisibility cloak? I thought you gave it to Dumbledore years ago." Tonks said.

"I let him borrow it because he thought it was fascinating for some reason. He eventually gave it back. But there was no use for it anymore." James said. "The cloak's been passed down in my family for generations. When we thought Harry died, I figured there was no point in having it anymore if there was no one to pass it down to." James smiled over at Harry and said, "But now that I know you're alive, I want you to have it."

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Really."

"How are we going to find it?" Harry asked.

"_I _can find it easily." Tonks said. "I'm a Hufflepuff, you know. We're good at finding things."

"Oh, I'm sure." James rolled his eyes.

"Where did you hide it?" Tonks asked.

"It was in some room Sirius and I found years ago when wandering around. We should probably be able to find it with the Marauder's Map." James said.

"I thought Filch confiscated it from you while you were still at Hogwarts?" Tonks asked.

"Yes, but then I found it again yesterday. I left it in Dumbledore's office before we went to Lestrange Manor." James said. "If we look around on the map, we should be able to find the room. And its an an empty part of the castle that hardly anyone knows about, so its unlikely that anyone went there and took it."

"Can't you just summon it?" Harry asked.

"It won't work. After we hid it, we charmed it so that it wouldn't be able to be summoned, so Filch or anyone equally horrid wouldn't be able to get to it." James explained.

"Let's go get the map then! What are we waiting for?" Tonks said before she started running towards the castle.

"She's awfully energetic." Harry noted.

"So are you, I've noticed. You were bouncing all over the place when we were looking for Bellatrix's office at Lestrange Manor." James teased. "And as we were leaving, you practically outran me towards the woods." Then he smiled and added, "Not that you could ever outrun me again."

"I could outrun you!" Harry said. "_Easily._"

"Easily?" James raised his eyebrows. "You want to bet?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I don't want to hurt your feelings after I win by a mile."

"Oh, now its on." James said. "How about this: first person back to the castle keeps their dignity?"

Without even agreeing to the terms, Harry started running across the grounds towards the castle. James grinned, chased after him quickly, and was surprised to see that Harry truly was fast. But James pushed himself to be even faster until he was right behind Harry's heels. Then without warning he lunged forward and grabbed Harry around the waist. The sudden impact caused the two of them to fall to their knees. But even as they landed on the ground, James kept his arms wrapped around Harry, who laughed and tried to wriggle out of his grip. Eventually Harry managed to break free from James' arms and took off running again.

But James continued chasing him. However, after running about fifteen feet, James fell forward onto the grass. Little did Harry know, James fell over on purpose.

"Are you okay?" Harry stood over him trying not to laugh.

James reached up, grabbed Harry by the arms and pulled him down to the ground.

"You tricked me!" Harry shouted. He tried to get up and run again but James wrapped his arms around him and tickled him. Harry collapsed onto the grass, laughing and squirming. While Harry tried to catch his breath, James got up and ran ahead. But he didn't make it more than fifteen feet before Harry caught up with him and jumped onto his back. Caught off guard, James dropped to his knees.

"That was a good tactic, Harry." James said. "Too bad I'm an Auror and I'm always prepared for this." He quickly pried Harry's arms off of him before tickling him mercilessly.

"Not- fair!" Harry managed to say through his laughter as he writhed on the ground. "That's - not - fair!"

"I'm so glad you're ticklish. It makes this so much more fun." James smirked as Harry struggled to get up and run away. "And besides, people who aren't ticklish are just freaks of nature. So its good to know you're not a freak of nature."

While James was busy talking, Harry climbed under his arm and bounded across the grass. James ran after him, picked him up and dragged him back.

"You're cheating!" Harry yelled although he was laughing loudly. Then he suddenly stopped struggling, stopped trying to run, and hugged James, who was so surprised by the random hug that at first he didn't know what to do. But then he wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close.

"Look who's not running now." James laughed.

"_You_ started the running thing."

"I missed you." James closed his eyes and buried his face in Harry's hair. "I'm so glad I have you back."

Then when Harry was least expecting it, James started tickling him again. Harry dropped to the ground and had another fit of laughter.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Harry squirmed as James knelt beside him and continued tickling him mercilessly.

"Because I like it when you laugh." James answered simply. He gave Harry a break from the tickling and laid down in the grass beside him. "This is so surreal."

Harry nodded in agreement and closed his eyes. James smiled, leaned on his elbow and lightly ran his fingers down the side of Harry's face.

"What are you two still doing here?" Tonks suddenly dropped down beside them, startling both of them so much that they sat up. "I just went up to Dumbledore's office, found the map and came back here and you two are _still_ here, rolling around in the grass. Why wasn't I invited to this grass party?''

"Its not a - whatever. Let's get a move on then." James said as they all got to their feet. He reached over and brushed some grass off Harry's shoulder. Harry instinctively jumped when James touched him, like he was afraid of being tickled again. James smirked at Harry's jumpiness and said, "Alright, let's have a look at the map." His eyes raked across the map, analyzing the corridors, rooms and staircases it showed. "The room we found was above the transfiguration room, down an empty hallway, behind a suit of armor. There's a suit of armor right here..." James pressed his finger against a spot on the map. "And then there's the entrance to a doorway...that must be the room."

"Where in the room did you hide it?" Tonks asked.

"In this massive chest in the corner of the room." James said. "I hope Filch hasn't found it. Or some random students. Or worst of all, _Snape._ He knows that it exists and he knows we hid it somewhere, he probably looked for it..."

"Snape?" Harry said. "Severus Snape?"

"Yeah, do you know him?" James asked.

"He's a Death Eater." Harry said. "Why would he be here?"

"He's also the potions master. But he's not a real Death Eater anymore. He used to be, but now he's a spy for Dumbledore." James said. "But he's still a slimy git. Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. I don't care how much Dumbledore claims he's changed." Then James' facial expression quickly changed from mild annoyance to outrage as he grabbed Harry's shoulder and said, "Wait, are you telling me you've _met _him? And he met you? He's _seen you_ and talked to you before while you were with the Death Eaters?"

"Well, I met him before and I've talked to him, but he's never seen my face." Harry said cautiously, confused by James' sudden anger.

"How many times have you talked to him?" James asked.

"Just a few times at Death Eater meetings. But it wasn't really like we _talked_, it was more like I told him he takes himself too seriously, and he told me that I'm insolent, and -"

"Has he ever hurt you?" James demanded, grabbing Harry's arm and holding it so tightly it almost hurt.

"No."

"Good. Then maybe he'll live to see another day." James turned around and took off towards the castle. "Come on, we've got things to do. But first we have to take a detour to the dungeons."

"Oh god, not the dungeons." Tonks sighed. She watched as James quickened his pace and ended up far ahead of them.

"What was that all about?" Harry asked Tonks quietly once James was out of earshot.

"Your dad hates Snape." Tonks said. "And I mean _hates_ him."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Why not?"

"Good point." Harry said. He was quiet for a moment as he thought about how James' mood had drastically shifted. "Is he mad at me?"

"No, no, of course not." Tonks said. "I think right now he's just mad at Snape and still worried about whatever the Death Eaters did to you."

"What do you mean 'whatever the Death Eaters did to me'?" Harry asked.

"Well, you know, Bellatrix cursed you and you've got scars all over your arms, and something obviously must have happened with needles, and he's just driving himself crazy worrying about what happened to you. And I think he's mad at himself for not being there for you." Tonks suddenly dropped her voice and said, "And, well, he doesn't seem to be _used to _worrying. He hasn't worried about anything in years, Harry. Not since he thought you died. And now that you're back, you're bringing back all these emotions in him. I think you should just talk to him about it."

Without waiting another second, Harry ran to catch up with James. For a second he considered jumping on James' back but decided against it, because he didn't seem to be in a playful mood anymore.

"Dad," Harry said once he was beside him. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." James said.

"You seemed mad."

"Don't worry, I'm not."

"Alright then." Harry stopped walking and let James get ahead. Once Tonks caught up to him, Harry said, "That went well."

"Really?" Tonks said.

"No."

They entered the castle and walked down the corridors quietly, hiding behind suits of armor anytime they saw someone. Once they made it as far as the dungeons, they all stopped.

"What are we going to do, James?" Tonks asked. "Nothing too drastic, I hope."

"Nothing drastic at all!" James said and descended a staircase towards the potions room. "Tonks, stay out here and keep watch. Harry, you can wait here too if you want."

"I want to come." Harry followed after him.

"Try to stay out of sight." James said. "If Snape sees you..."

"You're _really _not mad at me?" Harry asked.

James stopped and looked down at Harry in surprise.

"You think I'm mad at you?" James asked.

"Well, you just...seem mad." Harry said. "Ever since I told you that I know Snape."

"I'm not mad at _you_, Harry." James said, sighing. "I'm just...freaked out."

"But why?"

"All these years, you've known Snape and if he'd just taken off your mask, he would have recognized you and he could have told the Order and we could have came to save you. But he didn't. He's bloody incompetent." James ran a hand through his head and stared at the wall. "And _I'm _bloody incompetent. I'm incompetent at being a dad. I gave up on looking for you years ago and maybe if I hadn't, I would have found you sooner. I accused you of being a real Death Eater and I acted so hostile to you. I cut your hand!" James cursed under his breath and felt like the walls were closing in on him. "As if it wasn't bad enough that Bellatrix used the Cutting Curse on you, I had to go and cut your hand open, and now you think I'm mad at you. I'm such a bad father, I make you think I'm mad at you when you haven't done anything wrong. I'm really sorry."

Harry stared at James with wide eyes, stunned by his sudden outburst.

"You're not incompetent. I don't blame you for any of that. Its not _your _fault." Harry said reasonably. "Its Peter Pettigrew's fault." James kept pulling at his hair, making Harry realize how often he did that. "And if you keep pulling your hair its going to fall out."

James suddenly laughed.

"You sound just like your mum." He grinned. "She says that all the time." But then his smiled faded and he said, "Harry, never think I'm mad at you, okay? If I seem mad its just because I'm a prat. And feel free to hex me anytime you want. Its the least I deserve for not finding you sooner."

"It doesn't matter if you didn't find me sooner. I'm here now, aren't I?" Harry smiled. "And I wouldn't want to hex you."

James wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"That's true." James said, ruffling Harry's hair. "You are here now."

"Even though 'here' is the stairwell to a dungeon." Harry said. His cheek felt tingly where James had kissed it and his stomach felt all fuzzy with warmth. He tried not to show it, but he was so touched that James kissed him. No one had ever done anything that affectionate to him in his life, except for when he was a baby, but its not like he could remember that. "Whatever we're doing down there, we should probably do it now, before someone comes."

"I don't even know what we're doing. To be honest, I just want to bother Snape. Its been too long since the last time I've done that." James admitted. Then he said, "Bugger, I'm a horrible rolemodel."

"Its okay, its just Snape." Harry said. "I used to bother him all the time. I turned his hair pink once."

"Did you really?" James was both astonished and impressed. "How?"

"It was just a spell I learned." Harry shrugged. "It only lasted a few minutes though."

"What was your motive?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I used to prank Snape, it was usually because he did something that pissed me off." James said. "This one time in our sixth year at Hogwarts, he tried to curse me, so I turned his wand invisible and hid it from him. What did he do that made you turn his hair pink?"

"Is this your way of trying to find out if he ever hurt me?" Harry guessed.

"God, you're clever." James sighed. "I can't put anything past you, can I?"

Harry grinned and said, "He didn't really do anything to me, he was just being all arrogant and annoying, and he tortured some muggle man."

"He _tortured _someone?" James' eyes widened. "Right in front of you?"

"I wasn't in the room but I could hear the man screaming. He didn't seem to feel very bad about it, but I don't think he did it on his own. I think Voldemort made him do it." Harry said.

"Then there'd be no point in telling Dumbledore about it. He'll just use the excuse that Snape has to do whatever Voldemort tells him to do so he can keep up the whole Death Eater charade. Though its not entirely a charade, if you ask me." James said. "So what about it? You up for pranking Snape before we go off and look for the cloak?"

"What kind of prank?" Harry asked.

"Nothing too bad. I learned twelve years ago that karma is a serious bitch." James smiled. Then he added, "I'm proud of you, you know."

"Really?" Harry asked, his heart fluttering. "For what?"

"For everything you are." James smiled.

* * *

"Sirius, come on, you've got to keep walking."

"I can't, Moony. I'm dying."

"Sirius -"

"Go on without me."

"Sirius-"

"No, Moony. I'm sorry, but I can't go on any longer. I can't feel my legs. The end is near."

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, you're not dying." Remus looked down at Sirius who was panting on the floor. "You're just lazy."

"But I can see the light. I can see it." Sirius grabbed Remus' leg and pointed into the distance.

"That must be the way out of the Department of Mysteries!" Remus said excitedly. "Come on, get up!"

"Really?" Sirius sat up and looked. "Oh hey, you might be right."

"We could have gotten out of here ages ago if you weren't too busy complaining and lying on the floor." Remus said, grabbing Sirius by the arms and lifting him off the floor.

"But its not my fault, Moony. My whole body aches from the transformation last night. Or was it two nights ago? I've lost track of time." Sirius said. "Can't tell if its night or day around here. They haven't got any windows in this bloody place."

"Sirius, _I'm _the one who gets aches and pains after the transformation. Not you." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Moony. I just didn't want to leave, alright?" Sirius said. "Terribly sorry for stalling, but James was missing and I didn't want to leave without him. But..."

"But what?" Remus asked.

"Maybe James is already gone."

"Don't say that, Sirius! James isn't dead!" Remus snapped.

"Dead?" Sirius exclaimed, his heart wrenching at the thought of James being dead. He quickly tossed the terrifying thought aside. "No, I mean gone as in _left._ Left the Department of Mysteries. Maybe he got out."

"Let's hope so." Remus said. "The exit is right up here. Come on, let's get out of here."

"Where should we go once we get out? My place? Yours? James'? St. Mungo's?" Sirius suggested.

"I think St. Mungo's is our best option." Remus said. "I've got cuts all over me. I want to see if Lily can heal them for me. And they probably already have McNaughton in one of the emergency wards. We'll find him and see how he's doing."

"And maybe James will be there." Sirius said hopefully. "Preferably unharmed."

They reached the exit door and pushed it open. A blast of brightness early blinded them and they blinked repeatedly, trying to adjust their eyes to the sudden light after being in the dark for so long. They found themselves in the middle of the Ministry, surrounded by loads of people bustling about in their work robes, giving them the impression that it was the middle of the day.

"Apparate to St. Mungo's on three?" Remus said, shielding his eyes from the light.

"Sounds good to me." Sirius said. "One, two, three."

And with that, they Apparated with a loud crack.

* * *

Bellatrix laughed gleefully, running through the trees, getting a thrill from the sound of Lily's footsteps behind her. She loved being chased, it made everything so much more exciting. She could always practically feel her enemies' fear and frustration as they tried to keep up with her, and this time was no different. But as she darted through the forest, a sudden burn in her arm made her stop. Her Dark Mark was blazing on her wrist, and that could only mean one thing.

She looked over her shoulder and saw Lily racing towards her. With a final smirk, she Disapparated to her master's side.

"You summoned me, master?" Bellatrix knelt before Voldemort in the middle of a room somewhere in Malfoy Manor.

"What are you doing, Bellatrix?" He hissed. "Where have you been? Have you found Harry?"

"I was - I was just - no, master. I mean, I found him but he escaped from me." Bellatrix hurriedly continued after seeing the enraged look on Voldemort's face. "James Potter was with him, master. I am so sorry! James Potter's mudblood wife, she somehow knows her son is alive. She says she witnessed McNaughton's memories of the boy in a pensieve. But she hasn't seen the boy in person. She's chasing after me now, Master. She has a Deluminator. She Apparates to my location every time I say her name."

"So you're simply playing with her?" Voldemort asked coldly. "Playing when you should be working?"

"I'm sorry, master. What is it you'd like me to do?" Bellatrix asked.

"I only have two horcruxes left, Bella. Only two, thanks to your foolishness and incompetence." Voldemort snapped. "One of these horcruxes is hidden at St. Mungo's. It is the cup of Helga Hufflepuff. I've hidden it on the third floor in an old cabinet. There aren't many enchantments protecting the horcrux. I thought if any of the Healers at St. Mungo's found the cabinet but couldn't get near it do to so many protections, they'd get suspicious. So there are only a few protections on the cabinet. They should be easy enough for you to break. I've given a few others the same instructions. A large portion of my Death Eaters are in Azkaban right now and I can't be bothered to break them out, and the others are a bunch of incompetent fools who can't be trusted with a task this important. So its up to you, Yaxley, Macnair, Fenrir Greyback and Ragus Redler."

"Ragus Redler?" Bellatrix looked confused. "You're trusting _him_ with this? He's the craziest werewolf who ever lived. He'll kill everyone in sight."

"Good." Voldemort smiled grimly.

Bellatrix smiled back.

"Go now, Bellatrix." Voldemort ordered. "And make sure once you get to St. Mungo's, you say Lily Potter's name so she'll Apparate to you. Then you kill her."

"I will, master." Bellatrix said. "I promise."

Voldemort waved his hand, dismissing her, and she Apparated to St. Mungo's.

* * *

**So sorry for the cliffhanger! I wasn't going to end it right here but alas it is time for me to go to bed and I wanted to update tonight. Please review. :D **

**Oh and to all the AVPM fans, I threw in a reference for good measure. ;D  
**


	22. They'll just watch you die

**Author's note: Hey there you guys! It's about time I updated again, don't you think? And to all the AVPM fans: aren't you just stoked Darren is going to be on Glee Tuesday? Because I know I am. And Deathly Hallows comes out in theaters in less than two weeks. I am nearly dying of excitement. Okay I won't bother you any longer, go read!**

**

* * *

**_Spin faster shouting out loud_  
_You cant steal whats paid for_  
_Such something hurting again_  
_Murder, son, she's painful_

_Your cover melting inside_  
_With wide eyes you tremble_  
_Kissing over and over again_  
_Your god knows his faithful_

_

* * *

_

After peaking through the half-open door to see if Snape was in there, James found that the potions classroom was empty and gestured for Harry to follow him inside. The room was chilly and gave off a feeling of seriousness with its stone walls and cold desks, but the feeling was quickly broken when James said, "What a pleasant room. So warm and inviting."

Harry laughed; James smiled at the sound.

"What should we do?" Harry asked.

"Well, Harry, I think a better question would be," James looked down at Harry and grinned. "what shouldn't we do?"

Within the next twenty minutes, several things in the classroom had been tampered with. For instance, all of the quills on Snape's desk were jinxed to spell things incorrectly, and all of the spare quills in the drawer were jinxed to write only in pink. The chair of his desk had been charmed to run away from him when he tries to sit in it, and the chalk was enchanted to write "Slytherin is the best" on the blackboard. When Harry asked why the chalk should write that, James answered, "So then it will look like Slytherins did this and the Gryffindor students won't get blamed for it."

A few moments later they heard a swarm of footsteps coming down the hall.

"Quick, hide in here." James took Harry by the arm and led him into a closet. They shut the door in front of them right as the classroom door opened and students came pouring through, chattering and fooling around. There was a loud scraping of chairs and the thudding sounds of bags being dropped to the floor. All of the noises stopped when the classroom door banged open again and someone walked in.

"Sit down and shut your mouths." said the dark voice of Snape.

Then there was a loud thud and a sudden uproar of laughter.

"He must have tried to sit in his chair." James whispered with a grin. "I bet he fell over."

"Shut up, all of you!" Snape snapped, putting a stop to most of the laughter. "Tell me who did this immediately. Who hexed my chair?"

Nobody spoke.

"I see." Snape said softly. "Well then, fifty points from Gryffindor."

"What?" A Gryffindor student shouted. "What makes you think it was us?"

"Because I know for a fact that only a Gryffindor would pull this kind of childish prank." Snape said. "It was you, wasn't it, Weasley? You and your rotten other half."

"Sir, as much as we'd love to take credit for this kind of masterpiece-" one Gryffindor boy said.

"-we simply cannot." said a similar voice.

"You expect me to believe -" Snape started to say, but then he stopped talking suddenly. A few moments later he demanded, "What is the meaning of this? Why is the chalk writing on its own?"

James pressed his fist against his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

"'Slytherin is the best.'" one of the students read from the board. "What a lie!"

"Fifty points from Slytherin." Snape spat.

Snape tried to continue on with the class after that, trying to make it as miserable as possible for the students. But it was impossible for the students to be miserable while Snape was so confused and startled by all the jinxes that popped up all over the room. So far, one of the desks had turned invisible, two of the chairs spontaneously turned into turtles before changing back into chairs, and six of Snape's rolls of parchment exploded into a pile of feathers. Snape cursed, shouted, made threats, and took points from houses every time. At one point he took points from Hufflepuff, even though there weren't any Hufflepuffs in the room. But although Snape took quite a few points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin, none of the students sounded upset about it because they were having too much fun watching Snape try to hold it together.

When Snape stepped on an invisible water balloon and cussed loudly, Harry leaned against James' side and laughed loudly. James covered Harry's mouth with his hand and whispered, "Shh," but he too was laughing. Fortunately, Snape didn't hear them over the roar of the laughter in the class.

"Class is dismissed!" Snape yelled angrily. "Everyone get out! _Out!_ And two hundred points from Gryffindor!"

"Oh, that isn't reasonable, Snivellus." James said as he stepped out of the closet. All of the students nearly jumped out of their seats at the sight of him. "None of your students did it. It was me."

"You! _You!_ What are you -" Snape spluttered. Then he finally got a grip and said coldly, "I should have known it was you, Potter."

"Yes, you should have." James nodded in agreement. "I mean, who else is capable of this brilliance?"

"Oh, I don't know. Baboons? People who were dropped on their heads after they were born?"

"Snape, what happened to you after you were born wasn't your fault, and I assure you, it isn't _that _noticeable you were dropped on your head." James said.

There were collective gasps and laughs and shouts of "oooh!" throughout the classroom that even Snape's glare could not silence.

"Hey! Aren't you an Auror?" A redheaded boy spoke up.

"Yes, he is, George." An identical redhead spoke up. Then he looked at James and said, "Our father knows you. And seeing that you and Snape don't get along very well, I realize my father is right in his judgment of you." Then his twin grinned and said, "He speaks very highly of you."

"Quiet, Weasley!" Snape hissed. "And didn't I just tell you class is dismissed? Get out of here, all of you!"

But nobody wanted to move. The students' eyes bounced back and forth from Snape to James as if they were watching a very exciting tennis match.

"What a caring teacher you are, Snivellus. I'd love to stay and chat but I think I may be allergic to gloominess and this room is full of it." Then James reached into the closet, pulled Harry out and said, "Come on Harry, we better be off."

Snape's wand slipped out of his hand and hit the floor with a clatter. He looked like he'd been socked in the gut or clubbed over the head by a giant with the way his eyes bulged out and his sallow skin turned paler than usual. His lips moved silently, grasping for words but not finding any.

"How?" He whispered, seemingly unaware of anything else but Lily's eyes that stared out of the boy's face. "How is this - how is he -"

"You should have already known." James said, the grin sliding off his face. "After all, you bloody _met _him."

"I have _never -_"

"Shut up, Snivelly." James said. Then he said to the classroom at large, "You're all free to go. Snape isn't going to cut your toes off or anything. I mean, that's illegal. But he would if he could get away with it, believe me!"

Students quickly poured out of the classroom in a hurry, in case Snape changed his mind and tried to call them back. James led Harry to the door but before they left, Snape said, "Does Lily know?"

"Not yet." James said coldly. "We all could have known years ago if you weren't such an idiot and completely overlooked him."

"I have absolutely no idea what rubbish you're spewing right now, Potter, but I can assure you, I have never met him." Snape said.

"Yes you have." Harry said brightly.

Snape looked rattled by the sound of his voice.

"Recognize his voice, Snivellus?" James glared at him. "And don't mention this to Lily yet. I'm planning on telling her as soon as possible, and if you're honest with yourself you'll realize that she'd prefer it that way. So don't go telling her in some dramatic way that's going to upset her."

And with that, James led Harry back into the corridor and slammed the door behind them.

"That went well." James said cheerfully.

"Why would he tell Mum I'm alive? He knows her?" Harry asked.

"He has a bit of a crush on her." James grimaced.

"Ew."

"Exactly."

They both cringed simultaneously and continued down the corridor.

"What now?" Harry asked.

"We'll find Tonks then go find the cloak."

"James!" A familiar voice shouted from up ahead, making them both stop. "James Potter, is that you?"

"Professor Sprout, how good to see you." James smiled.

"What on earth are you doing here?" Professor Sprout smiled. "Not causing trouble, are you?"

"I would never dream of it."

"And who is this?" Professor Sprout looked down at Harry before jumping up and giving a little squeak. "Oh my! Is this - it can't be -"

"Professor, this is Harry, my son." James grinned at the incredulous look on her face, and Harry thought he detected pride in James' voice, making his insides feel all warm. "Try to breathe, professor. You look rather blue in the face."

"Its just - this is quite a - I thought your son was - well, you know," Professor Sprout said, flustered. "And how many times have I told you, James, that I'm not your teacher anymore. You can call me Pomona."

"I still remember all the detentions you gave me. You're still 'professor' in my mind." James said. "But what are you doing at this part of the castle? And have you seen Tonks? She was right around here a half hour ago."

"Nymphadora?" Professor Sprout looked around as if expecting to see Tonks behind her. "No, I haven't seen her in fifteen minutes."

"Well, where was she fifteen minutes ago?" James asked.

"She was running off to Dumbledore's office. I tried to stop her so we could catch up, I haven't seen her in ages, she was one of my best students - clumsy, but one of my best - however, she said she couldn't talk. She'd received an urgent message from Dumbledore apparently and said she must see him right away." Professor Sprout said. "And as for me, I was just going to deliver a message to Professor Snape."

"That's unfortunate for you." James patted her on the shoulder. "But really, professor, we must be going now. Mischief - er, I mean _education _- waits for no one." James led Harry down the corridor once more, ignoring the suspicious look Professor Sprout was giving him.

"What urgent message could Tonks have gotten?" Harry asked.

"Oh, it was probably nothing. I reckon she just made up an excuse so she wouldn't have to talk to Sprout. She's probably busy trying to come up with her own prank right now. She's been trying to prank me for years, she has this silly, delusional idea she's capable of doing it." James said. "Now, off to find the cloak."

* * *

Lily crouched on the ground under a thicket of leaves, staring at the place Bellatrix Lestrange had Disapparated twenty minutes ago, or maybe twenty hours ago. She didn't know exactly how long it had been, but her wildly thumping heart was trying to keep track of time, measuring the long moments in heartbeats. For a while she counted those heartbeats, letting all the numbers distract her from the fact that she hadn't yet heard Bellatrix calling her name through the Deluminator, but she lost count somewhere around five hundred when the horrifying thought of how fast Harry's heart must have been beating when Bellatrix cut his wrist burst through her mind, making her cry out into the silence and squeeze her eyes shut tight.

And then she just knelt there in the dirt, ears strained for any sound of Bellatrix. Behind her closed eyelids she kept seeing Harry's face and his bright green eyes that matched her own, and how his skin looked so soft and she just wanted to reach out and touch him but when she had tried to touch him, it wasn't like she was touching real flesh, it was more like the memory of what flesh felt like, and it wasn't the same. And so she let the thought of touching Harry and holding him in her arms spin around in her mind, her chest aching with longing. The vision of Bellatrix grabbing his wrist and cutting it open burned like a fresh wound in Lily's mind and she wondered how much it had hurt him. Without thinking about what she was doing, she pressed her sharpest fingernail against her wrist and dragged it across her skin, the sharp prickles of pain making her eyes water more than they already were.

She was still having trouble wrapping her mind around it: '_Harry, my baby, is alive. He's thirteen years old and he's out there somewhere, needing me.'_

Every few moments she was overcome with tremors and the only way she could calm herself down was by telling herself Harry was alive. But then another voice in her mind would whisper, '_Not for long,' _and every part of her would start screaming inside her head, '_SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP-"_

Memories wrapped her up so tightly she could barely breathe. The memories that had once been so painful when she believed Harry to be dead were now almost comforting, but yet still made her heart feel brittle, like one breath could shatter it.

_"Harry, do you want Mummy or Daddy?" Lily cooed, kneeling on the floor in front of Sirius, who was holding Harry in his lap. _

_"Say 'Daddy,' Harry." James said from beside her. "Say 'Daddy.'"_

_"No, sweetie, no, say 'Mummy!'" Lily smiled, trying to elbow James out of the way."You want _me_, don't you? You don't want him." Lily smacked James' arm and tried to shove him to the floor. She held out her arms to Harry and said, "Come on, don't you want Mummy?"_

_Harry looked at her arms, then looked at James who was pulling himself off the floor. _

_"Mummy pushed Daddy over, Harry. Mummy isn't nice." James said, holding out his arms as well. "Come to _me._"_

_Harry's big green eyes darted back and forth from one to the other, unsure of what to do. Then he suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Wemish!" _

_Looking around, Lily and James saw Remus standing behind them, smiling in amusement as Harry reached forward for Remus to pick him up. Sirius laughed at the appalled looks on Lily and James' faces as Remus lifted Harry up into his arms._

Lily bit her lip until she tasted blood, tracing patterns in the dirt with her fingernail, the memories crashing over her like ocean waves.

_She was lounging on the couch with Harry standing in her lap, his little hands touching her face curiously. There were smears of gold paint on his cheek, god knows how that happened, and his shirt was covered with chocolate. The chocolate on his shirt she found particularly strange due to the fact that he was only a year old and not even old enough to eat chocolate. She suspected it had something to do with Remus.  
_

_"What have you and Daddy and his friends been up to?" Lily smiled down at him. "Why are you all messy?"_

_He grinned, revealing sixteen small teeth, and patted her on the nose in what he obviously thought was an affectionate manner. _

_Just then a parade of loons came crashing through the doorway, sniggering and stomping their muddy shoes against the clean floor. The loons' names were James, Sirius and Remus. Lily raised her eyebrows in amusement, wondering how much Remus had to drink, because only a huge amount of alcohol could get him to wear that feathery pink hat. _

_"Oh Lily," Sirius grinned at her, trying to take off the sparkly blue scarf he was wearing and coming close to strangling himself with it in the process. "Lily, Lily, Lily, you look naaaaice today - __ouch!" He cried out in pain when James elbowed him in the temple. _

_"Remus, why does Harry have chocolate all over his shirt? And in his hair." She sniffed Harry's hair curiously._

_"Why you askin' me?" Remus slurred, falling onto a couch._

_"Remus, I've known you since we were 11, and not once have I seen you without a chocolate bar in your pocket." Lily said. "And Sirius, why does Harry have gold paint on him?"_

_"Why you askin' me?" Sirius asked from the floor where he'd made himself a cozy bed out of Harry's blocks. _

_"Harry, daddy's home. Did you miss me?" James dropped to his knees in front of Lily and nuzzled Harry's face. _

_Harry answered by sucking on James' cheek. _

_"You're a strange one, you are." James said affectionately._

_"Ouch! Bugger!" Sirius rolled onto his side and rubbed his back. "Just impaled myself on the side of one of those blocks. Bugger me!"_

_"Never pass up a chance to cuss, do you, Sirius?" Lily rolled her eyes._

_"Fuck no." Sirius snickered._

_"Bugra." Harry said, patting the side of Lily's head._

_"He's trying to say 'bugger' now, Sirius, look what you've done." Lily said disapprovingly._

_"It sickens me, Lil, how often Sirius swears. It really needs to stop. That kind of profane language is just downright awful." James said solemnly._

_"James, don't act like you're any better."_

_"I'll have you know, Lily, that I _never _curse, so - fuck! Ow, Harry, don't pull Daddy's hair." James tried to gently pry Harry's fingers out of his hair, but the baby was quite keen on tugging it. James head jerked around in whatever direction Harry pulled it in. "Daddy needs his hair, Harry, because if it all gets ripped out, what will be left for your Mum to swoon over?"_

_"You should just lighten up and swear more often, Lily. Its a great way of letting out your emotions." Sirius said._

_"No, it isn't, its just something uneducated people do because they think it sounds cool, but it doesn't. Aren't I right, Remus?" Lily looked over at Remus for support but found that he was out like a light, his limbs dangling over the sides of the couch as he drooled. "If he were awake, he'd agree with me. Swearing is for angry people like you."_

_"I'm _never _angry, Lil." Sirius scoffed. _

_"Did you not throw an apple at Severus' face at the Order meeting yesterday?" Lily glared at him._

_"His face upsets me." Sirius said reasonably. Then he barked a laugh and said, "James, what is Harry doing to your hair?"_

_"He's either trying to braid it or trying to rip it out. I'm not quite sure." James winced as Harry tugged his hair again, but he seemed to have given up on trying to stop it. Now he was just kneeling there, surrendering his hair to the mercy of Harry's hands. _

_Lily giggled, her heart softening at how James was putting his hair, his precious hair, at risk just to make Harry happy. One of James' biggest pet peeves was when people mess with his hair, but despite that fact, he was just sitting there smiling up at Harry, only cringing when Harry pulled too hard._

_She leaned forward and kissed the top of Harry's head, brushing his bangs away from his face, making a note to cut it before it started to look like Sirius' hair._

As she sat there in the dirt, delving into so many memories she hadn't allowed herself to think about before because they'd always been too painful, she started feeling something pulse inside of her, like a heartbeat, only it wasn't her own heartbeat, it was like another heart inside of her own struggling to be heard. It made her wonder if she was starting to lose her mind, or if the knowledge that Harry was alive made her feel his heart beating out there somewhere.

'_I'll find you, I promise,' _She vowed silently.

And then she heard it. The maniacal voice of Bellatrix Lestrange coming from the Deluminator on the ground. Her eyes flashed open and she snatched the Deluminator off the ground.

"Lily! Come and get me! The game is very nearly over!" Bellatrix taunted.

"Oh yes it is." Lily said harshly.

Without wasting a moment, she stepped into the ball of light and Disapparated.

But she was very surprised when she landed on her knees in an empty St. Mungo's ward. The floor was cold under her hands and the blinds on the windows were pulled down so only a few rays of sunlight could peak through the slats, leaving a grid of light on the opposite wall; however, the rest of the room was dark, with shadows looming in the corners. The mattresses on the beds were bare and heaps of junk littered the tops of the desks at the side of the room; dusty old medical tools and empty glass vials left forgotten by other Healers. It seemed like just a regular unused room.

Except something was off.

She had never lost the skills she's gained from Auror training. Moody had permanently drilled the "constant vigilance" thing into her mind, so that for the rest of her life she was constantly aware of little details. And because of this, she could automatically tell there was something out of place in the room, something that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Her eyes darted all around, trying to pinpoint the problem, as she whipped out her wand and got to her feet.

And that was when she noticed the pale, gaunt face grinning at her from the dark space under the bed, startling her so badly she jumped back into a cabinet, shelves of potion bottles crashing to the floor.

"Impedimenta!" Lily shouted as Bellatrix rolled out from beneath the bed. But she missed her target and the spell hit the beside table.

"Locomotor Mortis!" Bellatrix said and before Lily could do anything, her legs were locked together and she hit the floor with a painful thud.

Bellatrix crossed the room in three quick strides, grabbed Lily under the arms and shoved her into a chair. Then she pried the wand from Lily's grasp and tossed it over her shoulder; it hit the wall and skittered under one of the beds, disappearing into the dark.

"Now, now, mudblood," Bellatrix said, her hand on Lily's head. "You're stuck here at the mercy of me. And this is not a situation you'd ever want to be in, is it?"

"Just tell me where Harry is!" Lily spat. "I've had enough of this!"

"Oh don't worry." Bellatrix smiled sadistically. "It will be ending for you very soon." She ran her finger down the length of Lily's arm. Lily tried to smack her hand away, but Bellatrix caught her wrist, held it in a bone-crushing grip and said through clenched teeth, "But I'm going to have some fun first. Master told me to just kill you and then resume with my mission. But you see, you've injured my dignity quite badly today. I'm not too fond of being screamed at and attacked by a filthy mudblood. So I think its time you've learned your lesson. But if you're wondering why I've only locked your legs together, I'll have you know its because I prefer it that way, when my victims are a bit capable of fighting back; not so much that they can run away, but enough for them to struggle against me. It's a matter of pride, you see. There's no pride in torturing someone who is completely incapable of moving, is there? It's like beating up a child. Could be fun, and you'd most certainly get the job done, but there's not so much pride in it because there's no challenge."

"Like I give a damn about your reasoning for anything!" Lily shouted. "You said if I played your game, you'd tell me where Harry is! But you were lying, weren't you? Of course you were, what else could I expect from a twisted psychopath like you!"

There was a loud crack and the right side of Lily's head exploded with pain, her ears ringing so much she could barely hear what Bellatrix was screaming at her, she could only see the lips moving and the dark eyes flashing angrily. It took a few minutes for Lily to realize Bellatrix had punched her.

"You ought to show a bit more respect, mudblood!" Bellatrix hissed before raking her nails across Lily's arm. When she cried out in pain, Bellatrix smiled, evidently pleased. "Yes, it hurts, doesn't it?" When Lily said nothing, Bellatrix continued, "Your son doesn't like it when I scratch him either."

She tried to lunge at Bellatrix's throat, rage roaring through her mind like thunder, but due to the fact that her legs were stuck together, she fell forward out of the chair and hit the floor. Bellatrix laughed and moved toward one of the desks, picking up a small black potion bottle.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Lily screamed, trying to unstick her legs as the thought of Bellatrix scratching Harry cut through her heart like a knife. She'd already seen Bellatrix cut Harry's wrist with her wand and that was terrifying and sickening enough, but there was something animalistic and barbarous about Bellatrix scratching Harry with her nails; it was like she was a wild, feral beast with claws. "I'LL BLOODY KILL YOU!"

"Ah, what's this?" Bellatrix asked, looking at the label of the potion bottle, ignoring Lily's threats. "An extremely strong cure for Dragon Pox, not to be drank by anyone who isn't suffering from Dragon Pox. It says not to drink more than a teaspoon per day or side effects can be severe, and sometimes fatal." After managing to stand up, Lily tried to hop towards the door but with a careless flick from Bellatrix's wand, she was struck back down to the floor. Then she said, "I'm curious to know what these severe side effects are. Aren't you? Perhaps I'll have you drink this whole bottle, just to see what will happen to you. Don't _you _want to know? You're a Healer, aren't you? You could think of this as an educational experience to further your knowledge of the negative side effects of potions. Oh, this could be fun! What other dangerous potions have we got here..."

When Bellatrix turned her back on Lily to admire the rest of the potions, Lily saw this as an opportunity. She rolled over onto her side, squinted under the bed until she could make out the shape of her wand lying under there and thought, '_Accio wand!' _with as much concentration as she could. And, luckily, the wand soared out from under the bed and into her outstretched hand.

Just as Bellatrix turned back around, Lily shouted, "Impedimenta!"

Bellatrix looked as if she'd hit an invisible wall and staggered back, giving Lily enough time to unstick her legs with, "Finite Incantatem!" Then she yelled, "Expelliarmus," knocking the wand out of Bellatrix's hand and sending it flying across the room. Realizing she didn't have enough time to go get it, Bellatrix tried to charge at Lily.

But with a quick slash from Lily's wand, Bellatrix flew backwards onto a desk, slid across the surface and landed in a twisted heap at the other side as broken bottles crashed to the floor around her. Lily climbed over the desk and said, "Incarcerous." Invisible ropes sprang from the tip of her wand and snaked around Bellatrix's limbs. Then Lily levitated the woman into the same chair she had been forced to sit in.

Bellatrix seemed to be too furious and shocked to form tangible sentences. She spluttered and shrieked curse words angrily but nothing she said was very coherent. The fury and rage coursing through her veins left behind a buzzing in Lily's ears, or maybe it was just leftover pain from being punched in the head. But either way, Lily felt strangely empowered and stronger than she'd felt in over a decade. If she'd tried to take on a Death Eater a few days ago, she would not have been able to. But there was something driving her forward now; that heartbeat she felt inside her own, those green eyes she'd seen in McNaughton's memories, and it made her feel so vulnerable and worried, but at the same time so very invincible. The twisted woman in the chair below looked up at her with hate filled eyes, and Lily returned the look with one of equal loathing - possibly even more loathing.

"Now, you're going to tell me where Harry is," Lily knelt in front of the chair, tauntingly close to Bellatrix's face, knowing that it was driving the woman mad that she couldn't do anything. "or I'll fucking kill you."

Bellatrix spat in her face. Lily wiped it with her sleeve, chuckling darkly.

"You can spit at me all you want. Its disgusting, yes. However, it doesn't hurt me." Then Lily smiled and said, "But I'm going to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" Bellatrix laughed. "You may have me tied up, but even though you could do anything you want to me, you won't. You want to know why? Because you're a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors are weak, spineless creatures that are too afraid to use power."

"You really think so? You really think I'm not going to hurt you because I'm a Gryffindor? I think the fact that I'm a Gryffindor only proves that I _will _hurt you. Because what are Gryffindors known for?"

"Being idiotic."

"No, actually, we're known for being _fiercely_ protective of the ones we love." Lily raised her wand to the side of her head and healed the throbbing bruise that was forming there from when Bellatrix had punched her. Then she looked down at Bellatrix scornfully. "You don't understand the lengths a mother would go to for her child, do you? You're about to find out."

* * *

"Remus! Sirius!" Flaherty's head snapped up at the sound of approaching footsteps and his face lit up at the sight of Remus and Sirius staggering towards him. "You guys are alive! Oh man, this is great! We thought you were goners!"

"Good to know you have so much faith in us." Sirius grumbled, dropping into a chair beside Flaherty in the empty corridor. "So what's up with Thomas?"

"What sort of curses have the Death Eaters put on them?" Remus asked, sitting down beside Sirius. "Is he going to pull through?"

"Is he awake? Can we talk to him?" Sirius asked.

"Where's Lily?" Remus wondered aloud, looking up and down the hallway.

"Slow down, you guys!" Flaherty threw his hands up. "First of all, where have you been? Did you manage to capture Bellatrix Lestrange? Did you find James?"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second!" Sirius jumped out of his seat. "What do you mean 'did we find James?' You mean he isn't here? He hasn't gotten back yet?"

"What's all the shouting out here-" A door opened and Paleski stepped into the hall. "Sirius! Remus! Oh, thank Merlin you're alive. Have you found James? And have you heard from Lily?"

"Lily's missing too?" Remus stood up.

Kingsley appeared in the doorway behind Paleski and relief crossed over his dark features.

"It's good to see you both alive and well." Kingsley said. "But have you -"

"No, no, no, we haven't found James!" Sirius said anxiously, his heart pounding in fear.

A sudden ringing sound from the room Kingsley and Paleski just came out of made them all jump.

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

"It's Thomas. He has to ring a bell every time he needs something because, well, he can't exactly speak right now." Paleski said. "His teeth were all damaged and cracked from being ground and clenched together, probably because the Death Eaters Cruciated him so much. The Healers had to take out all his teeth and give him new ones, but everything is still sore so he can't move his mouth yet."

"Damn," Sirius muttered.

"Why don't you guys come in and see him?" Paleski gestured for them all to enter the room.

The room was bright and had the sharp smell of medical potions. In the corner there were two metal desks with plaques that read "Serina Davis" and "Lily Potter." Sirius could see some of of Lily's personal belongings covered one of the desks: a bracelet James had given her, some documents, and a framed picture. Although he noticed some important things were missing, like her keys, the first aid kit she usually kept with her, and her Deluminator.

He didn't focus on this for too long, though. His attention was immediately grabbed by McNaughton, who was sitting up in bed, bandages over his mouth and around his head. His hand was clenching a little silver bell and his eyes were wide and eager.

"How does he eat and drink with those bandages on?" Sirius asked.

"He's only had them on for an hour, and they'll be able to take them off in two hours. They're just there as a reminder for him not to move his mouth." Paleski said. Then he asked, "What is it, Thomas?"

McNaughton dropped the bell and pointed to Sirius.

"Me? What about me?" Sirius asked.

Thomas sat up further and beckoned him closer.

"If you're wondering where James is, I don't know." Sirius said. "We haven't seen him. God, if anything happens to James-"

McNaughton pointed at him again and nodded vigorously, obviously trying to convey a message.

"James?" Sirius guessed. "Do you know something about James?"

McNaughton seemed to think about it for a moment, then nodded.

"Well, what is it?" Sirius asked eagerly. "Do you know where he is?"

McNaughton shook his head.

"What is it then?" Sirius pressed.

"Can't this wait until he's capable of talking again?" Paleski asked.

"No, if it's about James, I need to know _now._" Sirius said. "Thomas, what about James?"

"He might not even know what he's talking about yet, Sirius. He could still be a little loopy in the head." Flaherty pointed out. "Remember at the Ministry he kept referring to that Junior Death Eater kid as James?"

McNaughton's eyes went even wider and he started nodding again.

"See what I mean? He's probably just trying to tell you that James is a Death Eater or something ridiculous." Flaherty said.

But McNaughton shook his head wildly.

"No, I think he's trying to say something else." Remus said. "So what you're tying to tell us, Thomas, has something to do with that boy who was with the Death Eaters at the Ministry?"

McNaughton nodded and that pointed to the other side of the room.

"What?" Sirius said and they all looked around, trying to see what he was pointing at. "What is it? Can't you just write it down?"

"I don't think he'd be able to hold a quill. Some of his fingers are sprained." Kingsley said.

He continued jabbing his finger in the direction of one of the desks.

"Why are you pointing at that desk?" Paleski asked. "What does that have to do with anything?" Then he noticed the plaque on the desk and said, "Oh! That's Lily's desk. Are you trying to tell us something about Lily?"

McNaughton nodded and then folded his arms together like he was cradling something. Everyone stared at him blankly.

"I don't get it." Sirius said.

McNaughton made the cradling motion again and rocked his arms back and forth.

"A baby?" Kingsley guessed. "It has to do with Lily, the boy from the Ministry, and a baby?"

"Lily kidnapped a baby?" Paleski asked.

McNaughton threw up his hands in frustration before getting out of bed.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Flaherty said. "Lay back down, Thomas."

McNaughton pushed Flaherty out of the way with a surprising amount of strength for an injured person and limped towards Lily's desk with the others following closely behind. Then he grabbed a framed picture off the desk and shoved it in Sirius' face, pointing at a spot on the picture.

"Lily and James?" Paleski leaned over and looked at the picture. "Is that what he's pointing to?"

"No." Sirius said, his face pale. "He's pointing to Harry."

McNaughton's eyes lit up and he nodded again, his finger pointing to Harry in the picture, who was being closely held by a twenty-one year old Lily. James had his arm around her and was leaning down to kiss Harry's forehead.

"You think the kid from the Ministry..." Kingsley said slowly, disbelievingly, his brow furrowed.

Sirius dropped the picture back onto the desk and stormed out of the room, down the hall and into a stairwell, where he sank down to the floor and held his head in his hands. His eyes started to feel prickly like they were going to release tears, so he closed them tight and pressed his hands against them. His breath started to come in shaking gasps.

Why would McNaughton do something so stupid? Why would he make them play this stupid game of charades about that boy at the Ministry, and then point to a picture of Harry? He had obviously been trying to imply that Harry - that Harry was - but no, that was just ridiculous - why would Thomas be so stupid?

He punched the wall and his fist throbbed in pain but he barely noticed.

"Sirius," Remus entered the stairwell, but Sirius didn't look up. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Sirius said. But then he said, "No! No, I'm not alright! Are any of us alright? Have we ever been alright in the past twelve years? No, we haven't!"

"Why did you run off like that?"

"Because Thomas is a bloody idiot." Sirius said, clenching his teeth.

"That's a bit harsh-"

"He's trying to imply that Harry is alive!" Sirius yelled.

"Well, his mind is already a bit fuzzy because of all the curses the Death Eaters used on him, and then he must have seen a child that looked a bit like James and it gave him the wrong idea. He isn't capable of thinking properly right now so he's making strange assumptions, that's all. He's just a little confused."

"I don't care if he's confused!" Sirius shouted, his eyes red and angry. "Doesn't he realize how much that hurts?"

Remus was taken aback by this sudden outburst. He'd never really heard Sirius speak about his pain over Harry's death. He'd never really heard Sirius express pain about _anything _before. Sirius was the kind of person who took all his emotions and pushed them down where the world couldn't see them and put on a smile to fool everyone, like pain wasn't manly enough for him. But now here he was, sitting on the floor of a stairwell, on the verge of bursting into tears.

Remus would have smiled if it wasn't so sad.

"Why does it hurt you that much?" Remus asked, although he had already guessed the answer.

Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his hand against his mouth to hide the fact that his lip was trembling. He thought of being twenty one years old and happy, lifting his godson into his arms and letting the baby pull his hair, or looking into the crib and seeing brilliant green eyes staring back up at him curiously before trying to grab his hair again. Sirius would laugh and say, "Harry, why are you so obsessed with hair?" and the baby would grin behind his pacifier.

"Because I almost believed it." Sirius said, his eyes stinging with tears. "I wanted to believe it. That Harry is..." He let the sentence trail off when he found himself unable to say it out loud. If he said it out loud, it would make it hurt even more. He couldn't even allow himself to _think _it. If he thought it, if he said it, if he _believed _it, and then he found out it wasn't true, it would rip open the old wounds and make them hurt more than ever. So he couldn't allow himself to consider the possibility that McNaughton was onto something. He just couldn't, for the sake of not getting his hopes up and then having them painfully crushed.

"You wanted to believe Harry is alive." Remus said.

"Remus, don't!" Sirius covered his face with his hands, his chest tightening with pain. "I'm not like you. I'm not used to being all soft and wimpy. I -" He was interrupted by a loud, blood curdling shriek that made the two of them jump. The scream dragged on into a moan of pain and died down for a few moments before starting up again. It sounded from somewhere above, on one of the top floors.

"What was that?" Remus went to reach for his wand but remembered he didn't have it; Bellatrix Lestrange had taken it. "It sounds like someone's being tortured."

"Settle down, Remus." Sirius said, his voice hoarse. "This is a hospital, after all. It's probably just one of the patients."

"But it sounds like it's coming from one of the top floors. Hadn't Lily told us before that the top floors are unused?" Remus said uneasily, craning his neck to see up the stairwell.

"Quit being paranoid." Sirius said. When the screaming continued, he rolled his eyes and shouted, "Oi! Keep it down up there!"

"It's not funny, Sirius. I have a bad feeling about this. I'd go up there and see what's going on, but I haven't got a wand." Remus frowned.

"It's probably nothing -" Sirius started to say but was cut off by a loud bang and a series of crashes coming from up above, then there were loud, harsh voices yelling to one another. Sirius jumped up in alarm and said, "Okay, that's not nothing."

They stood still for a moment, listening. Doors were opening and closing and more people started yelling, but the tortured screams had stopped.

"Death Eaters." Remus said. "I think there might be Death Eaters up there. And..."

"And what?"

"There's a voice I recognize. I haven't heard it in so many years, but I recognize it." Remus said coldly. "Fenrir Greyback."

"Shit! Greyback? Are you sure?" Sirius asked.

"Of course I'm sure!" Remus said. "Let's go get the others and then go up there."

"But you haven't got a wand." Sirius said as they ran back down the hallway to the room where the other Aurors were.

"I'm sure I can borrow one from somebody." Remus said.

As they burst into McNaughton's room, every head whipped around to stare at them.

"What's going on?" Kingsley asked at once.

"Death Eaters. And Fenrir Greyback." Sirius panted, his side hurting from running so hard. "Upstairs."

* * *

"Aha!" James cried, kneeling in front of big wooden chest. "Found it."

Harry leaned over the side and stared down into the chest. There were old boxes of sweets, heaps of old robes, and loads of broken telescopes and chessboards, but underneath all of that was a pile of shimmery silver fabric. James grabbed it and pulled it out, the soft fabric practically slipping between his fingers.

"Does it still work?" Harry asked.

"See for yourself." James grinned before throwing the cloak over himself and vanishing before Harry's eyes. Harry's eyes went wide and he reached forward to see if he could feel James there, but then he felt two strong arms wrap around him from behind and lift him off his feet.

"Yeah, it works." Harry said.

James grinned, put Harry down and removed the cloak.

"It's yours now." James handed it out to him. "Use it wisely." Then he added, "And that means no using it for anything educational or to follow rules. You must only use it for mischief and rule breaking."

Harry grinned as he took it in his hands. He put it over his arm and watched it disappear.

"Thank you." He looked up at James and smiled.

James grinned and ruffled his hair.

"James!"

They both looked around to see who had shouted and saw Tonks standing in the doorway, her hands shaking and eyes wide with panic.

"James, I need to talk to you! It's important!" She said.

"If you're trying to prank me, it won't work." James smirked. "I don't easily fall for things like this."

"I mean it, James! It's important!" She said urgently. "It's about Lily!"

That definitely wiped the smirk off James' face.

"What's wrong? Is Lily alright?" James asked. "What's happening?"

"Come into the hall and talk to me." Tonks said.

"Wait here, alright?" James said to Harry before following Tonks into the corridor.

She'd changed her hair from bubblegum pink to deep purple and her usual smile had been replaced with a worried frown. She was leaning against the wall and wringing her hands nervously, staring at James like she was preparing to deliver bad news.

"What is it, Tonks? What's going on?" He asked anxiously. "Is Lily hurt?"

"Well, I don't really know for sure, but - well, there's something happening at St. Mungo's."

"What do you mean?"

"James, there's no time to explain, but there are Death Eaters there, and we have to go there! Right now!"

"What about Harry?" James looked towards the door. "I can't just leave him here alone. What if he tries to follow us to St. Mungo's?"

"Do you really think he'd do that?" Tonks frowned skeptically.

"He's my son, Tonks. _My _son."

"Yeah, you're right. If he's related to you, he'd definitely do it." Tonks sighed. "Well then, make him promise not to come! Or have someone mind him!"

"Who could keep him in line? He wouldn't even obey Bellatrix Lestrange."

"What about Snape?"

"Are you kidding me!" James shouted. "You think I'd leave my only son at the mercy of Snape? How about _no,_ Tonks! Snape would probably poison him, and then Harry would hex Snape into oblivion before sneaking off to St. Mungo's, and Snape wouldn't do a thing to stop him. That's exactly what would happen."

"We'll just have to think of someone who can scare children into behaving themselves, but cares about them." Tonks said.

"Where are we going to find someone like that?" James thought aloud.

Then it hit them.

* * *

Professor McGonagall was grading papers at her desk, frowning as she read a particularly ridiculous one that had been written in orange ink. It didn't have a name on it but by the horribly incoherent scrawl she guessed it had been written by one of the Weasley twins. As if it wasn't bad enough they transfigured their teacups into rubber chickens and started beating the other students with them, they had to go and write their essays in bright orange ink that was nearly impossible to read. She sighed, put down her quill and pinched the bridge of her nose, glad for some peace and quiet after a terribly long class.

That was when the door of her room burst open and she heard two voices yell, "Professor!"

She opened her eyes and saw two of her former students, James Potter and Nymphadora Tonks, running towards her.

"James, Nymphadora, what on earth are you doing here?" Her brow furrowed inquisitively.

"Professor, this might be a bit much to ask and I don't have enough time to explain the whole story and you're going to look at me like I'm crazy like you're doing right now, but I really need you to watch my son and make sure he doesn't go to St. Mungo's."

"What? Potter, what are you talking about, what do you men_ 'your son'_? What are you -"

"I won't go to St. Mungo's, I swear." a voice said from behind James. "No one has to watch me."

Professor McGonagall nearly fell out of her chair. She jumped in surprise, her eyes bulging out of her head and her mouth falling open at the sight before her. She took off her glasses, rubbed them on her shirt, put them back on and let out a yelp of surprise when she inspected the young boy who stood before her. He appeared to be twelve years old, possibly thirteen, with a mess of dark hair and bright green eyes she recognized all too well.

"Harry?" She whispered with a hand over her heart.

The boy nodded.

"How is this possible?" She looked at James incredulously.

"There is _no _time to explain, professor. We really have to go!" Tonks said. "But please, just watch him, don't let him leave!"

"Well, alright, but when you come back, I demand an explanation!" McGonagall said.

"Okay, but in the meantime just let Harry tell you, and we'll be back! I don't know when, though, but we will be back!" Tonks said before running for the door.

"Why can't I come?" Harry asked.

"It's far too dangerous, Harry." James said as he followed after Tonks.

"Going to Lestrange Manor was dangerous, but you let me -"

"And I've learned from that mistake." James said. "What happened at Lestrange Manor...I'll never let it happen again. That's why you need to stay here, where it's safe."

"But what if you get hurt?" Harry said with wide eyes.

"Well, there's a chance I will, but it'll be alright."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"You should take me with you."

"Harry, you have to stay here. Do you understand?" James asked.

Harry looked away from him.

James dropped to his knees in front of Harry so that they were level with each other and said, "Harry, look at me." He took Harry's face in his hands and lightly threaded his fingers through the boy's hair while saying, "You _must _stay here. This is very important. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded.

"I let you go to Lestrange Manor and you got hurt, and I won't let that happen again." James said, looking into Harry's eyes intently, hands still on his face. "Now please, _please_ listen to Professor McGonagall."

"When will you come back?" Harry asked.

"I don't know." James answered. "But I promise I will come back, and then you can meet your mum and your godfather and Remus." Then he kissed Harry's forehead and whispered, "I love you. Stay safe. I'll see you as soon as possible."

Harry was stunned; he could still feel where James' lips had touched his forehead, there was a pleasant shivery feeling in his spine and his mind was still processing what his dad had just said: '_I love you.' _He'd never even heard those words spoken before, let alone heard someone say them to him.

Before he could even think of a way to reply, James stood up, walked over to Tonks and together they left the room, leaving Harry behind with a very perplexed Professor McGonagall.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter and please review, as always! :D**


	23. And it's still so hard to be who you are

**Hellooo! This chapter here isn't really a part of the plot, and it doesn't pick up where the last chapter left off. It's more of a bonus chapter, an idea I thought would be interesting so I decided to write about it. It takes place in the past, years before the story begins. Well, here you go. **

_**

* * *

**_

_Let's try to remember these days back in December._  
_ Our lives were very different, I was lonely when we first met.  
__I miss you so much, a self inflicted coma_  
_The days drag on like marathons,__ I'm running with bare feet._  
_ And when I feel the stress, I'm lonely and depressed_  
_ I picture you in the dress__ you wore four weeks ago._

* * *

**Seven years ago**

Over the years, Lily had found herself starting to resent mothers.

She was only twenty-six years old but sometimes she felt like an old, bitter, ninety year old woman, with all the contempt she held inside. She tried not to let it get to her, she tried to smile and see the world as something better than the gloomy place it was, and sometimes she could convince herself, but reality would always catch up with her after a while. At the moment she was standing outside of a shop in London on a cold December day wearing a blue dress and a wool coat, waiting for her friends to be done with their shopping, and watching all the mothers walk by with their children, jealousy sending pangs to her heart.

These mothers didn't seem to realize how lucky they were. They were so busy talking on their cell phones and talking to each other that they barely spared glances for their children who walked beside them. One woman who was pushing a stroller groaned exasperatedly when her baby started crying. Lily scowled and thought, '_Don't look so annoyed. You're lucky you even have your baby.' _

She sat down on a bench, rested her head in her hands and forced herself to breathe calmly, '_Calm down, Lily, pull yourself together, stop hating the world just because the world has been cruel to you.'_

So instead of sulking around and thinking negatively, she tried to find something good to focus on, something nice and pretty. And for a moment she thought, '_the snow'_ and started concentrating on that; the way it fell like little bits of cotton and frosted the ground in white. But the snow kept being trampled on by the muddy boots of passersby and before long it was all slushy and gray.

'_My god,' _She thought frustratedly. '_Even the snow gets ruined. Is there nothing pure in this world? Is there nothing that life can't ruin? Even the damn snow get's all muddy sooner or later; there isn't a clean bit of snow in sight.'_

But then she noticed something peculiar at the other side of the street. A young boy stood alone on the sidewalk, the hood of his jacket pulled up over his blonde head, and his dark eyes were darting around nervously, as if looking for someone. Then a severe-looking blonde woman who appeared to be his mother grabbed him by the shoulder, turned him around and appeared to be telling him off. Then she pointed to a bench and ordered him to sit down. He did so reluctantly, looking at his mother apprehensively. Lily's brow furrowed as she watched curiously. There was something _off _about that boy and his mother. Something nagging at her.

Then when the blonde woman pulled out a wand, Lily gasped in shock. Seeing a witch in London was no big surprise, but who would take out a wand in public?

A moment later, the woman leaned in and whispered something in the boy's ear before walking away and leaving him sitting there on the bench. She wove through the crowd on the sidewalk and didn't reappear.

_'Why would she leave her son there alone?' _Lily thought a bit angrily. '_In London of all places...she's a witch, she should know not to leave a _child_ unattended, what with the war going on.'_

The boy leaned over on the bench and rested his head on his arms tiredly.

'_Well,' _Lily thought. '_I might as well keep an eye on this boy until his foolish, incompetent mother comes back. Just in case anything happens...'_

As the minutes past, the boy continued to rest there on the bench with his hood pulled up and his eyes closed. Snow was starting to gather on his hood and shoulders, fresh and white, and didn't fall off because he didn't move. As a matter of fact, the snow on his head was the only pure, clean snow she could see.

Just as Lily was about to get up and go over there, his mother suddenly reappeared beside him. There was an angry look on her face as she yanked the boy to his feet and said, "Come along, now, hurry, we must go."

As Lily stared, the boy glanced over at her, and there was something strange about his brown eyes. It unnerved her. It made her squirm in her seat. It made her want to get up and chase after him. She rose to her feet, a strange sensation in her heart as she watched him walk away, the blonde boy with the snow on his jacket.

But then dozens of more strangers walked past, blocking her view, and the boy and his mother were gone without a trace.

* * *

"Why were you just lying there on the bench, half asleep? Didn't I specifically tell you to sit there and try to look alive until I came back? You must have looked so odd, I'm sure lots of people turned to stare."

"No one looked at me! I swear!"

"You're just lucky no one tried to talk to you. If anyone stopped and asked you if you were an orphan-"

"I would have lied."

"You're not smart enough to lie."

"But - but you told me what to say if someone asks me questions. I remember what you told me to say. I remember."

"You're six years old, you probably don't even remember what you ate for breakfast."

"But I had cereal for breakfast."

"Shut up and come over here. Let me get this stupid disguise off of you."

Bellatrix reached down and ripped the blonde wig off of Harry's head, and with a wave of her wand his eyes turned back to green. Then she flourished her wand over her head and her hair returned to its natural color, the black setting over her head like ink until all traces of blonde were gone, her face seeming to melt into clay before reconstructing itself to look how it normally did. Harry looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes, so eager to please. She sneered at him.

"Get out of my face, you have the eyes of that mudblood." Bellatrix said, giving him a shove toward the staircase. "The glamor spell could barely hide that. We're just lucky no one paid much attention to you." Then she started mumbling to herself, "Can't even go off to do important things for the Dark Lord without this little mutt falling asleep in public..."

"Bella, what's a mudblood?" Harry asked from the top of the stairs, peering down over the railing. "Is it bad?"

"Yes, it's bad." She snapped.

"What do you mean I have the 'eyes of that mudblood'-"

"It's not important, love, go upstairs and play." Bellatrix suddenly changed her tone from commanding and harsh to sweet and affectionate, which seemed to work best with him. He beamed at her before running up the stairs. "Filthy half-blood," she muttered as soon as he was gone.

Upstairs in his bedroom, Harry felt uneasy and yet somehow impressed that he'd managed to lie to Bellatrix and get away with it. He had told her, '_No one saw me,' _but that was a downright lie. Because someone _did_ see him and he knew that very well. There had been a woman sitting on a bench right across the street. She was pretty with long red hair and a kind-looking face, and she wore a long wool coat over a blue dress. He'd had his eyes closed most of the time but every few seconds he would squint and he could see the woman staring at him. Then right before Bellatrix came back, the redheaded woman stood up and looked like she was about to walk over to him.

A part of him wished she did.

Sure, Harry liked Bellatrix and he was quite content with his life sometimes, when Bellatrix was being nice to him and wasn't punishing him or one of the prisoners.

But then there were other times when he'd suddenly feel like everything was all wrong and he could never figure out why, and he'd start panicking and breathing funny. There were some times when Harry looked into Bellatrix's eyes and he saw something wrong there, something cold, and he didn't understand what it was. There were times when he'd hear the "bad people" screaming down in the dungeon and he'd wonder if they were really bad at all, or if they were just victims.

If that redheaded woman had come over to talk to him, what would have happened? Would it have changed everything? Would it have changed nothing? Would she have just said "hello, are you alright?" and then carried on about her day? Or would she have talked to him, taken him by the hand and brought him somewhere warm? Somewhere better? What if she had? What if she was a really nice person? What if he never sees her ever again? He probably wouldn't.

_What if? What if? What if? _

"What's wrong, Harry?" Rayden asked from the top bunk. "You seem kind of down."

"Just thinking." Harry said quietly.

"What happened in the city today? Did Bellatrix's mission work out?" an eight-year-old Kyro asked from the bed across the room.

Harry shrugged. He sat in silence for a few moments, pondering everything, before jumping up and climbing the ladder to Rayden's bed.

"Rayden," He said. "I saw a woman in the city today."

"I'm sure there were loads of women in the city, Harry." said ten-year-old Mile from the floor where he was working on a puzzle.

"Oh, really?" Rayden asked Harry kindly.

"Yes, she had red hair."

"That's a sign of lunacy." Kyro said.

"She looked nice." Harry said defensively.

Then he jumped down from Rayden's bed and climbed into his own. After trying to brush the snow out of his hair, he closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep, thinking of that woman with the red hair and the blue dress, not knowing that somewhere in London his mother was thinking of him too.

* * *

**Thanks for reading this random piece of randomness that randomly fell out of my mind. Please tell me what you think, and I'll probably update again soon, picking up where the last chapter left off. :D**


	24. You play this part and the show goes on

**Good evening, children! I bring you another chapter to Light Up The Sky and I hope you all like it.**

* * *

_Tear this place apart until you find me hiding, silently I wait_  
_You'll be excited just to see me someday, everything's okay_  
_Summer and gold, throw their colors at the dark_  
_A mother tells her son, "darling look at the sparks"_  
_And if I ever catch the ones who hurt you,_  
_I'm hoping that God looks away this time_

* * *

"Where is he?"

"I'll never tell."

There was a long, guttural moan of pain.

"Again: where is he?"

"Piss off, you dirty mudblood!"

Then there was a high pitched wail of agony.

"It will only get worse if you continue to not answer me," Lily grabbed Bellatrix's face with one hand and pinched down hard on the woman's jaw. "So, where is Harry?"

Bellatrix chose to spit in Lily's face instead of anwering. In one swift movement, Lily grabbed her by the neck and flung her to the floor.

"Crucio!" Lily hissed.

Bellatrix writhed in pain, her back arching off the floor, limbs twisting and contorting as she screamed. Lily lowered her wand; the curse stopped abruptly. She opened her mouth to speak but whatever she had been going to say was cut off by a sudden crash from another room and a bunch of shouting voices.

Lily paused and listened.

"-said it should be around here somewhere, in a cabinet guarded by only a few minor protections, Yaxley's working on 'em right now-"

"Shut up, you imbecile! Do you want the whole hospital to hear you?"

"By shouting, you're being louder than I am!"

"All of you shut up! I'm trying to look for it."

_Death Eaters, _Lily thought. _Those are Death Eaters. They're looking for something in a cabinet that's guarded with a few protections..._

Bellatrix's eyes widened when she realized who the voices belonged to. She opened her mouth to scream for help but before any noise could escape her mouth, Lily muttered, "Silencio!" Bellatrix continued trying to scream in vain, her mouth stretched wide open but nothing coming out.

"Maybe it'll be in this room here..." a raspy voice said as the sound of approaching footsteps came from behind the door.

Lily looked around frantically, trying to think of a plan as fast as she could. She quickly decided on grabbing Bellatrix by the legs and dragging her to one of the beds before shoving her under there and out of sight. Then once Bellatrix was completely hidden, Lily climbed under the next bed and laid flat on her stomach just as the door burst open.

"Hmm," a dark male voice said. "Could there be anything in here?"

"I don't see a cabinet anywhere." the raspy voice said. "It's supposed to be in a cabinet."

"That's true." the dark voice said and Lily saw the man's feet near the door; he was wearing black boots. The booted feet took a few heavy steps into the room, coming closer and closer to the bed Lily was hiding beneath. "But we might as well look around a bit, just in case..." She covered her mouth to muffle the sound of her heavy breathing and tried to stay still, her heart pounding against the cold floor.

_I can't be caught. If I'm caught, I'll be killed, and if I'm killed I won't be able to protect Harry. _Lily squeezed her eyes shut tight and started praying to a god she barely believed in. _Dear god...please, let Harry be somewhere close, so as soon as I get out of this room, I can find him quickly. Please._

"Redler," said the raspy voice. "We're wasting time. Let's go."

"Just a moment, Greyback." the voice of Ragus Redler said sharply. "I thought I smelled something."

"Smelled what?" Fenrir Greyback asked.

"Fear."

_Fenrir Greyback and Ragus Redler, _Lily thought, a cold tremor of dread shooting down her spine. _They're werewolves. And they attack children. They attack children. They attack CHILDREN. _She decided to cancel the last prayer she made and quickly made a new one. _God, I changed my mind. Please let Harry be somewhere very, very far away. _

She closed her eyes and was overcome with so much worry she felt like she was going to be physically sick, all of the stories she'd ever heard about Fenrir Greyback and Ragus Redler coming to her mind.

Just last year Ragus Redler slaughtered an entire orphanage of children. But he didn't kill them right away. He toyed with them first; made them watch as he killed all the adults, then he scratched them up a bit, chased them around, before devouring them one by one. There had only been one survivor: a young boy who told the Aurors who rescued him about how Redler pinned him down, raked open his chest, clawed up his back, and actually _kissed him, _before trying to bite his neck open.

Lily's insides squirmed with horror and disgust and she suddenly forgot all about what Bellatrix had done to Harry. She was too focused on what Redler and Greyback _could _do.

She watched as their feet moved away from the bed and back towards the door. Then, with extreme carefulness, she peaked out from under the bed and made sure they had their backs to her. With her wand held in front of her, she silently crept out, pointed her wand at Greyback and shouted, "Stupefy!"

The stunner spell hit him successfully; he dropped to the floor with a thud. But then Redler wheeled around and fixed his eyes on her with a grim smile. His lips curled up from his jagged teeth in an amused way, like a cat discovering a sneaky mouse.

"Well, well, well," He sneered. "What do we have here?"

She raised her wand, but before she could curse him he grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her. The room soared by before she crashed into the wall, her head hitting with a crack, making stars spin in front of her eyes. She slumped down to the floor and coughed violently, the wind knocked clean out of her. Her wand had flipped from her fingers and landed a few feet away.

"What were you doing hiding in here, little girl?" Redler advanced on her slowly, a grin spreading across his sallow face.

"I'm not a little girl." She meant to say this loudly and defiantly, but due to the lack of air in her lungs it came out sounding like a scared croak. Behind her back, her hands grappled for her wand, and she hoped he wouldn't notice.

He chuckled and said, "Oh, but that doesn't answer my question."

Without warning, he seized her by the shoulders and yanked her to her feet, holding her at arm's length, studying her face. Lily noticed how creepy he looked, how unhealthy. His skin had a grayish tinge and his eyes were darker than the night sky. He had an ageless appearance; he could have been anywhere between twenty five and fifty, the scars on his face and the gray streaks in his otherwise blonde hair made it hard to tell.

"You look a bit familiar," He said. "Where have I seen those pretty eyes before?"

"You must have met her child," came the voice of Bellatrix Lestrange, startling Lily so badly she jumped. Bellatrix had crawled out from beneath the bed somehow and was climbing to her feet. She tried to walk towards Redler but her legs collapsed beneath her and she fell to the floor. "Filthy mudblood did something to my legs."

"How did that happen?" Redler asked curiously.

"She tortured me." Bellatrix mumbled.

"How did you break the binding spell?" Lily cried.

"The Dark Lord has taught me many incredible things, foolish girl, things your puny mind couldn't possibly imagine; one of those things being how to break through an immobility spell. All it takes is a little patience and concentration, which you obviously lack." Bellatrix said from the floor.

"Why would she torture you?" Redler grinned in amusement.

"It's none of your concern, you stupid half-breed." Bellatrix snapped.

Redler's eyes narrowed and his lips curled into a snarl. Bellatrix recoiled, flinching at the anger on his face.

"I - I know where her son is, but I won't tell her." Bellatrix answered hurriedly, evidently afraid of him.

"A son, you say?" Redler turned back to Lily, looking interested. There was a greedy look in his eyes as his tongue flicked over his lips.

"Let go of me!" Lily tried to jerk her arms out of his grip with no success.

"You think you can fight me off?" He leered. "You might have been able to take down Greyback, but you won't be able to take _me_ down. And speaking of Greyback, was there a specific reason for why you stunned him? You could have stunned either of us, but you chose him. Was it just random, or was there a personal reason? There usually is."

"Fenrir Greyback turned my friend into a werewolf." Lily spat.

"Fenrir Greyback turned your friend?" Redler repeated with a grin. "I turned Fenrir Greyback."

Then he gave her a hard shove and she hit the wall again, her head throbbing painfully. Redler turned on his heel and made his way for the door.

"WAIT!" Bellatrix shrieked. "I can't walk. You must help me."

"Sorry, can't." Redler said with a smile. "Important business the Dark Lord needs taken care of."

"I know that, you dolt! The Dark Lord wanted me to carry out the mission!" Bellatrix yelled. "If you don't take me with you, he'll be angry!"

"You want me to drag your useless, injured self along with me, which could potentially slow me down and be an inconvenience to the Dark Lord's plan? No, I don't think I'll do that. I don't think the Dark Lord would want me to do that, either." He said. "I'll just leave you here with the mudblood and let you two fight out your problems. The outcome could be interesting." With his hand on the doorknob, he looked at Lily and said, "It was a pleasure meeting you, ginger. I do hope I get the pleasure of meeting your son. I just hope he's as good looking as you are."

"YOU WON'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR HIM!" Lily screamed.

But with a slam of the door, he was gone, leaving Lily seething on the floor. She grabbed her wand and started to heal the throbbing bruises at the back of her head while Bellatrix tried to stand up in vain.

"Just wait until I can stand up, mudblood." Bellatrix hissed. "Just wait until I get my wand."

"Silencio!" Lily said, silencing Bellatrix at once. Then she quickly muttered, "Incarcerous," tying Bellatrix up again. She dragged the woman over to a closet at the side of the room and shoved her in there before slamming the door and locking it. "That should keep you for a while."

Then Lily ran from the room and followed the sound of shouting voices down the hall. She didn't have much of a plan and she had no idea what she was going to do, but one thing was for sure: Ragus Redler was _not_ getting anywhere near Harry.

* * *

Minerva McGonagall was thoroughly and utterly shocked. Never in her life had she found herself at such a loss for words, not even when she discovered James Potter and Sirius Black attached a rope to his motorbike and tied it onto a branch of the Whomping Willow so it could pull them around. Not even when Professor Flitwick accidentally drank a forgetfulness potion and walked into the great hall in nothing but his undergarments, having forgot to put on clothes. Nothing could compare to this dark-haired, green-eyed marvel that sat in the chair in front of her.

"How did you survive?" McGonagall asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Harry shrugged.

"Forgive me for being so - so blatantly honest, but everyone thought you were murdered when you were a baby." She dabbed at the corner of her eye with a wad of tissue. "We thought You-Know-Who wanted to kill you."

"He did want to," Harry said. "But Bellatrix convinced him not to."

"Bellatrix Lestrange?" McGonagall said. "Why would she do such a thing? She's not the merciful type, I can't imagine her feeling sorry for a baby, especially a half-blood."

"She wanted to raise me to be a Junior Death Eater, with the others." Harry said.

Understanding dawned on McGonagall's face before horror flashed in her eyes.

"She raised you?" McGonagall asked, although it was more of a statement than a question.

Harry nodded.

"Oh dear," She clasped her hand over her mouth as all sorts of horrific thoughts about what Harry must have endured came flooding to her mind. "But you're not like them, are you? No, of course not. You have your mother's eyes. Certainly you have her heart as well."

"I hope so." Harry said.

McGonagall smiled and it really did change her whole face. It made her seem less like a stern teacher and more like a caring grandmother.

"Just by saying that I can tell that you're like her." She said kindly. "But you haven't met her yet?"

Harry shook his head.

"Well, perhaps after this - this _mess _is cleaned up at St. Mungo's, you could meet her." McGonagall said.

"I want to meet her more than anything." Harry said, then blushed. "I just...don't know how she'll react to me."

"Oh, I don't think anyone knows how she'll react," She paused for a moment, fixed her eyes on the door behind Harry and seemed to think about it for a moment. "She will, without a doubt, hug you. And once she hugs you, I don't think she'll ever let go, so you'd better be prepared for spending the rest of your life in her arms."

Harry laughed, although the idea wasn't unappealing to him. The thought of being held by his mother for the first time in his life - or at least, the first time he could remember - made the butterflies in his stomach restless. He wanted to see her so badly and he barely knew what she looked like, he only had the memory of someone else's memory that happened 12 years ago, and she might even look different now. But what she looked like didn't really matter to him. He wouldn't have cared if she looked like a troll. He just missed her terribly and he barely knew anything about her. It never even occurred to him how much he'd always wanted to have a real mother. That desire for a mother's love had always been buried deep down inside of him. He supposed he did that on purpose, so Bellatrix wouldn't find out and use it to manipulate him, or maybe so he wouldn't have to think about it; the desire for a mother's love is particularly painful when your mother is dead.

But now that he knew she wasn't dead, all of these feelings were bubbling up to the surface, making him antsy and anxious.

"What's happening at St. Mungo's?" Harry asked. "Did anyone tell you?"

"I'm afraid you know more than I do." McGonagall frowned. "I sent a note to Professor Dumbledore but he isn't here at the castle. He's gone out on important business."

"Where'd he go?" Harry asked.

"Harry, I am probably Professor Dumbledore's closest friend and colleague, and I am quite proud to say I know more about him than anyone," She said. "But there are so many things about him I don't even know. He's a mystery. A genius, of course, but quite a big mystery."

"What if my Dad or Tonks got hurt?" Harry said worriedly, craning his neck to look at the clock. "They've been gone for almost an hour."

"Well, you couldn't possibly expect them to return in less than an hour, could you? I'm sure they'll both be fine." She said, but by the troubled look on Harry's face, he was not reassured.

"I should go find them." Harry said.

"Absolutely not!" She said sternly. "Do not even _consider _trying to go find them! I don't know what's happening, but whatever it is, it is far too dangerous for a boy young as yourself to get caught up in."

But Harry wasn't listening to her. He was staring out the window behind her head, looking across the sloping grounds to where two small figures were climbing up a small hill towards the front of the castle. Looking closely, Harry realized who one of the figures were.

"Mile!" He cried.

"Pardon?" McGonagall looked around to see who he was staring at. She squinted through her glasses and said, "Is that Rufus Scrimgeour I see down there?"

Before she could do or say anything more, Harry pulled the Invisibility Cloak from his pocket, threw it over himself and ran from the room.

"Harry! Stop this instant!" She shouted after him

He could hear her hurried footsteps coming after him, but by the time she reached the corridor, he was already flying down the stairs two steps at a time. It was hard for him to figure out where he was going since Hogwarts changed its stairways around, but he eventually made it down to the entrance hall just as the door was opening.

"So this is Hogwarts. Never thought I'd see the day-" Mile's voice echoed through the hall.

"Mile!" Harry shouted.

Mile and Scrimgeour stopped and looked around in every direction. Harry pulled the cloak off of himself and ran forward.

"Mile, did you get the horcrux?" Harry panted.

"Yeah, I've got it right here." Mile said, taking it out of his pocket.

"Good, well, we've got to go to St. Mungo's." Harry said hurriedly. "Or at least I do. You can stay here if you want, but I've got to-"

"Hang on," Rufus Scrimgeour said, stepping forward and grabbing Harry by the shoulder. "You're the Potter boy."

"I guess so."

"How can this be? They killed you."

"No they didn't."

"No, but they _did._"

"Then how am I here right now?"

"I don't bloody know, but they certainly killed you."

"We haven't got time for this!" Harry looked at Mile and said, "Mile, I'm going to St. Mungo's. _Now._ Are you coming? You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean, it's probably dangerous."

"I'm in." Mile said.

"Wait," Scrimgeour said, looking at Mile in alarm. "If it's dangerous then - then I don't think you should -"

"What are you trying to say?" Mile asked, confused.

"Dear lord, I've got no idea." Scrimgeour looked quite baffled. "I just - I just don't think it would be _prudent_ for you to go."

"It's only been a few hours and you're already looking out for me, Pop!" Mile punched his father's arm with a grin.

"That's not necessarily - well, I just -" Scrimgeour looked back at Harry and changed the subject. "Why are you going to St. Mungo's? Why would it be dangerous?"

"There are Death Eaters there, I think. And I don't know for sure what's going on but my Mum is there and my Dad went to go find her with Tonks." Harry said. "We've got to go _now_!"

"How would we get there?" Mile asked. "Apparition?"

"I guess so." Harry said.

"Where in St. Mungo's are we going?" Scrimgeour said. "We've got to plan this out, we've got to have strategy, we've can't just rush in there and go crazy."

"You're coming with us?" Harry asked.

"Well, of course. I'm head of the Auror department. If there are Death Eaters at St. Mungo's, it's my duty to stop this." Scrimgeour said. "Now, about developing a plan-"

'There's no time for plans." Harry said. "We just need to go in there, find some Death Eaters, hex them or something, and then -"

"You are just like your father." Scrimgeour groaned exasperatedly.

Harry beamed with pleasure.

* * *

Once the Aurors all grabbed their wands (and found one for Remus to use), they rushed upstairs with Sirius in the lead. Startled Healers and patients jumped out of the way as they flew past before running back to their respective wards and shutting all the doors, having quickly figured out that something bad was happening. Once they reached the fifth landing on the stairwell, they stopped.

"Kingsley, Takashi, Maran, wait on the landing below in case anything goes wrong. If you hear something suspicious, if we yell for help, or if any of us scream in pain, come up." Sirius said.

The other Aurors all crept into the fifth floor corridor. There were low voices and rustling sounds coming from a room nearby. The Aurors moved closer and listened.

"Did you get all the protections down? Can you open the cabinet now?" a low voice mumbled from inside.

"Maybe..." another answered.

"Try it! _Now,_ you idiots!" snapped a harsh male voice.

Remus' face blanched.

"What is it, Moony?" Sirius whispered. "The person who just spoke - is that Greyback?"

"No. It's not Greyback..." Remus said, his wide eyes fixed on the door.

"Then who?" Paleski asked.

"I don't know, I've only heard that voice on a recording before. _If _it's the same person..." Remus said quietly. "But it just _can't _be, could it?"

"Who the bloody hell do you think it is, Remus? Spit it out." Flaherty said.

"Well, remember when I had to go undercover in London and work for those muggle detectives who were investigating the slaughter of that orphanage? And how they captured the suspect and interrogated him, before he escaped from their jail..."

"You don't mean -"

"Ragus Redler." Remus whispered. "When they interrogated him, they recorded it and kept it on file. I listened to all of the recordings. That's the voice I heard, the person who just spoke. That has to be Ragus Redler in there...but it can't be."

"Oh, but it is." The door banged open and they all jumped back, raising their wands, when a sallow-skinned man with gray-streaked blonde hair appeared before them, grinning evilly. Before anyone could do a thing, he grabbed Paleski by the neck and dragged him forward. "Now, no one make a move or I'll claw open your friend's throat."

"Damn." Sirius muttered.

Yaxley and Macnair appeared in the doorway behind Redler with their wands aimed at the Aurors.

"Is that it?" Sirius scoffed. "Just those two? Those are the only ones backing you up?"

"No, I heard Greyback!" Remus said. "I know I did!"

"Greyback is a bit unconscious at the moment, not that it matters." Redler said carelessly. "And the number of Death Eaters here with me doesn't matter either, because you're not going to fight me or I'll squeeze the life out of your friend's neck," Redler tightened his grip on Paleski to prove his point. "Or maybe I'll eat him."

"What do you want?" Flaherty demanded. "Why are you here?"

"And where's James? If you've kidnapped him, I swear to god-" Sirius clenched his fists.

"None of you are in a position to ask questions." Redler dug his nails deeper into Paleski's throat until he gasped in pain. The other Aurors flinched and lowered their wands by a few inches. "Good job. You are only a little bit smarter than you look. Now drop your wands."

"No!" They all said at once.

Redler forced Paleski to his knees and began strangling him with two hands, making Paleski's eyes bulge out of his head as he struggled to breathe.

"Now, let me repeat myself: drop your wands." Redler demanded.

With a bit of reluctance, they dropped their wands simultaneously, their stomachs sinking with dread and fear as they were rendered defenseless. Moody would not have been proud at their lack of vigilance. If only they hadn't eavesdropped and chatted outside the door for so long; they wouldn't have been caught...

"Tie them up." Redler ordered.

"Mobilicorpus!" Yaxley and Macnair said as they tied up Sirius, Remus, Flaherty and Paleski one by one. The Aurors dropped to the floor, the ropes binding their limbs together.

"Now drag them in here."

And then, as if invisible hooks had been attached to their clothes, they were dragged across the floor and into the room, the door slamming shut behind them.

_It's alright, it's alright, _Sirius tried to remain calm although he and his friends had just been tied up and dragged into a room by two Death Eaters and the cleverest, most vicious werewolf who ever lived.  
_Kingsley and the others will have heard the commotion, they'll come running to save us._

"Now, gentlemen, if you don't mind, I'll have to get back to work. There's a horcrux the Dark Lord needs returned to him." Redler looked at Yaxley and barked, "Well? What are you waiting for? Get that cabinet open."

But as the minutes passed and the Death Eaters worked on opening the cabinet until the magical padlock finally clicked and the doors swung open, Kingsley and the others did not come for them.

* * *

Lily ran down the hall, her feet pounding loudly against the floor, hair swinging behind her in a red blur. There was a door at the very end of the hall where the voices were coming from, but before she was even halfway there, a door opened on her left and a woman stepped out, blocking Lily's path, making her skid to a stop and nearly fall to her knees.

The woman was Serina Davis, a new Healer who'd just transferred to St. Mungo's about a month ago. She and Lily hadn't gotten along too well in their short time knowing each other. Sirena was blatantly rude, hated house elves (along with many other things), and was always giving Lily looks of contempt and scorn.

"Serina, what are you doing here?" Lily asked. Then she said, "No, I don't even care, just get out of my way-"

Lily tried to move around her, but Serina moved with her and blocked her path. Lily tried to step around her again but Serina stepped to the side and stood in her way once more.

"What are you doing?" Lily snapped.

But when Serina raised her wand, Lily knew. And she was ready.

"Protego!" Lily cried, blocking what could have been a very dangerous curse.

"Sectumsempra!" Serina shouted, but Lily ducked out of the way just in time.

"Expelliarmus!" Lily said, knocking Serina's wand out of her hand. "Locomotor Mortis!"

Serina dropped to the floor, her legs locked together. Lily knelt before her, grabbed her arm and pushed up her sleeve, checking for the Dark Mark. But there wasn't one.

_She's been Imperiused, _Lily realized. She picked up the woman's wand, stowed it up her sleeve and looked around nervously, as if another Imperiused person was going to ambush her out of nowhere. And she was right to be nervous: another Healer, a woman named Alexandra Skye, ran out of the same room Serina had come out of, and this time Lily knew right away that this woman was Imperiused. Her eyes were empty and cold and her hand was gripping her wand tightly, prepared to fight.

"Expelliarmus!" Alexandra said before Lily could.

Lily's wand was knocked out of her hand and bounced off of the wall.

"Locomotor Mortis," Alexandra said, binding Lily's legs together. Then with a wave of her wand, Lily was dragged across the floor by an invisible force and into the room Alexandra had come out of.

It was an old, unused emergency ward, filled with empty beds, stacks of boxes and broken potion vials. A man sat at an old desk at the other side of the room, his eyes devoid of any emotion as he stared at the wall in front of him. _He's been Imperiused, too, _Lily thought. _It's almost as if everyone here has been Imperiused..._

As soon as the invisible force stopped dragging her and let her leg's flop down to the floor, Lily reached up her sleeve and pulled out Serina's wand, extremely glad she'd decided to take it.

"Finite incantatem!" Lily unlocked her legs so she was able to move again. She jumped to her feet, raised her wand at Alexandra, and another duel began.

* * *

"Where would they be?" James asked Tonks as they wandered through an empty corridor. "St. Mungo's is massive, there's so many different rooms and halls."

"Er, I'm not completely sure, James." Tonks admitted.

"You're a Hufflepuff! You should be able to find them!" James said. "Upstairs, downstairs, which is it?"

"Well, the commotion started near McNaughton's room on the third floor." Tonks said. "Let's try the east wing first, and ask any Healers we see on our way. But if there really is something going on, everything will probably be on lockdown, so we might not run into anyone." Tonks took a look around at the empty hall and said, "I wouldn't be surprised if everything was on lockdown already. Look at this place, there's no one around! All the doors are shut!"

"Who cares about that right now? We've got to find Lily! Let's go!" James pulled on Tonk's arm and started to dash up the stairwell.

But then someone appeared at the top of the stairs, blocking their way. It was a dark-haired man James had seen around before; he worked in an office near Lily's. But there was something wrong with him. His eyes were glassy and blank, and he had a dangerously tight grip on his wand.

"Um, James," Tonks said. "I think this guy might be a problem."

The man raised his wand; James and Tonks raised theirs, but before either of them could do anything, the stairwell was plunged into darkness.

* * *

"McNaughton's room is in this hall," Scrimgeour announced to Mile and Harry after they'd Apparated to St. Mungo's and climbed a few flights of stairs. He led them toward a half-open door and said, "Yes, this room here. Everyone should be in here..."

But when they entered the room, it was empty except for McNaughton who was sitting up in his bed, looking distraught. When he saw them come in, his expression changed to relief. Then when his eyes fixed on Harry, a look like triumph crossed over his features.

"Where is everyone?" Scrimgeour demanded.

McNaughton waved his hands around wildly.

"Why can't you talk? What's over your mouth?" Scrimgeour asked. When McNaughton didn't answer, he sighed and said, "Come on, you two, we'd better find everyone ourselves. We've already been downstairs, so if something is happening, it's probably happening a few floors up. Let's try the fifth or sixth floor first."

They dashed down the hall to the stairwell and ran up quickly. But when they reached the fourth landing, they stopped. Lying on the floor were three bodies.

"Shacklebolt!" Scrimgeour dropped to his knees. "Maran! Takashi!"

"Are they Aurors?" Harry asked.

Scrimgeour nodded, looking over the bodies. Each of the Aurors had patches of blood blooming on their shirts.

"They're – they're breathing." He said. "But they've been cursed. They need help immediately." Scrimgeour looked at Harry and said, "You. Run downstairs and find a Healer, any Healer, and bring them up here. Hurry!"

Harry nodded, pulled out his wand and ran back downstairs to the third floor, hoping he could find someone in time. But when he reached the bottom of the stairs, it all went black, and in a brief moment of panic, Harry wondered if he'd gone blind or if he'd fainted. But he soon figured out that the lights had gone out. Every single light.

Screams of terror and panic from the patients pierced the silence from behind closed doors, echoing through the halls and chilling Harry's blood. Moments later, blue emergency torches lit up one by one along the walls, casting rings of ghostly light on the floor beneath them.

He moved through the near-darkness, the dark windows over the doors looming above him like the eyes of monsters, making him feel like people were watching him. He was shaking and terrified and wanted his Dad so much, but he couldn't allow himself to think that way, he couldn't allow himself to be a coward, not with three people bleeding to death upstairs and in need of his help. So he pushed his fears aside and tried the knobs of all the doors, trying to get inside the dark rooms. But all of the doors were locked.

"Hello?" Harry called out. "I need a Healer! There are three Aurors upstairs, they were cursed and they're bleeding and really need help!"

Only silence met his ears.

"Please!" Harry shouted. "_Anyone!"_

It was as if everyone in the hospital had vanished, like all of the patients who'd screamed a minute ago had disappeared, leaving behind nothing but darkness and locks on all of the doors. The hallway seemed to get narrower and narrower and the torches seemed to get dimmer, and Harry tried very hard to remain calm.

Tears of fear threatened to spill from his eyes; he blinked them away, took a deep breath and continued making his way down the hall, desperately trying all of the doors to see if anyone of them would open. After minutes of this, he eventually realized that he probably would not find a Healer and almost considered going to another floor. But then a voice broke the silence.

"Harry? Is that you?"

Relief greater than anything filled up in Harry's chest when he looked behind him and saw Tonks standing there.

"Tonks!" He ran over to her. "Tonks, where's my Dad?"

She frowned.

"I don't know, Harry, we got separated on the stairs, there was this strange man who might have been Imperiused and -"

"You don't know?" Harry repeated, feeling his insides turn to ice. "So – so he could be hurt?"

"Don't worry, Harry. I'm sure he's fine." Tonks said unconvincingly. "Was that you I heard yelling?"

"There are three Aurors upstairs who've been cursed, they might be pleading to death." Harry said. "They need help _fast."_

Tonks' eyes widened in horror.

"What do they look like?" She seized his arm. "Do you know their names?"

"Er – Shacklebolt, Takashi and Maran, I think."

Tonks appeared to be relieved, but then looked a bit guilty about it and tried to cover it up.

"Alright, let's go find a Healer and then -" Tonks stopped speaking suddenly as her eyes narrowed angrily. "Wait a second! What are you even _doing_ here? How did you get here? You were supposed to stay at Hogwarts! Merlin, Harry, you could be killed! It's so dangerous! One of the Healers has been Imperiused, there are probably loads more like that! Get out of here, Harry!"

"I can't!" Harry said. "I can't leave without my parents!"

Tonks' expression softened a bit.

"Harry, I know, I understand, but -"

"No, you _don't_ understand, Tonks!" He said. "We have to get a Healer for those Aurors, and then you've got to help me find my Mum and Dad!"

"You shouldn't worry about your Dad, he probably isn't too far behind me. It's your Mum we need to find." Tonks said honestly. "And I'll help you, alright? I will. But you've _got_ to be absolutely careful! Stay behind me at all times, alright? Don't talk to anyone and don't enter a room without me clearing it first." Then she asked, "Are you here with anyone else?"

"Rufus Scrimgeour and my friend Mile."

"Scrimgeour is here?"

"Yeah, he sent me down here to find a Healer. He's upstairs with Mile and the three injured Aurors."

"He sent _you? _Why on earth would he do that? It's dangerous for you to be down here alone, surely he knows that!"

"Well, Mile is his son, so I doubt he'd risk his own son getting hurt."

"What?" Tonks cried. "But how – no, never mind, I won't even ask. It can wait until later." She raised her wand, took Harry by the arm and said, "Let's go find a Healer, _fast. _Then we'll find your Mum." Then she sighed and mumbled, "You should have followed your Dad's orders."

"I tried but I got bored."

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Please review.**

**And oh my god, Deathly Hallows comes out tonight. I am beyond stoked, aren't you?  
**

**Tootles!**


	25. You've come this far with a broken heart

**Why hello there, readers! I would just like to say that Deathly Hallows was the most boss movie EVER and I hope you all saw it and thought the same. I was surprised by how much humor there was in it. "Engorgio - REDUCIO!" Nuff said. Okay I will stop prattling and let you read.**

* * *

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers_  
_Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters_  
_The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress_  
_Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest_  
_The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound_  
_I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground_  
_A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night _  
_May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright_

* * *

After successfully stunning Alexandra and taking her wand, Lily went into the corridor - only to discover that it was pitch black, except for the dim light of the one blue emergency torch at the end of the hall, right by the room she left Bellatrix tied up in. There were no cracks of light peaking out from beneath the doors. She must not have noticed all the lights went out sooner because the lights in that old room already were out.

She listened hard for the sound of voices from down the hall, but she heard nothing. Surely if the Death Eaters were down there, she'd hear them whispering at least? But no, there were absolutely no sounds coming from that room. It was like they'd disappeared. And even if they were still there, could Lily fight them in the dark? She couldn't cast a 'lumos' spell while firing curses at Death Eaters. And what would be the point, anyway? Those Death Eaters wouldn't know where Harry was. _Bellatrix_ would. If the Death Eaters were up to something, Lily should leave that to the Aurors. On any other day she would try to help, but she didn't care right just then. She had her _son _to worry about.

"Lumos," She muttered, light bursting out from the tip of her wand and illuminating the area around her. She tiptoed down the hall towards the room she left Bellatrix in, the shadows dancing around her, making her think each one was a Death Eater or an Imperiused Healer. She finally found the right door and pulled it open; it creaked loudly in the silent hallway. After stepping over the stiff, unmoving body of Fenrir Greyback, she crept towards the closet door, held her wand aloft, and pulled it open. Bellatrix, who'd been leaning against the door, tipped over onto her side on the floor, her black eyes looking like gaping, empty sockets in the darkness. Lily dragged the woman to the middle of the room and unsilenced her by saying, "Finite incantatem."

Bellatrix gasped hoarsely, her voice returned to her at last. She opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Lily:

"The next words from your mouth better be: 'I'll tell you where Harry is.'"

"You're so naive." Bellatrix smiled in amusement. "Didn't I say before that I'd never tell you? I'm not afraid of you." Then she yelled, "YAXLEY! MACNAIR! REDLER! HELP!"

Lily quickly cast a silencing charm over the door to stop any noise from entering or escaping. Then she knelt down on the floor, bringing her face close to Bellatrix's.

"You don't know what I'm capable of because you don't know what it means to be a mother. Your existence is fueled off of hatred. That's just who you are, right down to your cold, vile core: you are evil and your soul is just _stained _with innocent blood. You don't know what love is, you've never seen it, never felt it, you couldn't recognize it came up to you and bashed you over the head, because every fiber of your being is full of hate. But see, I'm the opposite of you. I love Harry _so much,_ it consumes me, even after these twelve long years. I love him now as much as I loved him the day he was born and there is nothing anyone can do that will change it, because he is a part of me, the most important part, and I'd do _anything _for him, including torture, despite the fact that I'd vowed I'd never do that. So if you're planning on keeping this up and refusing to tell me where he is, then you should just know that I love Harry more than you hate everything, and that makes me stronger than you."

"How touching," Bellatrix feigned a yawn. "But did that speech have a point?"

"Yes, the point was: I'M NOT A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH, YOU EVIL BITCH, NOW WHERE IS MY SON?"

* * *

"Master will be most pleased with us." Yaxley snickered as he, Macnair and Redler crept down the dark hallway, holding the cup of Helga Hufflepuff in his hands. "It didn't even take us too long to unlock the protections on that cabinet."

"And those idiotic Aurors are still up there," Macnair snickered. "I wonder how long it'll be before someone finds them?"

"They'll have starved to death before someone does find them, no one ever goes up there." Yaxley said.

"Quiet, idiots. Someone could hear you." Redler snapped.

"Who could hear us? This whole hospital is on lockdown, and Master has got most of the Healers Imperiused." Yaxley said. "And besides, we don't take orders from filthy half-breeds."

"Keep up that attitude and I'll tear out your throat. Or even better, I'll just scratch you up a bit to leave you alive but make you into a half-breed like me." Redler grinned viciously. "Then we can both be filthy together."

Yaxley's mouth snapped shut. Redler smiled in satisfaction. But then, out of nowhere, a sudden burst of red light cut through the darkness, hitting Yaxley in the chest, and he dropped to the floor, the horcrux cup slipping from his hands and bouncing off into the darkness.

"Who's there?" Redler snarled as Macnair raised his wand.

"Good seeing you, Redler," A bespectacled, dark-haired, somewhat young man emerged from the darkness with a casual air, as if he were approaching friends to chat about the weather. Then he casually said, "Expelliarmus," throwing Macnair's wand to the ground.

"I'll kill you, Potter!" Macnair snarled.

"Not today, you won't." James ducked down, and before Macnair or Redler saw it coming, he grabbed Helga Hufflepuff's cup from the floor and jumped back before either of them could grab him. Then he pulled a Deluminator from his pocket, clicked it three times until the blue torches had gone out, and disappeared into the dark.

"DAMN IT!" Redler roared. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, POTTER! YOU'LL PAY!"

"My mark," Macnair said from beside him. "It's burning."

Although they couldn't see each other, they both knew the expression on the other's face was one of fear and dread.

"What are we going to tell him?" Macnair muttered.

"Tell him we haven't unlocked the protections on the cabinet yet, but we will get around to it. Then we'll go find Potter and steal the horcrux back." Redler said.

"What if he knows we're lying? He'll kill us!"

"Not when all his other Death Eaters are in Azkaban and he's short-staffed." Redler chuckled.

Then they Disapparated to the old Riddle House. The room was dark, the wind howling outside and the floorboards groaned under Voldemort's weight as he crossed the room and stopped in front of them, the lantern on the floor casting a ghostly light across his snakelike features.

"Did you get it?" Voldemort demanded at once.

"No, not yet, my lord," Macnair said, his voice quivering. "But we are working on it."

"I have new orders for you. There's something you must do, before you retrieve my horcrux." Voldemort said. "One of my spies at Hogwarts, foolish little Professor Quirrell, tells me he overheard a conversation between our young Harry Potter, Mile, and Rufus Scrimgeour. Apparently Harry has headed to St. Mungo's. I want you find him, Redler, and I want you to kill him."

"Harry _Potter, _you say?" Redler asked, his lips curling into a foul smile. "Son of the Auror, James Potter?"

"Yes, and the mudblood, Lily Potter."

Redler thought of the pretty redheaded woman who'd tortured Bellatrix and stunned Greyback. A laugh escaped from his mouth before he could stop it.

"Oh, I'll kill the boy, alright, Master." Redler leaned down and kissed Voldemort's robes. "And I'll have fun with it."

"But before you go, Redler..." Voldemort said slowly. "There's someone I want you to take with you to St. Mungo's. Someone who might be able to help you find our young Harry."

Redler looked up as someone else appeared by Voldemort's side. It was a fourteen year old boy with brown hair, cruel eyes and a long line of scratches down his cheek.

"This is Kyro," Voldemort said. "Play nice, and try not to kill this one, Redler. You need him."

"Did a wolfy give you those scars?" Redler asked Kyro, looking at the scratches on the boy's cheek.

"No. A dog." Kyro said stiffly.

"That's enough chatter. Get going." Voldemort said.

Redler, Macnair and Kyro all nodded and stood up, then Apparated back to St. Mungo's.

* * *

"So Dad, these are your friends?" Mile asked Scrimgeour, looking down at the Aurors on the floor.

"Not my _friends,_ exactly. And why are you calling me '_Dad'?_" Scrimgeour said.

"Because you're my Dad."

"No, I'm not."

"Are we still arguing about this? I thought it's been established that Marie is my mother and you are my father."

"You didn't even _know_ Marie!" Scrimgeour snapped.

"Well, of course I didn't. She died when I was a baby, didn't she?" Mile said. "And I don't think Mum would be too happy about you being so cold to me, dearest Father."

Scrimgeour sighed and tried to steer the conversation to less hostile direction.

"So...your friend is Harry Potter." He said awkwardly.

"Potter? So that's Harry's surname? How odd, to think of him as Harry _Potter._ All this time I've thought of him as Harry Mendacium." Mile said thoughtfully. "'Harry Potter' does sound better, I'll admit. Has more of a ring to it. Mendacium just sounded odd."

"I don't understand how this is possible. You-Know-Who was supposed to kill that boy when he was a year old." Scrimgeour said.

"Oh, yes!" Mile chortled. "A story Bellatrix loves to tell at weddings, funerals and - _hey!" _He suddenly stood up. "A Healer!"

At the bottom of the stairs, illuminated by the glow of his wand, was a male Healer. At the sound of Mile's voice, he looked up, startled.

"Oi! We need some help up here!" Mile said loudly. "There are three blokes bleeding to death."

The Healer ran up the stairs and knelt down on the landing, before the bodies of Shacklebolt, Maran and Takashi. He drew a small first aid kit out of the pocket of his robes and placed it on the floor.

"What happened?" The Healer asked.

"They were cursed by Death Eaters, we think." Scrimgeour said. "Heal them. Fast."

The Healer looked over their bloody chests, brow furrowing in confusion as he inspected the wounds.

"How odd." The Healer said.

"What?" Scrimgeour demanded. "What is it?"

"These wounds are very peculiar. They don't seem to be from a curse of any sort. A Cutting Curse would have made a bigger wound. But these aren't even _wounds, _really. They're just...small holes, like they were injected by needles. But there's an awful lot of blood, so it might have been a special needle, enchanted to increase the bleeding." The Healer explained. "Most Healers carry needles like that, in case they come across a patient who was bitten by a venomous creature. You see, if a person has poison or venom in their veins, there are certain needles that are used to make the person bleed out any toxins in their bloodstream."

"And _that's_ what happened to them?" Mile raised his eyebrows. "Why would the Death Eaters do that?"

"Maybe it wasn't Death Eaters," Scrimgeour said darkly. "Maybe it was done by Healers. _Imperiused _Healers."

The Healer's face blanched in horror.

"Oh no - what if - what if I'm Imperiused next?" He croaked.

"It doesn't matter, just heal these Aurors!" Mile said frustratedly.

"Alright, it's a very simple spell." The Healer raised his wand with a shaking hand and murmured an incantation. Then he reached into his first aid kit, retrieved a small vial of clear liquid and forced each of the three unconscious Aurors to drink from it.

Moments later, one by one, the Aurors opened their eyes. Kingsley sat up slowly, Maran gasped and jumped up in surprise, Takashi blinked around dazedly.

"What happened?" Kingsley asked calmly, looking down at his bloody shirt.

"We - we were attacked!" Maran said. "I remember what happened! These three Healers came out of nowhere and stabbed us with needles...but the others are missing. They're upstairs with the Death Eaters. We told them we'd come for them if they needed us...but..."

"Are you alright?" Scrimgeour asked. "Can you still fight?"

"Yeah, I think so..." Takashi said slowly.

"Then get up. Quickly. We have to find the others."

As Kingsley, Maran and Takashi slowly got to their feet, the Healer cried, "No, no, no! They just lost a lot of blood, they must be dizzy and disoriented, it isn't safe for them to be up and about! They need rest, and I should run a few tests on them -"

"In any other situation, I'd say yes to that. But there are Death Eaters in the building, and another group of Aurors are missing. We haven't got time to make sure anyone is okay." Scrimgeour said. "Now let's go."

"That's probably not such a good idea. What if they're fighting Death Eaters and they just keel over in the middle of a duel because of all the blood loss?" Mile said. "At least let this Healer make sure they're alright first."

Scrimgeour looked at Mile, then looked at the three Aurors who all looked a bit dizzy and still had patches of blood on their shirts.

"Alright, but make it _fast." _Scrimgeour said to the Healer. "Make sure they're in a good enough condition then send them back to me."

"I'm going to have to take them to a room downstairs." The Healer said. He looked at Takashi, Maran and Kingsley. "You three, follow me."

Holding onto the railing tightly, the three injured Aurors and the Healer descended the stairs into the heavy darkness until they saw the glowing blue torches of the corridor below. The Healer quickly ushered them over to a door before pulling out a set of keys and unlocking it. After ushering them all inside, he shut the door behind them.

"Now what do _we _do?" Mile asked Scrimgeour. "Where should we look for the others? Who are we even looking for?"

"There are some other Aurors - Black, Lupin, Flaherty and Paleski. McNaughton should be alright where he is, for now." Scrimgeour said. "Maran said the others are upstairs somewhere with Death Eaters. I'll go up and find them while you wait here for the Potter child to get back."

"No! If there's a fight, I'm coming!" Mile said.

"It's far too dangerous! And anyway, the boy is your friend, isn't he? You should wait for him."

"I'm right here!" a voice said from somewhere in the dark beside them, startling them both so much they jumped.

"Constant vigilance, Rufus." said the voice of Tonks as she popped out of nowhere, Harry by her side. "Moody wouldn't be proud."

"Where did you come from?" Scrimgeour asked.

"Never you mind. Harry and I found a Healer and told him to go find you so he could help Kingsley, Maran and Takashi. Did he find you? Did he heal them?" Tonks asked.

"Yes, he healed them already, but he's running a few tests on them right now to make sure they can fight." Scrimgeour said.

"Well, there's no use waiting around here anymore, is there?" Mile said. "Harry's here, there's no excuse for us to not go upstairs and fight!

"But it's _dangerous_ for children!" Scrimgeour protested.

"So? Mile and I fight all the time." Harry said. "Not _each other,_ I mean, but we fight the Death Eaters from time to time."

"Why?" Tonks asked. "Have they ever tried hurting you guys?"

"They never hurt _me, _but Harry gets hurt all the time for misbehaving." Mile said. "And since he's the youngest and therefore the smallest and most vulnerable, whenever Malfoy or Macnair is teaching us a new curse, they try to use Harry as the guinea pig, to show us what the effects of the curse are like."

"Oh my god! Are you serious?" Tonks cried, her eyes widening with horror as she grabbed Harry's arm. "They did that to you?"

"Well, they haven't done it in a while-" Harry said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, last year Macnair tried to use one of the arm-breaking curses on him, but Harry hexed the living daylights out of him and none of the Death Eaters ever tried using him as a guinea pig again." Mile laughed. "It was quite a sight. I didn't know there was such a hex that turned people's eyelids invisible, but apparently there is. And I had no idea it was possible to make a person's nose sprout arms and legs, but Harry teaches you something new every day."

Harry laughed, nodding in remembrance of what apparently was an amusing day for him, but sounded like a horrifying day to Tonks. She shuddered at what James and Lily's reactions to Harry being used like a guinea pig would be. She imagined there would be a lot of screaming and crying and eventually a Death Eater's head on a platter.

Suddenly, a door burst open behind them and Maran came running out.

"Hey guys!" He said excitedly. "That Healer guy said I'm healthy enough to fight. He still has to check up on Kingsley and Takashi, though, and that should take a while so we'd better go on without them and – whoa!"

Maran suddenly stopped talking when his eyes fell on Harry.

"What the – how come you – who – what?" He stammered, his dark eyes raking over Harry from head to toe. "What's going on? Who are you?"

"Harry." Tonks said. "That's Harry."

"But why does he look like –"

"Can we stop talking and get to work? The other Aurors could be getting killed upstairs right now." Scrimgeour groaned. "Alright, the two of you can come fight, but try not to get hurt. Mile..." Mile looked up in surprise when Scrimgeour said his name. It was the first time the man had ever spoken it. "I'm not good at saying things like this, but just please try not to get hurt...for me?"

"I'll try." Mile saluted him with a barely suppressed grin.

"And you," Scrimgeour said to Harry. "Don't get hurt. If you do, your father will likely kill me."

"No, Scrimgeour! How could you even agree to let them come fight with us? Especially Harry! He's too young! And even if Harry doesn't get hurt, James will still kill you! James is probably going to kill _me,_ just because Harry is here! If Harry even sets foot near a Death Eater, James will probably know because of some psychic father thing, and he'll come running to kill everyone except Harry, and then he'll throw Harry over his shoulder and run out of here-"

"Quite an imagination you have. But we've got no more time to discuss this. We're going upstairs. _Now._ Everyone get out your wands." Scrimgeour said.

Mile and Harry pulled their wands out of their sleeves eagerly while Tonks looked on in disapproval and shock.

"Alright, Maran, where are the others?" Scrimgeour asked.

"They went all the way upstairs to find the Death Eaters. We were supposed to meet them up there and come help them if anything went wrong." Maran said nervously. "I think they're on the fifth floor."

"Lead the way."

* * *

"Greyback, you idiot. Get up._ Enervate." _

Fenrir Greyback's eyes opened in a flash. Standing above him was a fourteen year old boy with angry red scars running down the length of his face and dark eyes narrowed in anger.

"Who stunned you?" Kyro spat.

Greyback opened his mouth to answer, but Kyro cut him off and said, "It doesn't matter. Quit lying around on the floor like a bloody sloth and make yourself useful. The Dark Lord gave me important orders and they won't be easy to achieve if I have to worry about imbeciles like you screwing things up with your laziness. Now go _do something." _

Then Kyro turned and hurried off into a stairwell, leaving Greyback alone.

_Well, _Greyback thought. _I might as well pick a fight with someone tasty while I'm here..._

After wandering down the hall, he saw a half-opened door to his right, a few heaps of still, unmoving bodies on the floor inside. He crept through the doorway and stepped around the bodies; discovering they were unconscious Aurors that had been tied up. He frowned. If they'd been tied up, that could mean they weren't meant to be killed yet. And they weren't children either, so there'd be no fun in biting them.

He was about to turn and leave before he recognized one of their faces.

Slumped on the floor by the wall was a man in his early thirties with light brown hair bearing the familiar gray streaks that typically came with the werewolf curse. The general shape of his face was familiar to Greyback, and after thinking about it for a few moments, he remembered who it was. Grinning with savage delight, Greyback cut open the cords that bound the unconscious man and shook him awake. The man's eyes opened and stared back up at him.

"Remus Lupin, what a lovely surprise." Greyback sneered.

Without a moment's hesitation, Remus jumped up and struck Greyback across the face.

"Oh, a fight is what you want?" Greyback smiled. "Good thing that's what I want too."

Greyback lunged forward, but Remus was quick; he dove onto the floor, grabbed his wand, raised it and shouted, "Impedimenta!"

"Haven't seen you in years," Greyback snickered after being knocked backward, raising his own wand. "You've gotten better at fighting."

"You've gotten uglier."

With a slash of his wand, Greyback sent a curse in Remus' direction, but Remus ducked just in time.

"Maybe I should bite some of your friends?" Greyback looked over the unconscious forms of Sirius, Flaherty and Paleski. "They could taste pretty good."

Remus quickly ran from the room with Greyback following behind.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you not want your friends to be like us?" Greyback asked, slashing his wand again.

Dodging the curse, Remus snarled, "'Like us'? There's no 'us.' I'm nothing like you."

"You're exactly like me. We're both creatures of the night. Animals. Better than wizards."

"No, you're a killer and you ruin lives. I'm an _Auror. _You and I are nothing alike!" Remus gave a short, humorless laugh and said, "I'm actually glad you decided to pick a fight with me."

"Why is that?" Greyback hissed, shooting curses off his wand left and right, but Remus kept deflecting them skillfully.

"I've been waiting for this day for years." Remus said. "The day I'll finally kill you."

"Revenge!" Greyback chuckled. "You're hellbent on revenge, I see now! But it is tragic how you spent your whole miserable life just waiting to kill me, but now you must realize that you can't!"

"I haven't spent every day of my life waiting to kill you. Believe it or not, there were times when I just didn't give a damn about you!" Remus shouted and ducked as a curse came soaring over his head. "But there was one day every month when I hated you more than anything, and I wanted nothing more than to just _kill you._ But it wasn't about revenge, never revenge. It wasn't so I could get some satisfaction for myself. It was just the thought of stopping you from inflicting this curse on any more innocent people - _that's _why I'm going to kill you. To protect others from you."

Then Greyback made a long gash in Remus' arm, ripping open his sleeve along with his skin, spilling blood everywhere.

"Just face it, boy!" Greyback grinned, eying Remus' blood greedily. "You can't kill me! _I'm _going to kill you! Then I'm going to eat you, and then I'll eat your friends!"

Remus' face contorted with anger and Greyback stopped to laugh, his wand lowering a fraction of an inch. Remus saw this as an opportunity. His stomach flipped in excitement, adrenaline rushed through him, and he felt like his heart was going to pound its way out of his chest as he pointed his wand at Greyback and said, "Avada Kedavra!"

There was the smallest fraction of a second when everything hung in the air, frozen in time, as Greyback's eyes widened in shock and he registered what was about to happen. But then the green beam of light crashed into his chest, wiping all traces of life and evil from his body until it was nothing but a cold, motionless shell, and fell to the floor with a thud.

Remus' feet were rooted to the spot, his heart beating so loudly in the silent corridor he felt like everyone in the world could hear it. His wand hung limp in his trembling hands. Fenrir Greyback lay spread-eagled on the floor a few feet away, dead.

_I killed Fenrir Greyback, _he realized. _I...killed...Fenrir Greyback._

At first he felt horror at what he'd done; he'd taken a human life. But then he remembered that this was an evil werewolf, a killing machine, who'd ruined and taken the lives of dozens of others, and Remus had been wanting to do this for almost his whole life. Every full moon he'd howl in pain as his bones broke and reformed themselves into the bones of a wolf, and he'd tear at his skin, his stomach churning with hunger for human flesh, and he'd just lay there on the floor of the Shrieking Shack and hate Fenrir Greyback, wanting to crush his existence and stop him from ruining anyone else's life like Remus' had been.

_I did it, _Remus told himself. _I killed him. He can't hurt anyone anymore. I killed him. I did it._

A hysterical laugh bubbled from his lips before he could stop it. He felt jittery and unstable, like a time bomb.

_I need chocolate. I need tea. I need...TO GET HELP FOR THE OTHERS! _He turned around quickly and ran for the stairs, taking them two at a time, until he reached the floor below. Everything was dark except for the blue glow from the torches on the walls. Every door along the corridor was closed, darkness behind their windows. All except for one.

One door in particular had a small beam of light spilling out from underneath, onto the hallway floor. Remus ran over and tried to open it but found it was locked.

"Open up! I need help!" He shouted, pounding his fists against it.

The door opened moments later; a Healer was looking at him curiously. Behind the Healer, sitting in beds along the wall, were Kingsley and Takashi.

"Remus?" Kingsley stood up. There was blood all over his shirt and a small bandage over his exposed chest. "What's wrong?"

"Sirius and Flaherty and Paleski are upstairs tied up, and the Death Eaters captured us earlier and they took a horcrux or something out of a cabinet up there, and then they left, but Greyback just came back and picked a fight with me, but that's okay 'cos I killed him, but the others - the others are still up there, they're unconscious. We gotta go get them!" Remus said hurriedly, panting and gasping for air.

"Wait, what?" Takashi asked, staring incredulously. "You killed Fenrir Greyback?"

"Yes but the others are up there still, we've got to go get them, and what happened to you two?" Remus asked. "Why didn't you come for us? Why are you all bloody?"

"We were attacked by Healers. Imperiused Healers." Takashi explained. "But we're fine now. We lost a lot of blood, though, so we're probably not good enough to fight yet. Maran didn't lose as much blood as us, though, and he was feeling much better than us, so he went off with Scrimgeour somewhere." Then his eyes bulged and he cried out, "Remus! Your arm!"

Everyone, including Remus, looked down at his arm in shock and horror. Blood was dripping down from under his ripped sleeve and was puddling on the white tile floor.

"Come over to a bed, quick!" The Healer grabbed his arm and pulled him towards a bed.

"I can't, I've got to get Sirius, he's still up there-"

"Scrimgeour will find him." Kingsley said. "Don't worry. We saw Scrimgeour just a few minutes ago, actually. You just missed him. He's probably on his way upstairs now."

"Hold still!" The Healer said, for Remus kept craning his neck to see the door. "No one is near the door! There's no point in looking over there! Stop moving, I'm trying to put these bandages on you. I've got to stop the bleeding. You took a bad blow from a Cutting Curse." The Healer looked to Kingsley and Takashi for help. "Could you try to settle him down for me?"

Takashi sighed and said, "I'll make some tea."

* * *

The last thing Sirius remembered before Yaxley knocked him and the others unconscious was Redler going around the room, pressing his hands against parts of the wall and stomping on parts of the floor like he was doing some sort of idiot tribal dance. Then when he was done prancing around like a buffoon, stomping his feet and smacking the walls, he went over to a cabinet and opened it up. However, once he caught Sirius staring, he snapped, "Mind your business" and then Yaxley delivered a blow to Sirius' head, making everything go dark around him.

For a while Sirius' dreams were uneventful, just a darkness in his mind that went on and on. But then his dream changed. There was the sound of a slamming door, low voices, and light seeped through the cracks of his eyelids.

"Oh, good, they're here. And they're alive." a familiar female voice sighed in relief. "But...where's Remus?"

"Maybe he escaped." another voice said.

"I guess that's possible..."

"It's so dark in here - _ouch! _One of you stepped on my foot."

"Might've been me, sorry."

"This whole room is _rigged_ with traps." a much younger voice joined the cacophony, sounding strangely familiar.

"You don't say!" the voice of a teenage boy said, also a bit familiar.

_This is such a weird dream, _Sirius thought. _Unless I'm awake..._

He tried opening his eyes but it felt like there was glue over his eyelids, sticking them together. He also found that he couldn't move a muscle; every limb felt heavy and weighted down.

"You're right about the traps. There seems to be quite a lot of them in here. Most of them have been disengaged, from the looks of it. But we've got to be careful."

"Who would set up traps in here? It's just an old, unused hospital room."

"Maybe the traps were guarding something." said the familiar female voice.

_Tonks? _Sirius wondered.

"Yes, it seems most likely the traps were _- don't touch that!"_ Tonks shouted.

"Why not?" asked the voice of a young boy.

"It's sharp!"

"So?"

"Where'd you find that?"

"In the wall."

"What is it?"

"A ninja star, it looks like."

"Where'd it come from?"

"I don't know, a ninja?"

Tonks sighed exasperatedly.

"We've got to wake these Aurors up." said the teenage voice. "And untie them."

"Enervate, Finite Incantatem." Sirius heard a familiar gravelly voice say from somewhere nearby. _Scrimgeour?, _he wondered. "Eneverate, Finite Incantatem."

Sirius could hear Paleski and Flaherty's sudden gasps of air as they sat up.

Then Sirius felt someone kneel in front of them, could feel their breath on his face.

"Enervate, Finite Incantatem." spoke the voice of a young boy.

Then Sirius' limbs were liberated from the cords that had bound them and his eyes flashed open. However, the bright glow of several wands nearly scorched his eyes, making them water; he shielded his eyes from the light with his arm.

"Wotcher, Sirius!" Tonks said. "Glad you're alright! Here's your wand." She shoved his wand into his hands as he blinked around the dimly lit room dazedly.

"What happened?" Flaherty groaned from somewhere in the shadows by the wall.

The light from the wands bounced all over the room in a dizzying blur of light and dark, illuminating objects and people for fractions of seconds before moving away, making shadows jump around the walls. Sirius couldn't make out the details of anything; green blotches danced around his vision, obscuring everything.

However, he could somewhat see the person who was kneeling in front of him, and with a jolt he realized who it was.

"James!" Sirius sat up suddenly. "Is that you?"

_That's James, it has to be._

Sirius quickly rose to his feet, as did the person in front of him. And that was when Sirius realized "James" was two feet shorter than him. "Lumos," he mumbled, igniting the tip of his wand and raising it to see the person's face.

"James, mate, why are you - HOLY SIMILAR!"

Sirius jumped back in shock, hurling himself into a bookcase, making shelves and books and glass items crash to the floor with a loud racket. In front of him stood a thirteen year old boy with Lily's big green eyes staring at him from under James' dark, messy hair.

"JESUS CHRIST!"

"Oh, Sirius, I forgot to tell you -" Tonks grinned sheepishly. "Probably should have mentioned this the second you woke up-"

Sirius dropped to his knees and stared at the boy in front of him, his heart pounding in his ears. Thousands of questions ran through his mind but he couldn't decide on one to ask, none of them were even tangible sentences, just loud fragments of thoughts demanding answers.

_This isn't possible - this isn't real - I'm dreaming - I must be dreaming - how could this be real? - This boy looks like Lily and James - he looks like their son - but he can't be their son - Harry is dead - Harry is dead - BUT HE'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME._

"Is this real life?" Sirius asked. His eyes raked over the boy, trying to look for some proof that this might not be who he thought it was, but everything about the boy - his eyes, the shape of his face, his mouth, even his posture - _screamed_ 'spawn of Lily and James.' Without thinking, he grabbed the boy's shoulders and stared him in the eyes, his mind so blown he could barely find the words to say. "_HARRY?__"_

"Look at this kid, Sirius, isn't he weird?" Maran stepped over and put his hands on the boy's face from behind. "Look at his face! Look! And look at his hair! Who does he look like? Tell me who he looks like, come on, I know you know. Isn't it weird?"

"_You're _weird." The boy ducked his head, pulling out of Maran's grip.

"Get away from Harry, Maran. I think you've creeped him out enough today." Tonks said.

"Holy fuck, are you really Harry?" Sirius asked, a manic kind of excitement building up in his chest. On the outside he seemed composed, but on the inside everything was about to erupt. "You're Harry? You're _really_ Harry?"

The boy nodded.

"Oh lord, here it comes." Tonks muttered.

Sirius sprang to his feet so suddenly Harry jumped. Then he ran his shaking hands through his long dark hair, pulling at it, a nervous habit he'd picked up off of James. He chuckled at first, then laughed a bit louder, and then he was throwing his head back and laughing hysterically, his whole body shaking.

"YOU'RE HARRY!" He bellowed, wiping his streaming eyes.

"Yeah," Harry said with the same nervous, frightened tone of voice someone would use if they were asking, "_are you out of your mind?" _That only made Sirius laugh harder.

"TONKS, TONKS, HE'S HARRY."

"I know, Sirius."

"HE'S _HARRY."_

"Yeah, Sirius, I know."

"HE'S MY GODSON!"

"I know, Sirius."

"DO YOU KNOW?"

"Yes, I know."

"DOES _HE _KNOW?"

"Well I suppose he knows now."

Harry was watching with wide eyes, looking both scared and amused.

"Harry, Harry," Sirius said excitedly, kneeling down again. "I'm your godfather."

"Are you being serious?"

"TONKS, HE JUST MADE A PUN ABOUT MY NAME, HE TRULY IS THE SON OF JAMES POTTER!"

Harry couldn't stop himself from grinning.

"Are you done shouting, Black?" Scrimgeour asked.

"No, I think he could go on all night." Tonks laughed.

"Wait a second!" Flaherty's jaw dropped. "That's James' son? His dead son?"

"I'm not dead." Harry said.

"But didn't You-Know-Who kill you years ago?"

"Not that I can remember."

"But what if he _did_ kill you and you just don't remember, then?"

"But then how would I be here?"

"I don't know." Flaherty looked startled.

"SHUT UP, FLAHERTY! HE'S ALIVE!" Sirius shouted before pulling Harry into a bone-crushing hug, which Harry returned shyly.

"This is too weird." Paleski said.

"Do Lily and James know?" Sirius asked Tonks.

"James knows, Lily doesn't yet." She answered.

"How are you alive?" Sirius asked Harry.

Harry shrugged.

"Well, old Voldemort wanted to kill young Harry here when he was just a year old, as you must know," Mile said, sitting on top of the old cabinet. "But Bellatrix thought he'd make a good Death Eater so she convinced No-Nose not to kill him."

"You're a Junior Death Eater?" Sirius asked Harry, his eyes wide.

"Not really. Not anymore."

"You were at the Ministry!" Sirius realized. "You destroyed that hocrux! _You were rude to Scrimgeour! _I need a high five. Right now."

Harry grinned and high-fived Sirius while Scrimgeour frowned in disapproval.

"Now _really,_ don't be so bloody immature, Black -"

"Hush, Scrimgeour, this is the greatest moment of my life. I don't want your voice as the soundtrack." Sirius smiled at Harry and said, "Have you met your dad yet?"

Harry nodded.

"But you haven't met your Mum?" Sirius asked. "Well, you've got to meet Remus. Right now. Speaking of Remus, where is Remus?"

"He wasn't here when we came in." Tonks said.

"Kingsley and Takashi are in a room downstairs with one of the Healers, maybe Lupin will be down there." Scrimgeour said.

"Why would he be down there?"

"Well, the room they're in is the only room with a light on. If Remus escaped and ran to get help, that's probably the first room he'd think to go in." Scrimgeour said.

"Let's go look!" Sirius said. He took Harry by the arm and said, "Come on, Harry, you've got to meet Remus."

Harry exchanged a look with Tonks, shrugged, and let Sirius lead him out the door and down the stairs. Tonks skipped along after them, a broad grin on her face, as Paleski, Maran, Flaherty, Mile and Scrimgeour walked along slowly, refusing to be a part of Sirius' little parade of joy.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Sirius held an arm out for Harry to stop.

"Careful, there might be Death Eaters." Sirius held his wand up and looked around. "Tonks, where's the room Kingsley and Takashi are in?"

"Over here," Tonks said and lead the way for them into the dark corridor. All of the windows in the doors were blacked out, except for one that was glowing brightly. Tonks made her way for the door, knocked, and said, "Open up. It's me: Tonks!"

The door opened slowly, a Healer standing behind the threshold, looking around cautiously.

"It's alright; she's our friend. Let her in." Kingsley said from somewhere inside.

"Is Remus here?" Tonks asked, stepping into the room. Then Sirius heard her cry, "Remus, _there_ you are! What happened to your arm?"

Sirius burst through the door and saw Kingsley and Takashi sitting in beds while Remus sat at the Healer's desk at the other side of the room, in the process of making tea with a bandaged arm.

"Remus, mate, there's good news!" Sirius yelled.

"Sirius! Are you alright?" Remus asked. "I'm sorry for leaving you there, but Greyback picked a fight with me and he nearly cut my arm open. I ran down here to get some help, and I was gonna go back and find you, but they said Scrimgeour was up there so I figured -"

"Stop prattling, Remus, none of that matters!" Sirius said. "I've got great news!"

"What is it?" Remus asked. "Did you catch Macnair, Yaxley and Redler?"

"Even BETTER!" Sirius shouted before running back out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Remus' brow furrowed as he looked over at Tonks, who was smiling like she knew something. He sighed and poured the water from the kettle into teacups.

"He's awfully happy about something." Kingsley said, his lips quirking up in amusement. Takashi nodded in agreement, playing around with a stethoscope.

Then Sirius burst back into the room, towing Harry along by the arm.

"Look, Remus, look!" Sirius laughed.

Remus looked up at Sirius with a bored expression on his face, obviously expecting something stupid, but then his eyes nearly popped out of his head and his jaw dropped at the sight of the boy in front of him. Takashi dropped the stethoscope he'd been toying with, even the usually calm Kingsley looked like he'd been sucker punched, and Remus was completely oblivious to the hot water overflowing from the cup and scalding his hand; he was distractedly pouring the entire kettle of water into one cup as he stared at Harry.

"Is that - is that-?" Takashi stammered.

"It's Harry!" Sirius was practically bouncing with excitement, his hands on Harry's shoulders.

Remus flung the tea kettle aside; it skittered off the desk and landed on the floor, hot water sloshing everywhere.

"_Harry?" _Remus took a step forward.

Harry nodded, unsure of what else to do or say.

"Are you -" Remus' voice cracked and he had to clear his throat. "Are you really Harry? Harry Potter?"

"It's him, Remus." Tonks said with a grin.

"My god," Kingsley said under his breath, staring at Harry in amazement.

"How are you alive?" Takashi asked.

"Everyone keeps asking me that," Harry said. "But I don't have all the answers."

Tonks and Sirius laughed like it was the funniest thing they've ever heard. Paleski, Maran, Flaherty, Scrimgeour and Mile appeared in the doorway behind them.

"Who's _that?"_ Takashi asked, looking at Mile.

"Er - everyone," Scrimgeour cleared his throat loudly, calling for silence. It took a few moments for Sirius and Tonks to get a hold of themselves. When they finally did, Scrimgeour put a hand on Mile's shoulder and announced, "This is Mile...my son."

"WHAT?"

"YOUR _SON?"_

"YOU HAVE A SON?"

"YOU GOT LAID?"

"This day just keeps getting better and better."

Everyone reacted to this except for Harry and Remus. Harry was quietly looking around from person to person while Remus stared at him intently, his eyes huge in his pale face.

"But _how?" _Takashi demanded. "How's he your son? And how is Harry alive? You-Know Who was supposed to kill him. And no offense, Scrimgeour, but since when have you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Marie." Scrimgeour said, a blush creeping up his neck.

"Ohh," Tonks nodded. "I see."

"And if you want to know why Harry's alive, it's because Bellatrix convinced Voldemort not to kill him when he was a baby and decided it would be better to raise him as a Death Eater instead." Mile said. "This is probably the hundredth time I've told this bloody story tonight. Now I'm starting to feel like Bellatrix. She tells the story all the time, whenever she's mad."

"Or whenever she's drunk." Harry said.

"But she usually just sings when she's drunk." Mile said.

"-about Voldemort." Harry added, making Sirius and Tonks howl with laughter again.

"But you don't act like a Death Eater." Maran said to Harry.

"And you don't act like Scrimgeour." Flaherty said to Mile.

"Well, obviously Harry isn't a real Death Eater!" Tonks exclaimed. "He's Lily and James' son, for Merlin's sake. He might have been raised by Bellatrix Lestrange but he's got Potter blood in his veins. He's got Lily's eyes, hasn't he? He has her heart too." Then she said, "And we all remember Marie. She had a sense of humor. That could be why this Mile boy has a sense of humor too. Because he definitely did not get it from Scrimgeour. No offense, Scrimgeour."

Mile looked at his father and shrugged, spreading his palms out innocently.

Harry suddenly cringed, a jolt of pain running up his arm. His stomach sunk with dread. _Not again, _he thought desperately. _Please don't let that start up again..._

"Harry, is your arm still hurting?" Tonks was looking at him worriedly. Apparently his cringe didn't go unnoticed.

"There's something wrong with your arm?" Sirius looked at Harry in concern.

"Nothing's wrong." Harry said quickly.

Tonks grabbed his arm anyway and pushed back his sleeve, exposing the Dark Mark and the rows of scars along his wrist. The whole room went quiet.

"Is he trying to summon you?" Mile asked, pulling up his own sleeve and checking his wrist, where there too was a Dark Mark. "I don't feel it."

"You've got a Dark Mark?" Scrimgeour looked at Mile in horror.

"They gave you a Dark Mark?" Sirius' said to Harry, his face going pale. "And how the fuck did you get those scars? Who did this to you?"

"Bellatrix." Harry answered.

"That evil, twisted bint!" Sirius exclaimed. "I'll get her good for that, next time I see her. Oh god, has James seen this?"

"James knows about it." Tonks nodded. "He's not mad at Harry for having a Dark Mark. But if you find the severed head of Bellatrix Lestrange lying around, James is probably responsible; he went apoplectic with rage about all the scars on Harry's wrists."

"He did?" Harry looked surprised.

"Oh yes, but you weren't in the room." Tonks said.

Sirius took Harry's wrist and looked at it, his face growing steadily paler as his eyes moved over all the scratches and cuts.

"Just be glad your Mum doesn't know about this. She'd foam at the mouth and demand Bellatrix's head on a platter."

* * *

Bellatrix screeched in pain when Lily grabbed her by the hair and threw her against the wall, her head cracking against the stone with a loud smack.

"I'm getting impatient," Lily said, her arms starting to ache. "But I can do this forever. I have all the time in the world."

"But does _Harry_ have enough time?" Bellatrix grinned, showing off a gap where her front teeth used to be, but now lay in a puddle of saliva and blood on the floor from when Lily knocked them out. Lily kicked the woman in the ribs, making her cough up blood. "Easy, mudblood. You might end up killing me and then you'll never know where your precious son is. And things aren't looking too well for him right now. Remember when you knocked me out a few minutes go? Well, you see, the Dark Lord recently set up a mental link between our Dark Marks, allowing me to see into Harry's mind whenever I'm unconscious. So I just got a glimpse of where he is, and I'm just delighted at how well things are turning out."

"You - you _just_ got a glimpse of where he is?" Lily asked, the meaning of Bellatrix's words sinking in slowly. "So all this time-"

"I had no idea where he was," Bellatrix cackled, blood dribbling from her lips. "Until now!"

"WHERE?" Lily seized Bellatrix by the throat. "TELL ME!"

Bellatrix only laughed, the sound like nails on a chalkboard.

"I'll use Veritaserum!"

Bellatrix laughed even harder.

"Veritaserum? You must be joking, mudblood! Surely you know there are many, many ways to trick that fallible potion!"

"-which is why I haven't used it yet. But since pain doesn't seem to bother you, I can't just beat it out of you, and you're not going to tell me the truth any time soon. So I might as well try it now." Lily went over to the cabinets by the wall and rifled through them, shoving useless, empty vials out of her way in her desperate attempt to find Veritaserum.

"You're looking for Veritsaserum _here?" _Bellatrix snorted. "I doubt you're going to find the strongest truth potion in existence just sitting on a shelf in an abandoned St. Mungo's ward. I knew you were stupid, but I had no idea you were _that_ stupid. Even your son has more common sense than that, which is really saying something because he doesn't have much."

"SHUT UP!" Lily threw a bottle at the wall behind Bellatrix, making shards of glass rain down on the woman's head.

Then Lily Disapparated, leaving behind the dark, abandoned hospital ward and falling to her knees in the mud on the outskirts of a forest. She quickly got to her feet and ran through the trees until she reached the low, grassy hill leading up to Hogwarts. By the time she reached the castle door, there was a painful stitch in her side that twinged every time she moved or breathed but she ignored it and pushed her legs to move faster and faster, through the corridors and down the stairs to the dungeons.

"Severus!" She shouted, opening the door to the potions classroom. "Severus, are you here?"

The classroom was cold and empty, the silence humming in her ears. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the shiny pewter cauldron on Snape's desk and jumped in surprise; she looked like a stranger. No, she looked like a total _wreck._ Her skin was paler than usual, her eyes bearing dark shadows underneath, her lips were chapped and her hair was in a state of disarray, hanging around her face in chaotic tangles.

A cold hand on her shoulder made her jump and raise her wand, preparing to fight, but she lowered it when she realized it was only Snape.

"Severus," She said. "I need Veritaserum."

"Pardon?" He narrowed his eyes, looking her up and down.

"Veritaserum! I need it! Please, Severus, don't you have any?"

"Lily, may I ask what you're doing here at Hogwarts? And why do you look like you've been to hell and back?"

"Severus, believe me, I've gone to hell but I haven't come back. I know this is out of the blue and I haven't even talked to you in months and this sounds like a strange request but I really, _really_ need Veritaserum. I can't tell you why right now, it's a long story, but please, Severus, please, just give me some!"

"Have you spoken to your husband at all?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"SEVERUS!" She shouted. Then she covered her face with her hands and said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I haven't got time to answer questions! Do you have Veritaserum or not?"

He looked at her for a few moments, his expression betraying nothing, but then he nodded and walked over to his desk. After unlocking the bottom drawer and digging through it, he pulled out a small vial of clear, colorless liquid that, if she didn't know any better, she would have thought was water.

"You only need to use a few drops and the person you're interrogating will spill all of their secrets," Snape handed the bottle to her. "Although I still can't imagine why you'd need this, or who you're planning on using it on."

"Thank you so much, Severus!" Lily stowed the bottle in her pocket and ran for the door.

"Wait," Snape said, making her stop. "There's something you should probably know, if you don't already."

"What is it?" Lily asked impatiently, bouncing on her toes, getting ready to run again.

"Never mind," Snape said quickly. "Let _him_ tell you. It's probably better that way."

Lily didn't know or care what he was talking about. Whatever it was, it could wait until after she found Harry. She flung the door open and ran back up the stairs, through the corridors to the entrance hall, and out the castle door and across the grounds until she felt herself break through the invisible wall of the wards, where she was able to Apparate back to St Mungo's.

* * *

Back at Hogwarts, Snape was very disgruntled. He kept replaying that conversation over and over in his head, trying to think of why Lily would come to him looking like a total mess, demanding Veritaserum before running off again. He wanted to sit down at his desk and write some Fs on all of his Gryffindor students' papers to take his mind off things, but he still couldn't sit in his chair. He'd have to have Flitwick come and remove whatever charm was put on it. Frustrated, he left his classroom and went off to find Flitwick.

But when he reached the first floor corridor, he ran into Trelawney, who hadn't been watching where she was going because she was so busy staring at the dregs at the bottom of a teacup and mumbling to herself.

"Severus! You ought to be more careful. You nearly knocked me right over," She said.

He bit back whatever cruel retort he'd thought of and glared down at her like she was an irksome insect.

"Well, while I have you here, I assume you want to know all about what I'm predicting at the moment, it's rather fascinating." She said, gazing down into the cup. "Yes, I see a fight happening. A big one, between the hand that rocks the cradle and the hand that chokes the child..."

"Fascinating indeed, Sybil," He said monotonously and tried to walk away before she could say anything else, but she seized his arm and held onto it.

"Oh, yes, very, very fascinating. I do think I know the outcome of this fight, though. Clearly, the hand that rocks the cradle would be the winner. You know what they always say, don't you?: 'The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.' Although, in my opinion, the eyes that see the future are what rule the world, but not everyone has the sight, unfortunately."

"Yes, how unfortunate. I must be going." He jerked out of her grip and stalked off down the corridor.

"Good seeing you, Severus! Stay away from the ones with red hair! They will bring you great distress and misfortune!"

* * *

Lily landed in a crouching position on the floor right near Bellatrix. The woman's dark eyes shined with mirth as Lily took the bottle of Veritaserum out of her pocket and pulled out the cork with her nails.

"Oh, you found some," Bellatrix said with a smile. "Let's see how well it works."

Lily grabbed a fistful of Bellatrix's hair to hold her head still, then shoved the bottle into her mouth, forcing all of its contents down her throat. Once Bellatrix swallowed all of it, Lily let the bottle drop to the floor and shatter. She rose to her feet with tired, shaking legs and held onto a table to steady herself.

"Now you're going to tell me everything."

"You think so?" Bellatrix smiled. "Oh, and I almost forgot! While you were gone, I saw into Harry's mind again. Poor boy, though, it causes him great pain every time I do. And I must say, things are really going in the Dark Lord's favor."

"Where is Harry?" Lily asked, hoping to god the potion would work.

"Here."

Lily's heartbeat quickened.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Harry is here at St. Mungo's." Bellatrix said with a deviant smile. "But don't look so relieved, mudblood. Even I don't know exactly where he is. All of these rooms look alike. You'll never find him in time."

Lily was already out the door.

* * *

"Remus, you look like you've seen a ghost." Tonks said. "Which is understandable, of course."

"Say something, Moony. Before I smack you to see if you're breathing." Sirius said.

"That only works on newborns, Sirius." Flaherty said.

"How would you know, Flaherty? Have you got a child?"

"No, but neither do you."

"I have a godchild, though."

"So we've heard."

"Come on, Moony." Sirius said. "Give Harry a hug! I know you want to."

"Harry wouldn't mind. Would you, Harry?" Tonks smiled at Harry. Then she said to Remus, "He's only creeped out by Maran."

"Hey!" Maran cried indignantly.

Remus hesitantly stepped forward and hugged Harry gently, like he was afraid of hurting the boy. Then he pulled away, but his hand lingered on Harry's back as he looked into his eyes.

"I can hardly believe it." Remus said softly.

"None of us can." Kingsley said, still looking like he'd just received the greatest shock of his life.

"Can everyone get away from the door?" The Healer asked, a far off look on his face as he motioned for everyone to move further into the room. He practically shoved Scrimgeour and Mile out of the way as he moved past them to get to his desk.

"You look so offended, Rufus!" Tonks laughed. "The look on your face!"

"Not used to being manhandled, are you?" Maran laughed.

"Everyone, don't laugh at the man. It's not his fault his ego is so large. He was born that way." Sirius said.

"I'm impressed with this one, though," Paleski said, gesturing to Mile. "He's quite sane, for someone who shares DNA with Rufus."

"Ha-ha, you're all hilarious." Scrimgeour said. "But I feel like you're forgetting that I'm your boss."

"Who could forget? You remind us all ten times a day."

"I wouldn't say _ten _times. Eight, maybe," Scrimgeour said. "But not ten."

"Oh, Dad, you jokester!" Mile punched Scrimgeour's arm.

In the midst of all of this joking and laughing, Harry felt two arms wrap around him from behind. But it wasn't like the playful hugs James gave him after sneaking up on him. The person's grip was so strong it nearly crushed his ribs. Then he immediately noticed, behind everyone, there was a face looking through the window in the door, illuminated by the light of a wand. Harry's heart started pounding so hard he felt like whoever had grabbed him could feel it as they dragged him backwards. He wanted to grab his wand and fight them off but his arms were pinned to his sides.

But then there was a loud crack and for a second Harry froze, thinking he'd been hit over the head, only to realize it wasn't _him_ that had been hit over the head, but the person who'd grabbed him. Turning around, he saw the Healer lying on the floor, Remus standing over him holding some sort of metal rod.

"What just happened!" Tonks cried in alarm.

Then the door burst open, nearly flying off its hinges. Kyro, Redler, Macnair and three other Death Eaters were standing behind it.

"Kyro!" Mile hissed, pulling out his wand.

"Nice to see you, Mile." Kyro said with a snarl. "Expelliarmus!"

Mile's wand flew from his hands and hit the wall. All the Aurors reached for their own wands but before anyone could do anything, the Death Eaters aimed their wands at the ceiling and said, "Reducto!"

There was an explosion that threw everyone back against the walls and then an eruption of dust and shattering plaster. While everyone dropped to their knees to find the wands that they'd dropped, a cloud of smoke rose, obscuring everything else in the room. Somewhere in the chaos, someone else grabbed Harry and dragged him through the open door.

Out in the hallway, Harry was thrown down to the floor. Kyro stood over him, smiling cruelly.

"Finally," He said. Then he called over his shoulder, "Redler, I've got him."

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**Oh wow, I am a massive bitch for ending it here. But I must be going. It's Thanksgiving and my crazy relatives are calling me. Happy Thanksgiving, to all my fellow Americans, and happy Thursday to everyone else. Please review, as always. ;D**


	26. You've come this far and you're broken

**Good evening readers! I have nothing pointless to ramble about tonight so here you go, another chapter.**** Oh wait a second! I almost forgot. I'm going to give you guys a bit of a warning for this chapter.**

**Warning: there's some creepy implied pedophilia from one of the villains. But that is all I am going to tell you. **

**/end of warning.**

**Now read.  
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_Here I stand, empty hands_  
_ Wishing my wrists were bleeding_  
_ To stop the pain from the beatings_  
_ There you stood, holding me_  
_ Waiting for me to notice you_  
_ The warmth of your embrace_  
_ Melts my frostbitten spirit_  
_ You speak the truth and I hear it_  
_ The words are "I love you"_  
_ And I have to believe in you_

* * *

Only once the dust had settled did Sirius realize Harry was missing. Climbing to his feet, coughing and choking on the smoky hair, he looked around in a panic, looking to see where his godson had gone.

"Harry?" He called out desperately. "Harry, where are you?"

"You mean he's gone?" Remus grabbed Sirius' shoulder. "They took him?"

Sirius looked at the open door in horror.

"Yeah," Sirius croaked. "They did."

Not a second later they were on their feet, running out into the hallway. Fortunately, they found Harry there, kneeling on the floor. However, Kyro, Redler, and about five Death Eaters were also there. As soon as the other Aurors ran out behind them, the Death Eaters raised their wands threateningly, forcing everyone to stop.

"Harry!" Sirius ran forward but was hit with a spell that knocked him backward into the wall.

"Don't come any closer!" Kyro aimed his wand at Sirius' chest.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Sirius spat, wondering why this kid looked familiar.

"That's Kyro," Mile appeared behind him. "Bellatrix's lapdog."

"Shut up, Mile!" Kyro snapped. "You're just mad because I'm Bellatrix's favorite! She never liked either of you!"

"You're her favorite? Oh, I'm so jealous." Harry said derisively.

He tried to stand up but Redler forced him back down to the floor, holding onto his neck tightly. Both Remus and Sirius tried to run towards him again but three Death Eaters hit them with more spells, throwing them to the floor.

"Make one move and I'll claw his throat," Redler said to the Aurors. "It'll only take me a second to break his skin, and if he lives from that, he'll probably turn into a werewolf."

"Don't hurt him," Sirius said. "Leave him out of this! He's just a kid, he's got nothing to do with this!"

"I'll make you a deal." Redler said slowly.

"No, I'll make _you_ a deal! Let go of him and I won't kill you!" Sirius spat.

"Is it such a good idea, being rude to me, when I have my hands around your godson's neck?" Redler raised an eyebrow, amused by Sirius' outburst.

Sirius was going to say something else, but Remus elbowed him in the ribs.

"What is it? What's your deal?" Remus asked.

"Tell Potter to give the horcrux back and _maybe _I'll let his son live."

Everyone looked surprised by this. While the Aurors exchanged wary looks and Sirius stood there in a panic, silently trying to figure out how he could get Harry out of this, Redler lifted Harry to his feet and began leading him backwards down the hall, his fingernails pressing against the soft flesh of Harry's neck, threatening to puncture it.

"Wait!" Sirius shouted, his heart hammering so hard he could hardly breathe. "Stop! I've got to tell you something!"

Redler stopped, looking at Sirius expectantly. However, Sirius had absolutely nothing. He didn't know what to say, he didn't have a plan, he just had to save Harry somehow.

"What is it?" Redler snapped.

Then, unexpectedly, Harry pulled Redler's hand away from his throat, and with his free hand he jabbed Redler in the eyes as hard as he could. Redler cried out in pain and went to grab Harry's hands to remove them from his eyes, but Harry had already pulled away and was now running down the hall. The Death Eaters turned their wands away from the Aurors to aim them at Harry, giving the Aurors time to strike.

"Stupefy!" several Aurors cried, successfully stunning at least three Death Eaters.

Kyro went to grab Harry but Mile caught him by the shoulders and shoved him into a wall.

"Cru-" Kyro started to say, wand held towards Mile's face.

"Silencio!" Harry said, silencing Kyro immediately.

"Thanks, mate." Mile said to Harry.

"It wasn't for you, it's because his voice annoys me." Harry said before jumping back as Redler lunged at him.

"That wasn't very nice, what you did to me." Redler said, advancing on Harry, who backed up against the wall.

But before Redler could do anything, Sirius and Remus grabbed each of his arms and threw him to the floor.

"Didn't I tell you not to touch him?" Sirius said before stepping down on Redler's hand.

Redler grabbed Sirius' legs and pulled him down to the floor. But as soon as he did, Sirius transformed into a dog and pounced on Redler's chest, jaw snapping eagerly, trying to get to Redler's throat.

"Sirius, no!" Remus cried. "If he scratches you, you'll turn into a wolf, let me fight him myself, he can't do anything to me -"

Sirius yelped when Redler grabbed him around the middle and threw him off of him. Remus tried to curse Redler, but he quickly rolled out of the way before trying to run at Harry again. Right before he got within a few feet of Harry, Sirius jumped onto his back and clamped his teeth down on his neck.

_He's only after me,_ Harry realized. _He doesn't want to hurt the others, he just wants me. _

Then he took off running down the hall, ducking every time a Death Eater shot a curse at him, until he reached the stairwell where he jumped over the banister and fell to the landing below. Then he dashed down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He could hear the door to the stairwell burst open above him, footsteps pounding after him. He ran into a random corridor and kept going, moving through different empty rooms and hallways, not knowing where he was going, just knowing that he had to get away.

And as he was running through the corridors, the emergency torches blurring by him like blue ghosts, it occurred to him that if Redler caught him, he was really going to die this time. This wasn't just an adrenaline-pumping near death experience he'd faced before in the dungeons of Lestrange Manor, when Bellatrix lost her temper and beat him too hard. No, that time was nothing compared to this. This was a blood-thirsty maniac who was infamous for torturing and killing children. If Harry was caught, he was surely going to die slowly and painfully. Redler would do things so horrible that no Healer could fix; he'd tear Harry's flesh into ribbons and paint the walls with his blood.

Harry was suddenly out of energy; he fell against a wall and started panting, taking gasps for air that never quite filled his lungs. He closed his eyes and was hit with a horrible mental image of what his body would probably look like once Redler was done with him.

_He probably wants to kill me even more painfully now that I gouged his eyes, _Harry thought, fear making his stomach do somersaults.

He couldn't rest for too long, though. After a few moments he heard loud, hurried footsteps coming closer and closer, along with the sound of raspy breathing. Redler was still chasing him. He wanted to keep running but the corridor he was in had few open doors; most of them were locked and probably lead to nowhere. There was only one door that seemed to be unlocked about ten feet away, but there seemed to be light coming through. If he ran in there, Redler would see him.

But still, what else could he do?

He started making his way for the door but then someone roughly seized him by the collar of his shirt from behind and started pulling him into the room he'd been planning on going into. Once inside the room, he was slammed against the wall so hard he couldn't breathe for a few moments.

Standing in front of him was Redler. And sitting behind him, in the far off corner of the room, was Bellatrix. Harry raised his wand to hex her but Redler grabbed it and threw it to the floor.

"Thank you for bringing him to me, Redler. And thank you for untying me. The Dark Lord won't be hearing of how you left me earlier, after all." She said.

"Bella?" Harry said. "What are you doing here? Quit stalking me."

"What are _you_ doing here, love?" Bellatrix asked, smiling like she knew.

"I'm trying to find my mother." Harry answered. "And don't call me 'love'."

Bellatrix sighed and looked away as if she were sad or guilty about something.

"Oh, Harry," She looked at him pityingly. "You don't get it, do you? Poor thing..."

"Don't get _what?" _

Just then, Redler grabbed Harry's arms and pulled him close, leering down at him.

"Not yet, Redler!" Bellatrix snapped. "I wish to talk with the boy first."

Redler reluctantly let go of Harry and moved away.

"I just don't know how to break it to you." Bellatrix said to Harry. "I just don't have the heart to say it..."

"I know you don't have a heart, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Harry," She said softly. "Your mother doesn't want to see you. She doesn't want anything to do with you."

Harry's heart dropped at those words and he swallowed nervously.

"You're lying."

"I wish I was."

Redler motioned to grab Harry again but stopped when Bellatrix shrieked, "REDLER, CONTROL YOURSELF!"

"You don't even know my mother. You wouldn't know what she wants." Harry tried to sound confident but he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

"I do know your mother, actually. I just spoke with her about twenty minutes ago. I offered to tell her where you are, but she said she doesn't care where you are; she doesn't want to know you."

"Now I _know_ you're lying, because she doesn't know I'm alive! My Dad told me she doesn't know yet!"

"Did he really?" Bellatrix raised her eyebrows. "Well, I suppose he wouldn't want to tell you the truth; he probably feels bad for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously she knows you're alive. Why wouldn't he have told her already?"

"Because -"

"It's quite obvious that he told her, maybe offered to introduce her to you, but she just didn't want to see you. Who could blame her, though? She _is _Muggle-born, after all. And we Death Eaters aren't too fond of them, are we? And since you're a Junior Death Eater, she must know that you hate Muggle-borns-"

"That's not even true! I don't hate Muggle-borns!"

"-and why would she want a son who doesn't like her own kind?" Bellatrix sighed sadly. "I'm terribly sorry, Harry. But your mother just doesn't want you. Not as a son, not as an acquaintance, not as anything."

Harry's eyes were prickling and there was a lump in his throat. He didn't want to speak because he felt like if he did, his voice would break, betraying how upset he truly was. He didn't want to believe Bellatrix; she'd lied to him so many times before about so many things; his own _surname_ being one of them. But everything about what she was saying made sense. Why _hadn't_ he met his mother yet? His dad hadn't introduced them yet, he kept saying "soon" but never gave him an exact date; perhaps he was just putting off telling Harry that his mother didn't want to meet him.

It would make sense if this horrible thing were true. Harry's life had been terrible for so long, with long days of training to fight and sleepless nights listening to prisoners screaming in the dungeons, no parents there to comfort him or guide him or protect him from Bellatrix's cruelty. The fact that he _did_ have parents and they both wanted him in their lives was too good to be true. There had to be a catch. There had to be something wrong. Things can't go from dark and terrible to bright and happy so suddenly.

"You know I'm right, don't you?" Bellatrix couldn't suppress a smile. She reached up her sleeve and pulled out a slender, gleaming knife then handed it out to him, wanting him to take it. He only looked at it. "Go on, Harry, take the knife. You never know when you might be needing it. Sooner or later you might realize that life is just not worth living."

"What, you want me to kill myself?"

"_I _don't want you to kill yourself, Harry." Bellatrix raised her eyebrows suggestively. "But you never know when _you_ might want to."

"I wouldn't want to!" Harry said, throwing the knife down on the floor.

"The boy isn't going to kill himself, Bellatrix," Redler said. "Because I'm going to kill him, as soon as you're doing talking to him..."

"Wait, Redler. I just have a few questions to ask him." Bellatrix said. "Harry, do you know where the horcrux is, the one your dad took?"

"The Diadem?" Harry asked. "It's gone, Dumbledore destroyed it."

"No, he doesn't know." Bellatrix said to Redler. "He doesn't even know which horcrux I'm referring to. No point in keeping him alive. Go ahead and kill him now."

Before he even knew what was happening, Harry was lying on the floor with Redler on top of him, pinning him down, grinning at him lecherously. And in that moment, Harry could have sworn his life flashed before his eyes: going to London with Bellatrix when he was six, falling asleep in the snow, being beaten in the dungeons for the first time when he was nine as punishment for running away, receiving the Dark Mark when he was eleven, trying to get rid of it when he was twelve, and meeting his father for the first time two days ago, escaping from Lestrange Manor and playing in the grass outside of Hogwarts while Tonks bounced around impatiently, telling them they've got work to do...

"Are you scared?" Redler whispered menacingly, his breath hot on Harry's neck.

Harry couldn't speak, his hands twisted and struggled uselessly under Redler's grip, his heart drumming so hard and so loud he thought Bellatrix could hear it at the other side of the room. Redler's hand crept under Harry's shirt and slithered up his torso, coming to rest on his chest, right over his heart, which only made it beat so much faster that Harry could hardly breathe.

"You _are_ scared. I can feel it." Redler grinned slowly. "That makes this much funner for me."

He felt Redler's fingers tense over his chest, his nails pressing down a bit harder, getting ready to claw, and for a moment Harry was so terrified he thought about screaming, he thought about begging Redler to stop whatever he was planning on doing, he thought about sobbing and trying to bring out a conscience from somewhere deep inside the maniacal man, so it could persuade him not to do anything bad. But even though he wanted to do all of those things because they were currently his only options, he couldn't figure out how to open his mouth. It was like sound had escaped him, except for his loud, shaky breaths that seemed to encourage Redler, letting him know that his attempts to scare Harry senseless were working.

_I won't scream, I won't scream, _Harry thought. _I won't, I won't -_

Then, instead of scratching him, Redler grabbed Harry by the hair and forced his head to the side, exposing his neck and making it so Harry had to look at Bellatrix across the room, as she sat and watched Redler have his way. He felt Redler's mouth on his neck and with a horrible squirm of disgust he realized he had kissed it. His breath started coming in panicked gasps, his chest rising and falling heavily. Redler's teeth scraped against his neck as he ran one long fingernail down Harry's torso, taunting him, building horrible anticipation before he finally bit down.

"BELLA!" Harry yelled to her, finally losing his will. "MAKE HIM STOP!"

She laughed at him, her dark eyes shining with dark amusement. Redler laughed too, a low, raspy sound that came from deep in his throat and made Harry want to block his ears.

He wished Bellatrix would be the one to kill him. She would probably do it faster than Redler would. She'd probably only smack him around a bit before using the Killing Curse, if she was in a good mood, like she seemed to be. But Redler was going to make this last far into the night, from the looks of it. He seemed to be savoring every moment of Harry's terror and doing anything he could to make it worse; he was finding out what bothered Harry the most then using it against him. For instance, when Harry squirmed with disgust at Redler kissing his neck, it only made him do it more, kissing and licking his way to the hollow of Harry's throat.

Harry tried to push him away, but Redler grabbed his wrist and twisted it so hard he cried out in pain.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?" Redler smiled maliciously before pulling Harry's hair so hard it felt like he'd been punched in the head.

Harry closed his eyes and tears leaked out, running down his face. Then he felt Redler's tongue against his cheek, tasting his tears.

"BELLATRIX!" Harry screamed. "GET HIM OFF ME!"

"What's the matter, pretty?" Redler smiled, putting his fingers over Harry's lips. But then Harry opened his mouth and bit them. "OW! SON OF A BITCH, HE BIT ME! Insolent brat! Bellatrix, would you mind bringing me that knife?"

"DON'T, BELLA!"

"Only if you agree to kill him with it. No more playing around."

"I'm just trying to enjoy myself. Scare him a bit."

"You've already scared him. Look at him, he's going to have a heart attack if you do anything else. He'll die of fright by the time you even get around to torturing hm."

"This _is_ torturing him, evidently." Redler said. He got off of Harry, stood up and went to get the knife.

_This is my only chance, _Harry thought.

He sprung to his feet and ran for the door. Just as he was reaching for the doorknob, Redler caught him around the waist and shoved him into the wall, the knife in his hand, holding it against Harry's chest.

"Where do you think you're going?" Redler breathed against Harry's ear, grinning maliciously, his eyes full of something like twisted lust. He took the blade and gently ran it down the length of Harry's face before suddenly pressing down hard and slicing open his cheek. Then the werewolf leaned in and lapped up the blood from Harry's face while his legs shook so hard he thought he was going to fall. With a rush of desperation he tried to grab the knife but when a twinge of pain shot up his arm, he realized Redler had stabbed him. He slipped out of Redler's grip and fell to his knees, the room going blurry around him. Bellatrix was still just sitting there, smiling.

He didn't let himself give up. Although his arms were throbbing and stinging with pain and his legs felt like liquid, he saw his wand lying a few feet away and grabbed it, preparing to use it. But before he could say an incantation, Redler grabbed him and threw him into the wall. His head hit it so hard he thought it was going to burst open with pain; his eyes were streaming, there were stars spinning across his vision. Looking up, he saw Redler towering over him, hand curled into the shape of a paw before swiping down onto Harry's arm, shredding up his sleeve. For a moment Harry worried that Redler's nails had cut his skin and he worried he'd turn into a werewolf, so he checked his wrist for blood. But there were no claw marks there; Redler had only ripped the fabric of his shirt, not the skin.

_Not that it will matter soon, anyway, once he kills me, _Harry thought.

Redler reached down, grabbed him by the collar and roughly yanked him to his feet, making the top buttons pop off his shirt. In one last feeble attempt to take Redler down, Harry raised his wand and said, "Petrificus Tota-"

Then Redler grabbed Harry's hand that held the wand and bent all of his fingers back, the wand dropping to the floor while Harry gasped in pain.

"You see this, Bella? This one likes to fight." Redler laughed, grabbing a fistful of Harry's hair and pulling him close. He reached under Harry's shirt again, his long, sharp nails running up Harry's bare chest, right over his wildly beating heart. Before he started to press down, he said, "Let's see how much you like this..."

_So this is how I die, _Harry thought, closing his eyes. _He's going to claw me up. _He wanted to reach for his wand but he thought his fingers on his right hand might be broken, and the left hand was covered in the blood that was steadily pouring from the gash in his arm. His head felt both light and heavy at the same time, and his legs seemed to be made out of led, giving him the impression he was going to collapse at any moment. Then it occurred to him that he was probably losing consciousness. _I hope I do lose consciousness. I hope I pass out before he scratches me, so I won't have to feel it...  
_

However, Redler suddenly jerked away from him, and there was a loud bang, a door opening, and Bellatrix started shouting. It was as if her voice was coming from the end of a long tunnel; it seemed to echo, and it sounded distorted, he could barely make out the words...she was shouting incantations, and then there was something about a mudblood...the sound of smashing glass...

But then heavy waves of unconsciousness crashed over Harry, and the darkness pulled him down, until he was asleep without even realizing he was asleep. A dream started right away, like a muggle movie in a cinema.

The dream was bright and familiar, like a long lost childhood memory. In this dream, Harry was sitting on a bench somewhere in London, looking at the snow around him. Transparent, colorless people drifted by, like crowds of ghosts, but directly across the street stood a redheaded woman in a blue dress, and she was the only thing that looked solid. The blue of her dress and the red of her hair were the only true colors Harry could see; the snow was white, the street was black, the sidewalk and everything else were shades of gray.

He didn't know why but she looked so familiar and he really wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't stand up. Fortunately, she started crossing the street, passing through the transparent people like they weren't even there and making her way towards him. As she got closer, he desperately racked his mind for the reason why she looked familiar, but he just couldn't put his finger on it; every time he came close to the answer, it slipped away.

She knelt down in the snow before him and smiled radiantly. But then she frowned when she saw his arm. It was bleeding heavily, dripping red onto the snow.

"HARRY!" She shouted, but the sound didn't seem to be coming from her mouth. It was coming from the sky. He looked up at the sky and saw her face there, looking down at him. That was when it occurred to him that he was probably dreaming. "HARRY, HARRY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE COME BACK TO ME, HARRY, PLEASE."

It started raining. He felt the raindrops on his face. He looked at the redheaded woman in front of him and saw that she was crying.

"Who are you?" He tried to ask but the sound wouldn't leave his mouth.

He looked into her eyes and was startled by how familiar they were.

"HARRY, PLEASE HEAR ME, PLEASE COME BACK TO ME-"

"I'm right here," He again tried to say, but the sound refused to leave his mouth.

She reached forward, offering him her hands. He took them without hesitation, the warmth spreading from her hands to his, and then she was pulling him up; up off the bench and into the sky, where everything got brighter and brighter and brighter...

And then he was slammed back into consciousness, the pain hitting him before the knowledge of where he was did. He was shaking all over, and he tried to force his eyes open, but the lids were so heavy. He did manage to get them open for a few seconds, and he caught a glimpse of someone kneeling in front of him, someone with red hair, before his eyes fell shut again.

Then there were gentle hands on his face, trying to rouse him.

"Harry,"

He forced his eyes open again and saw her, the woman from his dream. Only this time he knew who she was.

"Harry, can you hear me?" Lily asked.

He sat upright so suddenly it made his whole body hurt, but he ignored the pain. _His mother_ was here in front of him. For a few seconds that was all he could think about, the fact that his mother was right there in front of him and they were breathing the same air. But then he remembered what had happened before he passed out.

Where was Redler? Where was Bellatrix? He started to look around the room but Lily took his face in her hands again and forced him to look at her.

"Harry, don't worry, I took care of them," Lily said. "Don't worry, they're gone."

His sight that had been blurry suddenly fixed itself, and everything came into focus, all of the little details. With his regained vision, he stared at Lily, looking her up and down, taking in all the little details about her, from her freckles to the shape of her lips to her hair to her eyes that were _extraordinarily _like his own. And then he noticed with a start that there were tears on her face, and her bottom lip was trembling.

"Harry!" Her voice broke and she lost all composure, wrapping her arms around him and holding him so close and so tight that it almost hurt. And in that moment, Harry would have laughed if he had the strength. He would have laughed because he was alive and because his mother was there and everything was alright and Bellatrix had obviously been lying, and he was stupid to have believed her. He buried his face in Lily's neck, inhaling her scent, as she rubbed his back and said, "It's alright, I've got you, I've got you, it's alright..."

Then she pulled away, holding him at arm's length, and asked with wide eyes, "Do you - do you know who I am?"

He nodded and smiled right before she leaned in and started placing kisses all over his face: his cheeks, his forehead, his mouth, the tip of his nose.

"Wait," He said, suddenly realizing something. "My arm is bleeding - Redler stabbed my arm."

"No, it's alright, sweetie, I healed you," She said before kissing his cheeks for the dozenth time. He raised his arm in amazement, realizing that she was right, and he flexed his fingers, noticing how they didn't hurt anymore. While he was marveling over his lack of injuries, Lily hugged him again and kissed his hair while whispering, "I love you, Harry, I love you so much!"

The most amazing, indescribable feeling set over him; it was this warm, electrifying sensation that spread from his fingertips to his toes, from the top of his head to his stomach; it was like he'd never be sad again, and it made tears leak from the corners of his closed eyes. He clung to her, wrapping his arms around her neck, holding onto her like a drowning man would hold onto a lifeline, and felt all of the pain subside. As she gently caressed his neck, he finally stopped trembling, and he realized he'd probably been trembling inside for twelve years. There was this weight lifted from his shoulders, a weight he hadn't even realized was there until after it was gone.

"We have to go," Lily said, breaking the silence. "We've got to get out of here now."

She kissed his cheek one more time before taking his hands and helping him to his feet. That was the precise moment Harry saw Redler lying on the floor at the other side of the room, unmoving.

"What happened to-"

She stepped in front of him, blocking his view of Redler's body, and said, "It doesn't matter."

"Where's Bella-" Harry started to ask before he noticed the smashed-open window at the other side of the room with a jagged hole in the center, roughly the size of a person. "Did you-?"

"We've got to go, in case she comes back." Lily said, avoiding his questions and pulling on his hands. "She might be able to climb, if she survived."

As Lily pulled him towards the door, he realized what she'd done and grinned, thinking in awe and admiration, _My mum is hardcore._

_

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_**Tadaaa. Finally, a mother and son moment! ;) **

**Well, I hope Redler was scary...I wanted him to be. Because I'm horrible like that. **

**Please review. Tootles!**


	27. Let me light up the sky,

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad you all liked it. :D And yes, to those of you who asked, Redler is one of those creeps who get all pervy with children. He's the kind of guy Chris Hansen would ask to take a seat right over there. /To Catch A Predator reference. And, not to get all graphic, but if Lily didn't come when she did...well, things would not have been pretty. Redler just needs to be on Dateline. Okay I'll shut up now.  
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**_My life down I shall lie _  
_ If the bogey-man should try _  
_ To play tricks on your sacred mind _  
_ There'll be blood on the cleaver tonight _  
_ And when darknesss lifts and the room is bright _  
_ I'll still be by your side, for you are all that matters _  
_ And I'll love you to till the day I die _  
_ There never need be longing in your eyes _  
_ As long as the hand that rocks the cradle is mine_

* * *

What Lily had been wishing of, dreaming of, praying for and fantasizing about every moment of her life over the last twelve years, was happening. Harry's brilliant green eyes were looking back at her as she knelt in front of him, every fiber of her being trembling with joy and excitement, and she pulled him into her arms and held him so tight but yet not tight enough, and found that he was trembling harder than she was. She realized it must have been because he was so scared, and her heart wrenched.

When she had ran into the room, she saw Harry backed against the wall, his eyes wide with terror, Redler breathing down his neck, his hand under Harry's shirt, getting ready to claw, and every other thought escaped her except for the thought of Harry being terrified and in danger. She ran forward without thinking, grabbed a glass bottle from a nearby shelf and cracked it over Redler's head so that he crumpled to the floor. Then as Harry fell to his knees and lost consciousness, Bellatrix charged forward. But Lily was faster than her. She raised her wand and shouted, "Impedimenta!" with so much force, it threw Bellatrix back against the window. The glass shattered on impact and Bellatrix teetered backwards, her hands grabbing at the air in a useless panic before she fell.

Then Lily ran to Harry, finding him slumped against the wall down on the floor, his arm bleeding and his fingers bruised. She sobbed as she touched his injured fingers and he winced even in his sleep. With shaking hands she healed his injuries, rage at Redler roaring in her mind and twinges of pain to her heart every time she thought of how much Harry must be hurting. Once he was healed, she tried Sidelong Apparating with him, but found that she couldn't; the wards were blocking her. Then she tried to rouse him, shaking his shoulders gently and touching his face. When his eyes didn't open, tears flowed down her cheeks and dripped onto Harry's. She had shouted, "HARRY, CAN YOU HEAR ME? COME BACK TO ME, HARRY, PLEASE HEAR ME, COME BACK TO ME!"

When he finally opened his eyes, the relief was so great she almost fell apart.

And now here she was, holding him, rubbing his back, whispering how much she loved him, kissing all over his face, her heart pounding with bursts of joy that spread warmth throughout her whole body. She was in a state of unbreakable euphoria that absolutely nothing could ruin.

But then she remembered that she probably hadn't killed Redler and he could wake up at any moment.

"We've got to go," She said. "We've got to get out of here now."

But when she looked at his face, she couldn't handle how beautiful he was; she had to lean in and kiss his cheek again. Then she took his hands and helped him stand up. But his eyes widened when he spotted Redler lying unconscious at the other side of the room.

"What happened to-" he started to ask.

But she stepped in front of him, blocking his view.

"It doesn't matter."

"Where's Bella-" He said before his eyes darted to the smashed open window at the other side of the room. And from the amazed look on his face, she could tell he understood. "Did you-?"

"We've got to go, in case she comes back." She took him by the hands and gently pulled him towards the door, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling at how impressed he looked. "She might be able to climb, if she survived."

Then she pulled open the door, checked the hallway to see if there was anyone out there, and motioned for Harry to follow her. The hall was dark and reassuringly silent, except for the sound of Harry's breath. With every step she took, she was wonderfully aware of Harry's presence beside her. When she wasn't looking around for Death Eaters, she was looking down at him, taking notice of his every little movement, her mind on the verge of exploding with everything she wanted to tell him, her arms aching to hold him again. But she knew there was no time to stop to talk, they had to keep moving before Redler woke up.

"Did you kill Redler?"

Lily almost jumped when his voice broke the heavy silence. And for a moment she barely registered his question, she just stared at him in amazement, marveling over the fact that he could form words into a tangible sentence. He hadn't even been old enough to talk the last time she saw him; he was only able to say things like "mummy" and "daddy" and sometimes he could mangle out Sirius' name. But now he was speaking clearly and coherently and it astounded her.

But as he continued to stare at her, waiting for an answer, she realized what he'd said.

"Oh - er - no. No, he's probably alive. That's why we've got to get out of here." Lily said. When fear showed in his eyes, she said quickly, "Don't worry, we'll probably be out of here before he wakes up, and I won't let him hurt you. I _would_ have killed him, I - I wanted to, but he was standing to close to you. If I ended up hurting you by mistake..." She quickly blocked out that horrible thought.

She could have killed Redler after she'd knocked him out; it would have been easy. But with Harry right there, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't want Harry to watch someone die, even if that someone was evil. And she especially didn't want her son to see her commit a murder. She cringed at the very thought of it.

But when Redler groaned down the hall, signaling that he'd regained consciousness, she started to regret her actions.

"Come on, run!" She whispered, grabbing his hand tightly before they took off running down the hall. A door slammed open behind them just as they reached the stairwell.

"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM ME!" Redler roared.

When they reached the floor below, they found a group of Death Eaters at the other end of the corridor, blocking the only exit. Once the Death Eaters spotted them, they came running with their wands raised. Lily grabbed Harry by the shoulder and pulled him close, her mind racing with panic. Redler's footsteps pounded on the stairs above, coming closer and closer, just as the Death Eaters were. However, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a big metal door that didn't have a handle: a storage closet where various potions, medical supplies and spare bedclothes were kept. The storage closets usually had protective wards only Healers could get through, to protect what's inside from any thieves.

"In here!" Lily pulled Harry over to the door and pressed her hand against the center; a moment later, the metal rippled before sliding open. She pushed Harry inside then came in after him. When she turned around to close the door, Redler was running towards it, his sickly face contorted with rage, the Death Eaters coming up behind him. In the group of Death Eaters, Harry recognized Kyro.

"HARRY! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY BELLATRIX LIKE THIS!" Kyro shouted. "I _KNEW_ YOU WOULD SOMEDAY! I NEVER WOULD, BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HER?" Harry shouted back.

A moment later, Lily grabbed the sides of the door and slammed it shut as hard as she could just as Redler crashed against it and three curses hit the metal.

Then it was quiet, the room lowering the sound from outside so that it sounded very distant. Harry's heavy breathing drowned out the muted shouts of Redler, Kyro and the Death Eaters outside the door. She sighed in relief and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright," She said, panting. "This room is safe, they won't be able to get in. You have to be a Healer to open the door."

"But what if they Imperius another Healer to open it?"

Her stomach dropped.

"Oh," She felt like she'd been slapped by her own stupidity. "Well - maybe they won't think to do that. Or maybe they'll get bored and move on to do something else."

But 'maybe' could go both ways. So she looked around the small, cluttered room at all of the overflowing shelves and stacks of boxes for something to jam the door with. A metal rod stuck out from a crate in the corner; she grabbed it and shoved it through the inside handle, which would hopefully make it harder to open.

"Okay," She said. "That should be able to stop them, if they even find another Healer. We'll be alright. We'll just have to wait it out until...the bloody Death Eaters sod off."

Harry laughed shakily.

"Don't be scared." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I'll never let them take you. Never again."

"I'm not scared." He said, his hand trembling inside of hers.

She smiled and touched his hair.

"I'm not." He insisted.

The moment stretched on into silence, no sound but their own heartbeats pounding in their ears.

"Are you really my mother?" Harry asked.

Her heart skipped a beat at his question.

"Yes," She looked down at him and genuinely smiled for the first time in twelve years.

And to her pleasant surprise, he stepped forward and hugged her, wrapping his arms around her tightly and burying his face in her neck. She laughed loudly and wholeheartedly, a sensation she hadn't felt since the day before he was kidnapped, and embraced him again, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"My name is Lily," She kissed his hair. "And you can call me that if you want, or you could call me 'mum', I mean I would love for you to call me 'mum' because, you know, I am your mum, but it's up to you, really, I'd understand if you'd just want to call me 'Lily'-"

"I'll call you 'Mum." He said and hugged her tighter.

She laughed again, her heart swelling with happiness and affection.

"I love you so much," She kissed his forehead. "I really do. I've loved you since before you were even born and I'll never stop." But then she pulled away and asked, "Wait - how did you know that I'm your mother? Did Bellatrix ever tell you?"

"No, Dad told me."

Lily's heart skipped a beat.

"Wait, what? Dad - your dad?" Lily's brow furrowed. "James?"

"Yeah, I met him. He's the one who found me." Harry started to explain. "Well, I met him at the Ministry, but I was wearing a mask, but then Bellatrix tried to kill me and he took the mask off me and brought me to Dumbledore but he was acting all weird and they took my blood and then he passed out or something, then Madam Pomfrey came and she was acting all crazy, then Dad woke up and he showed me the map-"

"Wait, I'm sorry, what? The - the map?"

"The Marauder's Map. And we went to Lestrange Manor, well, he tried to stop me and I didn't know why, but then we went anyway to get the horcrux-"

"A horcrux?"

"Yeah, but then he fell into a trap and the lights went out and then he was gone, and I went into a pensieve and I saw you and him and Sirius and Remus and Peter Pettigrew-"

"Peter?" Lily repeated angrily. "You know him? Has he talked to you? _Has he ever hurt you?_"

"I know him, and I talked to him once, but he hasn't hurt me. Well, Bellatrix tortured me and he was right there but he didn't help me-"

"WHAT?"

"-but he never actually hurt me. He lied to me though, I didn't listen to Bellatrix so he told me my parents wouldn't be proud, but now I'm sure that's probably a lie-"

"_PROBABLY _A LIE?" Lily struggled to remain calm though her twelve year old rage at Peter was surging through her veins. She took Harry's face in her hands and said earnestly, "Harry, that was _definitely _a lie. I'm so proud of you, and since you've met your dad I'm sure he's proud of you too, prouder than anything. Everything you do, everything you are, makes me so _so _proud, you couldn't possibly fathom how much."

Harry beamed, making Lily's heart flutter.

"You look so much like your dad when you smile." She whispered, mesmerized.

"He said I look like you." Harry said.

"You have my eyes." She grinned, her pride growing even more. "You have no idea how happy I was to see that, the first time I looked into your eyes moments after you were born..."

She ran her hand down the length of his arm and found his fingers, trapping them inside her own. She looked them over again, just to make sure they were alright, that her healing spell had truly fixed them.

"Does your hand hurt?" Lily asked.

Harry shook his head.

"Your fingers were sprained when I found you, but I healed them." She said. Then she asked a question she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to, "What happened, Harry? What did Redler do to you?"

He looked alarmed by this question, so she smiled timidly and said, "It's alright, I only want to know so I can help you."

"He pretended he was going to bite and scratch me," Harry said. "But he didn't. He stabbed my arm, and threw me into the wall. I tried to fight him so he bent my fingers back..." Lily gripped the edge of a nearby shelf as he spoke, her knuckles white and shaking. Harry hesitated, unsure of how to say what was in his head. He thought of how Redler held him down, his cold hand creeping under his shirt, trailing over his bare stomach and chest. He remembered how Redler kissed his neck as he writhed under the man's weight, unable to move. That scared him more than being stabbed. But how could he say that without sounding stupid? It would be embarrassing to admit that being kissed had terrified him more than being cut. But he took a deep breath and said it anyway. "He - he was kissing my neck. He had his hand under my shirt..."

The shelf Lily had been gripping snapped in half and collapsed to the floor, but she paid no mind to it. From the look on her face, she hadn't even noticed that she'd broken the shelf. Harry stopped talking at once, scared into silence by her murderous expression. Her jaw was set and her eyes had a furious glare he hadn't yet seen on her kind face. Then her expression rapidly shifted from rage to horror, disgust and concern. Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes widened, and Harry had the impression she was going to be sick. Then she was hugging him again, her arms enveloping him and holding him to her chest.

"He will never come anywhere near you again." She said hoarsely, her voice thick with suppressed sobs. "I promise."

"He's creepy."

"I know. But don't worry about him. I may not have been able to kill him, but as soon as your dad hears about this-"

"You're going to tell him?" Harry looked alarmed.

"Of course," Lily said. "Do you not want him to know?"

"He'll be mad at me."

"Mad at _you? _No, Harry, no, I can't imagine him ever being mad at you. He'll lose his head with rage, I'm sure, but not at _you._ He'll probably put Redler's head on a stake, after he's performed a thousand other illegal curses, but-"

"He _will_ be mad at me! He told me to stay with Professor McGonagall!"

"He did?" She looked surprised. "Then how are you here? How did you escape from her?"

Harry shrugged mysteriously.

"I came here because I was trying to find you." He admitted to Lily's shock. "Dad said he was coming here to find you and he told me to stay at Hogwarts, but I didn't want to, in case something happened. So I came here to find you myself."

"Oh no, Harry, this means what happened to you is my fault!"

"No, it's not."

"It is, Harry."

"It isn't! You couldn't have known. And besides, I do stupid things to nearly get killed all the time. It's not a big deal." Harry said.

"That _is_ a big deal, Harry!" Lily cried. "Please, please, _never_ do anything dangerous like this again! What if Bellatrix decided she wanted to kill you?"

"She didn't want to, she wanted to let Redler do it. But she told me she talked to you, though. Did you really talk to her?"

"She told you?" Lily's brow furrowed. "Yes, I did 'talk' to her. If you could call that talking. I sort of...roughed her up a bit, to get her to tell me where you are. I've been looking for you for about twenty four hours. She kept taunting me, claiming she knew where you were, but she'd never tell me where, until I gave her Veritaserum."

"She lied to me, then." Harry said. "She said you didn't want to see me."

Lily's heart dropped.

"She said _what?"_

"I told her I was looking for you, but she told me you didn't want to see me because I'm a Death Eater."

"That - that lying - evil-" Lily spluttered. "THAT IS THE _OPPOSITE _OF WHAT I SAID TO HER!"

Harry jumped at her outburst and looked astounded. Once her anger had subsided a small bit, she giggled nervously at the wideness of his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. It's just...she just...oh god, I _hate_ that woman." Then she knelt down before him and stroked the side of his face gently, "You are everything I've always wanted. I just need you to know this, because I doubt Bellatrix has ever told you how beautiful and wonderful you are, and you deserve to know that you are both of those things, and more."

Harry's heart swelled up and he was scared that he was going to cry. His face was tingling where she'd touched it and his whole body felt warm and light.

"So are you." He said once he finally found his voice.

Lily grinned.

"You're so sweet. How did you end up so sweet?" She cupped his chin in her hand and looked over his face, amazed by the little resemblances. "I promise I'll get us out of here, and then I'll find your dad and Sirius and Remus, then we'll go home."

Harry looked up at the word 'home', hardly daring to believe it. Could this be real? Did he actually have a home to go to, or rather, _return_ to? His pulse quickened, his heart alight with joy.

But before he could answer her, a zing of pain shot up his arm. It cut off his breath and made him dizzy for a moment, but he was more startled than scared. However, it soon happened again, and the second time was far worse. It was a sharp stab in the middle of his arm that surged up to his shoulder. He cried out and lost his balance, falling to his knees.

"Harry!" Lily knelt in front of him and held his shoulders. He looked up blearily, searching for her eyes, but everything looked blurry and distorted. "What's wrong, love? Are you hurt?"

The pain that came next was excruciating. It felt like someone was taking an ice pick to his bone and hitting it with a sledgehammer, shooting waves of his pain up his arm to his neck, where it was starting to throb. He hunched over and gasped, the sheer agony making him dig his fingernails into his palms until they bled. He shuddered and gnashed his teeth together, wanting to scream, a pressure building inside his head -

"HARRY!" She shouted, gripping his forearms.

He cringed, his head reeling from the sound. She probably hadn't shouted very loud, but to him it sounded like a scream right in his ears, battering his eardrums.

"Harry, please tell me what's wrong! What's happening to you?"

"Bellatrix is alive," He whispered through gasps of pain. "She's - she's cursing me-"

He meant to say more but was cut off by his own cry of anguish, the pain spreading to his chest, feeling like knives were piercing through his ribs and impaling his thumping heart.

"No, no, she's not here," Lily said, her hands running over his arms, neck and head, as if trying to find the source of the pain. When her fingers ran across his wrist, he thought he might have imagined the pain stopping a little. But it started back up again as soon as her hand moved away. "She's gone, Harry, she's -"

"There's a mental link-" Harry said, cringing and trying not to cry out again; every time he did he felt weak and stupid. "between me and her - when she's unconscious she can see in my mind - and torture me from far away-"

"Oh god," Lily pressed her hand to her mouth, remembering what Bellatrix had said about that_: 'Remember when you knocked me out a few minutes go? Well, you see, the Dark Lord recently set up a mental link between our Dark Marks, allowing me to see into Harry's mind whenever I'm unconscious...Poor boy, though, it causes him great pain every time I do.' _She racked her brain for anything that could make it stop, but all of her knowledge of Healing seemed to escape her; all she could focus on was the fact that Harry was in pain. His tortured gasps stabbed her like knives, digging into her heart every time his breathing hitched. She'd never felt so useless in all her life. "How do I stop it?"

"Madam Pomfrey gave me a needle -" Harry summoned up enough strength to say.

"A needle! Okay! Um, there might be one-" Lily stood up and looked around the small room frantically. It was a storage closet in a hospital; there had to be a needle around somewhere, didn't there?

"No, don't!" Harry seized her arm and looked up at her with pleading, red-rimmed eyes. "D-don't -"

_Harry, come outside,_ a voice broke into his mind.

"Did you s-say something?" Harry stammered, looking up dizzily. He was seeing double, everything blurring together. There were two Lilys in front of him and he wanted to reach out to her, but he couldn't tell which one was real.

_Harry, open the door and come outside,_ the voice repeated, louder this time. _There is something out there for you.  
_

"What's out there?" Harry asked.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, holding her hand to his forehead. "Have you got a fever-?"

_Ignore her, just open the door and go outside. You want to. You really want to, _it coaxed. _It's better out there. The pain will stop out there._

Harry shook his head wildly.

_No! My mum is in here, _Harry thought. _I'd rather be in pain than be without her..._

_Your mum needs you to go outside, _the voice said. _You'd be helping your mum by going out there..._

_Really?, _he thought.

_Yes, really, _the voice said. _She's only in danger because she's with you. If you go outside, Redler and the other Death Eaters will leave her alone. __  
_

He realized the voice had a point.

"Harry, please answer me!" Lily begged.

Harry looked at the door, conflicted and confused.

_I've had enough of this, _the voice in his head suddenly sounded darker, trading in its coaxing tone for a demanding one. And then, with so much power and force he barely knew what hit him, the voice said: _STAND UP, TAKE THE ROD OUT OF THE DOOR HANDLE, AND GO INTO THE HALL.  
_

He got to his feet unsteadily, staggered into the door, fumbled around with the rod before pulling it out -

"What are you doing? NO, HARRY, DON'T-"

But it was too late. Harry had opened the door and stumbled into the hall. He had only taken one step into it before Lily caught him by the shoulders. At first he wanted to let her pull him, wanted to let himself be dragged back into the room, where he knew it was safer - but then some other forced seized control of his mind and forced him to hurl himself forward, breaking free from his mother's grip and crashing to his knees on the floor in the middle of the hallway. It was surprisingly and suspiciously empty; Redler, Kyro and the Death Eaters were nowhere to be seen.

"Harry! What's wrong with you? We've got to get back inside-"

That small bit of his mind that remained conscious agreed with her; they really should go back inside the room. But the unknown force seemed to have taken over his entire body and was dictating his movements. If his body were a car, it was like he was no longer driving; someone had thrown him to the backseat, where he could watch but couldn't control anything. So even though he was trying to order his legs to make him stand up and run back to the room, they wouldn't obey. That was when the terror of what was happening started to sink in, making his heart race with panic.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a knife lying on the floor a few feet away, glinting in the torchlight. When the force inside his head made his arm reach for it, his stomach gave a horrified lurch. In a robotic way, his fingers curled around the handle of the knife and lifted it up, then he rose to his feet against his will.

The small conscious part of him was struggling desperately to let go of the knife, but it was as useless as trying to control someone else's body.

"Harry, put the knife down," Lily said gently, her eyes wide in her pale face. "It's alright,"

Her coaxing almost made the knife slip from his fingers, and he almost regained control, but the force in his head pushed him to the back again and pulled on the reins of his mind. He wanted to run to her and throw himself into her arms, and he wanted to yell _"help me!" _but his lips were stuck together and didn't respond to his attempts. Then, without warning, the force raised Harry's hand and made him slash the knife across his wrist.

"HARRY, NO!" Lily dove forward but his arm that held the knife jerked forward, almost cutting her with it. The conscious part of his mind exploded with guilt and horror. But despite the fact that he almost stabbed her, she made to reach for him again.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" He shouted, his own self having finally broken through the barrier that had prevented him from speaking.

"Harry, it's okay, I'll help you-"

"GET AWAY!"

"No, Harry, I'm going to help you-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU BUT THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE ME! PLEASE, GO-"

Harry's shout was cut off immediately once the force regained control. He was thrown to the back again and someone else was in control once more.

"Who?" Lily asked. "What's happening to -"

Then her eyes widened.

"Oh no! You're being Imperiused!" She whispered, her face blanching.

_WHO ARE YOU?, _He screamed inside his head. _WHAT DO YOU WANT?_

_There's no need to be rude, _an icy voice slithered into his mind, freezing his insides and making his blood go cold. _Especially considering there's a very sharp knife in your hand and I control your every movement._

_GET OUT OF MY HEAD, BELLATRIX! _He thought again, trying to block her out using one of the Occlumency tricks Lucius Malfoy taught him two years ago. He imagined a door that represented his mind, and then he imagined Bellatrix standing behind it, and pictured himself slamming the door in her face. But then it all seemed to backfire; there was a burst of pain from somewhere in the middle of his head and the floor seemed to drop out from beneath him. He was falling backward, the glowing orbs of light from the torches swimming over his head. Then he hit the floor and a wave of pain washed over his skull before running down his back.

Then he saw his mother's face looking down at him, her green eyes huge with concern and fear. His ears were ringing so loudly he couldn't hear her voice, but he could see her lips mouthing his name over and over again.

Even if he could control his own body, he probably wouldn't have been able to speak.

Then the force gripped him so tightly he thought his bones were going to shatter. A pressure started to build inside his head, increasing steadily by the second until it became so unbearable he screamed out loud, his head jerking backward and his back arching off the floor. His eyes were streaming, his head felt like it was going to crack open down the middle; it was like two iron hands were squeezing it. There were so many tears in his eyes he could barely see his mother's face looking down at him; it was like he was just looking up at a blurry watercolor painting of a woman.

Through the agonizing pressure in his entire body, he felt her gentle hands on him, and underneath all of his loud screams he heard her sobbing and attempting healing spells.

Then the pain stopped abruptly, leaving behind a dull echo, and his hand grabbed the knife again before trying to slash open his wrist. Lily screamed and grabbed his hand, wrestling with his fingers, trying to pry them away from the knife. Then he shoved the blade towards her, coming so close to stabbing into her stomach, but she jumped away just in time.

_STOP! _He screamed in his mind. _STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME-_

_Are you trying to tell me what to do? _The voice asked with an amused tone.

_DON'T MAKE ME HURT HER, PLEASE! MAKE ME CUT MY OWN WRISTS, I DON'T CARE, JUST DON'T MAKE ME HURT HER-_

_Oh, but Harry, that's just what I was about to do._

As Lily leaned closer to Harry, trying to grab the knife again, his hand that held the knife moved forward, the blade aiming right for her heart. But then she grabbed his wrists in a surprisingly tight grip and pinned them to the floor. As he continued to writhe and struggle to break free, she held him down by the shoulders.

There had never been a moment in his entire life when he wanted to die so much. With the combined effects of the pain and someone controlling his body to make him try to stab his mother, and having his mother hold him down like that, he really just wanted to be killed already. He so badly wanted to use the knife to stab himself, as long as it meant he couldn't hurt his mum. If she hadn't hated him for being a Death Eater before, she'd surely hate him now, and so would his dad, and so would Sirius and Remus. And if his family hated him and Bellatrix wanted him dead, what would be the point of living? What would be the point of fighting?

As if some animal was fighting to break out of his body, he jolted upright so hard he broke free of Lily's grip. His fingers twitched around the knife, the force in his head preparing to attack again.

_NO, I WON'T DO IT! I WON'T HURT HER! _He thought with so much force it rattled his brain and temporarily knocked the force out of balance. His own self was back in control, however temporarily. He wasted no time thinking about what to do. He grabbed the knife with both hands and bent it back as far and as hard as he could, the blade cutting into his palm as the wooden handle started to flex under the pressure. Then the blade separated from the handle and snapped in half. Lily quickly grabbed the broken pieces and tossed them over her shoulder where they disappeared into the darkness.

He was relieved, for a moment, that the knife was gone and Bellatrix, or whoever was in his head, couldn't try to make him use it to hurt his mum anymore. But he couldn't be relieved for too long. The pressure in his head returned almost immediately, just as bad as it had been before.

"I'm sorry!" He said, squeezing his eyes shut as a wave of pain rolled over him again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Shh, shh, don't worry about that," She held his face in her hands, her voice quavering. He could feel that her hands were shaking. "It's not your fault, don't worry-"

A wave of pain crashed over him again, so strong that he couldn't even speak and he barely knew where he was. All he could feel was this _thing_ inside of him, twisting through his stomach, worming through his veins, snaking into his head and digging its claws into the sides of his mind and holding it in a crushing grip. The pain was so strong he could no longer feel his mother's hands on him, and it made him wonder if she was even there with him anymore, or if she'd left him.

Along with the unbearable pressure building up in his head and the squeezing sensation over his whole body that felt like a truck was slowly running him over, he was hit with a flood of horrible images, some of them his own memories and some of them unfamiliar: Bellatrix's face grinning sadistically, grabbing his small, six-year-old wrist and dragging him over to a closet and slamming him into darkness, prisoners screaming on the dungeon floor, himself lying on the dungeon floor while Bellatrix's fists rained down on his back, her screams in her ears, then another memory of him telling her he wanted parents for Christmas when he was little and her cruel laughing response, his father gasping in pain as Bellatrix Cruciated him, Redler's hand under his shirt, breathing in his ear, kissing his neck. Then there were scenes Harry didn't recognize, but they were just as horrible: his mother lying on a bed somewhere, kicking and screaming and sobbing, tearing at her hair, then there was his father slumped down at the floor, his face buried in his hands as his shoulders shook with sobs. What was happening? What were these scenes he was seeing?

The images dissolved away and were replaced by another one: a gaunt, skeletal face staring down at him with slitted red eyes, the snakelike face alight with sadistic pleasure. His heart missed a beat, his breath stopping in his throat, his insides freezing over with dread.

"Voldemort," He whispered, his voice coming out in a weak breath.

Lily's hands gripped his shoulders so tight. he felt it through all the pain.

_She thinks she can protect you, _Voldemort laughed inside Harry's head. _The mudblood protected you from Redler, from Bellatrix and from my other Death Eaters, but no one can protect you from me. The others have failed to kill you, and Bellatrix has failed to kill your mudblood mother, but I will kill both of you now. There's another knife down the hall, all I have to do is make you go get it...  
_

_I'll fight against it, I won't let you make me, _Harry thought.

But then his head jerked to the side violently, bashing against the floor, making him cry out.

_You can't even stop me from toying with you for my own amusement, _Voldemort said. _How will you stop me from making you do something against your will? You got lucky when you managed to break the knife. You won't be so lucky again. Don't you see, boy? Haven't you noticed? Your life is mine. Your whole existence belongs to me, it always has, from the moment you were born. You were destined to die at my hand. When Bellatrix suggested the idea of raising you as a Death Eater, she wasn't preventing your death, only delaying it. It's inevitable that I kill you. I only kept you alive all these years out of curiosity and amusement; I wanted to see how strong you could become, and I wanted to see you suffer at Bellatrix's cruel, unloving hands. But I had always been planning on killing you. _

_Why? _Harry asked. _Why me? _

_Because you and I are exactly the same. The only difference is, your parents love you, while mine never did. _

_That doesn't make sense, _Harry thought. _Well, the part about us being the same makes no sense. But the part about your parents never loving you makes perfect sense. Who could ever love you? You're a monster._

"Harry, can you hear me?" Lily asked frantically.

He tried to answer her but the pain in his head increased suddenly; he threw his head back and cried out again, clenching his fists. But then it all stopped once Lily grabbed his wrist. The pain stopped so suddenly, he hadn't even realized it stopped until moments later. Then he laid there on the floor, his chest rising and falling heavily, hair sticking to his sweaty face, afraid to move in case the pain started up again.

_I'll be back, _Voldemort whispered in his mind.

The next moment, Lily swept Harry into her arms and held him so tight it felt like his head was going to pop off. Her fingers wove through his hair gently, making Harry feel absolutely horrible. Why was she being so gentle and affectionate with him even after he almost stabbed her? _Voldemort _had been inside of him. Voldemort had tainted him. He felt so dirty and impure lying in his mum's arms after what he'd almost done to her. With each gentle stroke of her hand down his back, his guilt increased exponentially until he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't deserve to be held like this.

He broke free of her arms and scrambled to his feet, the room swaying around him as soon as he stood up. He didn't know where he was going to go, but he couldn't stay with Lily, not after what had happened. Voldemort could come back and try to make Harry do it again. He couldn't risk it.

But as soon as he started walking away, Lily grabbed his wrist and said, "Where are you going? Stop!"

"I can't stay here." He said.

"Well, of course you can't stay here, it's dangerous! But why are you walking away from me?"

"I have to go."

"Where? Where do you have to go?"

"Away from you!"

His words lashed her heart like a whip, making her stop.

"Why?" She asked.

"I can't be near you! I can't risk anything happening to you!" He let the words come pouring out along with his tears. He covered his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around, forcing him to face her, then pried his hands away from his face so she could look into his tear-filled eyes. "I almost stabbed you, Voldemort made me try to stab you, and he'll do it again!"

"He's gone now, Harry! You're fine!" She said.

"No, he'll come back! And if I'm with you, he'll try to make me hurt you!"

"We can stop him from possessing you! There are ways of Occlumency-"

"Occlumency wouldn't work against him! As long as I've got this mark-" Harry pulled up his sleeve, revealing the Dark Mark. "-he can get to me easily! And there's no way to get rid of it!"

"OH MY GOD!" She exclaimed. And although Harry had expected her reaction to the mark, it still hurt for him to hear it. She seized his wrist and stared at it with wide eyes, horrified. "WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY SCARS?"

"Wait, what?"

"YOUR WRIST IS _COVERED _WITH SCARS!"

"But you're missing the point, I have the _Dark Mark-"_

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE BLOODY MARK, I WANT TO KNOW WHO GAVE YOU THESE SCARS!"

"B-Bellatrix." He stuttered. "But I've got the Dark Mark. Aren't you mad?"

"I figured you would," She sighed. "From the moment I realized you were alive and the Death Eaters had kidnapped you, it occurred to me that they might have given you the mark. But I could never be mad at you. I am mad, yes, but definitely not at you."

Harry was instantly reminded of what James had said about the mark:_ 'I'm not mad, Harry. At least not at you.'_

"But the mark doesn't bother me as much as _this_ does," Lily said, running her fingers along the interweaving scars. "Bellatrix gave all of these to you? Oh, I wish she was still alive so I could tor - I mean, so I could _tell_ her a few things. Was there anyone else?"

"Rodolphus," Harry swallowed. "And..."

"And?" Lily repeated, trying to remain patient, although it was hard to with a long row of scars on Harry's wrist staring her in the face. She wanted the names of those who did it and she wanted them now.

"...well, _I _made some of the scars." Harry admitted reluctantly.

Lily felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She would have _preferred_ being slapped.

"_You_ did?" She whispered. "You did this...to yourself?"

He nodded.

"Oh, Harry! Why?" She cried. "Were you being Imperiused? Did Bellatrix make you do it?"

Harry shook his head.

"Then why would you hurt yourself? Why would you ever do this, honey? Why -" Her breath hitched sharply in her throat when she was hit with the image of Harry taking a knife to his own skin; Harry, her baby, her sweet, innocent son, taking a knife to his perfect flesh and marring it. She was so horrified and plagued with so many horrible questions, she didn't even know what to say or where to start. Self injury was something she'd seen before as a Healer, with attempted suicides and wizards who used the Cutting Curse on themselves. But she had no idea what to say about her own son purposely injuring himself. It wasn't something she'd ever expected she's have to deal with, and knowing that he had ever gotten to a point where he wanted to hurt himself and she hadn't been there to help him through it, made _her_ want to injure herself. "What made you do it?"

"I was just trying to get rid of the mark." Harry said. "I was sick of looking at it and Bellatrix kept saying there was nothing I could do to get rid of it, but I tried anyway. I thought if I cut my wrist over the mark, it might somehow get rid of it. But it didn't. It just made me bleed."

"Promise me," She took his wrist and looked him straight in the eyes. "_Promise me_, you'll never, _ever_ do anything like this again. If you ever need help, I'm here for you, and so is your Dad, and Sirius and Remus. We're your family. We all love you so much. No matter what's wrong and no matter what happens, we'll help you and we'll get through it together. As for this Dark Mark, there _is_ a way to get rid of it. Anything's possible."

"What makes you think that?"

"There was a time in my life, not too long ago, when I thought you were gone forever. But now you're here with me, living and breathing. You are, quite literally, _living_ proof that anything is possible." Lily answered. "And if you'll stay with me instead of leaving because you think it's for my own good, you would make me the happiest person alive."

"But what if Voldemort comes after me?" Harry asked. "I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to die for me."

"I wouldn't mind dying for you." Lily smiled and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Because there'd be no point in living without you."

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**Thanks for reading! I do hope you'll review as always, my lovelies. 3 I'll try to update again within the next few days. I'm considering writing some sort of Christmas chapter, too, maybe. Just to get into the Christmas spirit. Okay bye now! :)**


	28. Light it up for you,

**Hello there my lovely readers. I'm terribly sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been so busy with vacation and laziness and Christmas and laziness. Well, here you go.**

**

* * *

**

_I will never let you fall_  
_I'll stand up with you forever_  
_I'll be there for you through it all_  
_Even if saving you sends me to Heaven _  
_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay_

* * *

Sirius stood in the middle of the hall, rooted to the spot, taking gasps of air that never quite filled his lungs. Every breath of air to his lungs was a sharp pain to his heart as he realized he had failed at the only thing that mattered, which was protecting the ones he loved. And the boy he loved more than anything had just run off, Redler cutting through the darkness behind him. Sirius had tried to run and find him, he'd called out Harry's name but got no reply. And now different hallways and doorways spread out in front of him, and he just didn't know which one to continue down. Harry could have gone down any of them.

"He's gone, Sirius, we won't be able to find him-" Flaherty grabbed him by the shoulder.

"No!" Sirius said, shaking Flaherty off. "We've got to keep looking, he must be down here somewhere-"

"Remus, talk some sense into him." Paleski said, holding onto Sirius tightly so he couldn't run off.

But Remus looked choked up and shaken, and he seemed to want to run off to find Harry just as much as Sirius did.

"Alright, let's think about this rationally." Paleski said. "If we wander down any of these hallways, we could get killed by Death Eaters."

"We're _Aurors, _in case you've forgotten." Sirius snapped. "We're not cowards, we don't run away from Death Eaters. It's our bloody _job_ to fight them and protect people from them. And right now it's James' own son, my _godson_, that we've got to protect, and you lot just want to stand around here?"

"Well, Sirius...does he really need our help?" Flaherty said. "I mean, he just took on a _lot _of Death Eaters on his own, and he practically gouged Redler's eyes out. He seems like he knows how to handle himself."

"He's only thirteen! And even if he _does_ know how to handle himself, I don't care! We've got to find him!" Sirius yelled. "What are you all waiting for?"

"He probably Apparated already." Mile suggested.

"He knows how to Apparate?" Remus looked appalled.

"Alright, everyone, let's just settle down and think here." Scrimgeour interrupted. "This place is big, and it also happens to be dark. Redler won't be able to find him easily."

"Redler can find anyone!" Sirius said angrily. "Have you never read about him before? Dark Wizards have _paid_ him to track people down, because he's so good at it!"

"Yes, but still, if the boy knows how to Apparate-"

"ALL OF YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS!" Remus suddenly shouted, shocking everyone so much they jumped. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO HARRY IF REDLER CATCHES HIM? _DO YOU? _REDLER IS A BLOODY WEREWOLF! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF DOING, ESPECIALLY TO A CHILD?"

Everyone was silent at first, too stunned to even say anything. Then Takashi started to say, "Well, yeah, Remus. We do know -"

"NO, YOU DON'T! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE!" Remus yelled. "IF YOU DID, YOU'D ALREADY BE RUNNING AFTER HARRY!" Remus was shaking, his usually calm eyes darting around, glaring at everyone. Sirius stood there staring at him, mouth agape, at an apparent loss for words. Remus started off down one of the dark hallways and called over his shoulder, "Come on, Padfoot, let's go find Harry instead of wasting time being cowards."

* * *

James was wandering through the dark, thoughts of Harry and Lily being the light that kept him moving. He wasn't sure where he was going, or if he should look for Tonks or try to find his way to McNaughton's room, or if he should just leave. He had the horcrux tucked under his arm and was desperately hoping he didn't run into any Death Eaters, but more than anything he was hoping Harry was alright, and that McGonagall was keeping a close watch on him.

But as he was walking along in the silence, a voice startled him.

"Potter, how good to see you."

James raised his wand reflexively, illuminating the person in front of him. Grinning nastily from a doorway at the other side of the corridor was Redler, who had smears of dried blood down the side of his face and blood in the cracks of his dry lips. James cast a stunning spell, but Redler pulled a wand out of nowhere and deflected it.

"I haven't got any dog treats, if that's what you're after." James said.

Redler laughed dryly.

"That's fine. I already ate."

"I'm not afraid of you," James said. "Everyone else might be, but I'm not. You think you're a big bad wolf but you're really just an arrogant little puppy."

He cast another stunning spell, but Redler jumped away just in time.

"An arrogant little puppy, you say? Well, can most little puppies kill dozens of people and children?" Redler sneered. "Oh yes, I've killed countless amounts of people, and you will soon be next."

But James just looked unimpressed and unfazed. That is, until, he looked at the wand Redler held in his hand. The smirk fell off his face, his skin paled and his stomach dropped.

"That's Harry's wand." James' eyes went wide, the back of his neck prickling with fear. His heart started to beat faster as his palms began to sweat. Redler smiled at the frightened look on James' face, a look he hadn't thought James was capable of. "Why do you have my son's wand?"

Redler raised the wand and looked at it curiously, like he hadn't noticed he was holding it. Then James noticed something on the back of Redler's hand that made his insides go cold: a red, crescent-shaped mark imprinted right over the man's knuckles, bleeding heavily. It didn't take him long to realize it was a bite mark, and it made him extremely uneasy.

_It's fine, _he tried to tell himself. _Harry is at Hogwarts. This all must be a mistake. That might not even be Harry's wand. It's probably just a similar one. And that bite mark could be from anything...  
_

Redler followed James' gaze down to his hand, then grinned.

"Oh, I see you've noticed this...battle scar." He laughed. "Yes, it certainly has an interesting story behind it; a story of revenge and compensation. By the way, have you seen your son lately?"

There was a loud bang when James slammed Redler against the wall, his wand and common sense forgotten.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" He demanded furiously.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean." Redler snickered.

"_WHAT DID YOU DO?"_

Redler threw James backward and raised Harry's wand to shoot a curse. But James recovered quickly and shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

The wand flew from Redler's hand. Not a moment later, James pounced on him, knocking him down to the floor where he grabbed the man's throat and squeezed as hard as he could.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SON?"

Redler reached up and tried to claw James' face, but James grabbed his wrist and twisted it as hard as he could until the werewolf howled in pain. But moments later Redler started to laugh, unfazed by the pain. James twisted his wrist even further until he heard the bone snap.

Redler just kept laughing.

"Locomotor mortis," James said, locking Redler's legs together. "You're scared. I can tell. Go ahead, keep laughing. And you won't be laughing for long. I swear to god, pretty soon you'll be begging me to kill you-"

"James!" cried a voice from somewhere down the hall.

He was so stunned he momentarily let go of Redler. His heart started thumping loudly and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Could it be who he thought it was-?

Whirling himself around, he saw Lily standing in a doorway not even twenty feet down the hall, with Harry beside her. Relief greater than anything he'd ever felt washed over him.

"Harry," he choked out, suddenly grinning. Then his eyes moved to Lily's stricken face. "Lily! You're alright..." They were both staring at him, mother and son, their eyes matching each other's perfectly, as did their facial expressions. James had to laugh, although it sounded frantic and strained.

"James!" She said, so many different emotions evident in her voice; fear, relief, worry, joy. She looked choked up, like she didn't know what else to say.

"Harry," James said, his eyes raking over Harry's body from head to toe, looking for some sign that he'd been hurt by Redler. "Are you alright?"

Harry looked at him and seemed like he was going to say something, but then he spotted Redler slouched against the wall, grinning. Harry recoiled and moved back towards Lily, who wrapped her arms around him protectively and gave Redler one of the scariest death glares James has ever seen.

And just by that, all of his fears were confirmed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" James shouted at Redler, the wand shaking in his clenched fist. He grabbed Redler by the collar and yanked him to his feet, ripping his raggedy shirt. Redler raised Harry's wand and tried to say a curse, but James grabbed the hand that held the wand and bent his fingers back until Redler cried out in pain and fell back down to the floor.

"JAMES!" Lily yelled. He looked over at her and saw that her eyes were wide and desperate, and she was gripping Harry's shoulders tightly.

He gave one more look of loathing to Redler, pointed his wand down at the werewolf and said, "stupefy!" before rushing over to Lily and Harry.

"Harry," James dropped to his knees before him and ran his hands down the sides of Harry's face. He wanted to know why Harry was there, and he wanted to know what had happened, but both of those questions could wait. "Are you okay?"

Harry nodded.

"James, I've got to tell you something. Redler-" Lily started to say, but then stopped when she looked at Harry. "I'll tell you later."

James' heart dropped. How bad could it be that she didn't want to say it with Harry there? But then it occurred to him, _really_ occurred to him, that he and Lily and Harry were all together for the first time in twelve years; that Harry was safe for the moment and Lily knew about him and they were all going to be okay.

With an overwhelming surge of affection, he hugged Harry with one arm and pulled Lily in with the other. She wrapped her arms around both of them and beamed, and James nearly blown away by her smile; he hadn't seen it in years and almost forgot what it looked like.

"I love both of you so much," he said, looking from Harry's eyes to Lily's eyes and marveling over how they were exactly the same. "And I swear I'll make everything right."

"Everything is already right." Lily said with tears in her eyes.

"I know," he grinned. "But I mean I'll take down Voldemort, I'll take down all of these Death Eaters, and I'll take down anyone who threatens either of you."

"Oh _please_, Prongs. You're not doing all of that alone."

James nearly jumped out of his skin. He whipped his head around and saw Sirius and Remus standing behind him, both of them grinning from ear to ear.

"Padfoot, Moony - how'd you get here? How did you find us?" James jumped to his feet and threw his arms around both of their shoulders.

"Well, it's a funny story." Sirius patted him on the back. "Maybe we'll tell you later, because it's pretty - _Jesus Christ! _Is that Redler over there? It _is_ Redler! The bastard! Let's get 'em-"

"Wait, Sirius!" Remus grabbed Sirius by the shoulder. "This is not the time for that."

"Sirius!" Lily grinned. "I've never been so happy to see you! And Remus, I'm always happy to see you!"

"Hey!" Sirius cried indignantly. But then he spotted Harry and shouted, "HARRY, KIDDO! THERE YOU ARE! We've been looking all over for you!" He ran over and hugged Harry so hard it lifted him off his feet.

"Harry!" Remus smiled, pulling him out of Sirius' grip and giving him a much gentler hug. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Harry answered. "But -"

"BUT _NOTHING!" _Sirius exclaimed enthusiastically. "WE'RE ALL ALIVE AND THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS!"

"Stop shouting, Padfoot, someone will hear you!"

"Who's gonna hear me, Moony? The people who live in the walls? Or Sleeping Beauty over there?"

"I think 'The Big Bad Wolf' would be a more accurate way to describe him, actually."

"Nonsense, Moony." James said. "Redler is like that other wolf - the crossdresser wolf."

"What crossdresser wolf?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"You know, the one who ate all the porridge."

"You mean the one who dressed up as that bint's grandmother?" Harry suggested.

"Yes! See, Harry knows the one." James smiled. "The crossdresser who dressed up as that bint's grandmother and ate all the porridge."

"That was Goldilocks." Remus said.

"He ate Goldilocks too?" Sirius looked appalled.

"Yes, and the three bears." Remus said sarcastically.

"Oh, Merlin." Lily sighed. "We had better get going. I don't know how many Death Eaters are left, but it's not safe for Harry to be here."

"You're right. Sirius, Remus, you guys go with Lily and bring Harry home, and I'll just take care of Redler here." James said.

"Not alone, you're not!" Lily said. "Sirius, Remus, one of you stay with James and one of you come with me and Harry."

"Wait a second - you're not even objecting to this?" James' eyes widened. "You're going to let me torture -" he stopped when he remembered Harry was listening. "- I mean _beat _the living daylights out of Redler?"

"Yes, I am. In fact, I'm encouraging you to." Lily said.

James searched her face for some sign that she was being sarcastic, but her jaw was set and there was a hard glare in her eye as she looked over at Redler's unconscious body.

"Fine by me," James shrugged. "So who's staying?"

"I'll stay," Remus said quickly, before Sirius could even open his mouth.

"Really?" James, Lily and Sirius asked simultaneously.

"Yes, really."

"But you hate violence." James looked confused.

"I hate Redler more."

"Who are you and what have you done with Remus?" Sirius asked. "I'm liking this."

"Enough chatter! We've got to get Harry out of here!" Lily said. "Come on, Sirius! We've got to go!"

"Alright, alright." Sirius walked over to her and Harry.

"Wait a minute," James said before hugging Harry one last time. He murmured in Harry's ear, "Be safe, alright? Stay with your Mum and Sirius and I'll see you again soon." Harry nodded, and James kissed his cheek.

"Okay, now we've got to go," Lily choked out. Her voice was shaky now, and there were tears in her eyes and the widest smile on her face. She took Harry's hand and motioned for Sirius to follow them back down the hall towards an emergency exit door. "I'll see you soon, James."

"Yes, you will." He smiled.

He stood and watched until they reached the door and disappeared through it. Only then did he let out the breath he had been holding.

"Now what do we do?" Remus asked.

"Now we make Redler wish he never laid a hand on my son." James said.

"I've got an even better idea," Remus said. "How about we make him wish he had never even been born?"

"I like that," James nodded. "I like it a lot."

Remus stepped beside Redler's unmoving body, pointed his wand down and said, "Enervate."

Redler's eyes flashed open and he drew in a breath, only to have it knocked out of him when James kicked him in the chest.

"Good morning, Redler." James said pleasantly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"That's not what I wanted to hear." James tutted. "Well, Remus, what do you think we should do first?"

"I think we should find out what happened to Harry." Remus said. "And maybe rough him up a bit."

"Sounds like a plan!"

Redler sat up and swung his fist at James, who easily stepped out of the way.

"That was just stupid." James looked bored. He aimed his wand at Redler's chest and said, "Now, let's get to it. _Crucio!"_

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**Ta-daaa! A full reunion. Sorry it's so short, but I felt like I really needed to update. Review as always and it will make me happy. :D  
**


	29. Let me tell you why,

**Good evening, readers! Or good morning, depending on where you live. This chapter is sort of like a prequel, or maybe just a backstory. It's about Harry's life at Lestrange Manor before the story started, and I hope it clears up a few things about how Harry remained good despite being raised by Death Eaters, what happened to Rayden, etc. So here you go. :)  
**_

* * *

His little whispers, "love me, love me  
That's all I ask for, love me, love me"  
He battered his tiny fist to feel something  
Wondered what it's like to touch  
And feel something  
Monster, how should I feel?

* * *

_

_"I'm sorry."_ That's the first sentence Harry ever learned how to say, and "sorry" was the word he spoke most often in the first few years of his life.

_"I'm sorry I fell."_

_"I'm sorry I bled."_

_"I'm sorry I spilled my juice."_

_"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm sorry."_

"It's all your fault!" she'd snap. "Look what you've done now! You're always messing something up! Your parents would be disgusted!"

"I'm sorry." He'd say. The slightest movement of her hand would make him flinch, expecting to be hit. She'd move forward and he'd recoil in fear. "I know it's my fault."

"I know it's my fault!" She'd mock him in a squeaky voice. Then she'd storm out of the room, slamming the door behind her. _Click._ The lock would snap into place on the door. That click of the lock was the first noise Harry could ever remember hearing at Lestrange Manor, and was heard more often than music. Almost as often as he heard the prisoners screaming. And for a while, he thought the prisoners' screams _were _music. One night when Harry was four, Bellatrix was sitting in the dining room, drinking Firewhiskey, and Harry asked her what the loud screeching sounds were. She just smiled and said, "Music to my ears."

Harry didn't know what music really was until he was six years old and Rayden sneaked him out of the manor to go to a parade in the city one night. There were muggle bands playing in the streets and confetti was thrown from these big moving things on wheels. Rayden called the big moving things "floats."

"But they're muggles," He said to Rayden after a vendor had given them free candy and called Harry a 'cute little thing.' The kindness of the stranger left him downright confused, and the smiling faces of the muggles all around him only added to the confusion. Every person they walked past looked down at him and cooed about how adorable he was. "Why are they so nice?"

"Can I let you in on a little secret?" Rayden asked, looking down at Harry as fireworks lit up the sky behind him.

Harry nodded, the lights of the fireworks reflecting off his emerald irises, creating a hue of different colors in his eyes.

Rayden knelt down in front of him so that they were level with each other. The crowd pressed around them but never crushed them; it was as if the masses of people were guarding them from any Death Eaters who might be looking for them.

"Muggles," Rayden said, leaning in close so that he was just inches from Harry's face. "are not all bad."

The sky flashed red and gold over their heads. Harry's mouth dropped open in awe.

"But - but Bellatrix -" Harry's brow furrowed. "Bellatrix said-"

Rayden sighed and covered his face with his hand for a moment. Then he looked back up and said, "This might be hard to believe, Harry, considering all that she's told you, but Bellatrix is wrong. I know you love her, but -"

"Love?" Harry looked confused. "What's that?"

Rayden's face blanched, his eyes bulging with horror. His hands were shaking, Harry noticed curiously, and they kept clenching and unclenching. Green and silver fireworks bloomed across the sky above him.

"They can't do this to you!" Rayden said, his voice harsh with with sadness, anger and other emotions Harry was too young to understand. "They can't take love away from you! Just because they're incapable of feeling it doesn't mean they should stop you from knowing about it!"

"But what is it?" Harry asked. "What is love?"

"Love is when you care about someone more than you care about anything else in the world, and you want nothing more than for them to be happy." Rayden explained. "It's what makes the world go round."

"I thought magic made the world go round."

"Love is a form of magic. The most powerful of all."

"Then how come nobody's told me about it? If it's such a powerful form of magic, why hasn't Bella told me about it? Why hasn't Macnair tried to teach it to me in our lessons?" Harry wondered.

"Because they don't know what love is. They can't understand it and they can't feel it. That's what makes them such bad people." Rayden said.

"They're not bad!" Harry said then blinked, temporarily blinded by the yellow lights that exploded against the black sky. "They're good people! Especially Bella! Bella is good!"

Rayden sighed.

"Harry," He said softly. "Do you remember last October when I took you out for Halloween, and all those people were wearing costumes?"

"Yeah!" Harry said enthusiastically. "That was so cool!"

"Well, that's what Bella does. She puts on a costume, a disguise. She hides who she really is from you. The Bella you see is not the real Bellatrix. The real Bellatrix is...horrible." Rayden said. "Muggles are not bad people. Bellatrix has been lying to you."

"She wouldn't lie to me!"

"Would I lie to you?" Rayden asked, looking at him eagerly.

Harry was dumbfounded. Bellatrix would never lie to him - but Rayden wouldn't either. So what should he believe? He looked around him in confusion. Muggles were everywhere he looked, laughing, talking, grinning up at the fireworks and singing along to the bands that were playing. They all seemed so friendly, and very unlike the horrible, evil muggles Bellatrix always told him about.

"Excuse me," an old muggle woman tapped Rayden on the shoulder. "Is your little brother alright? Poor thing looks quite upset!"

"Oh, he's fine. But thank you for asking." Rayden said.

The old woman looked down at Harry and smiled, her warm blue eyes crinkling at the corners, filling Harry's stomach with warmth. And that was when Harry knew who to believe.

"I think you might be right." Harry said to Rayden. "I think I believe you."

Rayden grinned. A float went by them, and a man playing a flute threw a handful of blue and bronze confetti into the air; it rained down on Harry's head.

"But love...can I feel love? What does it even feel like?" Harry wondered.

"You can feel love. I know you can. You have a heart, and the Death Eaters can't take that away from you. I see the look in your eyes whenever Bellatrix is hurting one of the prisoners. You feel bad for them, and you want to help them but you don't know how. That just proves that you have a heart, and anyone with a heart can love." Rayden said. "As for what it feels like...well, it's hard to explain. When someone loves you, you can just feel it. You feel it like warmth from the sun. You don't have to ask them if they do. And when you love someone, it's so powerful you can't even describe it. But you know it's there. You know you love someone just like you know if you're breathing."

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked.

"It can hurt," Rayden answered. "Especially when someone you love is hurting. But it's worth every bit of pain, in the end. With love, everything you do, every mistake you make, will be worth it. You can look back and never regret a thing, just as long as the one you love is alright."

"But I'm scared," Harry said. "I'm scared of forgetting all this. What if I start to believe the Death Eaters again? What if I forget about love?"

"You might believe the things the Death Eaters say, and you might start listening to Bellatrix," Rayden nodded. "But you'll always find your way back to the truth. And you can't forget about love because it's not something you learn; it's something you feel. It's something that just happens."

"Here comes the grand finale!" A man shouted, pointing up at the sky.

There were green and silver fireworks at first, but then with a series of loud bangs, red and gold ones flashed all over the sky, popping up everywhere, drowning out the green and silver. The crowd cheered enthusiastically, and more people threw confetti. Rayden lifted Harry up on his shoulders. And as Harry rose above the crowd and looked around him at all of the people, he found himself in awe of this strange thing called 'love' he so recently found out about, and the brilliant truth that muggles weren't evil like Bellatrix said. It gave him a feeling of importance, like he was carrying a deep secret, and made him feel like he had a purpose now, although he was too young to understand what it was. Everywhere he looked there were couples kissing, family members hugging, friends cheering, and he felt like he had a pair of brand new eyes. He could see the love all around him; it was as clear as the colors of the fireworks. And if he listened close, he could hear it; just underneath the sound of the crowd and the bangs of fireworks. He could hear the love buzzing in his ears like a silent song.

A few people turned around and looked up at him and laughed, their lips mouthing words like, 'look at that little boy! How cute is he?' And the smiles of these strangers rang true, unlike the stiff ones Bellatrix had always given him. Their smiles made him feel strange; it gave him this tickly feeling in his spine. It made him realize how wrong everything he'd ever learned was, and made him feel overwhelmed by the truth; the wonderful truth that seemed to light up the sky.

However, the night didn't stay wonderful. Around three in the morning as they were sneaking back into the manor, Rayden accidentally triggered one of the wards. Bellatrix stormed out to meet them on the back lawn, grabbed Rayden by the neck and practically dragged him inside. Harry tried to follow them in, but Bellatrix snapped, "you can sleep out here tonight with the monsters" and slammed the door.

As Harry laid down in the cold, damp grass in front of the door, he found that he wasn't afraid to sleep outside in the dark. After all, the monsters were _inside, _not _outside._

The lesson he had learned at the parade that night did stay with him throughout the years, although it did get buried under blood purist propaganda from time to time. Every now and then he'd find himself starting to believe the cruel things Bellatrix said about muggles. But he'd always find his way back to the truth, just as Rayden promised. He kept his knowledge of the truth hidden, because it could be dangerous if anyone knew.

He sometimes even tried to purposely forget it, because forgetting that muggles weren't evil made life easier for him. It made it easier to sit and listen to Macnair lecture him about how horrible muggles are, it made it easier to stomach the screams of the prisoners, and it made it easier to live and breathe while knowing muggles were being killed by the same people who came to the manor every day, the people who sat at the dinner table with him.

But forgetting was essentially the same as pretending, and that's no way to live.

Rayden would always pull him back from the lies, as well. There were times when Bellatrix would be going off about how much she despises mudbloods, and Harry would laugh. But then Rayden would catch him by the arm and say, "Hey Harry, remember those fireworks a few years ago? Those were pretty spectacular, don't you think? Don't you remember?"

And then he would remember.

But other times he'd take Rayden's guidance for granted, and he'd snap at him and say things like, "I listen to Bella, not _you! _Muggles are filthy, you don't know what you're talking about!" He never knew what to think or what to believe. It was like there were two different people battling it out inside his head.

But there did come a time when he wished he had appreciated Rayden's advice.

* * *

It seemed like an average, cold, winter morning, but it wasn't. It was the start of the worst day of Harry's life. He climbed out of bed and got dressed alongside Rayden and Mile, putting on what he usually wore to training, which was just a blazer, slacks and combat boots. There were bags under his eyes; all night he'd been dreading the day's lesson, which would focus on curses that cause seizures. He knew Macnair would probably choose him to be the guinea pig for the lesson, and tell some of the other Junior Death Eaters to practice the curse on him. He was only eleven years old, which made him the youngest, the smallest and therefore the easiest to hold down while the others practiced their torturing skills. Except for Mile and Rayden, that is, who always tried to hide him behind the others so he wouldn't be picked.

Kyro, on the other hand, never hesitated to use curses on Harry. After the lessons were over, Kyro would say, "No hard feelings, of course, Harry? It was all purely educational, and I was just following orders."

There were still bruises on his back from the day before, when the class had practiced curses that feel like punches, and he didn't know if he could handle much more that week. He wished he could take a rest for a day before going back to training, but he knew Bellatrix would get angry if he asked. She'd probably call him lazy and give him a beating herself.

So he took his time getting dressed and walked extra slow down the stairs to meet the others in the drawing room. But before he could even enter the room, Rayden stepped out of it and blocked his path.

"Harry, there you are! I've been waiting for you!" Rayden said in a hushed tone. "I've got to talk to you."

"Now?" Harry asked. "I've got to go to training-"

"Yes, now. It's important!" Rayden said, his eyes burning with excitement. "Come on!"

He took Harry by the wrist and led him into a dimly lit stairwell down the hall where, to Harry's surprise, Mile was already waiting. Once inside, Rayden locked the door behind them and looked around to make sure no one was there besides the three of them. Harry's stomach was doing anxious flipflops. What was so important that it couldn't wait?

"Harry, Mile," He said with a grin. "I've got excellent news! _Really _excellent news, about both of you!"

"What is it, mate?" Mile asked.

"This might be very hard to believe, but neither of you were born-"

"-in the manor!" a shrill voice interrupted, making all of them jump.

At the top of the stairwell, half shrouded in darkness, was Bellatrix. The flickering candelabras all around the walls cast shadows across her features, making her look like a different person entirely. From where Harry stood, her eyes looked like gaping black sockets, and her face looked thinner than usual, almost skeletal.

"Neither of you were born in the manor," Bellatrix said with a stiff smile, taking a step down the stairs. "I know you might be under the impression that you were born inside these walls, but you were actually born elsewhere. St. Mungo's, probably." Her dark eyes looked down at Rayden. "Isn't that right, Rayden?"

Rayden's whole face went pale and he swallowed, looking around the stairwell at anything but her.

"_I said, _isn't that right, Rayden?" Bellatrix repeated lightly, her voice unusually soft. "Isn't that what you were going to tell them?"

"Y-yes," He stammered. "That's what I was going to say."

"Oh, that's good." She smiled before descending the rest of the stairs. "Because we don't want these two getting the wrong idea, do we?" She stood behind Harry and ruffled his hair gently. "Because then we'd have to _dispose of them, _those bad ideas. Wouldn't we?" Her hands traveled from his head down to his neck, where her fingers lightly trailed across his throat, her nails scratching against it. "And we don't want to have to dispose of anything, do we?"

Rayden's eyes watched her hands warily.

"No," He answered. "N-no, we don't. Hey, how about we let Harry run along to his training now? Mile, too. Don't want to keep Macnair waiting."

"Alright." Bellatrix's hands slipped away from Harry's neck. "But you're going to come with me and Lucius, Rayden. We've got some special training for you."

"You mean, Rayden can't come with me and Mile?" Harry asked.

"No, Harry. He can't. You see, you're going to be learning about some minor curses today. But Rayden here," Bellatrix said with a sly smile. "Rayden has to learn about the Unforgivables." Rayden's face went even whiter, and his mouth hung open. "The Killing Curse. And maybe the Cruciatus, if there's time."

"That sounds so cool!" Mile grinned. "Can I learn about them two?"

"Maybe some day." Bellatrix said. "But for now, you've got to go to your regular lesson. So go on, now!"

Mile scampered off towards the door, with Harry following slowly behind. By the time Mile was out the door and halfway back to the drawing room, Harry was only just opening the door to get out of the stairwell. He couldn't seem to make himself leave. Something wasn't right.

"Go, Harry!" Bellatrix snapped. "Now!"

He looked over at Rayden, as if waiting for a final answer.

"It's alright, Harry." Rayden forced a smile. "Go to your lesson. But remember what I said. Remember what I always said."

"GO, HARRY!" Bellatrix shrieked.

He reluctantly stepped out of the stairwell and shut the door behind him. As he walked back to the drawing room, his insides felt rattled. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. The terrified look on Rayden's face wouldn't leave his mind. Something just wasn't right, and he was dying to run back to the stairwell and ask Rayden what was wrong. But Bellatrix was there, and it seemed like there was something she didn't want Harry to know. So what could he do?

Macnair's lesson was more horrible than ever, without Rayden there. He ordered Kyro to hold Harry still while another Junior Death Eater practiced a curse on him. The whole thing just didn't go over well. He was already jumpy about what happened in the stairwell, so when Kyro came at him, he panicked and punched him in the face. Kyro staggered back, blood spouting from his nose, then a look of fury crossed over his features. Before Harry could jump out of the way, Kyro pounced on him, knocking him down and bashing his head against the floor. While stars spun across Harry's vision, Kyro grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the floor.

"GET OFF ME!" Harry thrashed around under Kyro's weight. "GET OFF!"

"Stop moving, Harry!" Macnair shouted. "Cooperate with Kyro or I'll hold you down myself!"

"RAYDEN, HELP!" Harry shouted. He elbowed Kyro in the face, which threw him off for a moment, and rolled over onto his side, facing the door. "RAYDEN! CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

The other Junior Death Eaters watched, some of them looking a bit frightened, some of them looking amused. Just then, Mile fled from the room.

"MILE, GET BACK HERE!" Macnair yelled.

But Mile's footsteps kept pounding down the hall outside, sounding more and more distant. Harry once again tried to shake off Kyro's grip, but had the wind knocked out of him when Macnair's booted foot came down on his chest. While he choked and gasped for air, Kyro grabbed his wrists and held them together. Another Junior Death Eater came forward and grabbed his legs."\

"Now let's begin the lesson, shall we?" Macnair said. "The curse we're learning about today is a personal favorite of mine. It causes the victim to have a horrible seizure. When done correctly, it should look like this."

The next thing Harry knew, his entire body tensed and every muscle cramped up. Then it was like all of his limbs went out of control. His head bashed against the floor repeatedly, as did his elbows as his arms and legs jerked around. One moment he was looking up at the ceiling, the next his eyes were rolling into the blackness at the back of his head, and he couldn't seem to breathe. It was like he was grasping for the air but it kept slipping away.

And then it suddenly stopped. He rolled over onto his side and took big gulps of air, his hair sticking to the sweat on his face. Every muscle ached and trembled. Macnair was saying something but he couldn't hear the words; the ringing in his ears was too loud. Kyro was kneeling over him, smirking.

Mile stood in the doorway, looking horrified and trying to tell him something. Harry had to read his lips to understand what he was trying to say.

_"I looked for him. He's gone."_

Then Harry fell back against the floor, everything going black around him.

He woke up in his bed later, feeling sore and horrible. But the physical pain wasn't what made him feel horrible. It felt like there was this weight of anxiety sitting on his chest, like there was something bad he was forgetting.

"Feeling better?" Mile asked from his bed across the room.

Harry sat up, his arms shakily supporting his weight.

"Where's Rayden?" He asked hoarsely. His throat felt dry.

"He didn't come back yet," Mile answered. "He's still with Bellatrix and Lucius."

"Where'd they go?" Harry climbed out of bed, the room swaying dizzily around him. He grabbed onto the top bunk of the bed to steady himself.

"I don't know," Mile shrugged. "They just went off to practice the Unforgivables somewhere."

"Hopefully killing some muggles," Kyro said from his bed with a nasty grin. "And torturing them, too."

Harry's stomach clenched unpleasantly.

"He had to tell us something, Mile and me," Harry said. "He had to tell us something important, but Bellatrix interrupted us."

"You?" Kyro sat upright. "Why would he want to tell _you _anything? What could you possibly need to know?"

"Well, I don't know, because _Bellatrix bloody interrupted us-"_

Kyro stood up and balled his fists, but stopped when there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" they heard the unusually soft voice of Bellatrix from the hallway. "I've got to talk to you boys."

"Er - yeah." Mile raised an eyebrow. He turned to Harry and whispered, "Why is she bothering to knock? She usually just barges in-"

The door opened slowly and Bellatrix crept into the room, smiling faintly. There was a strange glimmer in her eyes, like she was excited about something, and she held a glass of water in her hand.

"Good evening," She said, looking around at them all.

"Good evening, Bella!" Kyro grinned. "How are you?"

"Good, Kyro, good," She said breezily. "But I'm afraid I've got some bad news..."

"Where's Rayden?" Harry demanded.

Bellatrix looked at him sharply.

"What?" She snapped.

"I said, _where's Rayden?" _He repeated.

"I don't like your tone, Harry." She narrowed her eyes. "And if you don't mind, I was just getting around to that, if you would just let me finish."

Harry's mouth snapped shut.

"As I was saying, I'm afraid I've got some bad news." She stepped forward, looking up at the top bunk behind Harry's head, where Rayden always slept. "There's been a bit of an accident today, while Lucius and I were training Rayden. You see, we were teaching him the fine art of the Unforgivable Curses, and he was picking up on them quite well, I must say. But poor Rayden was a bit distracted, probably because of you boys' conversation this morning, and he got in the way while I was demonstrating a Killing Curse..."

Harry's heart started pounding. What was Bellatrix trying to say? He didn't like where this was going. His palms started to sweat, and his grip on the bed started loosening. His knees were shaking; he thought he was going to fall.

"Rayden is dead."

It was silent at first, and in that silence was more meaning than anything Harry had ever heard or spoken. It seeped into the cracks of the floorboards and into every corner of the room, drenching everything, until it was a deafening roar in their ears. Bellatrix stood completely still, a faint smile playing at her lips, but none of them noticed; they were too busy listening to the silence and trying to think of what could fill it, but there was nothing to say. Words were meaningless at this point.

"NO!" Kyro shouted. "HE CAN'T BE!"

"I'm sorry, Kyro. But I wouldn't lie to you, would I?" Bellatrix asked.

Harry looked up at her. She looked over at him.

"Harry," She said softly. "Harry, Harry, Harry. My sweet little Harry. You look quite pale. Are you feeling ill?"

He didn't answer her. He only looked around the room, as if trying to find something that could assure him that this was all just a dream, that this wasn't really happening.

"Come with me, Harry." She held out her hand. "We need to talk."

He took her hand reluctantly, letting her yank him to his feet. She pulled him across the room towards the bathroom and led him inside, shutting the door tight behind them. The bathroom was all green and black marble, and was dimly lit with a few candelabras. She made him sit down on the counter by the sink and handed him the glass of water she had been holding.

"Harry," She said. "Are you feeling alright?"

He only stared at her.

"I know it's hard to believe. It was just so sudden and unexpected," She sighed and rested her hand on his knee. "But it'll be alright. You'll get over it. Don't feel so sad."

"I'll get over it?" He repeated, staring at her blankly. "I shouldn't feel so sad? Then how _should _I feel?"

"Feel happy it wasn't you. And yes, of course you'll get over it. Death is a bad thing, but you know, you forget about the ones who died and move on with your life." She said in what she obviously thought was a soothing tone.

"I don't want to forget about him," Harry said quietly, his lips barely moving. He stared at a point on the wall behind Bellatrix's head, as if looking for answers there. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." Bellatrix said. "So chin up!"

"Bella?" He looked up at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," She said. "What is it?"

He hesitated, his breath catching in his throat. The question was fighting to get out of him, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Do you love me?"

Bellatrix looked startled.

"Excuse me?" She laughed. "Do I _love _you? That's your question, is it?"

"Rayden said...when someone loves you, you feel it like warmth from the sun, and you don't have to ask if they do." Harry said nervously.

"If he said you don't have to ask, then why are you asking?"

"Because I'm hoping he's wrong. I'm hoping you really do have to ask. Because I don't feel it. I don't feel warm." Harry's breath started coming as jagged gasps. He squeezed his eyes shut and hot tears streaked down his face. "I feel cold all the time."

"Then put on a sweater and stop being a cry baby."

She turned around and headed for the door. With a rush of adrenaline and a sudden surge of anger, he hurled the glass of water over her head so that it smashed against the door just as she was reaching for the knob. Water splashed onto her shirt and shards of glass flew everywhere.

His heart pounded anxiously against his ribs as she stood with her back to him, her fists balled at her sides.

"That could have hit me," She said, her voice trembling with rage.

"I'm not sorry!" He snapped.

"Oh really? You're not sorry? YOU'RE NOT SORRY YOU COULD HAVE HIT ME?"

"WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT RAYDEN?" He shouted. "HE'S DEAD AND YOU DON'T EVEN MIND! YOU'RE NOT EVEN SAD! IT'S YOUR FAULT AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN UPSET!"

"My fault?" She spun around to face him. "You're the reason why he was distracted, you little brat. He was probably thinking about his conversation with you this morning. Or maybe he was worrying about you. He could hear you yelling for him from the drawing room, he wanted to go back and get you but I wouldn't let him."

"Really?" He asked, her words hitting him like a physical blow. "So...I made him distracted?"

"Yes, you did." She moved closer to him. "And since you like water so much," she brushed some water off of her shirt, "then let's see how much you like this."

In one swift motion she picked him up off the counter and dropped him into the bathtub, his head hitting off the side painfully.

"What are you doing?" He cried as she knelt over and turned on the faucets, pouring cold water into the tub. He sat up and tried to climb out but she pushed him back down. "Let me out, Bella!"

The water started to rise higher and higher until it came up to his waist. At that point she grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to lay down, plunging his head completely under. He was so startled that he coughed and tried to breathe, and water went down his throat and up his nose. That only made him start coughing and choking even more. He thrashed around and tried to sit up but Bellatrix's grip was too tight. He could see her leaning over the edge of the bath, her face distorted by the rippling surface above. She was saying something to him, but he couldn't make out the words. It sounded so distant, like it was coming from miles away.

He threw his arms up and felt around for something to hold onto, to try to pull his way out of the tub. Then his hand came in contact with her head, and he grabbed for her hair. She shrieked in pain and slapped his hands away, momentarily letting go of his shoulders. That gave him enough time to sit up and gasp for air, his lungs screaming with agony.

"RAY-" He started to yell, only to remember that Rayden was gone; gone somewhere he could never come back. Then there was a sharp stab of pain somewhere in his chest, so painful he thought Bellatrix had cut him. But there was no knife in her hand, and no blood on his shirt.

"What's the matter, Harry?" She grinned, pinching his jaw so tightly he thought she was going to puncture his skin. "Do you miss him already? Don't yell for him, Harry, he can't hear you. He can't help you."

Harry leaned over the side of the tub, his face pressing against the tile, and sobbed. Bellatrix backed away from him, her sleeves dripping, a smile on her face.

"Shall I just leave you here, then?" She said and backed out of the room, slamming the door as she left.

Harry continued to sob, covering his face with his hand and digging his nails into his skin. How was it possible that just this morning everything was fine, or as close to fine as his life had ever been, and now it was ruined? How was it possible that he would never see Rayden again? How could life just stop in the blink of an eye, energy and passion and thought all wiped clean from a body, leaving it as an empty corpse?

Who would protect him now? Who would remind him of the truth and pull him away from the lies the Death Eaters tried to plant in his head? How could he continue going to bed and waking up without Rayden there? Surely the world would keep on turning, but he wished it would stop so he could get off.

"I'm sorry, Rayden," He said, his words falling into the silence. His hands trembled on the edge of the tub and he felt colder inside than ever before. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please review. Tootles! :D**


	30. Author's note: I am a terrible person

**Oh my god guys.**

**I am like the worst person in the world.**

**I don't even remember the last time I updated. It feels like it's been years. Unfortunately, this is not a new chapter. This is just my pathetic explanation for why I haven't updated in forever. I've been super busy with schoolwork because I'm failing practically everything, and my parents are uber pissed about it, and you know how it is. So between homework and tutoring and all that, I haven't had time to write.**

**I'm planning on adding another chapter soon. So don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you and I haven't abandoned the story. **

**For those that have asked, I'm not sure how many chapters are left. There could be 3, there could be 10. And I will possibly make a sequel or a prequel. It all depends.**

**So basically, I'm REALLY REALLY SUPER SORRY about not updating, and I promise I'll update again soon.**

**I love you all and hope you don't hate me.**


	31. I would die for you,

**Author's note: HEY GUYS! I'M NOT DEAD!**

***dodges shoes and various other items being thrown through the computer screen and at my face***

**I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. I WAS KIDNAPPED BY DEATH EATERS FOR MONTHS. THEY TORTURED ME, THEY REALLY DID. THEY TOLD ME TO STOP WRITING THIS STORY BECAUSE IT GIVES AWAY TOO MUCH INFO ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BELLATRIX GETS DRUNK. (which I really need to write a fic about...)**

**But basically I was grounded for months and unable to write, and then when I was ungrounded I had serious writer's block and I went through this horrifying ordeal where I thought I sucked at writing. I'm still not a good writer, I don't think, but I will keep at it because I love it and I can't not write.**

**Oh and by now, I'm sure you've all noticed I'm a big fan of Lily and James, and I really wish they hadn't died so Harry and Lily and James could've been a big happy family. So let me just say this -**

**DEATHLY HALLOWS. PART 2. KILLED ME.**

**spoiler alert -**

**When Lily was saying to Harry, "Mama loves you. Daddy loves you" I just absolutely could not stand it. I was shaking and crying hysterically.**

**Also, if there are any random, ridiculous grammar or spelling or punctuation errors, just know that this was written on my ipod and it is all my ipod's fault.  
**

**So I'm back. ;D**

* * *

_I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like_  
_And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe_  
_I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight_  
_As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight_  
_High off of love, drunk from the hate_  
_It's like I'm huffing paint, and I love it _  
_The more that I suffer, I suffocate_  
_ And right before I'm about to drown_  
_She resuscitates me_

* * *

The first thing Harry thought when he woke up in the morning was: 'Oh hell, Bella's torturing the prisoners again. And something is terribly wrong.'

He flinched at the harsh, ear-splitting screams that rose from the floor and sunk into his back, chilling his spine and shaking his bones. He covered his ears, attempting to drown out the sound, but it didn't work. He felt the screams more than he heard them, so just covering his ears wouldn't help anything. He would have had to cover his entire body and lock himself up somewhere far, far away to get away from those sounds.

At the other side of the room, Kyro sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around the room blearily. Shafts of pale pink light slanted through the half open window, illuminating the harsh features of the thirteen year old's face.

"Music to my ears," Kyro snickered and yawned, stretching out like a cat across his bed.

Harry wanted to punch him.

"Why does she have to torture people this early in the morning?" Mile grumbled into his pillow in the bed up above. "I mean, Merlin, they're certainly not going anywhere. It's not like they're leaving after breakfast."

Harry stared around the room, thinking that something wasn't right here. Something was gone. Something was amiss.

"It's a good thing she finally took care of that muggle problem down the road." Kyro climbed out of bed and yawned again as he pulled off his pajamas.

"What muggle problem?" Harry asked, wide eyes darting around the room, sweeping over every surface and every crevice for that horrible, horrible problem screaming from the back of his mind, wanting to be addressed.

"Remember that ugly old muggle couple living in that cottage?"

"What about them?" Harry asked.

"Bella took care of them," Kyro said with a grin.

"She - what? What do you mean she 'took care of them'?" Harry demanded, getting out of bed at once. Kyro smiled menacingly, his eyes dancing happily at Harry's evident distress. "What did she do to them? They never hurt anybody. And where's Rayden?"

The smirk fell off Kyro's face instantly. His eyes flashed, and before Harry could even register what had happened, he was suddenly thrown back onto the bed, smacking his head against the top bunk as he went down. Kyro was suddenly on top of him, pinning his wrists to the mattress, his face contorted into an expression of rage.

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" Kyro screamed, loud enough to compete with the prisoners in the dungeon below. "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT?"

"Kyro, stop-" Mile was saying, pulling on Kyro's arms, dragging him off the bed. The angry boy landed on the floor with a thud before scrambling to his feet again, fists balled and ready to strike. But before he could try anything, Mile grabbed him around the waist and threw him back down to the floor. "I SAID STOP!"

"Where's Rayden?" Harry asked again, chest rising and falling heavily as he panted. Mile was giving him an odd look, and Kyro looked ready to scream again. Harry ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit, and found it wet. Why was his hair wet? Patting himself down, he felt his clothes were wet too. Why was he all wet? Where was Rayden? A horrible sensation was setting over him, hysteria starting to take hold, a familiar plummet of his stomach as every last drop of hope started draining out of the world. He remembered lying in a bathtub, clawing at the sides, his lungs ready to burst as the bombshell Bellatrix had dropped rang in his ears: 'Rayden is dead, Rayden is dead...'

His stomach heaved. He dropped to his knees and hunched over the floor as his stomach tried to empty itself. His hands shook uncontrollably. But as much as he wanted to throw up, he couldn't. The contents of his stomach seemed to be stuck, stuck just as he was. He was stuck in Lestrange Manor, stuck in this life, with no way out.

He got to his feet, but the room swayed around him, and he felt like his legs were going to buckle beneath him. Mile reached out for him, trying to steady him, but Harry smacked his hand away. He wanted to fall. God, he wanted to fall. He wanted to fall through the floorboards and into the ground and be swallowed up by the earth, never to be seen or heard from again, lost in the darkness forever, like Rayden.

"Harry," Mile said, looking worried. He suddenly had two heads and four eyes, all of them spinning around, competing with each other, pushing each other out of the way. Harry squinted, trying to make out which was real and which one was fake, and then he thought, 'what if they're ALL fake? Nothing is real, everything is a lie...'

He started to sink into the floor, dropping down into the darkness, and he welcomed it. He wanted to be out of there. He wanted to drown in the dark. And clearly he WAS drowning, because he couldn't breathe. When he tried to take in a breath, dirt or soil filled his mouth, suffocating him. He was in the earth, dying.

"Harry!" someone shouted.

Let me drown, he thought.

"Harry, love, can you hear me?" it repeated, desperately this time, and someone was shaking his shoulders. But how could that be, if he was in the darkness? The darkness did not have hands. "Harry. HARRY!"

He peeled his eyelids open to a blinding glare of light, and emeralds looking down at him, bright and lovely emeralds. He started to breathe, fresh air filling his lungs for what felt like the first time in his life. Something was hitting his face: drops of water. He squeezed his eyes shut again at the horrible thought of lying in a bathtub, water in his lungs. He was still in the bath. He was still drowning.

His arm was burning, too, a searing, powerful burning that almost blocked out everything else. The burn in his arm was drowning him, pulling him under. If would always be there. It would always grab him by the shoulders and pull him under at any time. It was Bellatrix and Voldemort and painful memories, inside of him, and it was the hand that held him under the water. No matter where he went, he would still be in that bathtub, because it would always be inside of him.

"Please, please, please," someone was sobbing. "Open your eyes again! Open them!"

"What's happening to him?"

"It's the Dark Mark! They can torture him with it! Voldemort was inside his head about fifteen minutes ago, back in the corridor. He had been fine for a bit, when we were with you and James and Remus, and when we went out the door. But as we were coming down the stairs that led to the street, he started breathing oddly, and saying he was drowning, and now..."

_James,_ Harry thought, _DAD. Dad and Remus and Sirius and-_

"Mum," he said hoarsely. He opened his eyes and saw the emeralds again, only this time he realized it was her eyes he was looking at, a reflection of his own. Bright green and flecked with orange around the outside of the irises. A light was shining down, and when Harry squinted he could make out the shape of a lamppost. They were out on the street in front of the hospital.

He could still feel water on his face but he was confused about what it meant now. Was it the water Bellatrix tried to drown him in, or was it rain? Was he drowning or swimming, sinking or floating?

His wrist kept on burning. He lifted up his arm and looked at the Dark Mark, sickened, as usual, by the sight of it. But then Lily grabbed his wrist, sending shock waves of cool, blissful relief up his arm, canceling out the pain. And, as if watching water evaporate on a hot sidewalk, the swirls of black ink among a labyrinth of scars slowly began to fade away, changing to gray then to white before completely vanishing from his skin without a trace. He stared in shock, his eyes bugging out of his head at the sight of his wrist, free and untarnished by the hideous tattoo, for the first time in nearly two years.

"Harry!" Lily cried, and then she was enveloping him in her arms, his own pinned to his sides as she rocked him back and forth, holding fistfuls of his hair as tears flowed freely down her pale cheeks. "Harry, I love you, oh, Harry!"

"Lily, we need to go immediately," someone said, but it was a while before it registered on her. She was holding Harry's face in her hands, her thumbs tracing the line of his jaw, marveling over the little resemblances.

"What?" she asked once their voices finally reached her ears. "What did you say?"

"I said, we need to go, immediately."

Through the curtain of Lily's hair that had fallen over Harry's shoulder, he could see Sirius and Kingsley Shacklebolt standing there, Sirius watching apprehensively, Kingsley looking over his shoulder towards the entrance of Saint Mungo's.

"The others should be coming soon. I will wait here for them. You take your son home," Kingsley said.

Harry looked around blearily, the rain pouring down steadily now, mixing in with their tears and washing away the blood and dust. He breathed in sharply, filling his lungs with fresh air for what felt like the first time in twelve years. He tipped his head back, looking up at the silver drops as they fell from the stormy sky, strands of his hair sticking to his face as drops of water coated his lips and clung to his eyelashes.

He was free.

What an amazing revelation. The effects of it hadn't quite caught up to him yet. He took long, steady gulps of air, trying to drink in this freedom, washing it down with the rain. After a few moments of it he felt lightheaded, like if he didn't hold onto something he'd float away into the clouds. He wrapped his arms around Lily's neck, resting his chin on her shoulder, looking up at Sirius who stood a few feet away, looking very much like a wet dog but grinning ear to ear.

"Let's go home."

He couldn't remember if it was her that said it or if it was him, or maybe even Sirius was the one to say it. It didn't matter. Everyone was thinking it.

Without another word, Lily clasped his hand, holding it tightly within her own, then reached out for Sirius'. He was caught off guard by this gesture, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline in surprise, but then he smiled and took her hand as well.

And with a _POP, _they were gone, spiraling away from the darkness into a flurry of light.

* * *

Potter Manor was far less grand but a thousand times more lovely than Lestrange Manor.

The furnishings weren't as flashy, but they were a thousand times more comfortable, draped in knit blankets and covered in throw pillows stitched with the Gryffindor crest. A gigantic Gryffindor wall scroll hung in the foyer, the gold thread glinting in the light of the splendid chandeliers, and the windows were draped with crimson silk that fell in ripples to the hardwood floor. The rain battered against it, wiping its icy fingers down the glass as the wind whispered in the background.

Harry had only a few moments to take it all in before he suddenly collapsed again.

It wasn't the same horrible pain from before. It wasn't a pain he had ever experienced at all in his life, for all he could remember. It was a dull, throbbing ache in his head that messed with his eyes and made him see three of everything. Before his knees could hit the floor, Sirius and Lily had grabbed him by the elbows and pulled him back up. Before he could even protest, Sirius scooped up in his arms and whisked him off to a plush crimson couch in the drawing room, overflowing with blankets and pillows.

"What is it, Harry? Is it the same pain as before? Is it them?" Lily held his wrist to her face and inspected it, turning it every which way.

"No, it's not. It's just -" he winced, rubbing his temples. "My head hurts."

Lily shrieked, dropping his wrist to clamp a hand over her mouth.

"Not like that!" he said hurriedly. "It doesn't hurt like - like Voldemort again. It's not that bad. It's just..." his words were cut off by another throbbing pulse that rocked through his skull. "Ow!"

"He did fall down the stairs on your way out, Lil." Sirius had seated himself in an armchair across the room and had the hint of a smile on his lips. "Don't you see what's wrong?"

"No. What's wrong?" she asked Sirius desperately. "Do you know?"

"You are a very bad Healer, Lil, honestly. I don't know who hired you but -"

"_Sirius!" _she shrieked. "You tell me what's wrong with him!"

"It's very dire indeed, and will take years of recovery, and loads and loads of complicated medicines. But..." he paused, eying Harry for a few moments with that stupid smirk on the verge of breaking out. "He has a headache."

The air let out of Lily in a rush. Her shoulders drooped a bit, releasing some of the tension they had held. Sirius threw his head back and laughed, sounding very much like a dog, as usual.

"I really should kill you," Lily said. "But Harry is more important." She turned back to her son, who was holding his hands over his head and grimacing, and said, "Harry, sweetheart, you just wait right here and I'll go get you some medicine to make it all better, alright? Don't move."

Harry waited patiently, cringing occasionally at the loud noises that came from a closet in the hall. Each crash and bang of a shelf and the rattle of opening drawers went straight to Harry's skull, ringing inside of it painfully.

At last, Lily came back, holding a tall glass of a bubbling blue liquid. Harry peeled his eyelids open and looked up as she approached. As she dropped to her knees beside the couch, he pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Here, drink this," she handed him the glass. Even after he took it, she held onto it, her own hands overlapping his. "It's a bit of Sleeping Serum and Dragon's Blood, with a bit of Kelpie Paste as well, to help with the pain."

Harry eyed the blue liquid, each bubble that burst letting out a disgusting, foul odor. He tried to mask his distaste out of politeness, but Sirius did not mask anything for anyone.

"Lil, you can't make him drink that!"

"Why not?" Lily placed her hands on her hips.

"Well, for one thing, it's toxic."

"It is _pain medication-"_

"Like I said, toxic. And for another thing, how big do you think he is? He's thirteen. Could pass for eleven if he tried. You're not trying to knock out a troll here. It wouldn't take more than a few drops of either one of those things you just named to ease a headache. You don't need to bust out all of the most powerful pain killers you own and mix them all together like it's a druggie's birthday party. I'm not even a Healer, and even I know that."

"Well, you can't be too careful, Sirius," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm just saying. There is going to be consequences for this."

"None of these potions have serious side effects. I wouldn't give them to him if they did."

"I know you wouldn't. But Lil, that's gonna knock him out, and then when he wakes up he's going to be loopy. I mean, he's going to be _stoned. _More stoned than James and I in the 70s, and that is _saying something. _You would know, you remember. Ah, Hogwarts in the days of John Lennon-"

"Shut up, Sirius. Drink up, Harry."

Not wanting to refuse his mother, and wanting to do anything to get rid of the ache, he put the glass to his lips and drank it down. His face contorted in disgust as the liquid washed over his tongue, putrid and sour and bitter all at once, but he forced it down his throat. Lily squeezed his shoulder while he shivered and cringed, and once he had downed the whole glass, he handed it back to her.

There was a few moments where nothing happened. The horrible ache still resided in his skull, and the room was still spinning, doubles of everything making his eyes pound. But then he felt strange - tingly and warm and oddly tranquil, his thoughts stirring together nonsensically.

"Hufflepuffs," he said, each syllable dragging together drunkenly. "are particularly good finders."

Then he fell back onto the pillows, his eyes falling shut. His chest rose and fell with each deep, even breath he took. Lily smiled, her heart spilling over with affection as she brushed her fingers along the side of his face.

"I've got to be honest with you, Lily. I was thinking about heading out a few minutes ago, leaving to go drag James back here," Sirius said. "But you know what? Kingsley can get James. I'm just going to sit here and watch this unfold. I can see it now - the spawn of Lily and James, all drugged out. Oh, this'll be sweet."

* * *

**I'm not entirely sure how many chapters of this will be left. It should be almost over now. But I'll most likely write some more stories involving Harry, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and the whole gang, and I will try to make you guys love them as much as you've loved this. **

**This isn't an exact answer but there should be about 3 chapters more. That is my guesstimation. Could be more, could be less. I don't know.**

**Please review, loves.**

**Tootles!  
**


	32. Let me light up the sky, light it up

**Hello, faithful readers. Let me start off by saying that I love you all for not giving up on this story after I abandoned it for a while there. I've been rereading the old chapters and I'm kind of horrified by how awful my writing was, and I truly hope I've improved some.**

**Also, just a warning: LOTS OF AVPM REFERENCES. **

**That will be all.**

* * *

_You're a candle in the window,  
On a cold, dark winter's night.  
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.  
And I can't fight this feeling anymore. _  
_I've forgotten what I started fighting for. _  
_It's time to bring this ship into the shore, _  
_And throw away the oars, forever. _

* * *

Sirius had never really cared for anything, had never really looked after anything, or wanted to look after anything in his entire life, until Harry. Not even did his younger brother bring to him such a feeling of responsibility. He couldn't remember or imagine feeling proud the day his brother was born, or wanting to protect that life as deeply as he had wanted to protect Harry's. When his brother was killed, he supposed a part of him was upset, but Regulus' death hadn't shattered his life the way Harry's "death" had.

It was astounding what love can do to you. He never pegged himself for a babysitter, not even when Harry was an actual baby, and had never wanted to put himself in a position of responsibility. He never wanted to look after kids, never wanted to be a teacher, never wanted to be in charge, in control of a young child.

But here he was.

Harry tossed and turned beneath piles of down comforters on Lily and James' enormous four poster bed. Lily had been laying beside him for the past twenty minutes, touching his hair and pretending she wasn't crying even though Sirius could clearly hear the whimpers escaping her lips, until he convinced her that it was okay to go have a shower. She boldly refused at first, saying she would never leave her son's side again, but eventually she agreed with him that Harry would not want to hug her anymore if her face and hands were filthy and her hair looked like a jungle, and swore she would be back in two minutes.

As she reluctantly left to head to the bathroom, Sirius had been going to say, "Lily, don't worry. He couldn't possibly disappear from your own house" until he remembered how that was precisely what happened twelve years ago.

He felt strange as he looked down at Harry, watching the small boy's eyelids clench and release in his sleep, his fists tensing and relaxing. His hair was in a state of proper disarray, sticking up at odd angles and splayed across the pillow. All traces of dirt had been gently scrubbed from his face by Lily the moment after he passed out, revealing the glowing ivory complexion beneath.

The one question Sirius couldn't understand was, _how did he get so big?_

Maybe 'big' wasn't the right word, since the boy was rather petite, but he certainly wasn't a baby anymore. Twelve years could do that to a child. But connecting this young boy to the baby in his memory was so odd. It made Sirius feel that if he turned his back for just a second, Harry would change again.

It also made him realize that he didn't care. If the next morning he woke up to find Harry had aged a hundred years and looked nothing like the thirteen year old boy he was now, he wouldn't care. As long as it was Harry, as long as it was his godson, his _nephew,_ he wouldn't care.

Just as long as he was there.

He would never say it out loud – not to any conscious person, at least. He just wasn't raised that way, to speak of affections, to take his love and spin it into words. He had been programmed by his cold, indifferent parents to not feel anything, and although their brainwashing hadn't worked, he was left unable to tell people the things he felt.

But oh, how he _felt_ them.

Just looking at Harry's hand that was hanging over the side of the bed, just studying the shape of his nails and the dirt still left underneath that Lily hadn't yet been able to deal with, just watching his fingers curl and then relax, made Sirius feel a jumble of different things, he couldn't even decipher what they were. All he knew was that the longer Harry's hand lay in front of him and the longer he looked at it, the more he felt that he wanted to grab it. _Hold _it.

Eventually, he did.

After a moment's hesitation, he reached across the small distance between the bed and the chair in which he sat and grabbed Harry's hand, enclosing it inside his own. Remus would never know it, James would never see it, and Lily would never believe it, but as he gently squeezed Harry's fingers, marveling over how small the boy's hand was inside of his own, one solitary tear rolled down his cheek and fell onto the pillow beside Harry's head. The next breath he took was hitched, caught between a gasp and a sob, and it took all the strength in his body to hold himself together and silence the storm raging inside his chest.

He couldn't say things, but he sure could do them.

When he heard Lily's footsteps on the stairs, he released Harry's hand and shrank back down in his chair, doing his best to look casual, contained and uncaring. But when he thought about how her footsteps were soft and light, and how James' were heavy and loud, he wondered what Harry's footsteps would sound like on those very same stairs, and how, in just a few hours, he'd be able to know. He'd be able to memorize the sound, and tell the difference between his footsteps and his parents' and Remus'. It just further added to the knowledge that he was _here, _he was _alive, _and he was not going anywhere.

His godson. At home.

And Sirius was home too.

Lily came through the bedroom door. When she laid eyes on her son, her whole face broke into a huge grin, her eyes brightening and face lifting. Her red hair was wet and shining, tied back into a neat ponytail, and she was wearing fresh clothes now, her face bearing no more scratches or mud.

"Has he woken up at all?" she asked, trailing her fingers down the length of Harry's arm.

In his sleep, he responded to the touch, turning over so that he was facing her.

"No," Sirius said casually. "Those tranquilizers really worked."

"They weren't _tranquilizers, _Sirius." She rolled her eyes.

"They might as well have been. They would have been enough to put a hippogriff to sleep for several decades. We can expect Harry to sleep for at least fifty years now."

"Oh, stop it."

Sirius would have been correct, if he had said fifty _seconds _instead of fifty years. Within the next minute or so, Harry's eyelids fluttered open, with shining emerald irises looking around blearily behind them. Lily gasped and climbed onto the bed beside him, touching her fingers to the side of his face.

"Hello, love," she gushed with the warmest smile on her face. "Did you sleep well?"

Harry merely stared at her for a few seconds, apparently puzzling over her identity. Then he sat up, pushing the layers of heavy blankets off of him.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked gently.

He looked around blearily for a few moments before mumbling, "Thirsty."

"I've got a drink here," Sirius said, grabbing a bottle from the bedside table. "Do you want this?"

"Wuz that?" Harry mumbled, slightly incoherently.

"Squirt."

"Never mind," Harry said. "I'll stay dehydrated."

With that he almost toppled out of the bed, but Lily and Sirius both reached out to catch him. As they lifted him back onto the bed, Sirius' hand came in contact with Harry's ribcage, and the young boy squirmed out of their arms and bellowed with laughter.

"I suppose he's ticklish," Sirius said with a grin.

"I'm not Ticklish." Harry frowned, looking confused. "I'm Harry."

"I'm not joking," Sirius said. "I'm Sirius."

Harry froze for a few seconds, staring at Sirius with a vacant look on his face, before bursting into laughter once again. Lily grinned warily, looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Er – Harry, love," she started. "Are you feeling better?"

"No, I don't feel better," Harry said. "I don't even know Better. Who is that?"

Lily's mouth dropped open. Sirius leaned back in his chair and laughed, folding his arms behind his head.

"Oh boy, I knew this would be fun."

"I don't know who that is either. Who's fun?"

"_I _am fun, Harry." Sirius grinned. "I am fun incarnate."

"Then who's Sirius?"

"Your mum is being serious right now."

Lily was frowning, a defined crease between her eyebrows.

"I'm worried," Lily said. "Why is he acting like this?"

"Never mind," Sirius said. "Now she's Worried."

"I'm ser –" Lily started to say, then backtracked. "I mean – I'm not joking. What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, Lily. Have you never gotten high?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then you wouldn't understand. Our dear boy is stoned. And it's your fault. What a brilliant idea, Lily. And I mean that sincerely, with no sarcasm. The kid could use a break from reality for a while."

"But this is –"

"Hilarious? I know."

"Hey," Harry said suddenly, looking at Lily. "You're my mum."

"That's right," Lily smiled.

"That's _odd. _Odd, odd, odd," Harry said in a strange, sleepy voice. "Bella said that when I was a baby, I was in the car with my parents, and we crashed into a crocodile and my parents got eaten. Then the crocodile took out this knife and gave me this scar –" Harry pointed to thin white scar at the side of his neck that brought a surge of boiling anger to both Sirius and Lily's chests.

"She's not a good liar, is she?" Sirius said.

"One time a dementor kissed her," Harry said suddenly. "And it _died."_

"Harry, why don't we go downstairs and get you some water?" Lily asked, getting a hold of his forearm and steering him towards the door.

"I want Red Vines," Harry said suddenly.

"What do they do?" Sirius' brow furrowed, for he was unfamiliar with the term.

"What the hell can't they do?" Harry replied before tripping over his own two feet.

"Maybe we should carry him," Sirius suggested.

"Lucius gets the other Death Eaters to carry him sometimes," Harry said in that same sleepy voice. "True story."

"Please stop, Harry, you're disturbing me," Sirius said. "That's a truly horrific thought."

"They do dance numbers."

"Harry, stop –"

"With jazz hands."

"I will never sleep again."

* * *

**Please tell me what you think, and please god tell me if I've improved in writing skills at all because I truly hate the way I wrote before in previous chapters. ;P**


	33. For you

**Author's note: hello there, dear readers! I am so terribly sorry for not updating sooner. It's been months again, I know. Ugh. Writer's block is a bitch. But thanks for hanging in there, you guys. **

* * *

_Sing out, sing out, the silence only eats us from the inside out  
__I meant no harm but I only get to say these words too late  
__Wake up, wake up, dreaming only leads to more and more nightmares  
__Snap out of it, you said it in a way that showed you really cared_

* * *

Nobody knew what time it was when the light left Ragus Redler's eyes. The hallway didn't have windows - or at least it didn't have windows with a view of the real world. There was no way of knowing if it was sunrise or sunset or somewhere in between.

It felt like sunrise to James.

"Did I do this?" James asked.

His hazel eyes flickered over the splatters of blood that painted the gray walls red. He wasn't sure if he should have felt sickened or not by the sight of what he had done, but if there was one emotion he didn't feel, it was guilt. They'd only managed to get a few cryptic details out of Redler about what he'd done to Harry, and just those brief descriptions had been enough to send James over the edge. He could barely remember doing half the things he did to Redler; he'd gone entirely blind with rage, ripped away from the rage only when Remus grabbed his arm and said, "enough, James, your family's waiting at home."

He'd lowered his wand, chest heaving with spastic breaths, mental images of a terrified Harry pinned to the floor by this monster assaulting his mind. The pictures throbbed with his heartbeat and shifted between Redler bending back Harry's fingers, Redler cutting Harry's face and lapping up the blood, and Redler clawing under Harry's shirt. He suddenly felt a burst of blood in his mouth and tasted it on his tongue, and realized he'd bit his lip nearly in half.

No, he didn't feel guilty. The only feelings of remorse he had for anyone were for the Department of Mysteries cleaning crew.

"Well," Remus said, breaking the silence with a low chuckle. "He's definitely your son."

James jumped at the sound of his friend's voice.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"From what Redler - may he rest in hell - told us, Harry never stopped fighting him. He bit him, tried to hex him, then tried to hex him _again _after Redler pushed him - he's a fighter, like you," Remus said. "He's definitely your son."

"You know, Remus," James said after a long moment's pause. "I wasn't aware there was any speculation that he wasn't."

"Well, when he was a baby and was saying things like 'molecular composition', me and Sirius thought he might be too smart to be your kin."

James laughed, a strange sound in the echoing darkness.

"You know what, Moony?" James said. "I love him so much, I'd still love him even if he was Snape's son."

Remus whistled.

"That is a lot of love."

James nodded, not quite sure how to do much else. He was afraid if he tried to walk away from that spot his legs would collapse underneath him. His hands were trembling so badly he nearly dropped his wand. The way the dim blue torchlight illuminated everything was so strange and dreamlike, and combined with the spinning feeling in his head, it made him wonder if it actually _was _a dream, if _all _of this was a dream.

And then the fear gripped him so tightly he almost fell to his knees right then and there. Was this the part of the horror movie where everything started to seem like it resolved, before the twist ending of a body in the closet? Was this the part of the dream where he started to realize he was dreaming? Was he going to jolt upright in bed, screaming Harry's name into an empty house?

His breaths were shallow and painful, sending a spike to his heart with each inhale. Suddenly Remus was there, taking him by the arm and steering him away from Redler's body.

"Is all of this real?" James asked, eyes panicked as he reached over and gripped Remus' arms as well.

"Yes, Prongs," Remus said. "You're not asleep, and now we're going home."

He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to release some of his anxiety as they walked down the hallway towards the exit. As the red exit sign grew closer, it only enforced James' realization that he did not want to exit this world where Harry existed.

"I don't know how to be a dad, Moony," James said, voice cracking the slightest bit. "I don't."

"James-"

"A few days on the job and I've already gone and screwed it up."

"James, listen-"

"I cut his hand. Intentionally. Did I tell you? I thought he was a Death Eater, but still, it was intentional. And then I took him to Lestrange Manor and he was Cruciated, right in front of me, and a Death Eater threw him into a mirror and cut up his hands while I was two feet away and couldn't do a thing to stop it. Even when I'm not with him I'm endangering him. I left him with McGonagall, _McGonagall, _for Merlin's sake, and he wound up in the clawed hands of Ragus fucking Redler."

"James, stop."

"But all of that pales in comparison to what I did twelve years ago. The worst decision I've ever made in my life, the absolute lowest, stupidest, most dangerous thing I've ever done in my thirty-three years of living, was not listening to Lily when she said not to trust Peter." James voice cracked completely, eyes visibly reddening even in the near-darkness. "I let him in my house, and I let him walk away from me when I confronted him about being the spy. I made a mistake and Harry paid for it for twelve years." He looked over at Remus, a desperate look in his hazel eyes Remus had never seen there before. Tears spilled over and streamed down James' cheeks, and his next words sounded strangled. "I don't want him to pay for my mistakes anymore."

By now they had reached the exit and were standing still right in front of the door, their faces glowing under the red sign. James sniffed and dragged his trembling fingers through his sweaty hair, feeling as though he were coming apart.

"The good thing about mistakes, Prongs, is that you always learn from them," Remus said. He smiled warmly at James, who was trying to rub away his tears with the heel of his palm. Remus conjured up a tissue and handed it to James. Just like in Dumbledore's office, James stared at the tissue blankly, not quite knowing what to do with it before he dropped it to the ground. "You still don't understand the purpose of a tissue, after all these years."

"Give me a break, Moony," James said, awkwardly wiping away his tears, looking like he was clinging to scraps of his manliness. Remus had the heart not to roll his eyes. "I only have thirteen years of experience with crying. The first time I ever cried was the day Harry was born."

"Are you ready to go see him?" Remus asked, gesturing to the exit.

"Is that really a question?" James smiled.

Together they pushed open the heavy door and stepped out into the light, discovering what time of day it was after all.

And just as James had predicted, it was sunrise.

* * *

**Please review as always, my lovelies. :D**

**Also, to those who were confused about Harry saying Lucius did dance numbers with the Death Eaters, he wasn't being serious. _I _was not being serious. It was an AVPM/AVPS reference. I put AVPM references in previous chapters and everyone liked them so much I decided to put more in for laughs. If you don't know what it is, go watch it immediately. You have not truly lived yet.**


	34. Let me light up

**author's note: NOBODY KILL ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! I DON'T KNOW OKAY.**

* * *

_I have died everyday waiting for you_  
_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_  
_For a thousand years_  
_I'll love you for a thousand more_

_And all along I believed I would find you_  
_Time has brought your heart to me_  
_I have loved you for a thousand years_  
_I'll love you for a thousand more_

* * *

"And to top it all off, Bellatrix Lestrange was found dead outside! Thrown out a window by the looks of it! Also among the dead, Ragus Redler and Fenrir Greyback, and a handful of other Death Eaters! I always knew the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks would rise up against the Dark Arts," Xenophilius Lovegood said to the gathering press flocked around the inner entrance of the Ministry of Magic, in a light show of camera flashes. "Also, we hear tell that Lily and James Potter's long lost son is in fact alive, as me and my dear Luna had always suspected."

"Mr. Lovegood," Rita Skeeter said as her quill eagerly scribbled pages and pages of notes. "There was absolutely no evidence to suggest that the boy could be alive."

"Precisely!" Xenophilius said.

"As far as anyone knew - apart from myself, of course, I was always in the know - the boy had been killed twelve years ago," Gilderoy Lockhart said as he signed autographed photos of himself proudly standing next to the dead bodies of the Death Eaters at Saint Mungo's. "But the Potters - big fans of me, they are - sent their boy to live with me, for they knew I would keep him the safest. I once hexed You-Know-Who in the face, you know. I warned him first, I told him he had better not kill another person, but he didn't listen, and boy did he regret it! That reminds me of the time I taught dear little Henry Potter the wand technique I used-"

"You mean Harry Potter," Luna Lovegood said from beside her father. "His name is Harry."

"That's what I said."

"The boy isn't alive," Rita Skeeter insisted.

"HE IS! I saw him with my own two eyes!" a woman shouted. "I saw him leave with Kingsley Shacklebolt and a redheaded woman!"

"Harry Potter is not alive," Cornelius Fudge stepped into the fray, calling attention to himself with his lime green bowler hat. Normally, he would have worn gray. Normally, everyone would have worn gray. But the photographers, the reporters, the ministry workers, the witches and wizards in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade and all across the world - they were all wearing their brightest colors, for today was a sign of hope. "He could not be. He was killed years ago."

"But he wasn't killed!" someone shouted. "The boy lives!"

"He lives!"

"Harry Potter lives!"

For the past twelve years the story of the Potters was a story that everyone knew. The Potters were famous for their work as Aurors and as members of the Order of the Phoenix, their faces always in the Quibbler, the only newspaper still willing to print the truth, and their names were always spoken in hushed tones in the few pubs that hadn't been infiltrated by Death Eaters and supporters of the Dark Lord. Everybody knew what had happened to their son. It was a sad tale, but a common one: a family torn apart by the war, an innocent life lost. It wasn't something the average witch or wizard gave much thought to since the year it had happened, but it was on everybody's minds today, for the story had a twist ending.

Harry Potter had not been killed. Harry Potter was in this world somewhere, his heart still beating, breathing life into hope for the wizarding world that hadn't been seen in a very long time. And all across the world, people opened the curtains in their darkened houses, telling everyone who didn't know, and repeating the story again to people who had already heard, raising their glasses of butterbeer and saying, "To Harry Potter - The Boy Who Lived!"

* * *

But at the other side of London, Harry didn't quite know who he was. In fact, he was the only person in the Wizarding World who didn't know who he was.

Not to say that he was having an identity crisis or was questioning his purpose on this earth, or anything particularly deep and thought-provoking. The fact of the matter was, he quite literally could not remember his name, neither the real one nor the fake one.

"Harry, let's sing your ABCs," Sirius said encouragingly. "A-B-C-D-E-F...what comes next, Harry?"

"Buttons."

Sirius toppled backward off the couch in a fit of laughter.

"Sirius, stop it!" Lily said.

"I'm trying to see if he knows the English alphabet, Lil! I'm concerned about the education of your only child, who happens to be my only godchild! Is that such a bad thing? I mean, Merlin knows what sort of education he received at Morbid Manor. They probably told him Pureblood is the first letter of the alphabet."

"Did you know," Harry said dreamily. "That when it rains, it's not really water?"

"What is it, then, Harry?" Sirius asked.

Harry scrunched up his face in concentration.

"I don't know," he admitted a moment later.

"Good," Sirius said. "Because I was afraid of the answer."

"Oh, Harry," Lily sat beside Harry on the couch, pulling the boy into her arms and stroking his hair protectively. "You poor thing. I'm so sorry."

He tipped his head back to look up at her, eyes glowing neon in the chandelier light.

"Are you a panda?" he asked curiously.

She'd been going to say 'no', but at the hopeful look on Harry's face she sighed and said, "yes, I am very much a panda."

Harry wrapped his arms around her middle and squeezed her like a teddy bear mumbling something that sounded an awful lot like 'I love you, Mr. Panda' while Lily patted him on the back. However, at the ring of the doorbell, she - very reluctantly - pried Harry's arms off of her, kissing him on the forehead and saying, "don't worry, Harry, I'll be right back" and "_do_ watch him, please, Sirius, I will be right back in a moment, don't bother him" before disappearing into the hall.

Sirius was sprawled about below the couch, looking up at Harry with a big, adoring grin.

"As humorous as your current state of mind is to me, I'm sort of looking forward to speaking to you when you're sober and healthy," Sirius admitted once Lily was out of earshot. He didn't want her to know he was capable of a mature thought such as this. "I've never spoken to you before. Not really, you know. Not in a normal setting."

Harry rolled over and gazed down at him curiously, large emerald eyes unblinking.

"I don't even know if you understand me right now. You seem to have lost the plot a bit, Prongslet. I certainly_ hope_ you can't understand me. What a sap I must sound like. Old Sirius Padfoot Black, rambling on how about feelings and such. If you remember this conversation when your mind comes back around, please pretend you don't."

He got to his knees before the couch, at eye level with Harry, and smiled. Harry smiled back, eyes bright and dreamy. Something soft and warm stirred in Sirius' stomach again and he wished he could attribute it to Firewhiskey, just so he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he had feelings, only he hadn't touched a drink in days.

"Merlin, you're adorable," Sirius said with a groan. "It's awful. You don't even understand my misery. Before you came along and got born, I had the perfectly respectable reputation of being selfish and unfeeling. Now look at me. I'm softer than Honeyduke's marshmallows now."

Harry prodded Sirius' face with his finger, looking interested.

"I'm not - I'm not physically soft, I was just - stop poking me! I'll poke you back! I don't care if you're stoned." Sirius tapped the tip of Harry's nose; the boy laughed and tipped backwards on the couch before Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders and held him still. "Don't go falling over on me! I hope you're enjoying this because I'm not. Uncle Padfoot forgot how terrible it is to care about someone this much. You don't know this because you're too young, and too high on painkillers, but it really is awful."

Harry laughed and made a grab for Sirius' hair, who chuckled and ducked away from his godson's reaching hands.

"Really, though. I mean, it's awful. It's bad enough caring about Lily and James and Remus, but you're different. Moony and your parents are adults; they're in the Order, and they don't need looking after...and mostly, they're not adorable. But you...you're just a kid, and you have gigantic green eyes and look so helpless. Again, that's probably mostly attributed to the drugs, but really, I feel like we should hide you away somewhere until the war is over and then maybe - and I mean _maybe_ - consider letting you out into the real world. I sound like a wanker. Would you listen to me? Please don't listen to me. Ow! Oh, bugger! Yes, Harry, my hair is very pull-able. Please don't pull it, though."

Sirius sighed as Harry fell back against the pillows and gave up trying to twist his hair.

"It's terrifying how much I'm worrying about you and I was only just reunited with you today. I feel like I'm going to need to make a schedule for worrying about you. 7 AM is breakfast - toast and tea with worry about Harry, and then after breakfast is a bit more of worrying about Harry, and then noon is lunch and a bit of worrying about Harry-" Sirius cut himself off in the middle of this speech. "Don't mention any of this to your mum and dad, alright, pup? I'm just the comic relief in the family. No one needs me to go all melancholy on them now."

Sirius smiled when Harry's eyes fell shut and his breathing went deep. He brushed his thumb along the boy's cheek, swallowing around the lump in his throat. When he heard the front door shut and Lily's voice carry into the living room from the foyer, Sirius jumped to his feet and folded his hands behind his back, pretending to admire a painting over the living room he'd never paid any mind to before in his life. When Lily appeared in the doorway, Sirius made himself look surprised to see her.

"Oh, hey, Lil! What are you up to? I've just been here, looking at -" he stopped and squinted to read the title of the painting by the frame. "Pot of Roses here. My favorite painting. So original, don't you think? Don't you just love the - the, er, the use of paint? My personal favorite, yes."

"Ah, I see," Lily said with a raised eyebrow. "Is Harry sleeping?"

"Who? Oh, Harry, you mean? That Harry? Oh, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention to him. I've just been over here, not feeling emotional. I don't have emotions! Ha! Ha!" Sirius' laughs escaped like frantic barks, like a dog with its tailed stepped on. "Who was at the door?"

"Reporters," she said as she came to sit beside Harry on the couch. "They want to know about Harry. Heaven knows how they found out about him! I didn't say a word, though. Nobody can know yet. We have to keep him safe above all."

Sirius nodded. He didn't even bother to ask who Heaven was or why he would know anything. "Heaven knows" was one of those odd muggle things Lily spouted in times of great stress.

Harry suddenly jolted upright on the couch, causing Lily to cry out in fright. Without prior warning, Harry shouted "LOOK OUT FOR THE PIRATES!" and leaped into Sirius' lap. Sirius caught Harry just in time as he toppled back onto the carpet.

"What - what are you doing-?" Sirius tried to ask but he was laughing too much, the sound muffled against Harry's dark mane of hair.

"LOOK OUT!"

"I'm looking out," Sirius said, holding Harry against him as he craned his neck, pretending to look around the room for pirates. "I don't see them, Harry. I think you're safe."

Harry went to pull away from Sirius' arms but then Sirius saw an opportunity and cried, "Wait! I see them! Don't move!"

Harry went still and Sirius pulled him in close, and for the briefest moment closed his eyes and held the boy tight, ignoring Lily's questioning look and the knocking that came at the front door again and Harry's fingers scrabbling up his neck reaching for his hair. In a second Harry would pull his hair and he'd cry out in pain and he'd have to let Harry go or else Lily would start to figure out Sirius had feelings bubbling up inside him, and his reputation would be shot to hell, and someone would have to answer the damn door.

But for the moment Sirius hugged Harry tight and said quietly, "I won't let the pirates get you, pup."


	35. Another pesky author's note

Hi there, sorry to bother you guys with this if you just got an alert thinking I've updated the story and were sadly mistaken to see that this is just an author's note.

Don't worry, I'm not here to tell you I'm not finishing this story. I am definitely continuing Light Up The Sky.

But, it will take me longer to update, because I feel I'm losing steam with this story. It will (probably) be coming to an end soon.

But a lot of you have been wondering if I'm writing a sequel, or any other stories similar to this. That is why I am writing this author's note.

I'm starting a new story, slightly similar to this one because it involves Harry and his parents and all of the Marauders, but the plot is not the same, so it's not just a repeat of this one. It's a Marauder-era fic, if that interests you.

So if you'd like to read this story while waiting for me to update LUTS (what an odd acronym), here it is:

s/8238760/1/Something_Wicked_This_Way_Comes

**Edit: I just realized links don't work on here. So the title is Something Wicked This Way Comes, and you can find it by just clicking the link to my profile, of course.**

Thank you for your time, and please don't be mad if you thought this was going to be a new chapter. I will try to update LUTS soon.

Toodles!


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